mnn727

Just read this marriage board and the advise board and you'll find out who they are.

You know, I get the feeling that many of you think I am advocating for the use of porn, I'm not, someone asked me what possible good it could be and I gave 2 examples from my own pre-LDS life. What I am advocating is to take it out of the extreme shame group and put it back into the sin category and give families a realistic response to it - its not the end of the world or even the end of the marriage. Its the breaking of a Covenant and it is possible to come back from that just like its possible to come back from taking a drink or smoking a cigarette or even from eating fruit out of season. (ok the last one was a light hearted attempt at getting a smile out of some of you)

Another thought is I really don't think we've given families a reasonable response to finding out someone in the family is viewing porn. How many threads are started by wives here about this asking 'What do I do now?' What about the wives that don't have anyone to talk to or are so ashamed they are afraid to say they don't know what to do. A couple in my ward whom I home taught got divorced over this, we had no clue there was even an issue, there were no talks with the Bishop, no talks with us the Home teachers, she found out about the porn and her family told her to divorce him, period. Being a young wife, born in the Church, believed her marriage and her shot at the CK was done. With some proper counseling they might have worked through it, but it was so shameful to everyone involved, no one would talk about it until I finally talked with the father.

How can I put this without offending..... It can be educational and can get things started. Look people, I am not advocating for porn, I have not looked for/at it in a couple decades but I am merely saying that that the emphasis we put on how terrible it is may not be entirely justified. I think the best argument against it is, as someone said previously, we make certain Covenants and this is one of them (under Chastity). We've made it so shameful of a thing that (primarily) men hide it rather than seeing it as another sin to overcome. They then feel guilty and are afraid to discuss it cause they know how big of a deal we've made it, and its starts a big loop and very seldom ends well.

I guess my whole point is that we make such a big deal out of it, that when a wife finds out that her husband looked at porn - no matter whether its 1 image or multiple, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit girls or raunchy hardcore images, that she has been taught to think 'I married a pervert, the marriage is over (or at least in big trouble)' and that's really not always the case. I just don't believe its always a problem and that's someone with actual experience talking.

Windseeker, thanks for posting that but I have to reject it. As some of you know I am an adult convert and both my wife and I viewed porn in the days before we found the gospel. I am sorry, while some of those may be true in some cases, but not one of those are true in every case. Its been years since we viewed it, and I certainly won't go into any details but both my wife and I feel it (at the time) enhanced our sex lives. My only real objections to it are: 1. it portrays unrealistic women and men (models/airbrushed/photo-shopped) 2. Many times the women involved are involved due to abuse, either currently or in their past. I just feel sometimes we make a big deal out of it because we are told to make a big deal of it. having said that I do agree that some men do develop a problem with it and I think in SOME cases its because we make such a big deal out of it that they reject not only the teachings about porn but that may lead some to reject the Church too.

ok, so rationally (and yes, I'd like a serious explanation), why is porn a serious problem? ie what problems does it cause?

There were really no survivors of Oceanic Flight 815.

That's not entirely true. I assume he lives there too and contributes to paying the bills. I don't know if the O.P.'s husband has a problem with it or not, but knee jerk reactions never solved anything.

LDS Gospel Library of course

You've never listened to Jeffrey R Holland? he quotes from it in most conference talks. He always says "Some versions translate that as....."

One person at a time.

Y'all come on over to Texas: great economy, low housing prices in general and little humidity unless you're near the coast. Not as many Yankees as in Florida (and I've lived in both) though we do have some. And yes Vort, it was the war of Northern Aggression.

One mans heaven is another mans hell -- that would be eternal punishment for me.

Its always possible, it just depends on your on balancing your needs against your wants and desires. I lived in South Dallas and worked in North Dallas, if you've ever driven through downtown Dallas during morning and evening rush hours everyday, you'll understand why I sold the home in south Dallas and moved to within 6 miles of my job in North Dallas thus saving both gas and my sanity.(although some here will probably question the sanity part)

1. We are a Covenant making people, its a Health Covenant with God 2. We will continue to: increase in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. meaning we will continue to grow more Christ-like.

From LDS.org Emphasis is mine

I'd love to go through the Hymn book with a black magic marker and remove many songs that do not have the Praise of God as its primary subject.

Stop driving so much. I have a truck and only spend about $75 a month. BTW the OP's gas price when Obama took over is incorrect, even though its been posted all over Source: Consumer Reports

We have one in our Ward, he asks for quarterly reports from the various organisations of what their members are doing.

No matter who wins today: the sun will rise in the morning, Jesus is still the Christ, the Church is Still true and Thomas Monson is Gods Prophet on Earth today.

Ever walk into a bar? If you have you wouldn't have to ask this.

and Darth Vader is Luke's Father.

Hurricanes are natures way of moving hot air away from the equatorial regions. Its a natural phenomenon. Gods not up there with a Celestial whisk.

Sounds like you're headed for trouble -- people don't just change for the better after getting married.