Tamrajh

Even if you can't schedule an appointment with your therapist, you should be able to call and ask them what they want you to do. Good luck.

Uh, yeah. Kevin and I will be there.

Ruth, I can give you a ride, you're on my way out to Orem anyway and I don't want to go alone. Imagine walking into that room by yourself! Oh the terror of all the stares! j/k Anyway, I can pick you up if all you were missing is a ride. We are NOT waiting for elphie though. Do you know she missed most of the Rocky Horror Picture Show? She didn't even get to do the dance! Funky, I was really looking forward to meeting and hugging the crap out of you! Not sure how well you would have liked it but too bad, would have given you a huge ole hug anyway! I'm sorry the cadillac converter went out on your car. That really sucks.

Hidden, even your last comment was full of depression and suicidal thoughts (coming from someone who has lived in that realm for a long time, I recognize it). Are you seeking professional help? Are you learning how the plan of salvation works? REALLY WORKS FOR YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL?

Wow. Thanks for pointing out how much I SUCK! I agree with Superbaldguy, avoid doing what offends the Spirit. You're doing everything else already.

Has he written the final book? I thought there was going to be one more written in the series.

I don't even understand my mental illness (bi-polar disorder), it's hard to fathom someone else understanding it who hasn't ever dealt with it in some fashion.

Let's just say it was bad, very bad. And Kristoffer had the unpleasant opportunity of seeing it first and reporting it so it was removed promptly.

It's gone

One thing that came to my mind is that you can't change him. You can only change yourself. " I just want him to care and really listen and acknowledge my feelings and emotions." What if he doesn't? You need to be able to heal yourself from the grief of losing a child. Then you need to deal with the grief of being mistreated as a wife. Your husband just may not be the type of man that will listen and acknowledge your feelings. Some men aren't. If you love him and value your marriage, which it sounds like you do, you may need to work on accepting his love in a different way. One thing you can do is continue to work on yourself. Heal yourself. Having never gone through what you have, I am not in a position to give advice about losing a child. Seek counseling about it. That is a big thing and something that professional advice is definitely needed in dealing with well. The more healthy you become, the more your husband may realize what he has in you and be willing to change. Maybe not. Either way, you can't keep wishing that he is a certain way, it just doesn't work that way. I've tried.

awww. I read the article and, I guess I am one of the spiritually immature because I did feel special and enlightened. As though I had been able to see something out of the ordinary and been given a little extra guidance. Maybe I should go back to the conference talks and look for my guidance there, like we're all supposed to do. Pay your tithing, attend church and the temple, love one another, get out of debt, build up your food storage, etc. These are the things of extra guidance we have been given over the years. I'm not sure why i was excited to think I had gotten a little extra suddenly when I know the rest of what we've been given is all I really need. Glad you found, and posted the article. Thanks!

Someone here said something to the effect that we need to be able to sustain our leaders, we don't necessarily need to agree with them. So I guess that's what it comes down to, bottom line, for me. There are a few things I question, but I received my testimony that the church is true so I have no doubt about it. I can sustain all my leaders, I know they receive their inspiration from Father and that it's for the good of their followers. I can sustain them in their callings. If, however, one of my stake presidency runs for mayor, I may or may not vote for him. But I still sustain him in his calling. Not sure if that answers your situation at all or if I'm rambling cuz it's 1AM for me. I feel your plight. Continue to seek guidance, but don't focus on it. You will receive your answers in the Lord's time, not yours. For now relish in the fact that you know you joined the true church. :) God Bless.

From one "I'm not being abused, he's just unhappy all the time" woman to another, get out.

Yeah, what he said.

Hi John. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I can relate to some of what you're saying; not being able to feel as though you're a part of something, not being accepted socially or able to connect with others. At least, I think that's part of what you're saying. I am aware of the rest of your situation too. I'm concerned about you putting so much stock into your move to Bountiful because it may not be the green grass you're hoping for. I just don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm here in Utah, not far from Bountiful though so we can maybe become friends and get together with a group from the site sometime. There are a lot of us here in the North Salt Lake area. I think that would help you. Maybe? I've had really good friends who were in the same situation as you so you can always feel free to email me and open up to me. I will not judge. I promise. I'm a horrible person so I am not in a position to judge. :) I miss you coming into the chat room. You didn't come in an awful lot, but I do remember seeing you in there and chatting with you a little bit. I guess I'm rambling too. Ultimately I guess I'm trying to say, you're not all alone. I hear you and love you. *hugs*

I am so impressed with the responses everyone has posted; what love dwells herein. I too know the pain you are going through. I had a horrible time in high school and was quite a loner. Although everyone knew who I was and said I was a really nice person, I had no friends. No one I could rely on. I always felt alone and did attempt suicide. I can tell you that it's not the answer and having to swallow charcoal is not a good experience or memory. It is just as disgusting as it sounds. You are not alone. There are others who feel the same way you do, maybe for different reasons, but they feel just as alone as you. It gets easier once high school is over. I know it's hard to see past those three years, but 3 years compared to the next 60 is a small portion to have to deal with. It does suck. I'm not discounting it. It sucks a lot, I know. You will come out of this stronger, with more compassion and empathy, more patience, more tolerant than others, a better manager than most, and a better person overall. I'm not sure why Father feels you need these qualities and all the others He's helping you develop, but I'm sure there's a reason. He loves you. We love you. We understand you and we will always listen to you. Come on here and open your heart to us, visit us in chat, email any of us. Take your pick, we will continue to help you through this. You are not alone and you are loved.

Can I change my answer? I may have to leave dear old Grandma to the afterlife and ask Nostradamus to dinner instead. So that's Christ and Nostradamus (who probably spells his name totally differently than that).

Their deep, deep, vibrant voices. The way their arms wrap all the way around me twice and fully envelop me in a hug against their huge, hard chests. The way they try so hard to understand. That they hold, honor, and exercise the priesthood - sent directly from Heavenly Father. That they are created as images of our strong and loving Heavenly Father. That they love, honor, protect, and care about women.

Jesus Christ and my maternal Grandma. She died before I was born and I have heard great things about her. I've always wanted to get to know her and wonder what her advice would be on dating, marriage, raising kids, so on. Also, I want to know more about her childhood. Jesus, well that's just obvious. I could talk to him for days and never learn everything I want to learn. I hope this dinner lasts for a really long time!

I hadn't heard of any Jewish people converting to Mormonism but I wondered about that when I read in the Bible and BOM about the church being sent to them after it was given to the Gentiles. It's nice to hear that there are descendants of Jewish people who are members and are able to do their work for them. I'm glad.

So back to the REAL topic... I suspect the 1/3 and 5 virgins were all thinking something to the effect of "Oh, it's not that bad. I'm just a little off target here. He'll forgive me a little bit. Right? I mean He loves me, He knows I don't mean it. I'm just going along with it because everyone else is. He knows the real intent of my heart after all... that's all that matters." Hmmm ... maybe I should get my visiting teaching done, and start having FHE, and reading the scriptures every day with the family...

TeeHee THANKS!!! :)

Thanks all!

This is a discussion we had once in chat, quite a while ago, but I want to open it up on the board. We know that having pride in our hearts is something we've been warned against; that it's not a good thing to have and being prideful is mentioned many times in the scriptures as being a fault. We should be humble. However, when it comes to my kids doing something that I feel is spectacular, I can't help but fill up with pride. For instance, tonight my 15 year old son will be honored at his Eagle Scout Court of Honor. He has earned 34 badges, in comparison to the 21 that are required for the Eagle, and he has pushed himself to do this. Well, all except for his project; I did have to push him for that because he got hooked on an Internet game. Nonetheless, he decided he wanted to become an Eagle Scout by the time he was 15 so he pushed himself to earn all the badges and do everything he needed to. He was missing one badge by his 15th birthday due to scheduling conflicts, but I think he's done really well for himself. And yes, I'm proud of him! But then I feel guilty because I know I'm not supposed to be prideful. So obviously I'm missing something. Help me understand this concept and conflict please so I can overcome it and be done with it. Thanks in advance! Oh, did I tell you my son is getting his Eagle tonight? LOL

I found it to be quite entertaining. Makes me wonder if the "ex-Mormon" had been excommunicated and was still reeling from the sting of that thus he had come up with the explanation of our conspiracy to take over the government. Or he was just on drugs/insane/an idiot. Makes me proud to be a Utahn...