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Everything posted by NeuroTypical
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God bless you and your family
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Random Question
NeuroTypical replied to Lakumi's topic in Learn about The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints
Before I met my wife, I'd probably react judgmentally and negatively. But her Christlike love of people has rubbed off on me over a decade. So now, it would just be something to know about one of the many unique people in my daily life. I'd be interested to know what she thought about her past, her perspectives, the ups and downs of such a lifestyle, and what she wanted in her future. I believe we all have the Light of Christ in us, her too, and would be interested to hear how that light worked in her. -
Random Question
NeuroTypical replied to Lakumi's topic in Learn about The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints
Feel free to grab experiences from my life as sources of ideas then. Most mormon adults were content to just get to know me as much as they could, and just be people. Most teachers and home teachers were caring and considerate. I had a few genuine friends as I grew up in the church. As for the fun stories, I've already told you about the bishop. Other stories: * The Boy Scouts ran an aluminum recycling fundraiser, and the whole troop came over after I told them my family saved cans and were happy to donate them. Imagine their faces when they discovered the cans were all beer cans. Your imagination probably closely aligns with the actual reactions. (They did take all the cans, with as much gratitude as they could produce while trying to ignore the stench of stale beer.) * I eventually went inactive in my late teens. Our saintly wonderful hometeachers had to run the gauntlet of my crotchety father, and my surly sarcastic self, in order to get to my mom who was the only person that wanted them there. * My dad enjoyed testing people to see what sort of people they were. Whenever he met a new mormon, the first words out of his mouth were "I'm Jesus Christ you know". He didn't believe it obviously, but it was a good way to sort the angry or offended people off to the side where they could be ignored, and identify the good-natured and interested people which he'd get to know better. * He was content to have me go to church, until I wanted to pay tithing, then he hit the roof and had a big problem. (Although ultimately he let me do it.) Also, this link is an important read. Everyone should read it, not just people looking for inspiration for stories. -
Random Question
NeuroTypical replied to Lakumi's topic in Learn about The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints
Then you'd have little Loudmouthy. That's basically my story. My dad was a crotchety old antireligious crumudgeon, who intentionally came to Utah to find "one of those mormon women" to marry. He found my mom, who was a jackmormon who smoked and drank and married my dad, partially as a way to rebel from her sturdy pioneer stock-descended parents. But she figured I might as well go to church, so I went. I walked (it wasn't far), and sometimes people would give me rides. A ward full of people who saw little quiet introverted loudmouthy just show up to church on his own, and leave on his own, generated some fun and memorable stories. I encountered a bazillion looks over the years that I eventually learned to interpret in retrospect as "worried anxious concern with a little bit of embarrassment over not knowing what to say", because people didn't really have a way to explain me, and I was so darned introverted and quiet they couldn't get anything by talking to me, so they were forced to fill the gaps in their knowledge with all sorts of strange notions. Somehow one of my bishops got the impression that I didn't have a father, and tried to sympathize with me about it in one interview. But overall, people loved me and were nice, I had a standard range of stellar-to-less than great teachers and home teachers, and most of the rest of my experience was basically dictated by my own introverted nature. -
At 2 and a half, your daughter is a sponge, absorbing everything that comes her way. It doesn't really matter where she is or what she's doing, she's absorbing. In my opinion, there is no organization or group or school or philosophy or type of person or group of people, that is "better" for your daughter at this age, besides her immediate family. In my opinion, whatever Montesorri or any other group has to offer, your daughter won't get any more out of it than she would a trip to a new park, or meeting a new neighbor, or being with any other group of kids. In other words, if you're sold on some sort of structured program of some kind, you're being a good mom. Moms who aren't sold on that, are also good moms.
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There's a difference between keeping secrets, and spreading gossip. I'm not wise enough to know exactly where gossip starts and ends, but it is true that I don't bow to pressure to tell everything I know, just based on the fact that I've learned it.
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Nope, never. Well, the sole exception is what the kids and I are getting her for birthday/Christmas/etc. We call those "I don't tell you's", and we're as open as humanly possible about them. This is a big thing in our house, with carefully discussed and agreed-to rules. When one spouse has a history of abuse at the hands of a family member, transparency and a total lack of secret keeping is one of the critical things. The spouse. Always. I've stopped conversations to say "Oh - before you go any further, just know that I keep nothing from my wife. Whatever you say to me, just think of it as saying it to her too." The consequence of living like this, is people rarely talk to me about my wife. What a cool consequence - I heartily recommend it to everyone. Whenever a word leaves my body, whether through voice or typing or what have you, I don't have any misplaced senses of ownership on that word. It's going to go wherever it goes, and be heard/read by whoever ends up receiving it, and it's out of my hands. It seems like any other approach is doomed to give me grief, and I have enough sources of grief without tracking where information goes once it leaves me, and getting hurt if it ends up somewhere I didn't want it to go. What a waste of time.
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Been there Traveler, on both counts actually. I eventually had to get out of the landlording business, because of having to play scrooge and kick people out of their homes. And my mother had poor and failing health for years before her eventual passing. For the eviction stuff, just remember that old church video about the guy who stepped in to pay the debt. You, as the person owed, are not the bad guy for taking steps. For your mother, god bless and hang in there. What happens will happen.
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Hi and welcome Gregory!
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LDS enrolled in a non-LDS but religion affiliated school?
NeuroTypical replied to Bini's topic in General Discussion
I suppose I should be a bit more specific. We stay away from their geology and earth history classes. Nothing wrong with their botany, math, ancient Egypt, electricity, earth science, and meteorology classes. We just figure that when it comes to the age of the earth, and dinosaurs, and all that - it's important to learn about such powerful tools as radiocarbon dating, and not spend effort trying to instill a certain set of beliefs despite what these tools have to say. Fun story: My kids and I went on a field trip to a nature center with these folks once. On one part of the nature hike, the guide pointed out an area where folks could find evidence of fossilized plants and trees and whatnot. More than one parent shied away from the location like a mormon who had just been invited to go into a bar and smoke a cigarette. One poor lady was being assaulted from all sides by her inquisitive kids, who kept hurling questions about fossils at her from all sides. It looked like she was about to collapse under the blows, so I tried to step in and help. "From what they tell me, fossilization happens when a stick or bone or something gets buried in the mud for a long time. Over time, the mud turns to rock, and eventually the plant or bone sits in the water long enough that the minerals seeping in eventually replace the stick or bone, and it turns into a different kind of rock." The kids were sort of disappointed - I think they were expecting something more sensational or melodramatic - maybe something with demons? I dunno. The poor woman was closing her eyes and forcing herself to nod, coming across almost as someone who was worried her faith was under assault, but somehow managed to avoid getting directly hit. She eventually came up for air, and told her kids to thank me for the appropriate explanation. Near the end of the hike, there was a log in the river, and I heard her calling her kids over. "Come look at this log! It's fossilizing!" :) -
So don't leave us hanging, what was Joshua's reaction?
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LDS enrolled in a non-LDS but religion affiliated school?
NeuroTypical replied to Bini's topic in General Discussion
We homeschool, and we've involved our kids in different co-ops over the years. A totally secular one full of liberals that my wife hated, and we eventually left because of their sneering dismissiveness towards faith. A co-op run by Nazarenes, which we eventually left because it was on the other side of town and our friends in it moved away For 3 years now, a co-op run out of our local mega-church - still going strong. Pros: * Kids surrounded by good God-fearing good Christian people. * Faith-based worldview Cons: * The occasional antimormon idiot gets on my wife's nerves. * Stay away from the science classes, because of their creationist worldview. When you think about it, when you send your kids to public school, you are making a similar choice about the religious affiliation of the district, teachers, and government regulations. You're choosing to keep faith-based stuff away from your kid's educational experience. -
I want a new car stereo with bluetooth so I can stop connecting my iPod through a cassette player adapter.
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There needs to be a "doubleThanks" button, LP. What a powerful post. Other folks in the corrections industry give widely diverse answers, but always fascinating. On the other end of the spectrum, a lady once cheerily replied "Oh, of course evil exists. We release it into the community every other Thursday!" Whenever I've been able to dig deeper, they've talked about perspectives of the human condition, understanding how inmates got to where they are, pained awareness about how alike inmates and CO's are, how short the distance to cover from being one to being the other. One said that evil acts like a cancer that can kill you without stopping your heart, and once you're dead but still walking around, it's almost a kindness to have someone stop your heart and prevent your body from further actions. I'll PM you for a copy of your book.
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I always like watching people fight over how churches or religious figures use their power/influence/money. I'm reminded of Mother Theresa. When she died, she left behind two pairs of shoes, a bucket, a pair of glasses, and a simple covering. According to Wikipedia, this lady at the time of her death, ran an organization of "over 4,000 sisters, and an associated brotherhood of 300 members, operating 610 missions in 123 countries." Her organization ran hospices and homes for the dying, soup kitchens, dispensaries and mobile clinics, children's and family counseling programs, orphanages, and schools. And yet she also had critics and naysayers at least as passionate and concluded in their opinions as the folks in this thread. They were ticked off at how she used her status as recipient of Nobel Peace Prize. They were mad about the advice she gave governments of the nations and the UN. They figured Jesus would have done it differently, and accused her of not being Christlike and following Jesus. Folks will always be mad about how other people and organizations use the resources at their disposal. It's human nature.
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When I hear it, I hear someone telling me to butt out of their business.
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Mormon/Evangelical Marriage
NeuroTypical replied to wolfpackpilot's topic in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Hi wolfpackpilot, Good answers! You're holding up pretty well to the 3rd degree we're giving you here. I have to admit it's very rare to encounter someone with a question on getting married, who actually gives one second's thought to the existing children's needs. And here you are, all bringing up their needs and thinking about them and everything. I find that comforting, and certainly a point in your favor.My second question I ask people thinking about remarriage, is "divorce rates for 2nd marriages are much higher than first marriages. Since you weren't able to hold your first marriage together, what makes you think you can make the second one work, when the odds are even more stacked against you?" So I'm just some faceless random internet stranger, and you don't answer to me. But you dang well need to have a good answer that makes sense to you, or all you're doing is inviting your future second ex-wife's kids to form attachments with you, so you can rip them to shreds. And that, to put it bluntly, really, really sucks for them. They've already endured one breakup - if they lose you too, you're basically guaranteeing that they will never have a successful marriage of their own. Consider carefully. So hey, if you can look at yourself in the mirror and have a good answer to all that, then who am I to stand in your way? I'd be happy to attend your wedding and celebrate and root for you and support you both. I've seen blended families work. I've also seen many successful marriages where one spouse is gone quite a lot. It can work. -
Mormon/Evangelical Marriage
NeuroTypical replied to wolfpackpilot's topic in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Hi Wolfpack and welcome, Are you willing to support your wife and her children in paying tithing to the LDS church? Are you willing to support them in church attendance, weekly activities, and living an LDS lifestyle? Are you willing to financially support her children in going on missions when they are of age? Are you willing to support the word of wisdom in the home (no alcohol, tobacco, drugs)? Family home evening? Family prayers? Are you willing to support her children in getting sealed in the temple? If so, then I can ask you my question I ask anyone considering a second marriage. -
Hey LiterateParakeet - I always like to ask these two questions when I run into people with experience in corrections. Does evil exist? What does it look like?
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I'm on record of standing in constant awe of my wife, and the work she does with the occasional lost soul who comes her way. She does not make threats, or seek any sort of influence or power over these people in any way. She clearly lays out what she will and will not do for someone, and then sticks to it. "I will come visit you in the ER once. If you end up there again, I'm done." "If you can go a week off the needle, I will buy you a personalized zippo lighter and celebrate with you." "I am not your friend, and I will not come to your funeral." "If you get this job and hold it for a month, I will be in your corner and argue with your parents over [whatever perk the person wants]" "It's no skin off my nose if you end up dead in the gutter. I get to go home at night. My working with you, only works if you want to get better." For whatever reason, that sort of transparent honesty just is hard to come by in these kids' worlds.
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Hi and welcome femme!
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Hi and welcome Saber! How old are you?