NeuroTypical

OK James, you want someone to say something besides "you're whining"? Here you go: Clinical depression is a horrible burden to bear. It makes things so very much harder for you than other people. Other people have friends and get invited places - you're cynical and alone. I get it. I mean, I can't really empathize because I've never battled clinical depression, but I am married to one of you. The best way I can put it: The rules are different for you. You probably know about level playing fields, and how you're often not playing on one? You've got to play anyway. When people at church speak from the podium about how "we" should be, and what "we" should do - they're usually talking about folks like me, but sometimes they're not always talking about folks like you and my wife. This isn't a mormon issue. You'll have this exact same issue crop up no matter where you go, or who you choose to stand amongst. I'm guessing your experience with clubbing was unfulfilling in similar ways, am I right? Well, convert to whatever faith you like, hang out with people from whatever hobby or demographic or age group, and this issue will follow you there. This is what my wife sees. This is an issue of you figuring out how to live on planet earth with all the humans. Most of them don't have the faintest clue what it's like to be you. Most of them, in fact, have a totally backwards understanding, and when pressed to give advice, give the wrong advice. Do you know about the hyperboleandahalf lady? She tried to talk about her depression with people and noticed this. She describes it in terms of her fish dying, and she's asking people for help: There's a way for you, you just need to find it. In the church or out of it, you need to find it. The church is true so you should stay in it, but you still need to find your path.

I hate dress shirts, and I hate ties. If I've gotta put them on, they might as be the kind that gets me the least amount of grief from other people, because I'm already getting grief from the things themselves. Itchy, hot, strangling things. Sometimes I don't make it out of the parking lot before taking my tie off and unbuttoning that horrible top button. Weddings, funerals, church. 15 years ago it used to be weddings, funerals, church, job interviews - so life is slowly getting better. One down, three to go.

Hi DellaMarie, I remember how ticked off and betrayed I felt when someone scammed me for thousands of dollars. I remember getting contacted years later by the next person he had cheated in the same way - she was even more ticked off and felt more betrayed than I had. Sorry this happened to you.

Practice being like Kristoff. Frozen: "Sleigh Ride Scene" He later uses this information to explain why he doesn't trust her judgement. He actually says "I don't trust your judgement". And it's not insulting, or unrighteously judgmental, or bad. I know it's a movie and all, but there really are people like Kristoff out there who can be grounded and firm and reasonable without being self-righteous.

I spent 6 years inactive, and did much searching before coming back. I remember choosing to take the sacrament again for the first time, the first home teaching assignment, the first calling, all those firsts. It was a little different for me, because I had never really taken things seriously before that, so a lot of it really was meaningful for the first time. So I guess I can maybe relate a little, but not too much. Glad to see you here anyway!

It's about dang time for John Dehlin. I used to follow his facebook page, until I started wondering why I was following the page of someone who so openly was rejecting the truth claims of the church. Dude is in the chess club. If you're in the chess club but love checkers more, you should go join the checkers club, not try to remake the chess club.

Everyone (with a tolerance for some bad language) should go watch Secondhand Lions. Inheritances and family infighting isn't the central point of the movie, but it's still one of the best movies on the subject I've ever seen. Hard to laugh and cry at the same time, but this movie pulls it off.

Just another reason to love the old '90's sitcom Cheers. Dr. Lilith Crane. So aptly named.

Are her fears reasonable? Has your mom or any other family member argued with her or otherwise tried to interfere with his care?

Did you have a specific, talked about or written down, agreement about under what circumstances the w/d would be returned? If not, it seems silly to get offended when the other party went away with a different understanding than you have. We are so dang hesitant to bring up stuff like this upfront, but we're so eager to get all ticked off when things don't go our way, even though we never actually got around to communicating what that way was. (No, using the word "lend" a lot and making powerful eye contact when you did it, doesn't count.) I struggle with this less now than I used to, but it's still hard sometimes. Here's all it would have taken: "Oh sure we can leave it with you for a while. Our new place has one, but I know we'll want them back eventually. Is it ok if we consider this a short term thing? You can count on using it for at least three months. I mean, it may be a few years before we actually ask for it back, but we will eventually. Is this a good deal for you?" Something like that needs to be in place, before I give myself leave to get offended about someone busting a deal.

Why don't you go to where the men are, and find one to marry?

Snacks for Father's day? That would rock.

As others are mentioning, this isn't really the Church-of-You-Did-Wrong-And-Must-Now-Be-Punished. There's a guy sitting behind that desk in church, who would love to know about the struggles you're having kicking some addictions. He may be able to be supportive and help with the spiritual end of things.

Hi Dolores, here it is. Sorry it's long.

Hi Dolores, My testimony also hinges on my relationship with the truth. Kudos to you, for remaining so honest to yourself that you're considering resigning your membership, since you basically betrayed yourself to get baptized in the first place. Resigning is certainly an option, but there are other choices to consider. My story is a little different than yours - I was born into the church, got baptized at 8, and it finally dawned on me that I didn't believe when I was around 18 or 19. I stopped going to church, although I did not resign my membership. Around age 25, I developed a sincere desire to know, and a desire to do what was necessary to find out, if it was all true or not. I was not about to take the sacrament, pay tithing, hold a calling, or pray publicly until I had that surety. I can find a link to my story if you like, but the result was that I did indeed obtain a sincere testimony of the existence of God, the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, and a confirmation that the Church was what it claimed to be. As I let those close to me know this had happened, I told them I was ready to get rebaptized, because like you, I wanted to do it right and start at the beginning. They all smiled kindly at me and said rebaptism wasn't necessary - I had made covenants with someone I didn't believe in - and now that I believed in Him, I just needed to start keeping my covenants. Sometimes if our sins are serious enough, a rebaptism may be in the cards, but "not believing" isn't a sin - it's a demand to stay close to truth. Anyway, I don't have a direct answer to your issue, but wanted to share some of my story. Welcome to the board, and please let us know how things go for you!

Heh - where were you 10 winters ago, when I was working in Denver, and striking up conversations with the panhandlers there? There was some vigilante who had killed 2 or 3 of the homeless, and the winter cold had already claimed a couple more of the severely addicted. Their usual worries about staying warm were impacted by not wanting to be alone where they could get shanked to death. I didn't have the faintest idea what to tell them.

For confessing sins, the Gospel Principles chapter on repentance spells it out like this:

It just finished about 5 minutes of sleety snowing here in Colorado Springs.

Something else to consider - that panhandler holding up a "stranded and hungry" sign? He's very, very aware of this math.

I crunched across the snow to get to my car in Colorado this morning.

From what I understand about federal law, if there is an investigation from CPS, the person/people being investigated must be made aware first, that there is an investigation, and second, what allegations exist. From what I understand about the various city, county, and state CPS organizations, education and adherence to the relevant federal laws are sometimes lacking. In some cases, the social workers are ignorant of the relevant laws. In other cases, they are intentionally not following them, and refusing to comply. Some are trained to bluff and lie about what they're doing, and the power they have to do it. Absolutely you should tell your bishop everything you know about what is happening. Both he, and the stake president, should be made aware of what's happening. The church in general may wish to conduct their own investigation, because absolutely if there's a bishop doing something wrong, the bishop needs to be dealt with.

The Simpsons actually figured all this out in the late '90's. Anyone remember this? The Simpsons - Trampoline Nightmare (Clip actually shows the Christian kids thinking that each jump brings them closer to God. Perhaps this is how it got into the AskGramps questioner's head...)

Our catholic neighbors recently moved, and I am sad. They were up to 9 (I think) children. They have a stretch van that seated everyone. Their house was a standard 3 bedroom 2 bath - lots of bunk beds /w double occupancy. Practical or impractical seems to spring from one's desired lifestyle. It's not like they took a lot of vacations. They seemed very content, well-behaved, happy, well adjusted, clean, and all the other words I wish I could always claim for my own family of 4. They were always thrilled to death to come swarming over to our house and sweep away our 10 yr old in a big tidal wave of giggling girls. Their oldest daughter turned 13, mom did the math and discovered that this was the last time in her life that she'd have fewer than 3 teenagers in the house for the next decade or so. Such things are not for the faint of heart, but they seemed to be doing very well.

Heh trampolines. Always had one.

This happens every year at my ward, around November. It's called "hunting season". A few years ago, we had more of our local priesthood leadership present in a ward building 210 miles away, than there was in our ward building. (Yes indeed - the bishop, both counselors, and someone in the High Priests all went on a hunting trip, and attended church at the nearest ward where they were shootin'.) As for cool stories - here's one about Brother Elza Richter. Orson Scott Card: It's a matter of how, not where, we serve