NeuroTypical

Looking at things from a parenting perspective, we find that many things with no redeeming value, have value. They have value as examples of things with no redeeming value. That said, Grease doesn't really even have much value as an example of something with no redeeming value. I can walk my kids to a casino and they can learn about how wickedness never was happiness. I can take them to a jail or prison and they can learn about future-destroying consequenses. We can watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and learn about how sometimes things can stink even though there are no bad guys. I can make dinner and they can learn to marry someone who can cook, and how to endure hardship. Heck, when old enough, they can watch Threnadier moving through the sewers and learn about the natural man and evil and such. But they watch Grease, and see the glorification of the mundane and false portrayals of what brings happiness. I'm not a fan either.

People, please. This is busfeliz' first time here, maybe we can respect her thread and not fall on each other like a pack of wolves? This is not directed at anyone specifically. Just a polite reminder of the site rules - especially rules #3 and #4:

I've learned some things in 14 years of marriage: - If you want marital bliss, you need to be more than just right about something. Much more. - Leadership and management are two different things. How many of us guys have patriarchical blessings that mention management?

Hbms!

Yay! Happy Birthday!

A third issue - his considerations for his wife's feelings seem to be a bit below par. My wife works with troubled young people on drugs. She often works with them one on one, driving them to AA meetings, spending hours talking to them, etc. The only reason she does this, is because she has my full understanding and support. She says often that if such things bugged me, she wouldn't do it, or would not work with guys. She is transparent about her activities - there are no lies or surprises. There's no discovering things she didn't tell me about. Occasionally she'll invite me to read her email, or ask my advice on something. I support her, because she is good at it, finds tremendous fulfillment in it, she can change hearts and save lives, and it's quite arguable that God sends her some of these kids because of her unique ability to make a positive difference where parents, churches, shrinks, drug counselors, and the justice system all fail. So yeah, when my wife spends an entire night with a suicidal drunken lesbian, I cheer and wish the girl the best. When the guy who takes sexy pictures of other women, lies about it, the wife has a big honkin' problem and most of us can understand why. Do you see the difference?

I can say you're in good company. Up to ten years ago, I stressed myself into a state about such things. I absolutely hated and dreaded lessons, talks, anything like it. I had much fear because I didn't know as much as I needed. But talks and stuff came my way, so here's how I dealt:I would start with reading everything I could find about the topic. A lot of the grief I had, was because I didn't have the faintest clue what I thought about a topic. After I knew a thing or two, and what source I could cite, I then wrote my lesson/talk out - often word for word, sometimes topic by topic. Then I'd practice saying my lesson out loud. I'd spend 2 hours for a 30-40 minute lesson. The starting and stopping was always horrible for me. My huge fear: "Hi brothers and sisters, um... I... uh..." (40 minutes of stunned silence passes). My second most huge fear was that I'd start opining about something and be so horribly wrong that half the people would leave the church, and the other half would tell the bishop. Writing out exactly what I'd say, and then practicing saying it, fixed that. Even with all my preparation, I had symptoms of anxiety. Short breath, racing heartbeat, couldn't sleep the night before, nightmares when I did. It was like getting ready to run through a room of alligators. After the experience, I was so drained I had to go sit in the foyer by myself and not talk to anyone for half an hour. Anyway, that was ten years ago. They made me Gospel Principles teacher. Every time, it got easier. Within 6 months, all the severe symptoms had dissapeared. Within a year, I didn't get stressed much. These days, I'm like "Oh - you want me to teach the nookie lesson on chastity in an hour? Sure - I can wing it - It'll be fun!" Knowledge and practice solved my problem. It was not easy, and there were some failures. But there were also great blessings for me, and many people have thanked me or told me I did great.

My issue is with the forming relationships with other women and taking pictures of them with little clothing, and then lying about it.Simple choice in my eyes. You can be married to me, or you can run around taking sexy photos. Pick one. I do not lie to my wife, and she does not lie to me. We're openly transparent about every thing that approaches stuff like this.mdfxdb, do you lie to your wife? What about? And you think that's ok because 'it happens all the time', or for other reasons? There isn't any jumping to it. She drew the line at sexy pictures of other women. That's an appropriate line for mormons who have made sacred covenants of marriage, in or out of the temple. He agreed, then went and did it anyway. If you consider it 'jumping to an ultimatum', then maybe you could give a number: How many additional instances of lying about taking sexy pictures of other women should she tolerate, before an ultimatum is no longer being 'jumped to'? Five? Ten?I mean, I'm not trying to claim my opinion is the only valid opinion. You're finding various opinions on this board. You obviously hold a different opinion. But mine is mine: If there are no children, my opinion is he needs to choose - a hobby taking sexy pictures of other women, or being married. If there are kids, I'd strongly push counseling, and seriously consider him moving out until he chooses one or the other.

I would consider this an ultimatum-giving situation, if we didn't have children. "It's time to choose honey. Me, or these women. Just pick - be honest - this will be the permanent answer for the rest of your life. I will proceed to move forward with your answer. If you refuse to answer, I'll assume it's not me". If we did have children, I'd strongly push counseling, and explore the idea of getting him to go live somewhere else until he decided to cleave unto me and only me, and get serious about the marriage.

Hi! Which mountains, and what trails? I spent half my life on one side of the Rockies, and the other half on the other side.

Hi maleahstar, Sorry to hear of your troubles. But there are a large number of LDS with mental illnesses, it's obvious that you didn't get shunned or kicked out for just having one. Would you like to tell us the rest of the story? What mental illness? Have you been excommunicated? What actions did the bishop and sp mention?

No idea what you're asking. You want advice on getting married quickly, but the person you might be marrying won't be available for over a year?Are you looking for advice on finding someone else to marry quickly?

Vegas has a sizable LDS population (or had one in the '90's, when I last visited). If you don't mind surrounding yourself with sin, you can eat for very cheap, or even free. You can find pornography in the gutters in the strip. (Again, or at least could in the '90's.)

The long-awaited and much-discussed review of John Dehlin's Mormon Stories has just been released by the Interpreter folks. Dubious “Mormon” Stories: A Twenty-First Century Construction of Exit Narratives - Gregory L. Smith Anyone following current events in LDS apologetics is probably interested to hear this news and read this review. There has been no small amount of personality-driven melodrama involved in it's release, which you can read about in Return of the Unread Review: A Mormon Story.

Hi Klein,I'd like to give you some useful feedback. Before I can, I need to know what you intended to accomplish with this video. What was behind it? What themes did you intend to explore? Stuff like that.

Vort, I don't understand a single sentence in your OP. But I do think you should also give My Little Pony a try.

I used to think I could help you out TG, but the other month my wife decided to dabble a little with purple highlights. The world doesn't make sense to me any more either.

Yep. Excellent casting there.

HB Pale!

Cool - I sometimes struggle with a tendency to think of city councilmembers negatively. This quote helps me be more charitable towards them.

I like Anne Rice's vampire books for similar reasons. I did learn a little about humanity's relationship with evil from them. Have you read any of the books Gillebre? My favorite character is Marius - one of the older and more powerful vampires, as well as one of the most knowledgable, optimistic, and in his own way, moral. Mrs. Rice is an interesting person. Born Catholic, became athiest and wrote her vampire novels, returned to Catholicism near the end of those books, and wrote some fictionalized historical accounts of Jesus, and is now apparently some sort of nondenominational disciple of Christ who has renounced organized religion of any kind. You should read and ponder on her vampire books, Gillebre, and search for revelation by the Holy Spirit. I think you'd find the effort rewarding.

Just to clarify, I consider the medicinal value of THC to be a separate issue totally. I do believe it does have some medicinal value. I also believe the substance is so utterly intertwined in cultural, legal, political, moral, religious, and geopolitical issues, there's no such thing as an easy answer or a solution that works for everybody.Anyway, the whole child sex trade murdering transnational criminal organization part of it is the most horrible aspect, and one that far too few people think about. Even if you're in true medical need, it's important to know who you're doing business with to ease your symptoms.

Every single time you buy a joint, you are explicitly stating, loudly and clearly, to us, the cartels, and your Father in heaven, that you do indeed think it's ok enough. You do business with kidnapers and murderers. You trade money for product with people who steal or buy children and smuggle them into other countries to be used and discarded in the sex trade. You support those activities with your money.You want to fight to legalize it, to make it legal to grow locally - you go right ahead. But you come here and start some thread about expressing feelings without being judged? Let me tell you a little story. My wife has been able to work with some of these kids. The cops called her in one day - they had a wild one for her. She went in, and saw a girl handcuffed to a table. The cops caught her robbing a store. She stabbed the first two cops, and eventually needed to be tased. She didn't speak english, and violently attacked anyone that came within arm's length. She was around 15 years old, weighed maybe 80 lbs, and was dying of liver failure due to meth addiction. They eventually found out she spoke a little spanish. She had been smuggled in by some cartel as a prepubescent child, sold for sex, and eventually escaped. She didn't know where she came from, so nobody could figure out which country they should deport her to. All she knew for certain, was she came from a place where the bad guys wore uniforms - that's why she stabbed the cops - she thought she was fighting for her life. I hope you find the easing of your depression and anxiety worth it.

Hi bigernflo, So, where do you get your weed? Do you know a local grower, or do you roll your dice with something that comes from south of the border? If the latter, I'd like to hear you talk about how it's ok to line the pockets of the transnational criminal cartels that do business in kidnapping, murder, and child sex slavery.

My favorite: Myths about Mental Illness. By Elder Alexander B. Morrison Of the Seventy - Ensign, Oct 2005The Ensign article is a summary of a book he wrote entitled Valley of Sorrow: A Layman's Guide to Understanding Mental Illness for Latter-Day Saints. Seven bucks used off amazon.com including shipping. I've bought a dozen or more copies over the years, and have handed them out to bishoprics and stake presidencies, and also mailed a few to people on boards like this. Very useful information that everyone should have, and many don't.