NeuroTypical

I honestly don't know one way or the other. But in the last decade or so, the notion has taken hold and is pretty widely accepted these days. Our church no longer rejects the idea out of hand like it once did.At the end of the day, there are a ton of adults out there who identify themselves as gay, who tell very similar stories of just always 'being this way'. They have different but similar stories from their childhoods supporting the claim. *shrug* I dunno. But I can't really reject the idea either.

You can move to another state, and help your wife honor her father and mother from arms length, from a position of strength. I am constantly amazed how much garbage and nonsense and grief we no longer have to go through, with 668.6 miles and a big honkin' mountain range between their front door and mine. Heh - that's only a valid question from you, when your kids get married.

Sorry - I should define my terms. Hookup: Some Gay people will go to Mormon-run support groups for people suffering from same sex attraction, so that they can find other gay people to have sex with. They use our meetings as a sleazy singles bar. The exact opposite impact that the meetings are for. (Or were you claiming that YSA YM/YW activities are also used in this way?)

So, if he's not talking his love language with you, who is he talking it with?Of course I don't know one way or the other - but it would be a strong suspicion in my mind at this point. Much more likely than some mental issue. I would consider confronting him directly about it. You might want to ask him if he is interested in staying married. This is one of the more common, and less helpful, ways that wives think about such things. You don't fix him. You can't fix him. You can't change him. Such things are not in your control - no matter how much you figure they ought to be, or should be. He must choose fix/change himself. You can't discuss or argue or explain or pressure or manipulate him into doing it. It can be quite a frightening realization for a young wife like you - but it's important to understand.

While you're coming down this shocking learning curve, here's another doozy for you. I've been told by more than one reliable person, that various SSA groups and meetings run by or affiliated with the church, are a great place for active gay folks with an LDS background to hook up with each other. Hope nobody is getting whiplash from this thread - but these are the facts on the ground.

So then, what's up with Cherubim and six wings and flaming coals and all that?

Great post, Traveler. If you ever tire of the screen name Traveler, I suggest Atticus. :) Before I got my firearm and permit, I spent about a year researching the issue, reading people's stories, etc. There were umpteen stories of people who had likely stopped or avoided a crime by merely brandishing a concealed weapon. But to your point, when people fired their weapon and someone was injured, most stories tell of a massive impact to the person. Phrases like "I changed that day" and "I'm no longer the same person" rule the day. From the stories I've seen, you shoot someone in self defense, you tend to come out the other side a more somber, less happy person. That, along with the high chances of tens of thousand dollars of legal bills and a possibly multiyear legal battle, really struck home for me as I considered carrying.The reason I decided to carry, is that in most of these stories, there is also the notion of "I may not be the same person, but I still get to be alive and [raise my kids, enjoy my marriage, etc.]. I have found few people who say "I'm glad I did it", but I have found several who say "I would do it again". At the end of the day, my wife and I helped put a felon behind bars, and he probably gets out this year. He is not happy with us. We live far away from him, to lessen the odds of him coming after us. We have also got word out that we will defend ourselves, hoping that will deter him. Further, we practice situational awareness and physical training that could be characterized as "99 ways to run the heck the other way, one way to stand and fight" - hoping that if he comes looking for us, we can avoid or evade him. Deter, avoid, evade. That's what we're hoping for, in the order we're hoping to see them work. But if none of that works, I wanna be there the next day to still be in my family's life. I want them there the next day to be my wife and kids. So I'll do what I have to do, even though it might make me a less happy person. You don't tell us - if you had it to do over, would you still take action to preserve your life?

The 5 love languages book is a great way to find out how to love someone else. What's his love language?

I'm still wondering why you believe there are scars. I mean, the purpose of repentence is to heal and make clean. Unless there was abuse or something, why are you thinking there are scars at all?

Just to make sure- do you mean scared (afraid), or scarred (bearing scars)?And what leads you to believe she is either?

I can help you with your ignorance, HG. It isn't about overpowering a man down and forcing him. It's about power games, humiliation, manipulation, blackmail or other leverage, and other lovely tricks. Yes, it also can involve drugging a guy, or taking advantage of a drunk guy. Grown men, adolescents, teenage males - it happens. Only a fraction as often as males rape, but yeah, it happens. And yeah, the victims often suffer incredible shame, often because they think like you - what kind of real man would let himself get raped? I don't know anything about the push you're talking about. The only person I know talking about it is Vort. Maybe he could speak to your claim.

I don't know that a NY judge has the authority to revoke a permit issued by another state... It depends on the character and disposition of the agency and individual officer. Not all law enforcement knows their own local carry laws, much less what their state accepts from other states. Further, not all law enforcement agrees even if they do know. There is no shortage of bad stories of legally permitted run-ins with law enforcement. Overturned arrests, excessive force, etc. My local cops are very cc friendly - the chief ran for county sherriff recently on the platform of removing the permit requirement. But 60 miles to the north, somone pulled over by Denver cops had to sue to have their legally permitted carry firearm returned. There is always heated and emotional debate in the carrying community on the subject. In my biased opinion, most open carry advocates I talk to seem to have the emotional maturity of a teenager demanding their rights to have a tattoo. Their reasoning tends to focus on making a statement about freedom and liberty first, and protection second.

Oh hey, anonymous forums are great sounding boards - if the posters have any brains to them. And there are lot of smart and wise posters here. From what I can see, you have two problems. The first problem is being financially dependent on them in whatever way you are. The second problem is your wife is still only part your wife, and the other part is still dependent child. If I had a magic wish granter, I'd take your problems away for you for a nickel. But I don't, so I can't. But I can say, the more you and your wife are able to lessen, mitigate, or remove those two problems, the better things will get between inlaws and you.

Regardless of age, we have many children on these forums. I've been one myself on occasion.

Heh - people are picking me for Exec Sec and Ward Clerk. I've had both those callings. Either y'all are inspired, or my Bishops have been able to see the blindingly obvious.

YES, absolutely YES! The Anti-smoking campaign that began in the 60s took a generation to take hold. Today, smoke in public and be prepared for unkind rebukes. Ok - one response - that had to reach back 50 years for a valid example.When I looked back into my own past, I had to reach back to the Reagan "what if there is a bear" campaign commercial from three decades ago. When you consider the billions of dollars spent on ad campaigns every year, and the abysmally low impact people are talking about here, perhaps y'all can see why I'm not too excited about this story. Except for a few statistically insignificant anecdotes, ad campaigns tend to fail abysmally at whatever they're trying to do. (My gripe doesn't have anything to do with the validity of the message, of course.)

I guess I just can't get as excited about an ad campaign as many of the rest of you. Maybe I just never heard any success stories. Has anyone here ever made a major lifestyle change due to a commercial they saw, or a poster, or an insert in the newspaper? Any crises resolved? Any crossroads in life resolved? What's the biggest impact y'all have had, due to an advertisement?

How is this brilliant? I mean, if it stops one rape it's money well spent, but I don't see the brilliance, or even much in the way of effectiveness...

Poor lady. I hope she'll be ok. Sounds like she did everything right - but killing someone still will change someone's life. I dislike the notion that you have to call someone for permission to defend your and your baby's life. It is not true.

Here's how my wife navigates through life: Curing other people of their faults isn't her job. Avoiding giving offense to people who need to be slapped isn't her job either. So she doesn't go looking for ways to fix such people, but when someone chooses to display unrighteous unchristlike uncharitable annoying dumbness in front of her, she is pretty plainspoken about how that crap don't fly around her. "I wish God had stopped my mother at three - we're heading to a parole hearing for #4 next month.". "Sometimes I wonder how you all suffered me, back when my husband was out of work for six months.". Such things tend to make far, far more of a positive difference on earth, than giving one of the upturned nose brigate the verbal flogging they so richly deserve. From what I'm reading, you're choosing the Christlike way. Thank you.. "Hi Bishop - I wanted you to know what I am being taught by my visiting teacher, and how the RS President is reinforcing it. Just FYI, I've asked to be taken off the VT list until the program has something a little less offensive to teach me.". This one is beyond me. My wife would have something witty and introspective to say - but I'd probably just say something that guaranteed this person would never speak to me again. Keep fighting the good fight. In some ways, it's good for an investigator to know that our church has it's share of jerks in it too.

Wait - what "them" are you talking about? We're talking about the help line specifically for bishops and stake presidents in case of abuse. Here's what the prior version of the general handbook said about it (in 2006): Are you telling us you used to be a bishop or stake president?

The commandment is to "endure to the end" - we're supposed to do it.I know someone who used to live the life you mention. She grew up, got married, and has kids. None of that would have been possible if she had died in her misery. Wanting to end suffering is good. Wanting to end life as a way to end suffering is going a bit overboard and missing the point.

You'll end up doing what you practice doing and thinking about. If you're thinking about using a shotgun as a club, how about you get a club instead? This is a serious suggestion. If someone has decided to enter your home, probably knowing you are at home, they probably won't be stopped by something that looks mean. They'll probably be taking it away from you and using it on you.This is only my opinion here, but a deterrent is only something that makes a bad guy want to move on to the next target. "He's got a mean looking shotgun" is more of an attraction, unless bad guy knows that your trained and dedicated finger is on the trigger and it's pointed at him. Mindset - if you're worried about you and your wife using what you get, then place a very high importance on that worry. You don't rise to the occasion, you fall back on what you've trained and practiced.

They made some changes in January 2009, changing a 25-yr old federal rule against loaded guns in national parks. Permit holders in states that allow concealed carry, can now carry in national parks and wildlife refuges. Source

Heh - welcome to the world of dumbness bytebear. Folks who don't spend much time aquainting themselves with reality of violence, feel safer when they see a sign that says "no guns". Public officials want people to feel safe. Hence, sign. There's really nothing more to it than that. Here in CO, I see the best of the both worlds. There are big signs saying "Absolutely no open carry - don't even think about it - we don't tolerate that sort of thing here! Bad! No!" (Translation, unthinking folk feel safe, I'm fine to carry concealed.) Another big place that experienced a shooting, has a big bold loudly stated two page weapons policy, with sections providing definitions, general statements of policy, consequences for students or nonstudents, how to get permission for special events, and what to do should you encounter one. Hidden in the middle of paragraph IV (b), is one little line that says it's ok for me to carry too. In language that's not exactly plain english. The wordy policy is to help people feel safe. The little line is for me to actually be safe.