WillowTheWhisp

I took the word 'stolen' as a typical 15 year old melodramatic way of describing events. I'm used to hearing things like that from 15 year olds as I have a 15 year old daughter with 15 year old friends, one of whom recently described being grounded as 'imprisonment'

Good point Elgama.

I know people don't necesarily turn out like their parents. I know a great example of one guy who turned out nothing like his Dad - the father served a prison sentence for sex offences and the son (now adult) is a pillar of the community and worthy priesthood holder. On the other hand I know one man whose father was a child abuser and who has recently been convicted of the same thing. You can only judge people on their own merits. At least I can see that there are other people here who felt the same way I and my daughter did about what was said.

Thank you. I have no problem understanding the instructions in Sister Beck's talk. I have read and re-read that many times and underlined and highlighted all the relevant points specifically when the new RS President was telling me what she felt the meetings were supposed to be, which contradicted what Sister Beck had said. She told me it was my role,as meetings co-ordinator, to come up with the ideas for these meetings and plan what they should be. I said that I was of the impression that was something between her and the Bishop as they knew the needs of the sisters in the Ward and I don't. Some of those needs may have come out in confidential interviews. Sister Beck said that the Relief Society President should counsel with the Bishop about the needs and requirements but she was telling me that if I had enough faith Heavenly Father would tell me what the sisters' needs were because he knows everything. She told me to go and pray for the revelation. I got quite upset by this because when I prayed about it I just kept getting the message that such confidential information was not for me, that I was simply to help plan out the structure of the actual meetings once they had been decided on by her and the Bishop. She then got quite annoyed with me and basically told me that I was shirking my responsibilities and she had a heavy enough burden of responsibility as it was and I wasn't helping by refusing to do my part. She told me to go away and pray about it again. I told her I could pray about it again but I didn't think I was going to get any different answer and asked her if she would pray about it too. I was in tears by this time because I was getting all this contradictory information from her against what was in Sister Beck's talk which Bishop had told me to go and read and which I thought I had understood and had confirmed to me through prayer.It seemed to me that Sister Beck was even saying that the calling of meetings co-ordinator was not even obligatory but that one could be called basically just to do the leg work, the practical sideof things after the decision making had been done by the RS President and Bishop. Anyway during the week I was out to lunch with one of her counsellors and she said she had been praying about it and reading the talk and discussed it with the RS President who had then prayed about it and received confirmation that I was right, it was for her and the Bishop to make those decisions not me - once she had realised that and discussed it with her counsellor who was appointed to Relief Society(we have an unusual set-up where the RS President presides over Primary, one counsellor presides over Relief Society and one over Young Women - Young Women and Primary do not have presidencies only teachers) once she understood who would receive the inspiration, the counsellor appointed to RS was suddenly overwhelmed with ideas and the two of them put together a long list to discuss with the Bishop. None of these would ever have occurred to me. It only works when you do it the right way. It has been a great relief to me that she finally understood it and stopped blaming me for not getting the revelation that was never intended for me in the first place. I find it quite interesting Earthmother that you got the message that you were not to have a co-ordinator whereas I, as co-ordinator have even been given an assistant! I really don't see that there will be enough in it to require two of us to do and yet there are callings in our Ward which haven't been filled. That seems a bit topsy turvey to me but presumably makes sense to Bishop.

I think people just misunderstand what is meant by 'works'. Some people see it as buying your way into Heaven, The Scriptures say faith without works is dead, but works without faith is less than that. It's nothing. You cannot buy salvation, the scriptures make that perfectly clear BUT the Saviour says "If you love me keep my comandments." He also says "I was hungry and you didn't feed me. I was naked and you didn't clothe me." and when asked when did we ever see you hungry or naked and refuse to help you and his reply was - every time you didn't help someone else. He expects us to care for others - works - or he will not acknowledge that he ever knew us. Seems pretty clear to me, and quite scary. I'm always asking for his help but I wonder if I ever do all the things he asks of me.

It would be interesting to hear the other side of the story, or even a few answers to questions put to the daughter.

Unfortunately I also feel like this. Up to now I have liked the son and entertained hopes that he and my daughter might be more than friends when he gets back off his mission. But now I'm less enthusiastic about the idea and thinking that if he thinks it's OK for his Dad to say those kind of things to her then what are the standards he was brought up with and how will he behave at that age.

That's exactly what I am feeling myself. She has visited their home, stayed for the weekend when the older sister got married. I said I wouldn't be happy about her doing that again and she says neither would she. That weekend was so full of people the Dad never actually spoke to her apart from to say hello.

Thanks Gwen. I don't actually know his Bishop. They are not in our Ward. It felt pervy to me too but as the son was assuring my daughter that it wasm't I wondered how anyone else might see it.

My daughter (18) has several friends who have reached missionary age. One young man she is quite close to and wanted to give him a RWH ring before he leaves but she does not know his ring size. One day she noticed his Dad logged into Facebook so she sent him a message asking if he knew his son's ring size. The reply she got was "wot u wanna no 4?" which she thought was an odd way to speak for a middle-aged man so she asked me what I thought. I said perhaps he'd left his computer logged on and one of the kids had gone on there. She agreed with me and replied to the message that she just wanted to get him a surprise before he went on his mision and left it at that. A couple of days later she was online and got a message from the father, same kind of text talk, saying he didn't know the ring size but supposed he could suck his son's finger and then measure the hole it left in his lips. There were other things which seemed to have crude undertones. Now I was convinced that was a youngster trying to be funny in a distasteful way and told her to ignore it. Then she got a text message from the son. His Dad had asked him about ring size and told him why my daughter wanted to know. The son confirmed that those messages had really been from his father. I felt very uneasy about that and that a supposedly respectable middle aged man, EQP would talk to my daughter like that online leaving her feeling so uneasy. Would anyone else feel the same? The son says other people have been offended by his Dad's sense of humour but he means nothing by it. The Mother and Father are divorced and the son lives with his Dad which has had me wondering what his upbringing has been like.

In our Ward all the men and boys wear suits, whiteshirt and tie. All the women wear dresses or skirts below the knee. Our Bishop once commented on someone wearing a pale blue shirt as not being church standard - and yet President Uchtdorf has said he would rather have people come to church dressed casually than not come to church.

I don't think I have any home teachers. If I have, I have never seen them. With no priesthood in our home I would really appreciate them sometimes but I think they just have assignments to visit less active brethren. That is really sad. The home teachng isn't being done for 'the administration' it should be done for the Lord. I relate it to the covenant in the temple where we promise to do our all to build up the kingdom of God on the earth. Are we not asked in the interview if we are keeping our covenants?

I remember feeling exactly the same way when I wanted to go to the temple and my Bishop kept telling me to wait. I waited until I was engaged and then was finally able to go.I shared that experience with my fiance and understood then that I wouldn't have wanted anyone else be the one who took my hand to guide me through to the Celestial room. I'm glad my Bishop taught me to be patient in that.

Sounds like you have a great Bishop there who really cares about you and wants to do all he can to help. Good luck with the job hunting.

I'm a little confused by the bit about being afraid of losing each other if they omit (?admit) to their sin. If this is a sin they have committed together they both know about it so why would they lose each other? As both are LDS I think they need to repent of their sin and be at peace with themselves and Heavenly Father first before they think of what's next. Then if they are sure of their commitment to each other they could think about marriage before sinning again and then work towards becoming temple worthy and being sealed.

You have faced him and confronted him with the problem. All he did in response is turn that around and blame you. Yet you are not in the wrong here. You did well to contradict him about the medication. Your Bishop, and Heavenly Father through your Bishop's blessing, have confirmed what I think you already knew. You have already slept in that house with him in fear with your door locked. You have told us you are afraid of his anger. He is the one upsetting the children, not you. Please for their sake as well as yours get out of danger. If the house is in your name you can legally kick him out can't you? Please take expert advice and do the best for yourself and your children. None of you should have to go through this.

That's a great example of how to share an uplifting story. Hopefully that will encourage hometeachers. Thank you for that.

I tend to refer to all past prophets by their full name and the current prophet by his title. When Ezra Taft Benson was the living prophet I called him President Benson etc.But funnily enough I still refer to President Hinckley as President Hinckley.

Tough guys don't cry. Tougher guys are not afraid to admit that they do. :)

Have a lovely time. :)

Thank you so much for this thread. I have only ever read things before from an outsider's point of view on how they believe autistic people feel and react. This is the first time I have ever read what it is like from the autistic person's point of view. It has been a real eye opener and has helped me to understand people a lot better.

I would just suggest taking it a day at a time but if they ask direct questions then be honest with them although it may sometimes seem kinder not to. A friend of mine died of cancer about 18 months ago. She brought up her granddaughter who was then about 10 and when the child asked our Bishop if her Nanny was going to die he told her the truth. Of course she was heart broken and some people said he should not have told her but she asked him because no-one else would tell her.

I don't think we get as much variety here in UK. I've stuck with the same nylon mesh for years. That chemise style sound good. I am going to investigate if they do those here. I find it more comfortable to wear my bra over the top. I was so glad to be told to wear them that way when I was endowed 20+ years ago.

In every ward I've been not only have all teachers been given the manual but we've also had teacher development classes from it for the teachers. Maybe the fact that many of you don't get taught from it does explain the different views here.

Theoriginalavatar, I can understand some of what you are feeling but I cannot really relate to how hard it is when you know something like this in advance and have to try to prepare for it. How old are your children? Mine were 7 and 10 when their father died and although they seemed to accept and understand where he has gone I don't think they ever really have, particularly the youngest. The best you can do is just be there for them and don't be afraid to cry together. Even though you have a strong testimony of the eternal perspective it's OK to feel it seems unfair at times.