notquiteperfect

Either that or she was watching a really boring show on the television in her bedroom.  Doesn't matter... I always give people the benefit of the doubt.  Always.  It avoids so much needless friction in life.

So I did finally have a meeting with my Bishop - he is still fairly new, only in the position for about two months. And it turns out he knows my dad, they served in the same mission. 
 
He was wonderfully warm and kind, asked me how I believe I came to be inactive, we talked about that for a bit. And he said that he wants to meet with me regularly for a while, and that for a recommend it is required that he sees "a pattern of faithfulness" and that we will talk more as we go. 
 
I was so nervous before the meeting, of course I had no reason to be. Phew. 

Don't discount your voice!  Someone obviously needs to speak up so why not you?!  Honestly, I've taken matters into my own hands before (and am about to again).  I also brought up an issue with the ward council (mentioned the problem, offered a solution as well as my efforts to execute).  Things haven't necessarily been followed (I didn't expect perfection but now they know someone's paying attention) but at least I did something and am no longer just sitting there being bothered.  The environment is important and has an impact on reverence and the ability to focus on learning (it's even mentioned in Teaching, No Greater Call) so speak up and act (type up some signs!) until others get a clue.  You never know how many others have been thinking the same thing and would appreciate your voice for change. Consider it anonymous service!   :)

Don't discount your voice!  Someone obviously needs to speak up so why not you?!  Honestly, I've taken matters into my own hands before (and am about to again).  I also brought up an issue with the ward council (mentioned the problem, offered a solution as well as my efforts to execute).  Things haven't necessarily been followed (I didn't expect perfection but now they know someone's paying attention) but at least I did something and am no longer just sitting there being bothered.  The environment is important and has an impact on reverence and the ability to focus on learning (it's even mentioned in Teaching, No Greater Call) so speak up and act (type up some signs!) until others get a clue.  You never know how many others have been thinking the same thing and would appreciate your voice for change. Consider it anonymous service!   :)

I would love it if signs were up on doors in every room...just something simple like 'Please be sure to stack the chairs and leave the room clean and tidy' would be great. (oh, and don't wipe your snot on the church pews - thanks!'  would be good too)

Yes, I've met in a building with 4 wards (stake center as well so scheduling was extra tight) but we managed.  Honestly, it sounds as though it's high time people be reminded that it's the *Lord's House* and they should treat it as such.  They also need to be reminded about the commandment not to steal (not returning things is essentially stealing).  As far as cleaning up afterwards - the old adage to leave things better than you found them could be posted on every door.  I might chime in with more later but you get the idea.

Missions are not mandatory, any more than obedience, happiness, or exaltation are mandatory. But full-time missionary service is the duty of every young Priesthood holder, unless specifically excused.

I can understand why a 17 yo convert may need more time to wrap their head around the idea (and thus not go at 18) but yes, the obligation is the same for all able-bodied men (as far as I know anyway).  It is not uncommon for young men at this age to have reservations (whether convert or not) so I would suggest he talk to his bishop about it.  Furthermore, maybe he was prompted to join the Church sooner rather than later so he would have the chance to serve.  You never know!  Also, has he gotten his Patriarchal Blessing?  That could help with the decision as well.  Just a thought.

Yes, I've met in a building with 4 wards (stake center as well so scheduling was extra tight) but we managed.  Honestly, it sounds as though it's high time people be reminded that it's the *Lord's House* and they should treat it as such.  They also need to be reminded about the commandment not to steal (not returning things is essentially stealing).  As far as cleaning up afterwards - the old adage to leave things better than you found them could be posted on every door.  I might chime in with more later but you get the idea.

I can understand why a 17 yo convert may need more time to wrap their head around the idea (and thus not go at 18) but yes, the obligation is the same for all able-bodied men (as far as I know anyway).  It is not uncommon for young men at this age to have reservations (whether convert or not) so I would suggest he talk to his bishop about it.  Furthermore, maybe he was prompted to join the Church sooner rather than later so he would have the chance to serve.  You never know!  Also, has he gotten his Patriarchal Blessing?  That could help with the decision as well.  Just a thought.

I think you need to tell her, when you've been together for a while, you see a future, and you know you trust and love each other. Having been in this situation, I really appreciated my SO's honesty about this issue, and because we are committed to each other, we were able to overcome the negative feelings about it. It hurts a lot, and honestly it can be very hard to forgive someone who has had the issue in the past, but that's part of the Atonement: she will eventually, if she is the one for you, forgive you and your relationship will grow stronger because of that trial. 
I do also agree that there will always be the potential for relapse into that habit, so she has even more right to know, in case it does. 

Thanks notquiteperfect, I looked into the mission.net site after your post, idk why I didn't think of that before.

I met my fiance at a Games Workshop table-top gaming store. I went in to start getting into the model-building strategy-gaming help-my-nerdiness-has-maxed-out stream to try and find something good and positive to fill my time. I don't look it but I am a major gaming type, and grew up on good ole' monster movies and fantasy and sci-fi (being a computer major influences that as well!) I already had a friend there who'd known him for a couple years. At the time I was trying to date mormon guys exclusively, as I'd never really dated "my own species" and all my relationships had been... no so great (nothing too serious, just not very fulfilling and felt like chores).
So, here I was, hanging out with my future husband never even knowing it, trying to catch mormon guys. Sadly, I have "bro-complex", I go straight to the "bro-zone", which is great and I love being able to make friends whom with I can share advice and hobbies and opinions. But it definitely made it hard in singles ward. I don't strike as a typical mormon girl, never have. I was always eccentric. After one particular man I really had the eyes for ended up going for my friend, I decided it was time to take a break for a while. After all, I had plenty of school work to do, two jobs, and hobbies. I was busy anyway I supposed.
 
And then he struck.
 
See, my fiance knew the moment he met me that he wanted to have me forever. It was love at first sight for him. Despite him being my favorite human at the game shop (don't tell any of my other friends!) I didn't think I'd have romantic feelings for him. He came across as a bit surly, he was older, a diabetic, and wasn't in the best life situation.
But boy was I wrong!
 
He asked me how I felt about dating older guys. It's about a 10 year difference between us, which considering is really not that severe. Plus, most of the males I'd be pursuing at church were also older (I'm a bit older in my mind, and tend to click better with the generation before mine). I told him it was fine, but that I was a "relationship sea cucumber" as I was saving myself for either an eternal companion or dying alone with 30 cats. He said he was fine with that, and we could keep it casual. He just wanted to get to know me more personally than the game-store allowed.
 
The first day we saw each other after that, he brought me a single red rose. I'm no cheesy 19 year old girl, but I certainly felt like one. No one had ever in my life given me a flower before (besides dad, but dads don't count). I'd gotten so used to being the "son my father never had" and "the brother" amongst my friends I never really expected anyone could address me romantically. And the romance continued. We were still great friends, joking and sharing interests and having conversations, but every day he made the effort to make me feel loved. He told me many stories about his bad situations growing up, and he promised that he'd never let negativity stop him from making sure the women he cared for in his life felt cared for and protected. I was smitten.
On our second month anniversary, we were playing some games online with some friends, and he started talking to me in the private chat. He asked me if I'd ever thought of making us a permanent ordeal. It broke my heart, but I told him that I wanted to be married in the Mormon temple, and that if he couldn't provide that, we couldn't be a permanent pair.
 
We'd discussed religion a lot in the year we'd known each other, amongst our friends as well. He'd always been very inquisitive, and often defended my views when our friends got a little out of hand with the teasing. He believed in God, and that there was a reason he made it through everything he'd dealt with in his life. He explained to me, while I quietly whimpered to myself, that he believed God dragged him through the mud for a reason, and dragged me through the mud too (as I've dealt with a trial here and there, who hasn't). He said maybe this was the reason, and demanded I get him on the track.
We set up with the missionaries, and he hasn't missed a sunday of church since (even when I haven't been there). He's inquisitive, and curious about everything. He got baptized in December, and it was a wonderful ceremony. At first I was a bit skeptical of him (and who could blame me? It seemed too perfect) but I know through several temple trips and prayer that his heart is truly in the right place.
We're getting married this year, and it's been such an adventure. We're kinda unique in how we bounce off each other. We're a very comical pair, and many people (my parents and sister included) think we are very, very weird. But it's a perfect kind of weird. A weird I think God put together. Every mistake I've ever made fits perfectly into his. My friendships have made me understanding, and my experience with having a sick mother has made his diabetic fits an easy thing to handle. And he takes very good care of me as well.
 
Never underestimate what God can do, or try to limit the spectrum of whats possible. I'm not saying run out and "flirt to convert", but never be afraid to share what you have. I was always a "don't push your religion on others" type, happily living in my own little bubble around my friends who all respectfully did the same. Now somehow, I have this incredible and faithful man, and every moment is a blessing. It's so wonderful to watch him discover the gospel one page at a time, and to be by his side with it. It's incredible to talk about the future, and how we're going to overcome trials and be the best people we can be.
 
What a world

If you know/can figure out what mission your area was in at the time, there are facebook pages for different missions as well as sites like mission.net you can check.  Good luck and welcome!

Several years ago I became interested in ancient calendar while studying the Dead Sea Scrolls.  Anciently calendars were very important and involved much more than just the date.  Ancient calendars were used to determine who would officiate as a priest in the temple.  For example the date Zechariah was to be in the holy of the temple was determined by the ancient Hebrew calendar.   The significance of the birth of John the Baptist as well as the Messiah was coded into the ancient Hebrew calendar.  So are many other things that come from the ancient Hebrew calendar - such as the six gates to heaven through which the sun passes twice each year.  Though there were solar events tied to the calendar there were also lunar events as well. 
 
One of the most important events of the ancient Hebrew calendar was the beginning of the New Year.  This was also part of determining passover and other critical religious holy celebrations.  The first day of the new year was always a Sunday.  It was believed that this day had to correspond with the first or beginning of creation.  But the first day was determined the the first Sunday following the first new moon following the vernal equinox.   This method is still employed today to determine both passover and Easter.  Easter is interesting because it draws upon a number of ancient pagan calendars.  But the Hebrew calendar required that two expert witnesses must testify before a judge that they had observed the new moon as well as the vernal equinox.  Once the witnesses were made fires would be lit on hill sides on a Saturday night to signal or give the sign that the next day (Sunday) would begin the new year.  Until the sign (fire on a hill) was given the celebrations of the new year - that included a special feast - could not occur. 
 
There were problem when storms would move in at the end of the calendar year and obstruct the view of the moon and sun preventing the observations necessary.  So there was a saying concerning the Hebrew calendar when the question was asked when the feast of the new year would be.  The answer was in essence similar to a current saying of heaven only knows.  This is not that the sighs could not be observed but just that it was believed that G-d was in control of such thing and that G-d would bring such things about according to his plan - which may not always be understood by mankind.   Now as I was saying when storm brought clouds that would hide the sun and moon there was another saying that no man knew the hour or the day that the sign would be given - not even that angles of heaven but G-d only.  But this saying is translated literally in scripture even though Jesus was quoting a familiar ancient saying.  This is because the ancient experts were smart enough to figure out well in advance when the new year should be - but still could not testify until the proper events were observed.
 
It is my understand from studying ancient calendars that the true prophets of G-d as well as many of his saints will know and understand when the time draws near.  I believe they will know the hour and the day from understanding the prophesies and the signs that always testify of G-d and his workings.  That it is a misinterpretation of an ancient familiar saying that has confused many in not realizing that G-d does indeed reveal his works and plans to man in advance.  But sadly man is blinded by many things in the world that confuse the things of G-d.
 
I have said before that I am convinced that many will be surprised by how soon Jesus will come again.  As saints of the last days we should understand that the time is drawing near.  Not because I am saying these things but because of the many signs that are being fulfilled.   I am very sure that I personally will know the hour and the day at least 3 days before he come again.  And my saying 3 days should be a most interesting clue to anyone that reads the prophesies concerning the last days before Jesus appears again and shows himself as the king of his covenant peoples.

Last night while looking around for some material that I thought might inform my planned input to one of the current discussions on this site Google directed me to another LDS themed discussion forum. I read a few of the posts and was shocked to read how critical the posters were of other posters. After enjoying the friendly, good natured discussion on this site, it really was quite a surprise for me to see how unpleasant the posters were to each other on this other site. This experience renewed my appreciation for the thoughtful, well informed, friendly tone of discussion that prevails on this site. It made me feel grateful for people like Anatess, Vort, Pale Rider, Prison Chaplin, Mordurbund, Seminarysnoozer, Just a guy, the folk prophet, eowen, polarvortex, Jimmigerman, estradling and many many others. New as she is, I also enjoy and appreciate Claire’s well thought out and well written comments. And of course, I’m grateful to Pam for all that she does in moderating and maintaining this site, and the organisation she works for. 

Well, after a week of terror in which I was too frightened to return to this thread, I had a sudden burst of courage today and came back to read the remainder of everyone's comments.
 
Thank you all, your remarks were very comforting and encouraging.  Perhaps I can find my way back after all.  

A record of what?
Most of what they will miss really won't matter anyway.
Just my .02

Mordorbund likes getting compliments  and has an awesome profile picture   (Does that work  )
 
[edit] Maybe I should have said mordorbund likes people to talk about mordorbund  :)

Oooh!! OOOh!!!!  Do me next!!!

I think this also has something to do with the personality of different people. To some people debate is debate, and not personal. To some debate is conflict. To some debate is boring. etc... When you have all sorts of people coming together online it is really easy to misunderstand where a person is coming from and how they feel about things, it makes communication really hard. 
[edit]
I've notice for example that Eowyn doesn't like disagreement but shows great compassion, while Anatess will run right into the roil and not be phased. Vort tends to pick apart ideas and present them from another angle. The Folk Prophet is very willing to state bluntly what he thinks is right. Margin of Error is a bit unconventional, (he's? not been quite so active on the forums since i've been here, so idk him? very well). A small sample of people, but I think that the coming together of all of these people and perspectives is a beautiful thing. Pam is the almighty admin. And Palerider takes bribes ;P
and i tend to be more interested in the debate-ish threads....shame on me   

Not when casually dating but definitely before getting engaged.  It's only fair they know before making a serious commitment.

Excellent input already and agree with yacket about depression and/or an addiction possibly being the undercurrent of this.  Which leads me to wonder - is he happy with his job or anything else in his life?  I ask because it may just be that you and the church are the easier targets.  Also, this may be a rough patch but two months is hardly enough time to be wondering if you should 'give in and give up'.

Called on a less active Sister and I had the missionaries with me. We knocked on door and she opend it up and said.....come on in. I asked if she was sure she knew who we are....she replied yes..we went inside and visited. Her husband not a member was a over the road truck driver.
Long story short.....6 months later husband was taught the discussions and was baptized and they both are active today.

We point out the logical failures of your assumptions and how you could be wrong... and you leave in a huff...  So really who is the one with their panties in a bunch?