Misshalfway

You guys are so sweet! :) Could some pass me a tissue? Sniff sniff.

Hellooooo! From across the lake! I am in the US and I am waving! Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it here. Never a dull moment!

I love the scriptures too. I have been taught and reproved and instructed by them. And I am so amazed at how the Spirit can take a verse or event that happened so long ago, and somehow fit it perfectly to my circumstances. It is always a humbling and even exciting process.

I heard too that they have changed things to make the ordinance work move faster so more work can get done in less time. I think the Lord allows us a little flexibility as we learn and grow and become more aware of needs and issues. I know that I can go to the Lord with concerns and the Lord gives me ideas and direction for how to solve my problems or how I can improve my work. I think that this element of flexibility is something I love about this church. I don't see changes in doctrine. Only in practice.

I think that it is interesting, just as I examine my own prayers, how much I sometimes assume certain ideas as being completely true. I sometimes wonder when I talk to other members of the church. I sometimes see that my answers or insight are slightly different or maybe I see someone with more depth or insight and I wonder at my own lack there of. Anyway, I have been very concerned these last few years about discerning truth when I am reading something or hearing something to make sure that I anchor myself to the right things. Here is an example. It is probably not the best example but I will share it anyway. I was in a conversation with someone about anger. And I was told, with scriptures to back it up, that anger was of the devil and was not a characteristic of a follower of Christ. I was told that Christ never had anger. Never felt anger. And that even feeling anger was a sign of unrighteousness. Well, at first glance that looks really right to me. Anger can produce some really awful and destructive things. But the above description didn't feel complete to me. I was studying anger as part of my emotional recovery work and I learned how important anger is. And how essential it is to the make up of the psyche. I also learned what role anger was to play and how it can be a very valuable tool if used properly. I thought about it. I think that I have come to the conclusion that having anger isn't where the sin lies. It is in the choices we make about the anger we feel. Controlling our passions may be more important than suppressing them. My new theory is that controlled anger can actually bring about much good. I felt like HF was teaching me throughout my study. Teaching me to understand myself better. Teaching me not to punish my emotions but to meet them with kindness and wisdom. I read 2 Nephi 2 a lot. And tried to understand where the sin parts of anger fit into my thoughts and feelings. I read other scriptures too. I guess I just wanted to say that I think prayer and pondering is such a wonderful experience. I love these kinds of nuggets of wisdom. Perhaps I don't understand everything. My learning certainly isn't over. But I felt spirit open the eyes of my understanding. I guess I just wonder sometimes if we understand something and make the assumption that we understand everything about that thing, because of certain Spirit feelings. But then fail to inquire into further questioning. I think I love what happens when I allow myself to think outside my box and then let the Spirit fill in the blanks. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls. Jacob 4:13

Think I thought it was 22 not 222! Ha ha ha! Now you owe me a ream of paper, Mull!

It is prolly our fault. I think we forget sometimes that not everyone knows the mormon "lingo".

I went state-side for 18 months. There are hundreds of mission locations thru-out the world. The youth are encouraged to go as are older retired couples. My parents are leaving next year. There is a screening process and one must apply and then the church issues a mission call and tells you where you will serve. All missionaries are trained before they leave and for those going to other countries, language training is provided. There are different kinds of missions as well. Most missionaries are teaching people about the restoration of the gospel and working to teach and baptize any who will listen. Some are welfare or service missions. I know a couple that just got back from Cambodia where they helped with water projects and other medical efforts. Others also work at visitors centers located at many church history sites. All missionaries are dressed in suits or conservative dress and wear name tags. All leave their families and school/career pursuits and give full dedication to the effort. That is why a lot of BYU football players are older. They go on the mish and then come home to play.:)

What is your answer to this question?

Yellow, Do you have any concerns about doctrine or BofM? Or are your concerns confined to the historical details and chain//evolution of events?

So. You have done your research and it appears that you find more contradiction that substantiation. And I guess I am wondering what does God says to you about your findings? When you say more contradiction are you also referring to doctrine, scripture, and modern revelation? Are you also seeing any contradiction in your own experience with God and the Spirit and especially in your own obedience? And are you sure that you are relying on God to tell you the truth here or are you relying on your own judgement and the voice of doubt to determine that truth? Are you absolutely sure about this above statement? Are you absolutely sure that every person on the planet is asking the same question? Are you absolutely sure that everyone is even asking a question to begin with? Are you sure all of these people are even free to ask such a question or even have the proper exposure and education to proceed with such a journey? Are you sure that everyone on the planet is getting their answer from the same source? Are you absolutely sure that everyone would perceive the spirit the same way? Are you absolutely sure that God wouldn't lead people to truth in different ways and places and formats? Are you sure that every single soul is even in search of absolute truth? Look. I understand your argument. You are certainly not alone in how you feel right now. All, I know is my own experience. I can't know what your experience has or hasn't been with the Spirit of the Lord. And I can tell you, that the elements that make up my testimony are complex and layered. It is so much more than a singular and simple answer. It is comprised of a collection of answers to prayer-- even a pattern of answers, and then many fruits of obedience. My knowledge comes from hours in scripture study and continual pondering and additional prayer. It has come thru practical AND subjective experience -- good and not so good. My doubts and the imperfections of this work are folded in their too. Not all are answered. But they certainly don't add up to a majority. And more than not, the imperfections, while confusion at first glance, serve to make this work more of a miracle. It is a lot like the missionary effort. If the church weren't true the missionaries would have killed the work a long time ago.

Who amongst us doesn't have regret? Isn't it awesome how God takes our mistakes and fashions them into the fabric of what makes us wonderful? Good luck on your journey!!!

Sounds like to me you laid out the details with the B. Most likely the B talked to the SP. Perhaps that is why he asked the Y/N questions. He was searching to see the extent of your activities and for any red flags. Trust what happened in those offices. God knows your heart. He isn't scanning you looking for the tiniest of flaws and punishing you. You confessed. You were honest. Your effort is sufficient. Accept that and hand the rest of your sanctification over to the Lord. He judges in perfect wisdom and grace and patience and tender mercies. He is not some tyrannical dorm mother looking thru your soul condeming you. He is a soft place to fall. You have let go of your sin. Now it is time to let go of the shame. Close the book. Put it down. You never have to take it up again. God doesn't remember our sins, why should we? And if Satan is dredging up the old and bashing you with it, tell him to "GET THEE HENCE!"

If only I were as wise as you. I thought it stopped printing, but it just keeps going and going......

I have mixed feelings on this issue. It is something I have thought about a lot. Opposing such legislation from a religious perspective makes sense to me. But from a civic one, I feel more open to it. Most of all because of the famous phrase about the pursuit of happiness. I am not sure exactly how it impacts our society adversely. So many gay and lesbian people seem to add so much to our society. I don't understand same sex attraction fully. I can't relate to it. But I can see that keeping rights from certain individuals here in America seems like an inconsistency. And it is a source of difficulty and pain for those SS couples who may have issues that arise as a result of death or adoption. I am concerned that all in America be treated fairness regardless of respective belief systems. Having said that I am not sure I am comfortable with normalizing such relationships. I am concerned with the morality of the lifestyle and how such exposure might influence children and society. One question I have is why some oppose civil unions. Why is it so important to become married? Seems to me like an issue of semantics rather than rights.

I just printed it out. I think it used my whole ink cartridge. So, mullenite, you owe me one!

The very elect get instant jello! Something like that can really motivate a man. KWIM? ::wink::

Shut up about the horns, Moksha! No one is suppose to know!!!!!

What is the first rule of politics? Deny! Deny! Deny!

Morningstar, Your secret is safe with me! Hey Jenamarie? You ever heard of the Idaho*******?????....well.......::whisperwhisperwhisper::...

Sometimes I wonder what all of us would look like to each other if we knew every single detail of our respective histories!!!

I agree that it is a personal decision. I imagine that depending on circumstance I could go either way. If I had been attacked or believe that the likelihood of such were high, then you bet. I grew up with guns but they were always used for hunting. My father taught me to shoot along with all my brothers. It is valuable knowledge. But I wouldn't be comfortable with a gun in my current situation. My sons and their friends are fascinated by firearms. I am just sure something bad would happen. And so, I keep my house free of them. But then again, I live in a small town where the crime rate is incredibly low. I can't really say if you are making the right decision or not. I can see how some would see your preparations as hyper-vigilence and perhaps unnecessary especially if you live in a low crime area. But if you are away, and your wife is skilled, it might be very wise.

Amen! No doubt white shirt policies are a tremendous idea, but when all you have is an empty white shirt....what good is it??

I haven't read this thread. I don't know if I have the strength....or endurance...... I just wanted to say, that it IS grace that God gives us commandments and teaches us thru obedience. It is all grace. The works are inside of the grace. The opportunity to hold our own accountability is part of the grace too. Not to mention the love of a perfect parent.

It all started with pain. My marriage was in trouble. Addiction, denial, and betrayal was the core of it. A host of other troubles hit all at the same time. Health, relationships -- you name it. My life was on the rocks and my broken boat was sinking below the waves. I followed the mormon prescription for everything....I went to the bishop! Well, truth is I went to many over the years -- 6b's, and 2 SP's. Slowly getting the courage to explain the truth about my life and my H's addiction. When I did share pieces of the truth, I was told a variety of things. You don't love him enough. That was a goodie. And then this one, so brilliant -Fix things in the bedroom. When things were at their worst, my H was skating by in the eyes of the church. He was a HP and received a calling on the High Council. In the interview, I discovered more of my H's activities which horrified me. The SP said, well, lets just not tell anyone about that. Just one less person that has to forget. And the call was issued. I was beside myself with shock and outrage. I went back to the SP in private and told the truth about his activities and asked for help. He bascially told me I was lying. You see, my H was very good at the interview game. He could snow the best of 'em. And he was also good at throwing me under the bus when he needed to. That was the addiction talking of course. Well, that was kinda the last blow. It took me a while to get over it. I am still struggling with the chain of events that happened after that. Basically my life was falling apart in amazingly painful ways. I would pray and the heaven's seemed closed to me. No....locked! For a while, I just hung on. I was active and tried to serve. It was a white knuckling effort that I couldn't sustain. My strength was tapped, couldn't find a friend to save my life, the church was a dead end to me, my family was turning on me, and God didn't seem to care. Suddenly I didn't know anything anymore. What I thought was true, didn't seem to work anymore. The people I trusted, and offices I trusted failed me. Was there even a God? Where was he? Why wouldn't he answer? Are all these promises of healing just a big show? I was alone and I knew it. Well, I wasn't completely alone. Satan was there doing what he does best. I am afraid he had his way with me. I felt like I was in the middle of a mighty storm that no one could see and feel but me. And then, I started to feel the spirit. I started to feel led with small commands or promptings. Some where so very sweet and still bring me to tears. I decided to take a break from things. To take myself out of the church.....or maybe take the church out of myself and lay it all out in front of me. I decided I would only take back what was true. So, I started working it out. Piece by piece. I started with God. I needed to know if he was there and if he cared. Once I got that figured out, I started to trust again. I look back now, and I think that I understand better. I can see God's hand more clearly. I believe that God did indeed leave me alone with the adversary for a time. I can see that God was dismantling a very poorly constructed house. That deconstruction was so very painful and I felt every blow! But I also see that he has been rebuilding something sound and sure inside of me. It is slow work. And sometimes I fight the process....alright, most of the time I fight the process. :) But I am submitting to all of it. And trusting that it will all be for good somewhere, somehow. I can't really explain what has happened since. I am still in process. My testimony is strengthening. I love the scriptures more than ever. My preconceived ideas about the church and what it meant to be a mormon are gone. I don't know anything of perfection. I say that as I laugh! I seem to be so familiar with my weakness and weaknesses. It is a strange feeling to be so broken and feel so strengthen at the same time. Grace. That is all I can say. Grace. I am learning about the Savior in a way I have never known before. And I feel the words of Nephi..." I glory in my Jesus..." I was told by a good friend once about the shepherds in Jerusalem and the country round about the city. How they know each sheep...each new lamb by name and sound. And when one is lost or wanders away, they go and find them to bring them home. And sometimes the shepherd would break the legs of the lamb so it wouldn't wander again. And then carry the broken sheep on his shoulders and then heal them. During that process they learned of the love of the shepherd. And then learned his voice. And would not leave again. I don't know if that is true. But I think of that every time I see pictures of the Savior with the lamb around his shoulders. I wish I could say it was some bishop or HT or friend that loved me back. All I really know is that God is loving me back.