Excommunicated.

[Truegrits]

If people got ex'ed for not attended church, there would be no one there. ;p

Isn't that the truth.

[Lost_one]

Could you imagine if a church was like that. You would go on Sunday, look around. Hey guys, wheres the Bishop/Minister/Priest? Oh, he wasnt at church last week, so we kicked him out. Yeah, he tried to say he was ill, but thats no excuse. From next week, if you dont bow your head at a particular angle, your out. There will of course be someone walking around with a ruler to check. Oh, but he will be kicked out the week after, because, HE didnt have his head bowed at the right angle, when he was checking that everyone elses head was. And so on. Hehehe.

[Hemidakota]

Gotta love humor...that was a good one.

[SmilingRedhead]

Could you imagine if a church was like that. You would go on Sunday, look around. Hey guys, wheres the Bishop/Minister/Priest? Oh, he wasnt at church last week, so we kicked him out. Yeah, he tried to say he was ill, but thats no excuse. From next week, if you dont bow your head at a particular angle, your out. There will of course be someone walking around with a ruler to check. Oh, but he will be kicked out the week after, because, HE didnt have his head bowed at the right angle, when he was checking that everyone elses head was. And so on. Hehehe.

hahaha YIKES! I'm certainly glad it is NOT like that! :)

[WillowTheWhisp]

Perhaps the time of trying your patience will also be a time of you being able to grow stronger and to combat your weaknesses. None of us are perfect. That's why we have repentance.

Don't give up and I'm sure you will be rewarded.

[Lost_one]

Perhaps the time of trying your patience will also be a time of you being able to grow stronger and to combat your weaknesses. None of us are perfect. That's why we have repentance.

Don't give up and I'm sure you will be rewarded.

Thank you Willow. I have noticed that i am becoming stronger spiritually now. Although i was feeling pretty low, just after i got ex'ed. Satan had a good hold of me at that time. I will say though. Last week i was at work and i was praying. I got really upset and started to almost get angry at Heavenly Father. I told him alot of the stuff that was getting at me. I even told him that he could do what he wanted with me as i didnt care anymore. After a few days, i realised that, that is what he had wanted me to do. I feel so much more free and i love him even more now, if thats even possible.

[Snow]

Im not a member and probably never will be. I hope that you can allow me to be here and participate in your discussions. I will understand, if you wish to put restrictions on me and will gladly follow them. All i want is to be is part of the church and to talk to members. As i said, i will follow any restrictions you wish to impose.

Thank you

Lost_one

I'd respond to your post but I have standards - I don't talk to ex-Mormons, arsonists, vegans, Norwegians, or philatelists.

[pam]

I'd respond to your post but I have standards - I don't talk to ex-Mormons, arsonists, vegans, Norwegians, or philatelists.

And Snow is kidding. You have to understand his sense of humor.

[Lost_one]

I'd respond to your post but I have standards - I don't talk to ex-Mormons, arsonists, vegans, Norwegians, or philatelists.

I completely understand. I wouldnt talk to Norwegians either. Terrible people. Not the kind of people i would want around me. Bad bad people. Very judgemental as well and they also like to gossip. Im just telling you what i heard, but you can tell by just looking at them.

Thanks Pam. Yes i guessed it was a joke.

Edited June 21, 2008 by Lost_one

[pam]

I completely understand. I wouldnt talk to Norwegians either. Terrible people. Not the kind of people i would want around me. Bad bad people. Very judgemental as well and they also like to gossip. Im just telling you what i heard, but you can tell by just looking at them.

Thanks Pam. Yes i guessed it was a joke.

But...shhhhh...did Snow mention he is *gasp* Norwegian? It's a secret he hasn't told anyone...not even himself.

[Lost_one]

But...shhhhh...did Snow mention he is *gasp* Norwegian? It's a secret he hasn't told anyone...not even himself.

Its his own personal shame. I wont judge him. He may be Norwegian, but he cant be all bad.

[LostSheep]

Hi Lost One. I have the same problem. But I guess I'm too young to be ex'ed for it. (almost 18) I really admire you for wanting to change. I'm not going to lie...This sin is NOT an easy one to go "cold turkey" on. It will get harder before it gets easier. There will be times when you will want to go back to your old habbits more than anthing. Read your scriptures and pray often. It helps alot. Your not alone. This filth destroys more lives than any addiction on the planet. You are in my prayers Lost One.

[Lost_one]

Hi Lost One. I have the same problem. But I guess I'm too young to be ex'ed for it. (almost 18) I really admire you for wanting to change. I'm not going to lie...This sin is NOT an easy one to go "cold turkey" on. It will get harder before it gets easier. There will be times when you will want to go back to your old habbits more than anthing. Read your scriptures and pray often. It helps alot. Your not alone. This filth destroys more lives than any addiction on the planet. You are in my prayers Lost One.

Thanks LostSheep. Im actually in the recovery stage, but as with any addiction, thinking your over it is the first step to getting sucked back in.

People might not agree with this, but i do feel that addiction to porn is just as bad as addiction to alcohol or drugs. You never trully recover. Its always there. Forget that at your peril. I know my weakness. I also know the triggers. I just need to keep myself ahead of it and never let it get me again. As with alcoholics, one drink and there done for. Same with porn or any other evil.

[Snow]

Its his own personal shame. I wont judge him. He may be Norwegian, but he cant be all bad.

Guess I'm outta the closet now.

[Lost_one]

Guess I'm outta the closet now.

Its ok. They welcome anyone here. There not fussy.

[ruthiechan]

What is your job? Is it a public service job such as a fireman, policeman, hospital worker, pharmacy. . . anything like that? If it's a public service job then attending Church every other Sunday should be okay. If it's NOT a public service job my recommendation would be to look for another job, or try to arrange it with your current job, to be able to attend Church every Sunday.

Have you talked to your Bishop about your concerns? It's okay to talk to him before the year is up.

Are you attending the Addiction Recovery group in your area?

Do you pay tithing through someone else? I knew of one ex'd man who payed tithing through his sister as a way to show how sincere he was in keeping all the commandments of God. His sister even wrote a letter on his behalf. So, just something for you to think about.

Another idea is to visit the Temple nearest you, as often as you can. Seriously, just sit on the premises, reading your scriptures and contemplating. You will feel the Spirit strongly there and it will envigorate your soul.

Fast. I have fasting problems (gotta have soy milk every day or I start feeling sad for no reason, it's a physical thing that really sucks). So, what I do is fast for four hours after waking up for six days and BOOM. I've got my 24 hours of fasting and skipping breakfast is a sacrifice for me! I wake up hungry!

Also know, that you are no longer entitled to have the Spirit as your constant companion. As such, you have to work harder at having the Spirit with you. Satan will also work hard to keep you from returning to the fold and will prey upon your weaknesses with great fervor. Surround yourself with spiritual things. Sing your favorite hymns, watch wholesome movies - especially Church movies, read the scriptures. Other reading material Duty to God, Preach My Gospel, The Miracle of Forgiveness, the current Priesthood Manual (which you should be able to receive free from your ward), the Gospel Doctrine study guide, Our Heritage, Strengthening Families, and other good wholesome material. Call your home teachers, ask them for a blessing, find ways to be of service. Call your Priesthood leaders and see if there are any service projects going on that you might be able to help with. I promise doing these things will aid you in your baptism.

A wonderful which you can listen to at LDS Church Music comes to mind. I also shared it in someone elses thread today. I love this hymn.

336

School Thy Feelings

(Men’s Choir)

Resolutely

31243, Hymns, School Thy Feelings, no. 336

1. School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice control.

School thy feelings; there is power

In the cool, collected mind.

Passion shatters reason’s tower,

Makes the clearest vision blind.

[Chorus]

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice control.

2. School thy feelings; condemnation

Never pass on friend or foe,

Though the tide of accusation

Like a flood of truth may flow.

Hear defense before deciding,

And a ray of light may gleam,

Showing thee what filth is hiding

Underneath the shallow stream.

[Chorus]

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice contr

3. Should affliction’s acrid vial

Burst o’er thy unsheltered head,

School thy feelings to the trial;

Half its bitterness hath fled.

Art thou falsely, basely, slandered?

Does the world begin to frown?

Gauge thy wrath by wisdom’s standard;

Keep thy rising anger down.

[Chorus]

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice contr

4. Rest thyself on this assurance:

Time’s a friend to innocence,

And the patient, calm endurance

Wins respect and aids defense.

Noblest minds have finest feelings;

Quiv’ring strings a breath can move;

And the gospel’s sweet revealings

Tune them with the key of love.

[Chorus]

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice contr

5. Hearts so sensitively molded

Strongly fortified should be,

Trained to firmness and enfolded

In a calm tranquility.

Wound not willfully another;

Conquer haste with reason’s might;

School thy feelings, sister, brother;

Train them in the path of right.

[Chorus]

School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice contr

Text: Charles W. Penrose, 1832–1925. © 1948 IRI

Music: George F. Root, 1820–1895

Alma 38:12

Proverbs 16:32

Thoughts are very powerful. I love the book As a Man Thinketh. It's another way of saying what God has been saying all along when he said to let virtue garnish your thoughts unceasingly.

Edited July 2, 2008 by ruthiechan
To add a few things for more clarity.

[deydream]

The older I get, the more I can look back on my life and I see how my struggles and trials have led me in the directions I was meant to go. Sometimes we are meant to learn in long-suffering, or be tried or tested. Some things don't seem fair, and we don't know the reasons why.

Don't give up on going to church. You will be blessed for trying. Maybe your current struggles will strengthen you and prepare you for something ahead. Heavenly Father doesn't take our trials away, instead he will uplift and strengthen us so that we can get through them. But you have to ask him.

My brother had wanted to go on a mission, but his bishop wouldn't let him put in his papers. There was no good reason for it. At first I was upset. Eventually there was a new bishop, and he got his papers ready. Unfortunatley by that point, he no longer had a desire to serve. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you. Don't give up hope, though. The right path is never easy.

I have found that when something is delayed, it is only to give me time to get something else taken care of first, or it is to lead me in a different direction from what I had expected. You will be blessed if you keep trying to go to church, keep reading your scriptures and praying. In several years from now, you may even be able to look back at the path you were lead, and see what vital things you would have missed otherwise.

Climbing uphill can be very difficult, but the view from the top is priceless. Just keep climbing, the top isn't as far as it seems.

[Lost_one]

@Ruthiechan: I do intend to get another job in October. Im under contract till then. Im a Security Guard and must work Weekends. Its part of the contract.

Thank you for the song. I have the Hymn book on CD so can listen to any song in it. I sometimes put it on, really low, at bedtime and just let the music and voices wash over me as i fall asleep. Its a really great way to drift off.

@deydream: I totally understand your brothers feelings, i must admit to almost walking away a few times. My testamony keeps me from doing that.

I spoke to my Bishop last Sunday and explained everything to him, but he wont budge. He's now telling me that, even when he says yes to my re-baptizm, i still need to then get the Stake Presidents permission AND then the First Presidences permission. Ive got a very long road ahead it seems.

[prospectmom]

I so appreciate your honesty and know all will work out for you if you continue to keep moving forward taking steps no matter how small will get to your goal . I feel its odd I can say all these things to you when I am in such a very negative place. I know with all my heart you are loved and your progress is noted and the Bishop is sure to see , sometimes it takes talking to someone in the Stake Presidency to get your cause forwarded. You are going to do great things...... belive

[Lost_one]

I so appreciate your honesty and know all will work out for you if you continue to keep moving forward taking steps no matter how small will get to your goal . I feel its odd I can say all these things to you when I am in such a very negative place. I know with all my heart you are loved and your progress is noted and the Bishop is sure to see , sometimes it takes talking to someone in the Stake Presidency to get your cause forwarded. You are going to do great things...... belive

Im sorry to hear that your in such a negative place. Although, as you said to me. You are loved also and are being used to strengthen others, for our Heavenly Father. I thank you for allowing him to help you, help me.

One other thing that i did when i was at church on Sunday was pick up the church calendar. I was going to contact the Stake Presidency in order to get a copy of my ex'ed letter, so i can get a copy to my Bishop. Im preparing myself for a long hard road, But i will get there, with support from good people.

[bytor2112]

You can usually be eligable for re-baptism after 1 year....if you have abandoned the sin and showed a "mighty change of heart". If you have and your Bishop won't budge, see your Stake President. Your Bishop seems way out of line to me. If you are living worthy, do what ever it takes to rejoin the fold, move to another ward or stake. Your Bishop is still a man and capable of making a mistake.My neighbor is a former SP and told me that lots of times Bishops can be to "letter of the law, when sometimes they need to be more spirit of the law."

[Kalola52]

In reading through this thread, a question came to mind. What happens if someone passes on before they have met all requirements to be re-baptized?

[Misshalfway]

Hello lost one.

Welcome to the site. I suppose we are all a big family....a big dysfunctional family! :lol:

As I have read your thread, I have the same question as others. Why two years? I know I don't know the details, but from my experience, getting recovering PA's on their feet and feeling the Spirit in their lives helps more than holding off on badly needed blessings because of technicalities. Hmmmm. And only talking to the bishop once a year doesn't seem like the program I have seen. Most repentant PA's meet with their bishops frequently if not weekly. When a person is baptized they are clean every whit and a clear indication that forgiveness is there. So, why two more years for priesthood and temple? It just doesn't seem right that he would put you on an immediate probation after membership is restored. I know the church used to be very hard for this kind of thing, but it seems the more they learn, the more compassionate and encouraging they are being. Perhaps your bishop is less informed about newer approaches.

I am also wondering what recovery program seems to be working for you. I know that the 12 steps are quite effective, especially the LDS version.

[Lost_one]

Hello lost one.

Welcome to the site. I suppose we are all a big family....a big dysfunctional family! :lol:

lol Isnt that the truth?

As I have read your thread, I have the same question as others. Why two years? I know I don't know the details, but from my experience, getting recovering PA's on their feet and feeling the Spirit in their lives helps more than holding off on badly needed blessings because of technicalities. Hmmmm. And only talking to the bishop once a year doesn't seem like the program I have seen. Most repentant PA's meet with their bishops frequently if not weekly. When a person is baptized they are clean every whit and a clear indication that forgiveness is there. So, why two more years for priesthood and temple? It just doesn't seem right that he would put you on an immediate probation after membership is restored. I know the church used to be very hard for this kind of thing, but it seems the more they learn, the more compassionate and encouraging they are being. Perhaps your bishop is less informed about newer approaches.

To be honest, i really dont know why. I am going to write an email today, to my Stake President, as like you, i feel that there is something not quite right. Im also stumped as to why im only getting to see him once a year. I didnt want to turn this into a thread, where i bash my Bishop, But i do feel that he is being over hard on this and really isnt showing any love, if truth be told, he is being quite cold towards me. I spoke to a friend who has known my Bishop for over 40 years and served with him the last time he was a Bishop. This was a long time ago. At least 20 years. This has made me think that, this is where my Bishops thinking might be coming from. As you said, the church used to be hard on this kind of thing. Maybe he thinks, they still are. I think my best bet is to contact the Stake.

I am also wondering what recovery program seems to be working for you. I know that the 12 steps are quite effective, especially the LDS version.

Im not using a program. I simply recognised that i had a problem, understood why it was, not only wrong, But also the damage it did to those around me. Once i understood that the issue was bigger than, just me, i had no option but to give it up.

Sorry if that isnt really helpful, but its what i have done. I would have loved to have done a church program. It seems ive got into the habit of fixing things on my own.

Hope that made sense.

[Misshalfway]

I am glad you are writing the SP. I would be knocking his door down. This bishop doesn't sound like someone who has dealt with PA and the complex struggles and needs that recovery brings. It seems to me that in the last 10 yrs the leaders have either been too hard or too soft. I like where things seem to be heading now.

Whatever you have done in your life to change your compulsions, I must admire. It takes a great deal of effort on multiple fronts and I am glad you are finding success. I never take anything for granted when it comes to addictions of any kind. Weakness for such things can come at any time and after long periods of sobriety. Would you consider a church 12 step now? For maintenance purposes? No one should have to walk such a difficult road alone. You can get the manual online at LDS.org and even see if there are meetings in your area. One of the steps is to reach out and help others. I bet you could really make a difference to others. I know lots of communities have SA or PA 12 step programs if the church doesn't have anything where you live. Too bad your bishop isn't encouraging this program. Perhaps you could mention it to your SP.