Grateful for growing up poor

[mcdoodle]

Is anyone else feeling this? I grew up extremely poor. My mother and grandmother knew how to do anything...and I mean ANYTHING. If they didn't know, we popped off to the library to get a book to learn how. As an adult, I've had more money than my parents had and so have had more luxuries.

Recently, my income has been cut, and the struggling economy has made this hurt a bit more than it might have. I have no extra money for anything until payday in a week and a half. My son started school and needs new uniforms, of course. He's 9 and is wearing a 12 snugly, and not just at the waist...the pants are barely covering his ankles!! Thankfully, I had some size 14 pants that I bought at a garage sale at the beginning of summer. So, I cut them off and hemmed them up to make shorts for him.

I started thinking, how wonderful my childhood had been despite economic hardships, and how well my mother had trained her daughter for such things. Most young women I know have NO IDEA how to do such a common thing as hem up pants, cook, or any other simple task women used to be prepared for. My cousin was amazed and said, "They look like they came from the store!" She was raised on department stores, restaurants and dry cleaning. She still calls me for instructions on how to do the simplest things! This little family crisis has really made me appreciate mothers who bother to teach their daughters (and sons!) how to function independently. I really hope to have more money than my family had growing up, but I still really plan on stressing such seemingly unimportant, semi-forgotten 'old-fashioned' skills, especially for my daughters.

[Misshalfway]

I agree with you mcdoodle. My father was always very resourceful and still is. He has been teaching my boys a few things and I am so grateful.

I am buying some school clothes and feeling very grateful for hand-me-downs. My son's backpack is ripped and I am showing him how to sew it up rather than get a new one. He isn't so jazzed, but maybe someday he'll we see the underlying blessing.

Thank you for sharing this insight because no matter how much money we make these principles are always applicable.

[NeuroTypical]

Fix it up, wear it out, make it do or do without!

Ditto.

[utcowboy]

I had to laugh the other day when a gentleman came to ask me for help with a problem he was having and he saw me doing some work that was outside my normal field. He asked me all surprised like how it was that I knew how do what I was doing. (minor carpenter work, I'm an electrician by trade). I told him that in my family growing up, you either built it yourself or you repaired it, basically did whatever it took to get the coon. Or you went without... Now remember I'm the spoiled one in my family so my brothers and sisters are alot better at this then me and I know that I can call them and ask all the questions I want.... well at least until I annoy them completely. :)

[Iggy]

Oh My, here you four are in your mid to late thirties and you all grew up with the Waste not, want not - - Fix it up, wear it out, make it do or do without! mind set.

I am in my late 50's and I was raised the same way. We were not dirt poor, we were lower middle class poor.

We had new shoes and socks every school year. That was it pretty much in the NEW clothes department.

Mom took hand me downs from neighbors and relatives and made them into new clothes for us 7 kids. When her baby brother married the rich city girl, the Bride gave Mom all of her cashmere sweaters, wool skirts and fancy suits. Mom cut them down to fit my sister and myself. One wool, wrap around plaid skirt made two wrap around skirts and two vests for two little girls- I was in the first grade and sister was in Kindergarten.

Her camel coat made coats for sister, myself and bunting for baby sister- who was not quite a year old.

Mom shrunk the sweaters that didn't fit the two older sisters, so that they would fit us little kids.

My favorite blouse was made from Mom's brother's (older of the boys, buy still younger than Mom) too small dress shirt. He wore a size 21 neck and this shirt was a 20. It was super pale blue on pale blue. She made me a long sleeved blouse and my next little sister a short sleeved blouse. Mine had old lace on it, Sister's was plain. I wore that blouse until I burst it at the seams!

Daddy taught us girls how to turn collars, to shorten or lengthen sleeves and to hem his work/dress shirts. He hated the curved hems, he preferred the straight hems. So we would cut off the curved part and use that to lengthen his sleeves. Dad had longer than normal arms, and long sleeved shirts were nearly always too short on him.

He also taught us how to take apart an old sweater, save the yarn and then Grandma would knit us stockings or mittens or a shawl with the yarn.

We also took old towels, tore them into strips, braided them and then Grandma would make them into rugs. Towel rugs for the bathroom and kitchen. We did it with left over fabrics that were heavy too- like broadcloth. Those were made into area rugs.

Mom bought a particular brand of 100 lb flour for the bag it was in. Those bags were are pillow cases, aprons and underwear! Yep, undershirts and panties- made by Mom and Grandma.

My first pair of store bought panties with the elastic on the legs were bought when I graduated out of the 6th grade into Jr High School. I HATED them. The elastic made me itch, and I kept tugging them down.

Also I was cold in them. I was used to the knickers Mom made me. Not to the knees knickers, but with more leg than store bought, plus there was NO elastic in the legs. Only on the waist.

Dad also made me my stockings, knitted them. They were leggings, wool. I was a freezy cat and had to have heavy stockings, below the knee skirts, long sleeved blouses and/or sweaters.

When we had fried chicken for dinner, the next night we had chicken bone soup. Same with ham, or beef roast. Always got the picnic ham so we would have the bone, and the roast had a bone too - or if Mom got to the Butcher early in the week, she could get a good knuckle bone for soup.

Lunch meat was not some store bought, sliced, prepared mystery meat. It was left over roast or ham. Ground up with the hand meat grinder that attached to the edge of the kitchen table, with dill pickles, onions, celery ground up in it and held together with miracle whip. Spread on home made bread.

Bologna was not pre-sliced, it came in a loaf. Round loaf, and solid. Mom always ground it up. Went farther that way. Added celery, onions and dill pickles and Miracle whip of course. Sometimes she would add a dash of mustard or horseradish.

When clothes got holes in them the holes were patched, darned or if the hole or tear was too big to mend, then the buttons, snaps, zippers were removed, saved and the torn/damaged garment was either made into a piece of clothing for a smaller person, or shred into rug making material, or quilt pieces or rags.

The only thing that got thrown away from the get go was the feet of the chickens and the pigs squeal. Everything else was used & reused till it was no more.

[pam]

I had to laugh the other day when a gentleman came to ask me for help with a problem he was having and he saw me doing some work that was outside my normal field. He asked me all surprised like how it was that I knew how do what I was doing. (minor carpenter work, I'm an electrician by trade). I told him that in my family growing up, you either built it yourself or you repaired it, basically did whatever it took to get the coon. Or you went without... Now remember I'm the spoiled one in my family so my brothers and sisters are alot better at this then me and I know that I can call them and ask all the questions I want.... well at least until I annoy them completely. :)

Hey UT...I need some electrical work done.

[WANDERER]

Yes to

*unpicking and winding wool for jumpers...curly wool.

*recyled clothes for making new clothes, buttons and zips always collected and my mother even recyled the cotton sewing thread if it wasn't worn and passed the snap test.

*no to most new clothes...sometimes school uniforms were bought if secondhand or material was hard to obtain.

*yes to bone soup (stock) etc.

*my mum believed that little girls should learn how to sew (hem and buttonhole), crochet, knit, darn and embroider (etc) all before the age of eight if you were well brought up. *I have no idea...but that's what we did*.

*poor as in no washing machine or fridge poor...it's surprising how much you can manage without.

There are many things I am grateful for both about being poor and not being poor. I don't glamorise it...hungry is not fun. However frugal is a good skill to have. And I guess experience.

Edited August 13, 2008 by WANDERER

[BenRaines]

I remember growing up with a wringer washer. The machine would wash the clothes and then we would wring them out with the wringer and rinse them in the cement double sink and then wring them out again before hanging on the line to dry.

We didn't go to the butcher. We had cows, pigs, rabbits, chickens, sheep that we raised and ate. Made our own butter from cream, our own milk from cows, etc.

We were poor but had a great life.

Ben Raines

[Heavenguard]

Hm, I've grown up as middle class as you could get, but I am still baffled by many of my peers and their ineptitude at everyday things. And not just their ineptitude, but also their "princess" attitude towards household chores, work, and general "pitch-in"ness. I'm glad my parents raised me to be someone that can take care of herself.

I can cook, clean, sew, use power tools, put together a computer and the like. Meanwhile, while camping over the last weekend, my friend wouldn't eat the granola bars I'd brought because they weren't the "right brand". *rolls eyes*

I don't think it's so much growing up poor or with money, it's about how much your parents spoil you. Of course, when you have less means to do so, the not spoiling gets a lot easier. But gosh darnit, with families having more money in this generation, I genuinely fear having to work with the next crop of "entitled" young people in the next 5 - 10 years, and the state of society and the economy following then.

[Truegrits]

I remember growing up with a wringer washer. The machine would wash the clothes and then we would wring them out with the wringer and rinse them in the cement double sink and then wring them out again before hanging on the line to dry.

We didn't go to the butcher. We had cows, pigs, rabbits, chickens, sheep that we raised and ate. Made our own butter from cream, our own milk from cows, etc.

We were poor but had a great life.

Ben Raines

DITTO...(almost)

We had cows, chickens, hogs, and horses. We had a smokehouse and an outhouse. My sister and I gathered eggs from the barn, and milked cows. We always had plenty of food, and Mama made the most beautiful dresses. We had a happy and blessed upbringing.

[Kapeenee]

Early in my childhood, I grew up dirt poor. I remember eating out of the neighborhood trash can. My parents were alcoholics. Although my dad was able to work somewhat, my mom was not a functioning adult. Most of my memories of her are of her being passed out on the couch. People found out and I was put in many foster homes.

After my dad a brother were killed I moved in with family who had money. I remember looking in the fridge and being amazed at all of the food. I came up with a plan to not eat much so that the food would not go away. I was 7. I was given all sorts of things. I had motorcycles, horses, toys, clothes. My physical needs were taken care of. I work hard and was given $40 month allowance. However, my emotional needs were not met, and the abused I endured was horrific and I ran away at 16.

I found a home at 17 with a family that had 8 children. I needed to get a job and buy the things that I needed. Clothes, personal items, fun stuff. But I really had no concept of $.

At the age of 19 I had won a settlement and spent it all in a matter of months. I married and we struggled finacially. I learned how to cook on $25 a week. I felt very proud of myself.

A few yrs later we were debt free and bought a home and had started a savings...then my husband lost his job. Our income went down $40,000!

We are still struggling and have had another job loss since 2002. But I am extremely frugal and am thankful that I have learned a few things. My frugality is almost a hobby of mine now.

Things manage to work out, so I am trying to relax a bit more.

I have some great frugal websites I frequent...can I post them here???

[breeb]

Wow, I was raised in the city and dont know how to do a darn thing. It sure would be helpful right now though. We were definatley on the poor side. I remember going to school in baggy clothes. I know my gma was extra careful with plastic wrap and foil so she could reuse it. She kept every container because she hated throwing anything away.

[MorningStar]

That's awesome that you see the benefits of growing up poor! Very good attitude.

[Misshalfway]

Maybe it isn't 'growing up poor' this is the principle of value....because picturing little curly headed Kap fishing thru garbage cans doesn't exactly inspire me.

I think that the principles of gratitude and frugality and resourcefulness can and should be applied at every rung on the economic ladder. I think it is our over-indulgence that gets us into trouble and the belief that "stuff" and "status" makes us better.

I remember a friend of mine was telling me about his son and his complaining comparisons between their little house and used car and the neighbors with the square footage and the jet skis. "Dad, why aren't we rich? It isn't fair!" This wise father said, "We are rich! We have everything we need."

[breeb]

I dont know how many of you have seen the show My Super Sweet 16. It makes me sick. These bratty teens expect $50,000+ cars and parties in the $100,000's. My H and I have decided that even if we become billionares, we will NEVER do that. Its not doing them any favors in life. If anything it limits them.

[funkymonkey]

I dont know how many of you have seen the show My Super Sweet 16.

Yeah, those kids are seriously MONSTERS.