Oh for crying out loud, take your kid out of the chapel.

[Misshalfway]

So large families with perfect children are wonderful and small families with young loud ones are not? Or maybe we should ONLY have large families IF they behave perfectly every Sunday so no one is inconvienced or disturbed. Large loud families.....do they get the same label?

Could it be that what you observe are seasoned parents vs. new ones? Could it be that the more seasoned ones had Sunday's just like the young ones? Could it be that the ones who are louder are more emotionally free? Could it be that the "well behaved" ones end up in therapy?

I don't mean to pick on you Hemi, it is just that sentiment like this is what makes mormon culture sometimes very very hard to swallow.

[Misshalfway]

I really do love ya to death Hemi. It is the sentiment that has me turned over.

[Elgama]

I have 2 fairly well behaved children in sacrament meeting, but to be honest not sure I would cast judgement on parents who didn't take their children out, it maybe their instincts say its better no too. I had my daughter at 4 behaving perfectly at sacrament most weeks, when we had new families join with less well behaved children and she went off the rails a bit lol - now she is probably the loudest again but we are working on it -

I am very, very fortunate to have had my first in a small branch that whatever other faults it has truly cherish's and encourages its children because they have had time without them. My kids can wander round at sacrament meeting and visit other people who play with them, cuddle them and help me care for them., if my kids play up I am offered help no dirty looks, no judgement.

Having said that on other aspects of parenting I find church the most unsupportive, I get most negative comments at church than anywhere else, have just learned to keep my mouth shut and let my kids behaviour speak for themselves, this is compared to in the general out and about with them where they are praised for their excellent behaviour generally, I find when they are not they are about to be ill

My daughter does have some problem she displays autistic tendancies before she has a seizure but outside of that time her behaviour I feel is great, but church is my children's biggest challenge behaviour wise for a start naptime has always occured during church time ect

Parents get tired, burned out, unsure what to do, Sunday can be a lousy day for a family getting ready to go out, my first reaction would be to offer help, distract the kids ask would they like to sit with us, play with our toys etc and maybe to offer to help take child out. Some children are easier to get to sit still than others, with others it takes time, and quite frankly advice from well meaning experienced parents was not what cracked it with mine - it was advice from my then amazing but childless branch president, he suggested merely i take them out, let them do what they would like to do, take toys etc and sit as though I was attending sacrament myself, it worked a treat my daughter did 2 weeks of this then one day took herself back into Sacrament and was wonderful. She is struggling again right now but we have had weeks of the behaviour that usually happens right before a seizure, then she had a proper one.

-Charley

Edited December 9, 2008 by Elgama

[Hemidakota]

it is the parent that needs more training in teaching children on how to behave. Both my wife have learned this principle that the chapel is a no different than a Temple. If our children are not behaving, we will take turns in removing that child so others can focus on what is being presented. Overtime, none of my children after learning this simple principle, do behave in the chapel area as they respect the walls of the temple.

[Elgama]

Yesterday was F & T meeting. The first hour was all children. I asked the primary secretary seated next to me if Primary was canceled on F & T? She looked at me kind of funny, then I said - is that why the primary kids are giving their testimonies - you don't allow them to do it during Sharing Time like they should be?

.

Whats wrong with this? we tend to find with YW. YM and Primary one gets up they all want to, I think its lovely to hear from the younger members of our church..

-Charley

[Misshalfway]

it is the parent that needs more training in teaching children on how to behave. Both my wife have learned this principle that the chapel is a no different than a Temple. If our children are not behaving, we will take turns in removing that child so others can focus on what is being presented. Overtime, none of my children after learning this simple principle, do behave in the chapel area as they respect the walls of the temple.

I am glad it worked out so well for you. I really am. I just think that parents have different styles of parenting. Or maybe one Sunday you see them experimenting with a different approach. You , in all of your seasoned wisdom, may know it won't work. But we each have little "individuals" to raise and each have to discover in our own way and in our own time.

[TheyCallMeMom]

I think there may be confusion in what a kid being a kid and making a bit of noise, and being completely rude and disruptive

I was told my first Sunday not to worry if the baby fussed etc..we need to stay in Sacrament.. but when my 2 year old screamed no and threw a book he decided he no longer wanted we went and sat in a chair in the mothers room till he realized that was not what he wanted to be doing.

I have seen several small children misbehaving, running up the aisle... recently while the parent is off in their own world.. playing with his cell phone

those are the children, rather parents, who I think the complaints are about. we all know kids make noise, even when sitting perfectly quiet :)

[BenRaines]

I agree Hemi. Elder Oakes stated in his last conference talk that Sacrament meeting is the most sacred meeting outside the temple and like unto the temple. We should prepare to go to Sacrament meeting as we would to go to the temple.

Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament

Sacrament meeting is not a place to rush to in the morning, arrive late and spend the hour plus messing around like you were in the car on a long drive.

Ben Raines

Edited December 9, 2008 by BenRaines

[Wingnut]

Also, I'm kind of bothered by the amount of judgement against parents that has come out in this thread. I admit that my kids aren't the best behaved kids in Sacrament meeting, and more often than not one of us ends up out in the foyer with one of them for being unruly, but it is NOT for a lack of trying. Little kids have agency too, and I can teach and teach and teach, and enforce the rules, and try to make Sacrament as entertaining as possible for a 2 and 4 year old as I can (and for myself! I've sat through more than one mind-numbingly boring Sacrament meeting), but in the end it's up to them to use their little minds to CHOOSE to listen to those lessons and obey those rules that my husband and I have set up, and, being so young, and being in such a not-kid-friendly place, it's a difficult choice for them to have to make. Especially when the far more entertaining options of Primary and Nursey appear to be just outside those double doors.

But the point is that you take your kids out of the chapel when they're disruptive. I don't think anyone here is complaining about unruly children, or about the fact that children are loud in Sacrament meeting. The complaint is when the parent(s) sits by and does nothing, thus disrupting everyone's Sacrament experience.

[checkerboy]

Well I suppose I'll weigh in here. It is interesting to see everyone's differing views. I suppose I used to get annoyed too before I had kids. Now that I am a single dad I find it sometimes very difficult to try to keep my boys from fighting while still trying to listen to the speakers.

I totally understand that different people have different parenting styles as well. I am sure I am one of those that Pam would absolutely hate. In fact I am pretty sure she wanted to strangle my boys when we all got together in SLC. It isn't that I like them to run rampant, but that sometimes I just can't do everything. I usually try to find the balance between not having to chase them and not letting them bother other people though.

[RachelleDrew]

I think there may be confusion in what a kid being a kid and making a bit of noise, and being completely rude and disruptive

I was told my first Sunday not to worry if the baby fussed etc..we need to stay in Sacrament.. but when my 2 year old screamed no and threw a book he decided he no longer wanted we went and sat in a chair in the mothers room till he realized that was not what he wanted to be doing.

I have seen several small children misbehaving, running up the aisle... recently while the parent is off in their own world.. playing with his cell phone

those are the children, rather parents, who I think the complaints are about. we all know kids make noise, even when sitting perfectly quiet :)

Exactly.

A baby cooing, a kid whining and rolling around in their pew or a couple of teenagers giggling isn't what i'm talking about here. I understand that human beings aren't meant to be perfectly quiet and still. When that stuff is going on I can still hear and I typically don't notice it.

But when a couple of kids are jousting near where i'm sitting i'm going to get pissed. My toddler is sitting there and could have gotten hurt by their horseplay. I think i'm perfectly in my right to pass judgement here.

Hearing them scream and act like trolls bothers me because i'm still a somewhat new convert and have a lot to learn. So when I can't hear the message, i'm missing out on information that I really need. It's frustrating to me because I feel like I can't get what i'm coming to church for in the first place because of others.

Let me be fairly clear here that the two who were jousting were older. By older I mean around 5th grade or so.

Now i'm not very intelligent in general, and I didn't have a very good home life growing up. So why is it that I can understand that loud children are annoying and other parents cannot?

[Truegrits]

I find it sometimes very difficult to try to keep my boys from fighting while still trying to listen to the speakers.

My nephew often has to sit between his two sons. If that doesn't stop it, one of them is moved next to Papa and Nana...that does stop the fighting/bickering!

[TheyCallMeMom]

My nephew often has to sit between his two sons. If that doesn't stop it, one of them is moved next to Papa and Nana...that does stop the fighting/bickering!

we often do the same

the 4 year old boy and the 3 year old boy NEVER sit side by side during sacrement

[ADoyle90815]

Obviously, a baby cooing or a child giggling is not "noise" at all, as one could still hear the speaker in church over that. It's the 2 year old who is having a tantrum that causes a distraction, or the child running down the aisles bumping into those passing the sacrament items. Most churches have a separate cry room where the service can be heard through speakers, yet nobody is distracted by a tantrum. Unfortunately, not all parents are teaching their children how to behave in church or in restaurants.

Edited December 9, 2008 by ADoyle90815

[BenRaines]

Maybe I could go to the cry room and listen to the meeting. I could put my feet up, come dressed in my sweats and make sure they bring me the sacrament to where I am.

If they could just get Sacrament meeting on Direct TV I could watch it from home like General Conference. :)

Ben Raines

[applepansy]

For years I often took our four children to church meetings my myself. I tried my best to keep them respectful and I think they learned well. But they always behaved better when their Dad was there too.

Two weeks ago I was too sick to go to church. My husband went alone and sat in back alone. He watched two familes with small children. One was mom (Dad is inactive) and three rambunctious kids. The other was Dad (Mom had to work) and they have six children. The four youngest are under 8. WOW!!! To make a long story short. . .

My hubby came home and apologized to me for not being there with us every sunday.

applepansy

[Avrham]

I have 2 boys 3/5 yrs they like to walk with the priesthood when giving sacrament they don't do anything but follow them around some people just stare/look puzzled the Bishop just sits their and smiles at me he informed me few weeks ago that he has no issue with the boys"They march like little soldiers " its interesting how parents react/don't react my daughter always uses peer pressure on the boys if they decide to play up shes only 8 but tries too help me/mum with the boys especial at sacrement but majority of kids are typical loud mouths when they want to be I have found that parenting for me is about instead of reacting to something but being more pro-active towards my kids and kids in general

I have my wife too thank for that MO she made me realise its "How the parents react to the kids" I always remember to be practical with my actions including those "silly moments" especially towards my kids and any one elses kids its a lot harder to do than say but thats the fun part