What I hate about hospitals

[Misshalfway]

I think we need a forum for nonsense.....but since we don't, I will place this silliness here.

STUFF I HATE ABOUT HOSPITALS, By Misshalfway (curtsie)

1. I hate it when they can't find a vein!!!!!!!

2. I hate it when they come to your room at FOUR IN THE MORNING to draw blood. Why exactly do they come at four in the morning?????? Brilliant.

3. I hate it that they come EVERY SINGLE NIGHT of your stay to draw blood at four in the morning. Why can't we just take a big bucket full and do it once! for crying out loud.

4. I hate it when the medical students come to ask your medical history........AT FOUR IN THE MORNING!

5. I hate it when your nurse gives you morphine and you say, "Thank you dear, but I do better with Delauded" and then your nurse gives you three doses of morphine anyway and then you get a migraine headache and throw up and want to say cuss words.

6. I hate it when you then say to your nurse, "Dude, I got this real bad headache from the morphine" and he cocks his hip and says "Well, what do you want me to do, put a cloth on your head" and then you want to threaten his manhood.

7. I hate it when you ask for the sleeping meds the doc said you could have and the nurse says no and then comes back 15 minutes later and says "sorry, here you are. I forgot to read your orders.

8. I hate it when you have to take the dreaded "Golightly" to clean out your bowels and your doctor says that you can do it in the morning at 8am but your nurse reads the orders wrong and makes you do it too soon and you throw the whole dang thing up and then have to do it all over again in the morning.

9. I hate it when you on like your fourth IV.........and between that and all the blood draws your arms look like you have been in a street fight.

(disclaimer: I love all you medical professionals that do so much to make our lives better. Please don't send me hate mail. But just to make you feel better....I will add this.)

STUFF I LOVE ABOUT HOSPITALS:

1. Painkillers

2. Scrubs you smuggle out in your bag

3. The little button on your remote that shuts the door automatically. Man, that is so cool.

Edited February 18, 2009 by Misshalfway

[Jenamarie]

I'm a few days away from delivering my third baby, and I SO know how you feel! Like they wake you up at 4 in the morning to take your temperature and all that, and I'm like "I JUST HAD A BABY! I NEED SLEEP!" Or one nurse with my first baby woke me up at *2 am* to watch me nurse my daugher to make sure I was doing it right. Who CAN properly nurse a baby at 2 in the morning?? Especially a first time mom?

Gotta agree with you on the pain killers though.

[Guest SisterofJared]

I have never had a little remote button that shuts the door automatically. That sounds cool!

But I have spent far too much time in the hospital, seven times this last year. Here's my list:

I hate:

1. The stinking beds that are hard as rocks, no wonder people get bed sores!

2. Blood pressure cuffs that are put on too tight, and then when they automatically pump up, they hurt and make little veins burst and your arms have red freckles that aren't supposed to be there.

3. Those thin little blankets that never are warm enough. Takes 4 or 5 of them to get warm!

4. Staff that knows NOTHING about nutrition. They bring a sandwich, and I tell them I'm allergic to wheat, can't eat bread. So they say, "How about some crackers instead?" DUH. You gotta watch them, they will kill you with the wrong food if you're not careful. Plus have you ever noticed that most of their snack stuff is garbage anyway? crackers and jello, pudding. Try and get an apple for a snack!

5. Blood tests. Often they miss the vein too many times. I'm a long time diabetic, used to being stabbed, strike one... okay. pretty normal. strike two, not so good, and when it takes more than three pokes, I'm not happy. Took 13 once. That is too many. patience is a virtue yes, but!!!! And at 4 a.m. even one poke is too many!

6. When you have to sit in the hallway on a gurney or in the ER waiting for a room..... for hours. BORING. Can't even watch TV. Really boring. Can't sleep, just boring. LOL.

7. Too much/too little info given. I want to know what's going on.... but last month the doctor freaked me out by telling me they thought I had a disease, and giving me a bunch of printed info on it... and the info said it was a terminal disease! I still don't know if I have the disease, and I'd rather not know it is a terminal disease if I don't even have it! She should have withheld such details until diagnosis. Freaked me out for a day or two, then I prayed and felt at peace. Doctor's should give you enough information that you know what is going on, but not tell you you MIGHT have a fatal disease.... save the details for later if the diagnosis is confirmed! Another time the doctor did tests telling me they were looking for a hole between the chambers of my heart... which they found. What she didn't tell me for two days was that about 15% of people have that hole and it's no big deal. So I laid awake at night, full of fear because I had seen the hole on the ultrasound.... too little or too much info is disturbing. Gotta get the right balance!

8. IVs. I hate them.... they are always in an awkward place. Can't bend my arm well.

9. Boredom. You can only sleep so many hours, and boredom sets in.

10. Discharging takes SOOOOO long. Why does it take hours and hours to actually get to leave when your doc says you can go?

Things I love about the hospital:

1. When I'm really feeling bad, it's a comfort to know I can just sleep, and someone's taking care of me.

2. CNA's. They have the nicest CNAs, who give the best service at the hospital I go to.

3. Room Service meals. I call, give my order, they serve, and even track the calories, sodium,protein potassium, phosporus, that my renal diet calls for. Wish I could get that at home!

4. Visitors. My family always comes in and we play Phase 10! Or they get a meal tray sent up and eat with me. I like visitors! LOL.

5. I like LEAVING the hospital and going home!!!!!

[Palerider]

I love hospitals....my wife works at one....and is usually the one who takes care of the first 3 on the list......:D

[Dr T]

hahaha those are great 1/2 :) Thanks for that.

[pam]

I guess I've been lucky. I've been in a hospital numerous times and always have had great experiences. Okay except for the taking of the temperature at 4 a.m. They tell me to get rest and they wake you up every 2 hours. Other than that...no complaints.

[Wingnut]

1) I hate calling for pain meds (post-op) and waiting over half an hour for them to arrive.

2) I hate needing three people's assistance to be able to make it to the bathroom, and then having to drape all the monitoring crap over my shoulders while trying to keep it out of the toilet while I pee for the second time in as many hours.

3) I hate that the blood pressure cuff makes me cry when it balloons up, but contractions don't.

4) I hate that the doctor thinks it's a good idea to try and retrieve the Cytotec tablet after it's already dissolved.

[mightynancy]

Little Mighty was in the hospital for a 9-day stay a while back. I can't complain about much! I was curious, though, why housekeeping came in to fetch the garbage at FOUR IN THE MORNING. After a few nights, I figured out that a scrawled note taped to the door kept them out.

Loved:

The nurses and CNA's! Seriously, a fine crew.

The cute anesthesiologist. Dr. E, you know who you are! He did my spinal when this same kid was born. He's very witty!

The food services lady who snuck me apples and yogurts when Little Mighty was asleep. I was on a faux hunger strike while my li'l one was NPO. Dude, I lost 9 pounds!

Child Services. Fabulous playroom, and they had room service toys and books.

[Maureen]

I can't think of any "I hates..." but I'll list the loves...

Things I love about Hospitals:

1. I love it when they help you get pregnant when you can’t do it the natural way - twice.

2. I love it when they help you get better when you’re sick while pregnant.

3. I love it when, due to getting sick while pregnant, the hospital runs tests after you deliver to answer the question as to why you got sick in the first place. It takes 6 months to reach a diagnosis, which not only explains why you got sick, but also why you had trouble getting pregnant.

4. I love it when they clean the bathrooms everyday!

5. I love it when you need to sleep sitting up, you have the ability to adjust the bed.

6. I love it when doctors show their lighter side. (On about the 5th day of being in the hospital with pneumonia at almost 8 months pregnant; the doctor comes into my room and says that they are not sure what kind of respiratory infection I have but the one thing that they were absolutely positive about – I was pregnant. It made me laugh; which I really needed.)

7. I love it when they help you deliver the “most beautiful babies in the whole world”.

8. I love that in a Canadian hospital, you never get woken up at 4am by a nurse for anything. (Not me anyway) :)

Editing to add one thing I hate:

I hate it when you have to go to the hospital for a Lundh meal test, the most uncomfortable test ever; and they make you walk to radiology.

M.

Edited February 19, 2009 by Maureen

[Dr T]

good ones M :)

[marshac]

Things I enjoy about the ER (where I dwell)-

People who are still kind despite the possibility that they're having the worst day of their life.

Stories from folks with significant life experience

The ability to find a quiet place and say a quick prayer for a deceased patient

Seeing families come together- in good and in bad

The ability to comfort someone with something as simple as a warm blanket and kind words

Speculating along with the patient (who is strapped to a back board and wearing a neck brace) what might be wrong with the car now.... perhaps the firefighters turned it into a convertable

Seeing the joy of a mother listening to the heartbeat of her unborn child... whom she feared she had lost.

Seeing people get better

Being there in some small way for people whose life will never be the same

[pam]

Thank you marshac. That was awesome and makes me feel my little trivial complaints about medical facilities really are.. well...quite trivial.

[Guest TheLutheran]

. . . have only been in the hospital 3 times for drive-by deliveries of TheLittleLutherans #1, #2 & #3.

I hated:

*The little redheaded nurse who tried to run the maternity ward like an air traffic controller -- designating in which order the 7 babies were to arrive. When it was my turn on the tarmac TheLittleLutheran #1 got stuck sunny-side up and she wasn't budging. The little redheaded nurse was having none of that so I begged to go home but she wouldn't let me!!

*that nobody ever reminded me that I COULD have meds during delivery.

*that they forgot to tell me that TheLittleLutheran #2's blood sugar had dropped dramatically just after birth, she was given formula but then they pumped her stomache. No wonder she didn't wake up for 15 hours after discharge at 8 hours old. I thought the lights were on but nobody was home with that one.

*that they kept making me get back in bed.

*that they booted TheLittleLutheran #3 outta the nursery cuz she snored so loud.

[Moksha]

Cheer up Miss Halfway and think about all that yummy hospital food and the smell of bodily fluids.