Food

[Soul_Searcher]

This might seem a silly thing to have an issue over, but if we have any issues in our marriage then they are food related!

We have been brought up very differently with regard to our attitudes to food. My DH was brought up with his Mum cooking everything for him. They ate very unhealthily, and they are all overweight with health problems.

I, on the other hand was brought up with my Dad in the kitchen cooking up a storm, and having adventurous meals that were nutritious. We are all healthy and slim.

Now, I love to eat healthily and what sparked off this question was I was considering giving up red meat and eating only poultry and fish. But I thought, it will cause more problems with meals than we have already. My DH wont try anything new, refuses to eat fish and low-fat foods. He would eat steak and burgers for the rest of his life. If I decide to eat a meal that he wont eat (i.e a chicken stir fry) then because he wont/cant cook for himself he'll buy a ready meal or get a take-away.

Not only is this bad for him and he is putting on a considerable amount of weight, but its costing us money as we are eating two different meals per night. I sometimes give in but I have put on some extra weight as a result. I refuse to fully conform to his ways as then I would get fat too.

What do people do in households with fussy eaters? I am also worried at how his eating habits might reflect on our future children, as I want to instill good nutritional habits from the start.

Its a nightmare lol Im dreading dinner time tonight.

Any advice or similar stories?

[hordak]

My wife and I are the same way.

I like food, she likes what food eats:). Usually I just take mine before I add the stuff she likes, like vegetables, fungus etc. Or we find common ground with pasta.

[Rant] Why is it when someone knows what the like and will not compromise in life it is to be celebrated , but when a person knows what they like/don't like in food the are accused of being fussy, or picky. [rant]

[Misshalfway]

I can't decide whether your issue is about food or about the fact that you too aren't learning how to negotiate solutions.

It seems to me there is room for both perspectives. And heck, if my H (as cute as he is) doesn't like what or how I am cooking, then he is free to cook for himself!

[Hemidakota]

"It seems to me there is room for both perspectives. And heck, if my H (as cute as he is) doesn't like what or how I am cooking, then he is free to cook for himself!"

http://i.azjmp.com/0SbSY

Miss Halfway

[Wingnut]

They do say that the husband is the first child a woman raises.

I'm inclined to agree with Halfers...if he doesn't like it, he knows where the kitchen is. He also should grow up and be a big boy and eat what he's given.

[pam]

Isn't that kind of what we teach our children? Eat what's presented or don't eat at all. Seems we should follow what we teach our own children.

[Soul_Searcher]

They do say that the husband is the first child a woman raises.

I'm inclined to agree with Halfers...if he doesn't like it, he knows where the kitchen is. He also should grow up and be a big boy and eat what he's given.

Very true...but he takes the take-away option if he doesnt like what I cook. Maybe I should hold my ground and cook it for him anyway, whereas now I dont casue I no he doesnt like it.

He likes vegetables, but only certain ones and will only eat them in a roast-dinner format which we cant eat every day.

hordak sounds like you have it sussed. Pasta is one of my DHs hate foods lol

I'm working tonight so Ive made myself something and he can sort himself out later-probs a takeaway tho!

To be fair he has come on some since we were married and now eats rice (he never had rice before he was 20 as his mum saw that as 'exotic and foreign' and they only ate british based meals).

I think it will take some time, but guess I should persevere, be more firm, and when the kids come along use them as an excuse!!!!

[the Ogre]

I am a culinary stunt-person. I do not understand your DH. Back in the day when I was married, I ate whatever my then wife cooked with thanks and appreciation (we had one food-fight . . . I hate pori-cha a traditional Korean barley-tea, I lost and drank it without comment up to the day she left). We ate loads of Korean, Chinese, and American dishes (as she is Korean, we never had Japanese . . . I had to sneak around for that stuff).

My son is a chef. I love all the crazy stuff he brings home. Food is great. Eating is my biggest WoW challenge.

Personally, I love cheeseburgers and think hoagies are one G-d's greatest creations, but salads, pizza, kim-chee, humas, steaks, fungus (what I'm not allergic to), tofu, and thousands of other dishes are fantastic. The only things I draw the line at are: bugs (I never had one I like, but I did try them . . . note this does not include sea-bugs, I love shrimp, crabs and the like), grape-jelly (my mom made grape-jelly sandwiches everyday of my life until I joined the army . . . she still makes them for my dad), and live, sea-cucumber (except for live octopus, I do not like arguing with my food as I'm trying to eat it especially as it tastes like acid and has the consistency of raw-eggs).

[hordak]

hordak sounds like you have it sussed. Pasta is one of my DHs hate foods lol

Can you translate that to American English:confused:

[Dravin]

Tell him to come up with a meal that works for both of you. Alternatively to help keep the budget crunch to a minimum just buy some lunch meat, I'm assuming he'll eat a sandwich (which can be very healthy). If you want some ideas on meal ideas that could border on or cross over into healthy a thread asking for recipes with a list of what he will eat might be productive. This is of course just all taking the path of least resistance instead of trying to help him change (and helping him change is all you'll be able to do, unless he wants to change he isn't going to).

Also, its possible to eat a burger or steak for dinner every night and not gain weight. Now a 3/4 lb monstrosity with tons of cheese and slathered with mayo obviously doesn't work well for that, but IIRC 1/4 lb (I know, I'm using our funky 'Merican measurements, think 110 grams or so) of 85/15 hamburger only has like 250 Cal in it. That plus a Bun and Cheese is only 500 calories some ketchup or mustard doesn't add that much more, just make sure to go light on mayonnaise, and you even had enough left over for a serving (as defined by the bag) of chips or baked French fries without it being a ridiculous amount of calories. A small steak and baked potato (light sour cream or small amounts of butter w/ chives) or steamed veggies (which I realize from your posts he probably wouldn't eat the last one) won't be bad either. This is avoiding the cost issue of course compared to veggies meat is more expensive but is cheaper than eating out, of course I live in the land where I can get said hamburger on sale for $2 a lb regularly enough to stock up and keep it on ice until the next sale comes along (~£1.3 for ~450 grams).

Now I realize not gaining weight isn't the same as healthy, I can maintain my weight on a diet that is mostly fat and that ain't healthy but it takes care of one aspect. Such a meal can even be part of a healthy diet if you make sure to keep breakfast and lunch under control.

[Soul_Searcher]

Can you translate that to American English:confused:

Haha! It means like, you have it worked out, or sorted. I didnt realise that was an 'English' word.

Thanks for the tips Dravin and the-ogre. The more I read your posts the more I realise how weird my DH is with food. He WONT eat sandwiches because he says they go soggy and taste funny. he only likes BOUGHT ones. He will eat them if forced, so I think maybe I should start making his lunches then he wont have a choice. I suppose Im trying to avoid treating him like a child, and want a partnership relationship.

I actually think a lot of his problems are psychological. Ive told him in the past to 'get over it' but he thinks Im not being sensitive then It is a really big issue for him, his biggest challenge on his mission was food.

He does suggest meals, but has like certain stipulations which now I write it, I realise are ridiculous and more based on what he WANTS. Like he would eat veg, but not steak with veg, only chips ,as it 'doesnt go'. I def need to tell him to get over THAT one lol

Lesson learned: Stand my ground and make the decisions first before he has a chance to protest!!!!

[Dravin]

He WONT eat sandwiches because he says they go soggy and taste funny.

For shame. The Earl of Sandwich is offended, tell him for slandering one of England's finest exports to the world* that he is sentenced to eat nothing but Hákarl and Century Eggs for a week.

* The pendant in me is forced to admit that the idea of putting a filling on/in between a bread was not invented by the Earl of Sandwich (the 11th, John Montagu to be more precise) he sure didn't hurt its popularity though and gave us English speakers a grand name to call it by.

Edited May 19, 2009 by Dravin

[pam]

Perhaps make what he likes but add something you like as a side dish as well. Maybe he'll try some of these "new" things and find out he likes them after all. I think people like being stubborn too. Not saying this is the case with your husband but saying in general. I could see someone really liking something but won't admit it to prove whatever point they think they are trying to make.

[jameslentz]

...he sure didn't hurt its popularity though and gave us English speakers a grand name to call it by.

and in southern english...."I luv sammiches!!":lol:

[Misshalfway]

What if you try some of those recipes where you hide carrots in the cupcakes??

[DigitalShadow]

I am a ridiculously picky eater as well but I lean more towards high fat dairy foods like pizza rather than red meat. Because of my picky eating habits though, I do most of the cooking myself and have gotten pretty good at it.

If he doesn't like home made sandwiches but likes store bought ones, find out what the differences are. For me, I love sandwiches but can't stand them if they are not on the proper bread. A nice sandwich roll makes a world of difference in taste over just plain flat sliced bread. Also, if it's a matter of getting soggy over time, perhaps he can just take all the ingredients to work and assemble the sandwich there?

It does sound like your DH needs to compromise on dinner a bit though. There are some things that are healthy and still taste good even for the pickiest of eaters, you just have to do a little experimenting and he has to at least be open to trying some new dishes.

[Wingnut]

What if you try some of those recipes where you hide carrots in the cupcakes??

Deceptively Delicious...it's intended for kids, but it sounds like it could work here. Ever had broccoli brownies?

[Misshalfway]

Deceptively Delicious...it's intended for kids, but it sounds like it could work here. Ever had broccoli brownies?

Nope. But I just made a raspberry roulaurd with carrot . It was actually really good. Only I need to make sure the carrot is really finely ground. My kids weren't quite so sure. But that was because of the raspberries. Can't win really with kids, I have decided.

[DigitalShadow]

Ever had broccoli brownies?

Why ruin brownies?

[Misshalfway]

Why ruin brownies?

Because. I want the brownie AND The skinny hips.

[DigitalShadow]

Because. I want the brownie AND The skinny hips.

But adding broccoli doesn't magically cancel out the fat or sugar, it just adds some of the vitamins and minerals that you would get from broccoli. I'd rather just not ruin my brownies and take vitamin supplement

[Dravin]

Because. I want the brownie AND The skinny hips.

Ever tried bean fudge? Fudge with fiber for everyone!

[the Ogre]

Because. I want the brownie AND The skinny hips.

Bah . . . skinny hips . . . I celebrate the "wide load" bumper sticker on my can.

[Guest missingsomething]

Try compromise. I bought a few cook books that are low cal/fat but still contain meat, etc. My husband would never try anything new (AT ALL) I then kept track of the money we were spending on take out (for him) when I showed him how much money it was and that he COULD have had his big screen tv - well, he learned to compromise. I will make a healthy main thing... then give him some of his "junk food" like rice a roni, mac and cheese....etc. Um, plus--- like kids... i've learned if I call things "chicken" he will eat it. So I know it sounds dumb but if I make stir fry - I call it chicken and rice, and i keep out a lot of the veggies of his and just means more for me.

[the Ogre]

Try compromise. I bought a few cook books that are low cal/fat but still contain meat, etc. My husband would never try anything new (AT ALL) I then kept track of the money we were spending on take out (for him) when I showed him how much money it was and that he COULD have had his big screen tv - well, he learned to compromise. I will make a healthy main thing... then give him some of his "junk food" like rice a roni, mac and cheese....etc. Um, plus--- like kids... i've learned if I call things "chicken" he will eat it. So I know it sounds dumb but if I make stir fry - I call it chicken and rice, and i keep out a lot of the veggies of his and just means more for me.

You know what, Missing, one of these days a doctor is going to scare the crap out of him and then you'll be justified. Wait for that day and then smugly make him all the healthy stuff you want to now.

Ooooo . . . I wonder how the "I told you so" fight is going to go.