Need Help on gay sexual sin?

[foreverafter]

All adultery is bad but I know alot of women would be less hurt by their husband's same-sex affair than if he had an affair with a woman. Still, your wife will be very hurt though & living to regain her trust & making her happy every day & doing all her wishes before your own, will probably be the most powerful thing to heal you & your marriage, once you fully confess & repent.

[FunkyTown]

You honestly know a lot of women who would be less hurt by someone cheating with a guy instead of how hurt they'd be if he cheated with a girl, Forever?

I find that very strange. If I were married and the wife cheated on me with a woman, I'd be just as hurt.

Although I still say this guy isn't a member of the church. There's no way he does'nt know the consequences of adultery and yet has been through the temple. The gay sin is a far cry less serious than the abandoning temple covenants one, which he would know if he took the temple prep class.

[pam]

He hasn't even posted in 11 days. This may be just another post and run.

[badboy]

He hasn't even posted in 11 days. This may be just another post and run.

Just cause I don't post, dosen't mean I don't read how you all are ripping me down, calling me a stroy teller. Maybe I deserve being rip apart, but that's not why I came here. I came here in hopes to find answears and hopfully find friends. I see that's not going to happen. But I would like to thank the four that has help me to look at myself better. Hope you all enjoyed bashing me.

[badboy]

Am I the only person who suspects this person is making up this whole scenario? If he was married in the temple, then was told it was okay to commit adultery, why would he be coming on here to ask what would happen?

"I committed adultery after having been married in the temple and am completely unrepentant. What do they do in that situation?"

This would mean:

1) He was part of the church for at least a year prior to being sealed.

2) He was given a Temple Recommend.

3) He was Endowed.

4) He had no idea what the consequences of cheating on his spouse would be.

Forget the same sex issue. He broke his temple covenants and pretends to have no idea what will happen if he speaks to the brethren.

Does anyone really believe this particular scenario? I say he's not a member at all.

Well Funkytown, you think you know all about me, huh? Just to shows how much of a self rightess, Mr. prefect person you are. Just let me clear up a few facts with you.

1st: ( He was part of the church for at least a year prior to being sealed) I have been born and raseid in the church. I have family that acame across the plains and helped seattled Utah. STRIKE 1.

2nd: ( He was given a Temple Recommend.) I had, KEY WORD, HAD a temple reconmend, but have not renewal it, because stuiped me dosn't belong in the temple. Why?, Oh maybe because I'm not worthy to be there as if I'm not aware of what I did. I'm not that stuiped. I'm very well aware of what I did. STRIKE 2.

3rd: (He was Endowed.) Hello? If I was married in the temple, of couse I was Encwoed.

I mean, How arraganit are you? STRIKE 3, your out.

4th: (He had no idea what the consequences of cheating on his spouse would be.) I beleve that if you read my post, at that time I didn't care. Which means, if I didn't care, I wasn't thinking of my consequences. NOW THAT'S STRIKE 4. And of course lets not forget this, *(Forget the same sex issue. He broke his temple covenants and pretends to have no idea what will happen if he speaks to the brethren.)* NO, I haven't forgoten about the same sex issue. I KNOW THAT I BROKE COVENANTS. That's why I stop takeing the sacrement, that's why I never had my temple reconments renewal.

(Am I the only person who suspects this person is making up this whole scenario?) And no, this isn't a scenario, or story. This is real, I DID THIS AND EVERY THING I SAID IS TURE. I do want to repent, and it is only now that I'm realizeing to what extent of what I did. Like I said, at that time didn't care, I was kick out of my home, I was angry, and my world was falling aprat. I really didn't know who I was, and even now I really don't know who I am. I know, everyone say that I'm I child of god, and that god loves me. I really don't know if he could love some one like me. Heck, I deserve everything that happens to me. My marragge is a joke, my wife dosn't support me in anything, she is always punishing me for every mistake I make, becuse you see, she is a very renicful person. Her motto, "don't forgive, get even". She is constanlly putting down the chruch, esspeally after what this one ward we was in did some searuos damage to my speacil needs dauther. Don't like the way she talks or treats our kids, and there is not a thing I can do without making it worse. my wife blames me for working two jobs, and when I make too much money, the SSI check that my daughter gets gets cut in half. Seems like no matter what I do, it's never right or she never happy. I wish I could be one of those husbins that can that can say thanks for her support, her love and for bringing the sprit into my home. So right now, I HATE MY LIFE Maybe I deseare to get kick out of the church. I KNOW THAT GOD MAD AT ME, AND I KNOW THAT I DISSAPOITED HIM. DO I SOUND ANGRY, D**M RIGHT I'M ANGRY. I ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR BEING SO WEAK AT THAT TIME. I'M ANGRY FOR LETTING MY COUSITY GET THE BETTER OF ME, I'M ANGRY FOR NOT THINKING THIS THOROGH, I'M ANGREY AT MYSELF BECAUSE I'M A FAILURE. IF ANYTHING WAS TO HAPPEN TO ME, THE ONLY 2 PEOPLE I KNOW THAT WILL MISS ME IS MY MOM & MY SON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY SON SEE IN ME, BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT I'M THIS REALY SPEACL DAD THAT CAN DO NO WRONG. I TRY SO HARD TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT, AND I GET NO SUPPRT FROM MY (SO CALLED) WIFE. AND THEN THERE'S MY DAUGHTER, BECUASE SHE IS SPEACL NEEDS, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE I STAND WITH HER. Now am at a point that I just don't care anymore. I don't know if I have anymore faith, and I surely don't have any hope. My wife not gong to change, and she has even made that remark to me and our kids. My wife destroy our marrage and love a long time ago, even before I did my unforgiveable sin. Well that's PART of my story Funkytown, (since that's what you will no doubt call this.) have fun putting me down, ripping me apart and bashing me, (which I probbly do deseave) along with all of your other friends here on this site. That's what you seem to to best, so have fun. Hope I didn't dissapoint you. I came to this site looking for friends, and it dosn't look like I will find any.

[badboy]

Now from what I understand from your post you spoke to Heavenly Father about this incident before you acted upon it. I am curious is it that you felt God knew what you were going to do already and He was alright with it?....

You know what?, now that I thinking about it, maybe I was just to make myself feel better. I really didn't respect my self, I had all given up, I was in pain, and just maybe in my sick little head, talking to God would help me feel better. May subconsilly, I was trying to talk my self out of it, but being so stuiped as I'm am, I wasn't listening to him. Like I said, I really wasn't thinking, and I really didn't care. So here Funkytown & wingut, here some more that you can bash me about. Have fun every one, start cutting me down and making fun of me.

[Dravin]

DO I SOUND ANGRY, D**M RIGHT I'M ANGRY. I ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR BEING SO WEAK AT THAT TIME. I'M ANGRY FOR LETTING MY COUSITY GET THE BETTER OF ME, I'M ANGRY FOR NOT THINKING THIS THOROGH,

This:

But because I don't have any regrets, and I'm not sorry for what happen, dose this make me bad?*

Doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I think that's a good thing.

[badboy]

BTW Bad boy ( and I say this in all kindness).....Why were you so angry? You made your choices. You gave into your curiosity....something that sounds important to you. And then the consequences for your actions came back to bite you. What exactly did you think would happen?

Darn right I'm angry. I'm angry at myself, for doing it, I'm angry for not thinking this throught, I'm angry becuse I wasn't strong egnought to say no. What was I going to think was going to happen? you ask, HELLO THERE, I wasn't thinking at the time. So I guess that this is what me me bad and evil, and I probally don't even diserve to be forgiven. I'm already been kick out of the celestral word. And I probally diseive to be kick out of the church. So why would he want someone like me in his chruch.

[the Ogre]

When you are dealing with guilt and anger at yourself over your guilt, you are never thinking logically. Impassioned, angry, unreasonable guilt never has a foothold in reality. More often than anything else, you are trying to rationalize why you do not belong to the church and why you need to avoid the congregation of the saints.

Talk to your bishop and your family. Be courageous and listen to what the bishop says. He will be right. If he decides that excommunication is the correct course of action, then accept it. Repent and return.

Mean while, seek a support group. Seek help from people that want you to stay in the church.

[foreverafter]

Badboy,

You are already half way there. You have realized your need to repent, most people never do & I think you do feel bad about it all, but just have little support to face it all. Go to the Bishop & he can give you the support you need or if you want support from a really cool counselor guy I know one that is great & deals with these kind of issues with men, depending on where you live.

You have all the reason to hope & go on to live a happy life, no matter if your wife ever changes, (but she will) you can still have a happy marriage. I know that doesn't make sense at the moment but it's true. Pres. Hinckley said the answer to every marriage problem is love. I know you don't want to hear about loving your wife right now, but you can slowly teach her how to love if she isn't real good at it. That's your responsibility as a leader in your home. She needs your leadership to show her how to be a loving wife & mother. Usually it's the woman who must teach this to a husband but sometimes it's the man. Just teach with humility, tenderness, love, patience & forgiveness.

All women respond to True Love, everyone does eventually. (Unless she is on a mind altering drug than all bets are off) More than anything show her by example the love & service you would like her to give you. She will one day reciprocate it all back to you & more. Giving love is as rewarding as receiveing it & can make you feel so good & even loved, if not by her, by God. He knows your marriage has been hard & he will help you heal it. He is proud of you wanting to repent & heal this sin & he will help you do that.

My husband used to pray when he would go to R-rated movies, even while sitting there watching. "Heavenly father here I am again, please help me stop coming to these...." After a while he really was able to give them up & hasn't seen one for years. Heavenly Father wants us to pray even while we are sinning. You did great to even think about him at that moment. It made a difference. He is giving you a chance to repent, please trust in him & he can make your future bright & help you receive all the things you need & want. Your little children are counting on you to save them & make their family forever, they are the most vulnerable in all of this. You can do it.

Edited June 1, 2009 by foreverafter

[FunkyTown]

You know what?, now that I thinking about it, maybe I was just to make myself feel better. I really didn't respect my self, I had all given up, I was in pain, and just maybe in my sick little head, talking to God would help me feel better. May subconsilly, I was trying to talk my self out of it, but being so stuiped as I'm am, I wasn't listening to him. Like I said, I really wasn't thinking, and I really didn't care. So here Funkytown & wingut, here some more that you can bash me about. Have fun every one, start cutting me down and making fun of me.

To be fair, I just think you aren't a member. This doesn't mean your pain isn't real. It just means you're lying about where you're coming from. While others would make the mistake you've made, few people would ask what the consequences of breaking marriage covenants are.

I think you just need to be honest about where you're coming from and what your real question is. If you don't know what the real question is, think about it. Pray and try to figure out what you're really asking.

Because I guarantee that anyone who'd been through the temple would know what the consequences of your choice is.

[pam]

I am actually having a hard time with this as well FT. In another thread all the blame for unhappiness is being put on a ward.

http://www.lds.net/forums/introduce-yourself/21636-hello-new-here.html

We've kinda got two stories going on here. I dislike that so many are offering encouragement and support when we have such differences in stories.

[Hemidakota]

About 3 or 4 years ago, I had gay sex. I had already had those kind of feelins ever since I learn about that as a teenager. I'm married, but not happily (that's another story) in the temple. To make this short and sweet, I was kick out of my home. Live at my parants house for a year and durning that time, I was feeling down, didn't care, angry and so on. It was durning this time that my curiosity got the best of me. Before I knew it it, I had found someone was just as curious as I was, and so we meet and we both explored and had safe gay sex. I prayed to god about this, knowing that he wouldn't or couldn't help me becuase my mind was already made up. Since he already knew that I was giong to do this before I did, but just knowing and taking to him made me feel some what better. I told him and myself that I just wanted to experance this at least once, knowing that this was wrong, but agian, I didn't really care. I also promie him that I would never do that again, hoping that god would understand. That would satisfy my curiosity, and it did, even to the point that this burden was lifted off my shoulders. Since that time, I haven't look back or felt a need to go there again. At times I do reflect on it, because it was a good expereance, but I also know that I need to go the bishop to repent of it. I've learned that in order to be forgiven, I have to be very sorrowful, and have a lot of regret about what I did. But because I don't have any regrets, and I'm not sorry for what happen, dose this make me bad?

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't born a member, becuse then I could do and experance anything that I want and then join the church at a later date and I could be forgiven of everyting and start fresh. Dose this make me bad also?

If I go to my bishop who I've known a real long time, will he understand why I did it and what will he think of me afterwards. He thinks that I'm this really great and special pesron, and I'm not. I been taught that God loves me no matter what, and that the bishops don't make judgements and that they are there to help us. I do want to to back to the temlpe, and I do want to repent, even though I already knew what I done was wrong. Right now I'm sturggling with my faith in the chruch and in myself with other issues not related to this, which I might bring up on here at a later time. Dose this make me evil, or lost cause? Beacuse I really don't know what to do, and I know there or other members that been through this and feels the same way as I do. PLEAE HELP?

After experiencing any sin, it becomes part of you, like any addicting drug.

At this point, you need to see your Bishop...do not delay any further with this weight on your shoulder. I had counseled worst cases then this and members felt the weight being removed after many years of suffering. GOD grant you the courage and ability in seeking support and help.

[Gab84]

We all make mistakes, but it isn't a man who can judge or question your morality, or can forgive you (that's why I don't understand catholics).

Only God can forgive you.

I never condemn Love, but if there wasn't love, if it was just curiosity then I'd say you did a wrong thing, you made a mistake, big deal! we all make mistakes every day, you may have made a big mistake there but that doesn't mean you're sentenced to hell.

You should focus on yourself, just on yourself, on your path, that's what counts, your path towards God and His teachings. Talk with the Lord, talk with yourself, read inspirational scriptures.

It doesn't matter if your homosexual or heterosexual, what really matters is that you love God and try your best to live by what Jesus taught us. Love, love, love! Do not harm other people and do not harm yourself.

Find deep within you the answer, when you find it then you'll know what to do with your life and how to continue your path.

Take care bro'!

[badboy]

I am actually having a hard time with this as well FT. In another thread all the blame for unhappiness is being put on a ward.

http://www.lds.net/forums/introduce-yourself/21636-hello-new-here.html

We've kinda got two stories going on here. I dislike that so many are offering encouragement and support when we have such differences in stories.

If you read my post, I did say that I had other issues along with my BIG UNFORGIVEABLE SIN. that's isn't relateded to this sin in regards to my faith. NEXT TIME, READ THE POST INSTEAD OF TWISTING IT YOUR SICK MIND.

I hope my bishop wont respond to what I did the way you did.

This is what I said:

Right now I'm sturggling with my faith in the chruch and in myself with other issues not related to this' date=' which I might bring up on here at a later time .[/quote']

[pam]

Ouch that hurt. Okay not really.

[talisyn]

Ouch that hurt. Okay not really.

I feel sorry for the OP. It sucks when you go and commit a serious sin and can't get away with it. But the repentance process is the same no matter what sin, all he has to do is take the first step back to the straight and narrow.

[Corey]

I haven't read the whole thread, but I just want to be another voice to say that God does love you. More than you can comprehend. This doesn't always need to remain an issue like it is now. The way you see and feel about things can change. I understand that you've never properly repented of your gay encounter, as you never told the bishop. This should have been done before temple marriage. However, it's never too late to set things right. Even though you don't see the connnection, moving beyond this issue WILL improve your marriage in due time.

[FunkyTown]

I haven't read the whole thread, but I just want to be another voice to say that God does love you. More than you can comprehend. This doesn't always need to remain an issue like it is now. The way you see and feel about things can change. I understand that you've never properly repented of your gay encounter, as you never told the bishop. This should have been done before temple marriage. However, it's never too late to set things right. Even though you don't see the connnection, moving beyond this issue WILL improve your marriage in due time.

You also misread the original post, Corey. The OP said he committed the sin after a temple marriage.

He also most likely isn't even a member and never got married in the temple.

[Aesa]

If you read my post, I did say that I had other issues along with my BIG UNFORGIVEABLE SIN. that's isn't relateded to this sin in regards to my faith. NEXT TIME, READ THE POST INSTEAD OF TWISTING IT YOUR SICK MIND.

I hope my bishop wont respond to what I did the way you did.

This is what I said:

Unforgiveable sin? Well, there's only one of those.

[Mahdi]

About 3 or 4 years ago, I had gay sex. I had already had those kind of feelins ever since I learn about that as a teenager. I'm married, but not happily (that's another story) in the temple. To make this short and sweet, I was kick out of my home. Live at my parants house for a year and durning that time, I was feeling down, didn't care, angry and so on. It was durning this time that my curiosity got the best of me. Before I knew it it, I had found someone was just as curious as I was, and so we meet and we both explored and had safe gay sex. I prayed to god about this, knowing that he wouldn't or couldn't help me becuase my mind was already made up. Since he already knew that I was giong to do this before I did, but just knowing and taking to him made me feel some what better. I told him and myself that I just wanted to experance this at least once, knowing that this was wrong, but agian, I didn't really care. I also promie him that I would never do that again, hoping that god would understand. That would satisfy my curiosity, and it did, even to the point that this burden was lifted off my shoulders. Since that time, I haven't look back or felt a need to go there again. At times I do reflect on it, because it was a good expereance, but I also know that I need to go the bishop to repent of it. I've learned that in order to be forgiven, I have to be very sorrowful, and have a lot of regret about what I did. But because I don't have any regrets, and I'm not sorry for what happen, dose this make me bad?

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't born a member, becuse then I could do and experance anything that I want and then join the church at a later date and I could be forgiven of everyting and start fresh. Dose this make me bad also?

If I go to my bishop who I've known a real long time, will he understand why I did it and what will he think of me afterwards. He thinks that I'm this really great and special pesron, and I'm not. I been taught that God loves me no matter what, and that the bishops don't make judgements and that they are there to help us. I do want to to back to the temlpe, and I do want to repent, even though I already knew what I done was wrong. Right now I'm sturggling with my faith in the chruch and in myself with other issues not related to this, which I might bring up on here at a later time. Dose this make me evil, or lost cause? Beacuse I really don't know what to do, and I know there or other members that been through this and feels the same way as I do. PLEAE HELP?

My brother,

In Islam we have a sentence which says:

"If a person commit sins and don't repent,God will drop him in difficulties to return toward God because God loves His creatures.But If he continues his sinful life,God will give up him so that person won't feel any Peace during praying."

So my brother,the first step to repent is your decide that you should make to give up sins.The look at yourself,if you feel peace during talking with God,then you are frogiven.

thanks

[deals_dog]

I would suggest talking to your bishop and maybe a councilling session at LDS Social services. However unresolved sin is not a happy companion you will always feel guilt and your self esteem will be low. This will reflect in your family relationships and cast a shaddow over everthing you do. I am a bit worried that you have no regrets, sorrow is a very important part of repentance, with out it you can not gain forgiveness.

[Hemidakota]

About 3 or 4 years ago, I had gay sex. I had already had those kind of feelins ever since I learn about that as a teenager. I'm married, but not happily (that's another story) in the temple. To make this short and sweet, I was kick out of my home. Live at my parants house for a year and durning that time, I was feeling down, didn't care, angry and so on. It was durning this time that my curiosity got the best of me. Before I knew it it, I had found someone was just as curious as I was, and so we meet and we both explored and had safe gay sex. I prayed to god about this, knowing that he wouldn't or couldn't help me becuase my mind was already made up. Since he already knew that I was giong to do this before I did, but just knowing and taking to him made me feel some what better. I told him and myself that I just wanted to experance this at least once, knowing that this was wrong, but agian, I didn't really care. I also promie him that I would never do that again, hoping that god would understand. That would satisfy my curiosity, and it did, even to the point that this burden was lifted off my shoulders. Since that time, I haven't look back or felt a need to go there again. At times I do reflect on it, because it was a good expereance, but I also know that I need to go the bishop to repent of it. I've learned that in order to be forgiven, I have to be very sorrowful, and have a lot of regret about what I did. But because I don't have any regrets, and I'm not sorry for what happen, dose this make me bad?

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't born a member, becuse then I could do and experance anything that I want and then join the church at a later date and I could be forgiven of everyting and start fresh. Dose this make me bad also?

If I go to my bishop who I've known a real long time, will he understand why I did it and what will he think of me afterwards. He thinks that I'm this really great and special pesron, and I'm not. I been taught that God loves me no matter what, and that the bishops don't make judgements and that they are there to help us. I do want to to back to the temlpe, and I do want to repent, even though I already knew what I done was wrong. Right now I'm sturggling with my faith in the chruch and in myself with other issues not related to this, which I might bring up on here at a later time. Dose this make me evil, or lost cause? Beacuse I really don't know what to do, and I know there or other members that been through this and feels the same way as I do. PLEAE HELP?

If you are LDS then stop posting for an answer and contact your local Bishop on what to do.

[badboy]

Just an update on this. I did finely did go to my bishop and told him what I did about a month ago. Told my wife last week. I've been release from my calling and can't take the sacrament anymore. It's been hard and now trying to believe that god loves me. Because right now, I feel worthless and don't deseve to be forgiven. I don't know if I can forgive myself. I'm almost finish reading the book "Miracle of Forgiveness" I understand and know about the the atonement, but finding it hard to believe it's for me. I feel I need something worse or harder. What I've done is worst the adultery. Right now, I'm trying to find this hope and faith I need to get through this.

[ryanh]

IMO, the Miracle of Forgiveness is not a book for someone already repentant. What a downer it is when you already know what you did was wrong. I feel there is too little hope given, and therefore think it is a book best used to humble the unrepentant. But not a book for the repetant who already feels miserable.

Seek balance. Read Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson.

Congrats on taking the hard steps. Good luck to you and your wife. Now it's time to correct your misunderstandings of the atonement by reading writings specifically on the topic.