LostSheep Posted May 31, 2009 Report Posted May 31, 2009 Isn't there a "pam" in "Spam"? lol, JK, i thought it was funny... Quote
pam Posted May 31, 2009 Author Report Posted May 31, 2009 Only if you buy pam in a can to use when cooking spam. Quote
MikeUpton Posted May 31, 2009 Report Posted May 31, 2009 It brings to mind a joke many have probably already heard: A Wall-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates. There are only 6 floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.... As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the Wal-Mart Husband Store to find a husband...... On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Wall-Mart's Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building and have a nice day! Quote
john doe Posted May 31, 2009 Report Posted May 31, 2009 Did you really think there was one? Yes I do. In fact, the middle daughter in your family married one. And he is the nicest guy around if you ask me. Quote
BenRaines Posted May 31, 2009 Report Posted May 31, 2009 I clicked thinking I would see my picture. Looks like it must be copy written and can't be posted. Ben Raines Quote
Traveler Posted June 1, 2009 Report Posted June 1, 2009 Did you really think there was one? According to the tradition of ancient Eastern Christians, a King had spies in Jerusalem when Jesus was on earth. The spies brought the king information about Jesus and that the Jews were plotting to kill Jesus. The King was converted to the teachings of Jesus and sent him a secret message to come to his kingdom where he would be protected and allowed to teach his doctrines in peace. According to the story the king sent an artist to draw a pitcher of Jesus. When the message was delivered it was said that Jesus wrote in his own hand a letter to the king. The letter and the drawing were delivered to the king just before Jesus was crucified. The original letter was saved for 2000 years but the pitcher was lost – for a moment I thought that perhaps the picture had been found. BTW the document that is touted to have been written by the very hand of Christ has been tested and found that the parchment could have only come from the Jerusalem area and it is carbon dated to the time of Christ. The Eastern Christians that descend from this tradition include this especial in their Bible – Western Christians have refused to recognize this document and include it in their Bible. The Traveler Quote
Jim108 Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 Did you really think there was one?Did you really think there was one?Yes, just one. Quote
the Ogre Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 Did you really think there was one?Yes, just one.I agree, but let's make sure H- doesn't look to Norwegian. Quote
pam Posted June 2, 2009 Author Report Posted June 2, 2009 Oh my heck. Can't we have one thread meant for humor? Quote
HEthePrimate Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 (edited) The Perfect ManN'est-ce pas? Edited June 2, 2009 by HEthePrimate Quote
Lbybug Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 Oh my heck. Can't we have one thread meant for humor?what is this "humor" that you speak of? Quote
Traveler Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 Oh my heck. Can't we have one thread meant for humor? Sorry - my fault. But it appears that no one understood my humor (as sarcastic as it is).The Traveler Quote
dazed-and-confused Posted June 3, 2009 Report Posted June 3, 2009 Thanks, pam, for this thread......while you're at it, can you start one for us guys and the perfect woman?.......please, please, please Quote
Guest Godless Posted June 3, 2009 Report Posted June 3, 2009 Here you go dazed:Or for sinners like myself: Quote
Carter Posted June 3, 2009 Report Posted June 3, 2009 Pam, if you needed a pic of me you could've just ask! jk Quote
Dravin Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 · Hidden Hidden If you don't mind Godless I'm just going to pretend that's apple and root beer.
Dravin Posted June 3, 2009 Report Posted June 3, 2009 If you don't mind Godless I'm just going to pretend that's apple and root beer. Quote
Traveler Posted June 4, 2009 Report Posted June 4, 2009 I heard a story about a gospel doctrine class where a teacher asked if anyone had been able to obey the commandment to be perfect. An old retired gentleman humbly and silently stood. The teacher was most surprised. “So you have reached the state of being perfect?” the teacher asked to make sure. “Oh not me”, said the old man. “I’m just standing here in proxy for my wife’s first husband that passed away before we were married.”The Traveler Quote
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