Need Help! Investigator in trouble...

[jorsen]

Greetings!

I need help...(no not just therapy but that probably too :) )

I've been investigating the church off and on for quite awhile. I spent 6-8 months attending a local ward and investigated heavily. There were many times I almost took the plunge but I refrained due to lingering thoughts.

I have no intention of getting baptized only to then doubt myself and have a lack of faith and then go against the covenants I have made. In my mind, it is better to work through these feelings of doubt and concern now instead of being only 'half a believer' instead of a whole hearted one.

Here's my problem...

I've investigated Mormonism as deeply as I can. I've read anti mormon websites and pro mormon websites. I find compelling arguments on both sides which seem plausible. In the end it has left me so confused that I don't know what to do.

When I look at myself...I am 26 years old married and I have 2 step children and one biological (they are all mine in my opinion but just trying to be specific). My oldest is a atheistic minded kid who doesn't believe in anything he can't see. I can respect that as I have those feelings often myself. My wife is a free spirit who loves God with all her heart but does not feel the need to be restricted by a religious denomination. I respect that as well and the thing I envy from her is her happiness in her own skin. My middle child is pro Jesus and christian and baptized in the baptist church (her father is baptist) and basically likes going to church. My youngest (biological) is only 3 and is too young for such things.

Why do I say all this about my family? Because I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I join a church at all it will impact my entire family completely in different ways. I want so badly to make a 'correct decision' and not to make a mistake. I've investigated Atheism, Paganism, Liberal Christianity, Unitarian Universalism, Pentecostal (raised in it) and Mormonism.

Overall, my research into Christian history and the history of the Bible in my opinion has destroyed some credibility of the "Christian Church" as a whole and also some of the integrity of the Bible itself of being an infallible word of God as in every single letter sentence etc is 100% truth. Through this, I have found that the Latter Day Saint revelation of 'restoration' makes the most sense and seems to be the only church so far in my opinion that seems like the 'real deal'.

So, if I do join a Christian church...the only one I would consider at this time would be the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

So...naturally...with that in mind...what do the anti mormon websites do? They try to beat the daylights out of any kind of testimony of the book of mormon and joseph smith.

They mention all sorts of things...Adam God Doctrine...racist comments from Brigham Young...Joseph Smith using a hat and a seer stone...marrying other mens wives...etc etc etc ad nauseum.

It is very confusing and very disruptive. Fortunately, I have found a great deal of help from LightPlanet.com > World Religion and Family Resources and also LDS FAIR Apologetics Homepage. These two non official church websites work hard at combatting anti mormon propaganda.

Through all this propaganda and a general feeling of not being able to 'hold up' to the standard of the church (no coffee no tea tithing holding callings etc) I stopped going to the Mormon church after a good 6-8 months of faithful attending albeit roller-coaster spiritual feelings.

A month ago at my job I was taking some X-ray's of a gentleman (I'm an x-ray tech my trade) and as he was removing his shirt and dress pants to put on an x-ray gown I noticed he was wearing the temple garments. I immediatly paused in my tracks...almost in awe. There he was...a Mormon! First one I'd seen in a long time...at least 6 months perhaps longer. Not only was he a mormon but he was living it! A Temple attending Mormon...the real deal...no messing around here.

I worked with him kindly and after everything was said and done I told him that "I just wanted to say that your church was a massive blessing to my wife and I for almost a year during some difficult times financially and spiritually". He smiled and shook my hand as I then said "I've thought about going back some times...." Then he looked at me and said "Their is a reason you feel that way...you should...you should go back."

He left and after that I had such a spirit of peace on me like I had not felt in a long time...He had a spirit with him...that I had not felt since I had been to that church.

I immediatly went home and began reading the Book of Mormon and "A marvelous work and a wonder" by Legrande Richards? I was even reading a little bit from time to time from "The Articles of Faith" by Talmage.

I felt so spiritually enabled for the first time in so long...I told my wife how she felt and she felt good about it and mostly wanted to support me.

I've had an anxiety disorder (panic attacks) for about 2 years and when I first met the Missionaries it was right after being diagnosed. I was a mental wreck....but The church was a huge blessing for my wife and I. They gave us food and love and financial support that kept us going totally at least 5000 dollars. I cannot thank them enough for the love and support we recieved during that difficult time.

Feeling this continued love from that man and from God, I called the Missionaries and my old friend from that Ward I went to (I have since moved about 10-15 miles away thus putting me within another Ward's district but I still contacted my old Ward).

The missionaries called the local ward I'm registered to go to (as much as an investigator can be registered anyway) and they came and visited my family. We took a lesson or two just to refresh and it wasn't long before my wife and I made a baptismal date for next month.

Of course though...one of my coworkers who is more atheistic paganistic minded (as I was for awhile) saw my book I was reading (Marvelous Work and a Wonder) and immediatlely slammed me for investigating that "crap". Pretty soon after a few days of steady filled doubt going in my head I began to wonder if I felt the spirit at all.

A few weeks now...I have not attended the Ward nor talked to the missionaries. Surely I feel so bad for being such a spiritual roller coaster. One day I feel good about the gospel...the next day I feel "well maybe there is nothing to this" and I relish in evolutionary theory or divination or other new age spiritual thoughts.

My problem is that I feel no peace or comfort in evolution or atheism. I feel none of it. However, because of all this anti mormon stuff and evolutionary things that make sense to me, I don't trust my 'spirit' anymore.

It's like I torture myself...I can be somewhat happy being more agnostic or atheistic....but I keep the Mormon books around and I'll pick up a "Teaching of the Presidents of the Church" book and read a chapter or two and I feel genuinely good about it. Then I'm more confused.

Combine this with an Anxiety disorder and a big ole fear of biting the big one every day and I'm a real wreck sometimes. My wife just wants me to find peace...but I'm so inconsistent and I beat myself up all the time for not being 'sure' about what I want to do. Even though I'm 26 I feel like a adolecent from time to time due to my emotional roller coasters.

Anyway...I've been lurking here for awhile and everyone here seems knowledgable and kind and will say what needs to be said. I figured I would take a chance and throw my whole little situation out in the air and get some responses...I'm an investigator and I'm having trouble!

Thanks for reading,

-Jorsen

[bytor2112]

You know, the Lord isn't the only one who wants you. Contrast the peaceful feelings with the way your co-worker makes you feel. Remember, Satan is miserable and wants to make you miserable too.

My advice: Go back to church...sell out and see what happens. Spend time with the Bishop and as many of the REALLY spiritual people that you can. Seek and ye shall find......

Good luck- Bytor

[Dravin]

You know, the Lord isn't the only one who wants you. Contrast the peaceful feelings with the way your co-worker makes you feel.

In that vein:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Quite frankly I'd tell my coworker to keep his religious beliefs (or lack there of) to himself and I'd rather not talk about it with you thank you very much. If were you work has any kind of HR I imagine they'd not think your coworker's reaction to be acceptable behavior.

[JohnnyRudick]

Greetings!

I need help...(no not just therapy but that probably too :) )

I've been investigating the church off and on for quite awhile. I spent 6-8 months attending a local ward and investigated heavily. There were many times I almost took the plunge but I refrained due to lingering thoughts.

. . .

I've investigated Mormonism as deeply as I can. I've read anti mormon websites and pro mormon websites. I find compelling arguments on both sides which seem plausible. In the end it has left me so confused that I don't know what to do.

. . .

Thanks for reading,

-Jorsen

Hay Jorsen:)

I would stay away from those anti-Mormon websites.

You know that if the Church is true, (and it is by the way;)) then the devil is doing all he can to keep you confused.

I have read most every anti-Mormon thing out there I can think of and I have to keep in the Scriptures to keep my head straight.

Are you willing to do that?

Then stay away from those places.

You know that their spirit is one of strife and contention.

I pray for you in combating this evil that is keeping you away from the Lord and His blessings He has for you and your family.

Bro. Rudick

[Maureen]

...A month ago at my job I was taking some X-ray's of a gentleman (I'm an x-ray tech my trade) and as he was removing his shirt and dress pants to put on an x-ray gown I noticed he was wearing the temple garments. I immediatly paused in my tracks...almost in awe. There he was...a Mormon! First one I'd seen in a long time...at least 6 months perhaps longer. Not only was he a mormon but he was living it! A Temple attending Mormon...the real deal...no messing around here...

Okay, this is a little off topic, but wasn't there a change room for him to put on his x-ray gown?

M.

[JohnnyRudick]

Okay, this is a little off topic, but wasn't there a change room for him to put on his x-ray gown?

M.

Having had many x-rays I have had many an occasion where it just was more convenient to take off my shirt right on the spot.

Just happens sometimes.

Most of the time there is a dressing room.

Bro. Rudick

[talisyn]

I have seen through others that the first few months of deciding to join the LDS church is the hardest. Not only are you going to usually almost completely going to change your lifestyle (i.e. drinking/smoking/premarital sex) and your family will likely try to dissuade you from joining these crazy people but the adversary and his groupies are going to go all out to try to get you back

Just remember how you felt when all the world was at peace in your heart and mind. This impression is strong because it's what's going to hold you up when the winds of doubt blow around you. Have you tried not just going to church but fasting while you attend with purpose in mind? You have been blessed with a testimony, now is the time to nourish it and hack and slash at the weeds that are trying to choke the life from it Jacob 5

is a good analogy, substitute your faith for the tree (like I did when I pondered my own testimony).

I hope I helped a bit. I hope you feel better about getting baptized. I can promise you it will have life-altering consequences, and I can promise you that the gift of the Holy Ghost can make it all worth while.

[marshac]

Jorsen-

I see so much of myself in what you just wrote....

I grew up in a methodist church and attended church until I was old enough to put up sufficient resistance... at which point sunday became another day to sleep in. It wasn't until college that I went back to church- this time on my own terms. I went to a Presbyterian church, and the following year joined the youth group as a highschool youth group leader..... you talk about roller coasters.... over the next year I went from a spiritual high, to a real spiritual low and left the church.... you see, for me the motto "question everything" isn't just a mantra, it's how I live my life. Anyways, long story short, I eventually stopped going to church.

Years passed, and last year I felt a.... stirring. I can't tell you what started it, but I was compelled to investigate the church- I read everything I could find (sounds like the same stuff as you), and eventually decided to act. Like you, I knew about my own roller coaster ride, and didn't feel like repeating that same experience- I wanted to make sure that whatever my next move was, it would be one I could live with. One of the 'requirements' was that I wouldn't have to (no offense anyone) "turn my brain off"- I LOVE science, and I don't believe that science serves to disprove religion....but when religion tries to disprove research based on theological reasoning....it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. This is one of the reasons why I like the church.... the official position is to leave science to the scientists! That's the kind of enlightened thinking that I can live with.

I've now been a member for ~3 months, and while I can't say it has all been sunshine and rainbows, but for the most part, it has been good.

At some point you'll have to simply take that leap of faith that you're making the right decision. For me, this was the right decision. Also, please don't think that just because one is LDS that they can't simultaneously believe in evolution. Some don't, some do. I'm of the later opinion, but that's OK! You're not automatically excluded :)

Send me a PM if you would like to discuss anything with a recent convert- the site is open 24/7, as is my inbox :)

[ploomf]

I can sympathize with you. I had a time in my life when I was caught in a tug of war between the peace the spirit can bring and doubt. I listened to the doubts and became inactive. I was miserable, spiritually I was a wreck. I missed the church, I missed the person I was when I was going to church but every time I tried to go back the doubts just came rushing back in. I even looked at other churches during that time but nothing I felt at other churches even came close to the spirit I felt in the LDS church. I finally decided that I knew the church was true and I was going to stay active in it no matter what. It was hard at first, at times the tug-a-war in me was almost painful but it got easier and finally one day I realized all my doubts were gone and all I felt was the peace of the spirit.

I would also caution against anti-mormon sites. Those sites were what led to my doubts in the first place. That scripture Dravin quoted is so true, when I was active in the church I came away from my church activities filled with peace and joy, I was more patient with people, and just an all around better person. After visiting those anti-mormon sites I would come away from them angry, short tempered, filled with doubt, basically feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

Oh and I can sympathize with how daunting all the commandments can seem at first. My mother sounds a lot like your wife, loves God, doesn't see the need for religion. I was raised to believe in God but not to worry a lot about commandments, when I thought it would be really hard to keep all these commandments but you know, it wasn't. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination but it wasn't the daunting impossible task I thought it would be. And the blessings of the spirit more than make up for any difficulty or discomfort.

[freckleface]

Hi Jorsen,

You know people who have panic and anxiety tend to over analyze things and get a little too obsessive in their thoughts. We tend to pick things apart and then get negative thoughts ruminating in our head. Then the "what if" pattern sneaks in. I've had issues with anxiety and panic too. Agoraphobia anyone? It's not fun.

I was baptized in February of this year and I haven't looked back once. It was a beautiful experience and I'm glad I finally did it. This past Sunday I actually got up in front of several people and read scriptures and really enjoyed it! No panic what so ever.

I agree with others here who have commented that it might be a good idea to stay away from things that are negative concerning the church.

Stay positive and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[mlbrowninwa]

jorsen,

As some have posted before, I have been in your boat over the last few years myself. I have bounced around from church to church, but have always landed back at the LDS church. I have always enjoyed attending and felt at home there. I too read all the anti websites and took a honest and long examination of all i could find. This Saturday at 5pm I will be baptized and be the first person in my family as far as I know to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Stop reading all the anti sites. There are people everywhere that help Satan put doubts in your head about what you are doing. Follow the Spirit. You don't need to explain yourself to people you work with. I'm always up for intelligent conversation, but will not listen or participate in arguments from people that have no intention of listening to or respecting my views or opinions. For me I had to finally put down all the books and stop visiting web sites including this one for a while. I read nothing pro-LDS or anti-LDS. I went to Heavenly Father in prayer daily, most of the time several times a day. I read the Bible and the Book of Mormon daily. It wasn't long that I received my answer and knew the church was true.

At that time I was converted in my mind. I started the meetings again, set a baptism date, and started living the words of wisdom. Stopped smoking, drinking coffee and tea, cold turkey from day one. Each day my testimony becomes stronger. Go to church, read the scriptures, and as they say, faithfully ask for answers through prayer. Heavenly Father loves all of us and is there for us always. Good luck.

[Traveler]

My advice is simple. If you want to learn about mathematics then learn of mathematics from someone that is an expert in mathematics. I do not recommend you try to learn from someone that does not believe in mathematics or someone that has failed mathematics. They may have opinions about mathematics but it will not help you to learn anything useful about mathematics.

If you want to learn about Catholics then contact the Catholics, if you want to learn about Baptist then get your information from the Baptist. Do not try to learn about being a Catholic from a Baptist.

You are confused because you method is flawed. If you want G-d’s opinion on the matter then I suggest you bring it up with him. Now I will give you one more thought but I will precede that thought by telling you that I am LDS. I think you should become LDS and do all you can to live loyal to you covenants that you make to become LDS.

BTW I am also a mathematician and I believe that you should learn and use as much mathematics as you can.

The Traveler

[Snow]

A few weeks now...I have not attended the Ward nor talked to the missionaries. Surely I feel so bad for being such a spiritual roller coaster. One day I feel good about the gospel...the next day I feel "well maybe there is nothing to this" and I relish in evolutionary theory or divination or other new age spiritual thoughts.

My problem is that I feel no peace or comfort in evolution or atheism. I feel none of it. However, because of all this anti mormon stuff and evolutionary things that make sense to me, I don't trust my 'spirit' anymore.

What's this about evolution?

I'm devoutly LDS and I understand that the theory of evolution is valid. That's a matter of education, not religious hoping and wishing.

[jameslentz]

He left and after that I had such a spirit of peace on me like I had not felt in a long time...He had a spirit with him...that I had not felt since I had been to that church.

I immediatly went home and began reading the Book of Mormon and "A marvelous work and a wonder" by Legrande Richards? I was even reading a little bit from time to time from "The Articles of Faith" by Talmage.

I felt so spiritually enabled for the first time in so long...I told my wife how she felt and she felt good about it and mostly wanted to support me.

-Jorsen

Here is a talk directed more at the youth but really applies to anyone and I certainly have found it helpful:

Remember How You Felt - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

We are all praying for you and pulling for you because you are our brother and we love you, just as our Father in Heaven loves you.

I also agree with the others above that as you become more serious in your dedication to following the gospel, Lucifer will try with all of his might to persuade you against it. All of these trials should serve as signs that what you are doing is what God would want you to do.

I believe that once the Spirit testifies to us that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God then shortly thereafter the adversary begins his attack to change our minds. If you have received that witness, grasp it with all your might and do not let go, trust in the Lord, have Hope in what is to come and endure all things.

From Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin - "Come what may and love it".

[rameumptom]

I agree with the concept that we must follow the path that brings us peace and hope.

The world offers us confusion. You will not feel peace by listening to it, as Satan cannot bring a person peace.

Only the Spirit can whisper peace to your soul. The question isn't whether there are flaws in the LDS Church. There are. The question is, does this bring the Spirit of Christ into your life, filling you with peace, hope, and joy? If so, then follow it. Don't worry about the doubts. Life is full of doubts, and we can easily talk ourselves out of happiness by listening to all of the shouting that goes on in the world today. Listen to the still, small voice of peace. It will only lead you to greater joy and peace.

[bytebear]

One advantage to being baptized is that you will be given the gift of the Holy Ghost. Right now you are feeling his influence here and there. After baptism, at your confirmation you will be given the greatest advantage you have have in this life, which is to have that guiding light with you always. It is real, and you will know the difference, and I think you really need it. Don't worry about being perfect, or trying to live up to your commitments. That will come, and you may fall, but having that gift is far more important than worrying about not measuring up. I urge you to call the missionaries today, and set up an appointment for baptism, as soon as possible, and I mean it. Don't wait a week or a month. You know the gospel enough that they have done their work teaching you. Just do it. You will not regret it.

[Maya]

Actually Reumpton already said it... but: What is it that talks peace in your mind? When and where, do you feel happy?

[LDSVALLEY]

I did not have the time to read all the answering posts so forgive me If I say things you have already heard. Instead of offering tons of advice I would like to share my story.

My wife and I talked about religion before we were married, we believed in God and Christ but not organized religion. After our first child was born we looked into organized to provide some structure for our family. So the children understood a higher responsibility then what man says is okay in the moment.

At 29 (14 years ago) while we were considering things Missionaries knocked on our door for the first time in my life. I told them I am the biggest skeptic I know, I look for all the angles, I don't join anything and that they could talk to us but would never brainwash me into joining their cult. Their reply shook me, they said they were here to provide some teaching and knowledge. They had no intention of converting me to anything, God would take care of that.

I looked at every angle, and found many things to think, ya they say that but it is in their best interest too. I only had two problems with tossing them out the door.

1 If I was a teenager I might make up something like God told me to not join any churches. I mean kids are kids. But after I was made fun of, beaten up, stoned, tared, eventually driven out of different places would I continue to say it was true? After the first beating it would be you know what I made it up your right sorry. He stuck to his story.

2 three times I did as the Missionaries suggested and prayed to know if it was true and each time I was told it was.

That was 14 years ago and I've been an active member ever sense. Logic told me that #1 had to be true, it was the only thing that made sense. #2 gave me a spiritual experience I had never had before. If those two things were true then the only logic that applied was that it was all true. Even if at the time I could not find the logic because by reference point was outside the centers to see the logic in it.

Now as a Mission Leader and responsible for Investigators and New Members allow me to offer the following generalization. Us men especially are guilt of trying to understand too much. I have learned that most spiritual things can not be fully understood until we are at a spiritual point to see the gospel viewpoint not mans viewpoint of things.

Even items like multiple marriage in the early church made perfect gospel sense for the time. ( with no welfare services and many men dying how else could the Lord help the church take care of all the widows and young children etc.)

Was there things like racism among individual members long ago? Of course, we carry what baggage we had in the world into our new church world just as some racists still join today. The good thing is those who truly wish to be gospel oriented will change over time.

When we look at the early church we have to put things in context for what the times were back then. The Lord usually only does things which seem slowly to us because our time reference is different.

Now something I tell people new to the church, we all must grow into the gospel, none of us are perfect we all have strong gospel points and weak ones. It has taken me 14 years to get to the point I am in the gospel. We have repentance to help when we don't measure up to the Lord's standard and why there are callings like mine to help people. My daughter in September could not get a sound out of a flute literally. In March she was the highest scoring beginner flute in a large area competition. The difference is she practiced playing every day until she could do it. It is the same with all LDS we must practice to become what we want to be and the members of the Ward should be there to support you in it.

The spirit can guide you at first but when you spend too much time looking and don't take the plunge it can not continue to be with you but then Satan knowing this likes to jump in and fill the gap which leads to the questions etc.

I will end with the warning that you are correct it will change the dynamic of your family, sometimes things can be tough as everyone struggles to deal with a major dynamic shift, even if the others do not join. But with 14 years of experience behind me I will let you know it is so worth the effort. Even if the church was not true (it is beyond question) an organization that preaches, love, family, commitment, good works, community and responsibility is worth any rough spots beyond measure. My family would be divorced by now if not for our commitment to the teachings of the gospel.

Stop worrying and get wet

[Misshalfway]

Thanks for sharing your honest story with us. I enjoyed reading it. And I think you are at an important place in your journey. I think perhaps you are learning what many of us need to learn........that you must act BEFORE you get all the answers and before God settles the honest questions in your heart. The scriptures tell us that we get no confirmation of our faith until AFTER the trial of it. That means you gotta DO what Moses did. You gotta walk into the water and believe that God will part the sea.

Sounds to me like you have done your study and that you have felt the Spirit of the Lord. You must act on the Spirit of the Lord now. Then the Lord will meet you on the other side of that action with abundant blessings.

I have felt the doubts and I have argued the Mormon case in my mind over and over. I have been a member all my life. I now characterize myself as a failed apostate as I have tried to leave the church but failed because of all the spiritual evidence in my life. I have come up against fear and doubt again and again. I have been tempted to dismiss this religion based on the arguments of atheism. I have no faith in any other Christian denomination. All good tries.....but all lacking so much. So for me the question was either I am a mormon or an Atheist. And the ONLY thing that has helped me settle the question is prayer and then learning to walk into the darkness in faith. And I must tell you that God has met me on the other side with tender mercies and calm assurance. Sometimes I think being an atheist would be easier. But then I can't think of living life without the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Mormonism wins every time for me.

Go forward in faith my friend. Be baptized. Hand the worries you have concerning your family relationships to God. He is good at moving mountains and calming storms. He will give you the tools you need or he will change the landscape of things. TRUST. And then wait for the hand of the Lord to be revealed.

Don't for get your basics. Faith without works is dead. Keep prayer and scripture study close to you. And remember the blessings of the Holy Ghost you will receive after baptism. Receiving the Holy Ghost alone may help calm the concerns of your heart. And anyway.....if this church isn't true and there isn't a God, then what have you really lost?

[jorsen]

My sincere thanks for everyone's replies...both here and through PM's.

The unbelievable sincere responses from everybody has been a real blessing.

I've been reading these replies daily over the last day or so...many of them multiple times.

Last night...I was sitting down and talking to my wife about some of these replies. I was talking about the struggle I was having...how happy the spirit makes me feel and that there is 'something about this church that just will not leave me'.

For example, when that gentleman walked into my X-ray room and I realized he was a Mormon it was as if someone placed a mirror in front of me and I immediately saw where I was and where I had been. I saw a spiritual reflection and I suddenly realized where I was and how far I had gone in the wrong direction. Immediatly I felt the spirit on this man...the same spirit I had felt many times at church that I had not felt in a long time.

Anyway...too continue my post...I was talking with my wife last night about these things...and the struggle I was continuing to have...and what happens you might ask? Ahh...nothing but a knock on the door...who could it be? Who Else! The Elders made a random visit last night. They suddenly 'felt' to come by unannounced. I was never so happy to see the Missionaries as I was last night. I bore my heart and soul to them over these issues and the calm and peaceful spirit I felt from them gave me an assurance that I needed to help me have peace.

I have kept my scriptures close to my heart today...reading them often as work would allow. I have not tried to be rude about it at work...usually I am the shy type so I would not read scriptures in public, however, my earnest desire to continue to read was too much to hide today.

I have prayed a little bit...compared to 'never' and I felt peace each and every time. I came home today and I told my wife that did not want to wait any longer. I have felt this strong feeling all day to 'just follow me....follow your heart' and it has lead me to baptism.

My wife and I are scheduled to be baptized not this weekend but next weekend on the 27th. I am so excited. I know that I might be tried hard this week but I am going to pray through it. I can't give up now...I'm not going to let the adversary stop me now. He has stopped me so many times in the past...so many times have I became depressed and saddened as I would fill my mind with things that only brought me pain and anguish.

A leap of faith indeed...but I suppose that is why it is called faith isn't it?

I am truly thankful for the support and kindness...I have been soaking it up like a sponge over the last couple of days...

-Jorsen

[bytor2112]

My wife and I are scheduled to be baptized not this weekend but next weekend on the 27th

Awesome!!! Your life is going to change in ways you can't imagine.....congrats!!:):)

[jorsen]

Actually Reumpton already said it... but: What is it that talks peace in your mind? When and where, do you feel happy?

I genuinely feel happy when I am surrounded by those from the church. The 'spirit' on them is genuinely attractive. Almost like happy juice or something...I have found it almost impossible not to be extremely elated after every visit from church and or a house visit from Elders or church members.

It is typically my 'private research' into toxic things that causes my pain.

I have also found that whenever I read the scriptures...whenever I read books from the church I feel peace. One of my favorite books I enjoy reading is 'Teachings of Presidents of the Church, Joseph Smith' I have found that book to be a blessing each and every time I read it.

I have had multiple times in my life where I have felt the adversary grip me in such a grasp of fear and despair that I was assured I would collapse to sudden destruction. Joseph Smith's account of that very thing resonates strongly with me...as do a lot of the churches teachings.

[JohnnyRudick]

. . . I am truly thankful for the support and kindness...I have been soaking it up like a sponge over the last couple of days...

-Jorsen

I truly am happy for you:)

Now remember,

Keep away from those Anti-Mormon people:o

No good will come of it believe me.

Welcome to your New Home;)

Bro. Rudick

[mlbrowninwa]

Jorsen,

Congrats to you and your wife.! This is great news!

[Maya]

Congratulations of the babtismdate!

I remember when I was searching. I have always lived close to God. So I searched in many religions too. I remember as I felt so happy as I learned about LDS but my family was against it. I sat on a high chair in my mothers kitchen and cried and told my mother and my ex that it was MY life, I needed to decide and this felt right for ME.

After the babtizement a great undiscribable peace fell over me, I KNEW I had done the right thing. I had had trouble with sleeping before... (all the earthly problems and will of doing the right thing)... I still sleep like a baby after 30 years. I still believe after all the problems I have had on the way. I stil know that God loves us all and they say the trials are to make us better. Sometimes I feel they are not trials, but real attacs by the adversary trying to get us down. But let us not flinch! Or we may be forced on his side.