lost87 Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I know I start way too many threads and ask way too many questions, but you guys have been really helpful over the past couple weeks and I really appreciate it....I called my bishop this afternoon to ask about setting up a time to meet with him and maybe see if it was possible to meet with him regularly (i really think that would help). When he called back though he seemed annoyed and frustrated. before I talked to him I was worried that I was wasting his time, and now i feel that even more after talking to him. Should I just do it on my own and not ask for his help? I feel really bad for taking so much of his time, and I feel like he doesn't know what to do to help anymore because he has tried everything and I just keep failing anyways...it is all my fault and I know I am choosing to fail so i feel bad conttinuing to ask for his help, at the same time though It is start to get really hard to keep from doing things that I was doing before, and I still can't feel ANYTHING spirit wise, no matter how much time i'm on my knees or in the scriptures or crying...there just isn't anything. I've come close to giving up a few times in the past several days but i really don't want to do that. What should I do with the whole bishop situation? Thanks so much for everyon'e continued support. You all have NO idea how much that helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Hi Sweetie. I wish I didn't know how you feel, but I do. Bishops are interesting animals. We are told to go and counsel with them and seek them out for doctrinal or personal support. But sometimes it is a gamble whether or not they are even able to meet our needs. Some bishops are better administrators and once in a while a real gem shows up and he is able to go the distance with someone like you or me. While they are the fathers of our congregations, they are not therapists and rarely understand the problems you are struggling with. I don't know what the answers are. I don't know if you should continue to seek help from a person that may not have the kind of wisdom and patience you need. I know in my situation, which was a little different than yours, that our therapist made the biggest difference. I could go to her every week. I could email her or call her on the phone in difficult moments. I know a lot of bishops who know they don't have adequate offerings but who offer to pay for therapy for the members. Is there any way you could take advantage of something like that? One thing I know for sure.....we have to take responsibility for our own healing. Recovery can be a very lonely road. But know you aren't alone. The Savior is there even when we can't feel Him. And there are some of us....even if it is only over the internet who have been down similar roads who can help. It wouldn't hurt if you talked directly about this issue with your bishop. Ask him directly his feelings about this situation. Explain to him what your need set is and what role you need him to play. Educate him with LDS talks and information from LDSSS. I have found myself in the position of educating my bishops so they can help me. I know it isn't suppose to be that way.....but I don't think that all bishops are prepared for the kinds of difficulties are facing these days. They certainly fail sometimes to understand how the recovery and repentance processes work together. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I don't know your issues, and haven't looked at your other threads to find out, but I am reminded of the guy who prays for patience, and demands that God give it to him right now. Sometimes we regress and give up before we give ourselves a chance to improve. Maybe your bishop sounded impatient with you because you haven't given yourself enough time to deal with your issues properly. Or perhaps he sounded annoyed to you because you are a little annoyed with you. I have found that sometimes little problems seem like bigger problems than they really are simply because we spend too much time worrying about them or we fail to take positive action to fix the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havejoy Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Maybe he's annoyed that you didn't go thru his secretary to set up the appointment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 (edited) The bishop is not a therapist or an addiction counselor. He simply doesn't have the time or the training to give you the weekly (daily! :) ) attention you need. If you ask him to do so (which is tempting), you're putting him in a somewhat awkward position. My experience with the type of issues you describe is that the bishop wanted to see me monthly or every other month; so long as I was giving weekly progress reports to a third person of my choice. Edited July 17, 2009 by Just_A_Guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost87 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 k, thanks everyone. i'll just handle it on my own. I should expect him to give me more of his time. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost87 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 i meant SHOULDN'T not should....oops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I thought the error was funny. It made me laugh a little. Thanks for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 lost87, just a thought based on a little expierence and wisdom. Perhaps your Bishop is somewhat perplexed as to how to help you? Just for arguements sake, suppose he has counseled with you and made several suggestions to help you. However either you haven't devoted suffiecent time and/or energy to do them and give them a chance to work? While I have no way of knowing your circumstances nor do I need to, it does take time to and hard work to progress and foresake bad habits and/or addictions and sins. God will always listen to your pleas but you likewise have to be willing to listen to the promptings of the spirit and Gods answers may not happen as fast as you would like. I would suggest you take one hour, day, etc. at a time and feel free to discuss all of this with your Bishop. He has the keys and the power of God to help you, but it does take a lot of effort on your part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted July 18, 2009 Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 Please remember....when calling a Bishop at home he is a human being....you are not bothering him. Also remember when you are a Bishop, you get alot of phone calls. Some nights the phone rings all evening, one call after another. You don't know the situation at his home when you call him. For instance, perhaps you just called and woke him up, or he and his wife might have been in a heated discussion(no way a Bishop argue with is wife....not a chance) or maybe one of his kids just wrecked the car and just found out about it and then you call with your problems and feel he didn't respond the way you wanted him to. Perhaps another member of your Ward just called him and cussed him out on the phone about something(what church members cuss, no way).My opinion and what do I know....I think you are judging him too harshly....give him a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadams_4040 Posted July 18, 2009 Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 I know I start way too many threads and ask way too many questions, but you guys have been really helpful over the past couple weeks and I really appreciate it....I called my bishop this afternoon to ask about setting up a time to meet with him and maybe see if it was possible to meet with him regularly (i really think that would help). When he called back though he seemed annoyed and frustrated. before I talked to him I was worried that I was wasting his time, and now i feel that even more after talking to him. Should I just do it on my own and not ask for his help? I feel really bad for taking so much of his time, and I feel like he doesn't know what to do to help anymore because he has tried everything and I just keep failing anyways...it is all my fault and I know I am choosing to fail so i feel bad conttinuing to ask for his help, at the same time though It is start to get really hard to keep from doing things that I was doing before, and I still can't feel ANYTHING spirit wise, no matter how much time i'm on my knees or in the scriptures or crying...there just isn't anything. I've come close to giving up a few times in the past several days but i really don't want to do that. What should I do with the whole bishop situation? Thanks so much for everyon'e continued support. You all have NO idea how much that helps! no matter how bad it gets, dont give in. the advesary is doing all he can to make yu give up because yu are doing excatly what he does not want yu to do. his mission is to keep families away from the Holy temple; hang in there keep trying to seek doing the things yu know are right, satan will fail; yu will be very very happy.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost87 Posted July 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 thanks palerider...i hadn't thought about those possibilities...they do make sense though. i have no idea what i am going to do, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost87 Posted July 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 changed...thanks for that story....I so wish i had access to those groups, but where I live the closest meeting place is 400 miles away...I've worked through the program and workbook but am still stuck and that made me feel even worse because that program was supposed to help me feel better and I just got worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted July 18, 2009 Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 Maybe he's annoyed that you didn't go thru his secretary to set up the appointment.That's exactly what I was going to say. Unless the Bishop has instructed you otherwise, all appointments with him should be scheduled by the Ward Executive Secretary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost87 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 I spoke with my bishop today at church and completely misinterpreted his tone over the phone...I feel bad now for ever questioning his desire to help me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Glad you feel better about things. Just like over the internet..it's hard to interpret words without seeing facial expressions etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prodigal_Son Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Glad you feel better about things. Just like over the internet..it's hard to interpret words without seeing facial expressions etc.Geez, Pam! Ease up a bit. You don't have to scream at her like a lunatic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Oh wait..I get it. Humor arrrrrr arrrrr arrrrr. Okay I'm a little slow at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted July 21, 2009 Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 That's okay Pam, we all understand and have been more than willing to wait numerous times for you to catch up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted July 21, 2009 Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 That's okay Pam, we all understand and have been more than willing to wait numerous times for you to catch up. where is the laugh button......:lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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