Disciplinary Council

[lost87]

I met with my bishop yesterday which was a very big blessing, we talked for a long time and I feel a lot better about things now. I told him how I feel like I've hit a wall, and that everytime i try to repent I hit this same wall and can't find the strength to get over it and end up just going to back to sin. He asked me what I thought about a disciplinary council...he said he never asks people their feelings on it or opinion so he wasn't sure why he was asking mine, but he wants to know. I told him that I wish he could just decide if it was necessary, and he said "oh, I can, and I usually do, but I'd like to know what you think about it". Im not sure what to think. It absolutely terrifies me, but at the same time i think it would be really helpful to me. Anyhow....I was wondering if you guys knew anything about a discplinary council...any information would be great so I can try to figure out what my opinion is...at the moment I am kinda just wanting to tell him that I believe he has the authority to know what will help most and that I'll trust whatever he decides...but i'm not sure thats what he wants to hear.

Thanks

[NeuroTypical]

I've never been through one. Disciplinary councils involve more people than just the bishop, and are a little more formal. Their purpose is the same as the Bishop all by himself - to help the member repent in every way possible.

I've attended two of them in my duties as seceretary or clerk. I've found the men in that room to be very dedicated to helping, and very understanding.

It looks like the Bishop is giving you a couple of options. Maybe handle things with him alone, or accept a group of righteous priesthood holders, maybe pulling from a wider base of experience.

I have sat in the 'hot seat' and been through a period of informal probation with my Bishop. It was one of the most freeing, tender experiences of my life - over an issue that really needed a soft hand. I can heartily recommend the process.

LM

[pam]

Don't think of it so much as a "disciplinary council" but as those that have your best interests at heart. They want to help you to get back on track. They do it out of love not out of some feeling of having to discipline. Yes many times they have to take action. Here is a talk you might want to read:

LDS.org - Ensign Article - A Chance to Start Over: Church Disciplinary Councils and the Restoration of Blessings

[Just_A_Guy]

I'd just tell your bishop pretty much the same thing you wrote here.

[havejoy]

Don't be terrified. I've been thru one and came out of it disfellowshipped. It was all about love and helping me. While disfellowshipped, I was given reading assignments and prayer assignments. I met with the Bishop every couple of weeks to talk about what I had read and prayed about. We talked about my progress and he genuinely showed me love. It was a good thing.

Edited July 20, 2009 by havejoy

[Guest Alana]

Wow, I was in the exact same place as you, feeling like I was stuck and a disiplinary council was EXACTLY what I needed. In fact, I can't rant and rave and feel more positively about them. I was stuck in a rut. I felt as though I was doing everything I needed to do but I wasn't feeling the way I needed to about the things I needed to repent of. I felt a lot of sorrow but it was hard to understand the severity of my sins.

The interview for the disciplinary council was a little more specific than previous interviews, and it was actually wonderful to fully confess things to these loving men. One of the greatest blessing of the disciplinary council was after the bishop and his councilors prayed in private for an answer. When they came back out to talk to me, I could see in their faces that they were really feeling the Spirit. It was very beautiful and it's made my testimony grow. There were a few things outlined that I needed to do or not to do (public prayer, no sacrament etc) and I'm also grateful for this part of the process. Being formally asked to not do these things helped me reflect on the importance of those things and what I voluntarily gave up by sinning. It helped me understand better the atonement and the importance of the sacrament.

The process felt a bit more personal, which can be hard when sin is concerned and you're going to your priesthood authorities, but on the flip side of that, to see the Lord work directly through those men was wonderful, especially when it's for you.

When there is a disciplinary council, the Spirit will direct your Bishop and his councilors, very directly, and that is a blessing to you and them. It was exactly what was needed to help me progress at that point, and I had been struggling for years. If one is scheduled for you, it's ok to be a little nervous, but just know that what is supposed to happen, will, and that can be a great strength to you.

[lost87]

Alana i wish I could push the thanks button a million times....thank you so much! and everyone else who commented as well. I thought about it a lot and just finished a letter to my bishop that i dropped in the mail box. I basically said that if he thinks that is necessary, i think it could be very helpful and believe that the answers are coming from the Lord through him.....I hope i don't regret that letter in the future, but I don't think that i will. Thanks again.

[lilered]

lost87 - I would suggest to you, that if a Diciplinary Counsel is indeed called, and you have the opportunity to confess, that you indeed cleanse your sould so that you can proceed knowing that you have held nothing back and progress with a clean slate. Remember these courts/counsels are really made up of righteous men with loving spirits and are done so with your best interests at heart and are guided by the Spirit.

[rameumptom]

Sometimes we need something very painful in our lives to cause us to make true and lasting changes. Alma 32 tells us that sometimes the Lord compels us to be humble, when we will not humble ourselves sufficiently. If you are bouncing between sinning and repenting, either the sins are too pleasurable, or they are not painful enough. Once you feel enough remorse and hatred toward the sin, you will no longer desire it.

Visualize the sin, and instead of desiring it, imagine yourself loathing and hating it. Do this twice a day for 3 weeks. You will develop a new habit - one that will help you hate the sin enough to fully repent. Of course, you then have to ensure you do not re-embrace the sin later on. Hating sin must be something we visualize each and every day, so that Satan does not talk us into giving it another pleasurable chance.

If you are unwilling (you'll note, I did not say "unable") to humble yourself, then the Disciplinarian Council may be just the thing to help to compel you to be humble. And perhaps that is why the Bishop asked you the question, so you can determine just what it will take for you personally to accept full responsibility and humbly repent.

[Misshalfway]

While you are working on your spiritual self, don't forget to keep protecting yourself and your environment. Use protective software if you need it. Don't be on the computer during your trigger times. etc, etc, etc.

Guard and nurture your emotional self too. If you feel the need to use, then determine what your real need is. Are you lonely, in pain, bored? And then take steps to meet those needs with things that fill the need. If you are lonely, call a friend. If you are bored, add some fun daily activity to your life like exercise or scrap booking or reading or some other mind stimulating activity that gives you satisfaction.

I would hate to have you go thru the process of a court and not take care of these other necessary areas too. I would think that working the 12 steps and reading necessary self help books would be a great addition to your probationary time.

In short, be like the Alma as he prepared for war. (Alma 50) Put up the timbers and ridges of earth around your city. Put up security towers. Prepare every needful thing.

I think that if you combine all of these efforts, you will most surely succeed.

Edited July 21, 2009 by Misshalfway

[sg33203219]

Hello: Glad to have this opportunity to interact. I have just come back from being inactive and had spoken with the Bishop regarding breaking the law of chastity, after being baptized several years back. Although, I had been active, inactive, none of the previous bishops ad spoken about a counsel or going thru the repentance process and having the council involved.

My present bishop stated it would go thru the ward level and I am wondering what things do they normally have you to do while going thru this period.

Your experience will be greatly appreciated!

I am fearfully, that it might be too devastated and push me back out

[Justice]

The Stake leaders have to get involved when a council is called for a Melchezidek Priesthood holder. The Bishop is the president of the Aaronic Priesthood, the Stake President is the president of the Melchezidek Priesthood.

If you're seeking forgiveness, it's often easy to doubt yourself and the feelings you have about whether or not you repented properly. But, when a council is called it resolves all concern, and when the determined repentance steps have been followed as outlined, it brings a peace and assurance that you are rid of it once and for all.

If you are struggling with abstaining from the sin, or feeling forgiven from the sin, then a council is a very valid option.

[Wisc]

Hebrews 12: 5-8

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

In other words:

the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son

Your bishop is giving you the chance to use your agency to choose to be delt with in the Lord's own way. To bring you over this wall you describe. It wont be easy. It will be worth it.

Edited February 13, 2010 by Wisc

[sg33203219]

Thanks Justice:

[sg33203219]

Do you have any idea what some of the discipline assignments may consists of?

[Justice]

Yes. It's dependant on many things, but it can consist of:

No sacrament

No temple recommend

No callings

No prayers at church

No speaking assignments

And in rare cases people can have their ability to pay tithing revoked (find that in other churches).

This isn't a comprehensive list.

There will also be a list of things they want you TO do, but you can guess what those might be. Pretty basic stuff like say your prayers, read certain books dealing with certain topics, fasting, reading scriptures daily...

[bytor2112]

Five years ago, I had been an inactive member....really not a member, just someone who had been baptized as a teen. During the 21 years prior to full activity, I lived about as far outside of the Lord's standards as could be imagined.

When I first met with my Bishop, I had been active for about three months....it was for an interview to receive the Aaronic Priesthood. We talked briefly about my past....nothing specific. How long has it been since you broke the law of chastity? That sort of stuff. Later....a whole year later, after, endowment and sealing....I went back to relieve my self of my past. What a cleansing experience. I ultimately ended up at the Stake Presidents office and left with these words echoing in my ear....." Brother, I want you to know that the Lord has accepted your repentance." " If you get to the other side of the veil and an Angel stops you, you can tell him your ecclesiastical leader told you that and then it will be on me." Needless to say, I felt very.....clean and felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

No disciplinary council.....but I imagine the experience is much the same.

[marts1]

It's always better, if possible to handle our problems on our own with God's help of course. I'm thinking that is one reason why your bishop is just not automaticaly proceeding with a court or whatever. He's probably sensing through the Spirit you are more capable or stroger then you think.