Unhappy Temple Marriages In The Afterlife

[Bini]

I once cared for an elderly woman that had gone to the Temple with her husband. Mind you, the reason I was there was because she suffered from dementia and could not live independently. So, who knows what really happened in her marriage.. But she had told me many times that he was unfaithful, had beat her and even threatened her life once with a gun. Her husband had been deceased now for many years.

So what happens to these unhappy Temple marriages in the afterlife that are not addressed in this life? If her story was true, would she still be his eternal partner? To me that would seem like an eternal nightmare to be reunited with a spouse that was abusive (physically/emotionally) during life on Earth. Wouldn't any spiritual counseling at that point be too late? Why should the spouse that habitually hurt their partner be given a second chance after they had their chance here on Earth to make things right? IF any of this is the case that is.

[john doe]

If either spouse does not live up to the covenants made there is no promise.

[Just_A_Guy]

The "sealing" is not the ordinance. The "sealing" is the Holy Ghost's approval of the manner in which the parties have lived up to the covenants made during that ordinance.

If the husband really did what he is accused of doing, there is no sealing.

[HEthePrimate]

The Lord is not going to force anybody to remain in an unhappy relationship--he loves us too much for that. If two people have a difficult marriage, I imagine that in the next life they may be allowed to continue working on their problems. There are some things in this life that are more or less out of our control, and I expect they will be taken care of in the next life. For example, I know a couple who have a hard time at least partly because one of them has bipolar disorder, which can create a lot of stress in a marriage. I think that in the next life, that person will no longer have that illness, and the couple will get a chance to work things out. Relationships are precious, and if both people in a marriage want to make it work, I'm sure the Lord will let them go for it.

HEP

[Moksha]

The "sealing" is not the ordinance. The "sealing" is the Holy Ghost's approval of the manner in which the parties have lived up to the covenants made during that ordinance.

By the same token, could this mechanism be used to rectify a sealing that cannot take place due to no provision covering it, but is never-the-less desired?

[Bini]

I've wondered about it for some time. But what has been posted makes sense to me.

Thanks.

[john doe]

By the same token, could this mechanism be used to rectify a sealing that cannot take place due to no provision covering it, but is never-the-less desired?

Sealing, like the endowment and baptism, are 'earth ordinances'. How things get sorted out in the end, we don't understand the mechanism, but we are told that much temple work will be performed during the millenium. Perhaps the veil between heaven and earth will be very thin in the temple? Or maybe something happens at the very end, I don't know or have insight on that. I don't believe that God would separate two people who love each other and are also worthy of being in the Celestial Kingdom any more than He would force two people who don't love each other to stay together.

[NeuroTypical]

So what happens to these unhappy Temple marriages in the afterlife that are not addressed in this life? If her story was true, would she still be his eternal partner? To me that would seem like an eternal nightmare to be reunited with a spouse that was abusive (physically/emotionally) during life on Earth.

The answer I like to give is this: If she is unable to forgive him, she won't need to worry being around him in the Celestial kingdom, because she won't be there.

That's sort of a flip answer, but it does strike home what the scriptures tell us:

Matt. 6: 14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

D&C 64: 10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

I'm not just speaking from a self-righteous position of clueless haughtiness, either. My wife and I have incestuous siblings and unprotective parents to forgive. We could sit there and moan about how awful it would be to have to stand next to these horrible people on the other side of the veil, or we could forgive them. Forgiving is harder, but it's the right thing to do. We really do hope to see them in the Celestial Kingdom, finally free of whatever horrible burdens and reasons they've done what they've done.

LM

[Over43]

If the lady had dementia tneh we'll never know what happened. What we may not understand is the different perspective we will have then. I am sure there are a lot of people, who have been sealed in the temple, who are "sticking out", for the kids, for appearances, etc. But after death, after forgiveness, who knows? I'm sure our first experiences in the here after, will be quite eye opening, and eternally changing.

[prisonchaplain]

The answer I like to give is this: If she is unable to forgive him, she won't need to worry being around him in the Celestial kingdom, because she won't be there.

That's sort of a flip answer, but it does strike home what the scriptures tell us:

Matt. 6: 14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

D&C 64: 10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

I'm not just speaking from a self-righteous position of clueless haughtiness, either. My wife and I have incestuous siblings and unprotective parents to forgive. We could sit there and moan about how awful it would be to have to stand next to these horrible people on the other side of the veil, or we could forgive them. Forgiving is harder, but it's the right thing to do. We really do hope to see them in the Celestial Kingdom, finally free of whatever horrible burdens and reasons they've done what they've done.

LM

Wow. Yes, you speak from experience, but this sits very uncomfortably with me. Just what is forgiveness? Does it really mean she must endure an eternity with one who physically abused her and was unfaithful? My take on eternity is far different. I'd suggest it can simply mean giving one's bitterness over to God. To forgive someone is to release them to God's justice. If they repent, great for them. If not, God will deal with the one who abused or molested his child.

Further, forgiveness does not necessitate trust. I can forgive a child molester--but s/he's not watching my kids--EVER. I can forgive the one who cheated me in business, but we'll not likely be partners again. Jesus even made an exception for divorce, because of unfaithfulness. She must forgive him (or her him), but reconciliation is optional.

[Guest]

Does it really mean she must endure an eternity with one who physically abused her and was unfaithful?

From a mortal perspective, yes, this is scary to behold. But, if he makes it to eternity qualified to stand in her presence, then Christ must have seen him fit to stand there - so, I'm sure she wouldn't mind him there as well...

[will227457]

I say nop to the OPs, the marriage is not binding if one partner does those kind of horrible things....to the poster that seems to think that all should be forgiven do you really think God would hold our inability to forgive such a horrible person over our heads...yeah yeah I know what the scriptures say......

[Hemidakota]

I once cared for an elderly woman that had gone to the Temple with her husband. Mind you, the reason I was there was because she suffered from dementia and could not live independently. So, who knows what really happened in her marriage.. But she had told me many times that he was unfaithful, had beat her and even threatened her life once with a gun. Her husband had been deceased now for many years.

So what happens to these unhappy Temple marriages in the afterlife that are not addressed in this life? If her story was true, would she still be his eternal partner? To me that would seem like an eternal nightmare to be reunited with a spouse that was abusive (physically/emotionally) during life on Earth. Wouldn't any spiritual counseling at that point be too late? Why should the spouse that habitually hurt their partner be given a second chance after they had their chance here on Earth to make things right? IF any of this is the case that is.

As I quoted in another topic - it requires two sealing to make it happen for eternal marriage to be ratified. Based on what you gave, I highly doubt this sealing will be ratified to an unrighteous individual in a sealed marriage and allowed into the highest realm of the Celestial Order.

Shifting gears here, something is missing from the whole picture as I thought about it and whether to mention this or not, to me, it should be mentioned to those who do not have an understanding about Marriage Sealings and how it is ratified for the highest order of the Celestial Kingdom. Like all other gospel ordinances, eternal marriage must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise before it is accepted of God (Reference Justification by the Holy Ghost). Generally, the ratifying action of the Holy Ghost must operate twice in relation to a given couple. First, He may ratify their marriage covenant when they initially enter into that contract, and thus express divine approval of their action. But because the covenant they then make contains contingency clauses—statements that it is made according to their faithfulness—the ratifying action conforms to those stipulations in the contract. As long as the partners remain true to the covenant, its promises are in force, but departure from their commitments breaks the covenant.

Second, the Holy Ghost acts as a Spirit of promise is when the couple make sure their calling and election to an eternal union and have the promise, or guarantee, sealed by the Holy Spirit, that they will come forth in the resurrection to a place of exaltation in the divine patriarchal order of eternity.

This is the seal of which the Lord spoke when He said in a revelation to Joseph Smith: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, if a man marry a wife according to my word, and they are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, according to mine appointment, and he or she shall commit any sin or transgression of the new and everlasting covenant whatever, and all manner of blasphemies, and if they commit no murder wherein they shed innocent blood, yet they shall come forth in the first resurrection, and enter into their exaltation; but they shall be destroyed in the flesh, and shall be delivered unto the buffetings of Satan unto the day of redemption, saith the Lord God." [Read D&C 132:26) According to this statement, the only thing that can break this seal is for a person to become perdition. But should he commit willful sin after being sealed, he himself must pay the debt of divine justice before he comes forth to his exaltation in the resurrection.

One can enter into the first and still be denied as an eternal family if they both do not receive the second seal.