Misshalfway Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (a very short rant) Why is it that it is so hard for humans to admit it when they are wrong? Why is it so hard to own it and apolgize for hurting another person or causing a conflict? Especially when doing so would help heal the situation so quickly? BLAH! Quote
hordak Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) it's a sign of weakness. or so i hear, i wouldn't know. I'm never wrong Edited October 23, 2009 by hordak Quote
Seminarysnoozer Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (a very short rant)Why is it that it is so hard for humans to admit it when they are wrong?Why is it so hard to own it and apolgize for hurting another person or causing a conflict? Especially when doing so would help heal the situation so quickly?BLAH!It's me ... I know you are talking about me. I'll admit right now that I am wrong about 3/4 of the time, sorry ... and the other 1/4 of the time is when I talk with my hubby. Quote
Misshalfway Posted October 23, 2009 Author Report Posted October 23, 2009 I like that. Preemptive apologies! That is good. Perhaps that is what I should send out this year in my Christmas cards. You know....prep for the inevitable flops of 2010. Quote
MountainManWild Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 The sins of pride and arrogance, quite simply put.Even when wrong sometimes people dont feel that they are for silly reasons or justifications.Even when human beings know theyre wrong pride prevents them from admitting it.Especially in today's world where pride,status and power are the operating standards of society.To admit being wrong is to relinquish power and status as well as rank among fellow human beings. Quote
Tarnished Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Dear so and so, Merry Christmas! This year for Christmas I am giving out preemptive appologies, this is to take care of anything I do that may offend you or cause you to become angry with me. It is also for those times when I am right but you think I am wrong. Yes you can use it as that little, "I'm sorry, you were right and I was wrong." Attached to this card you will find 4 preemptive appologies, use them wisely, once they are gone they are gone. Love you and have a great Christmas. Like that? Quote
MountainManWild Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 what if you are never wrong? Then you likely have serious pride and arrogance issues, my friend. Quote
will227457 Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 what if he really is always right? Quote
Dravin Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) (a very short rant)Why is it that it is so hard for humans to admit it when they are wrong?Why is it so hard to own it and apolgize for hurting another person or causing a conflict? Especially when doing so would help heal the situation so quickly?BLAH!Because they don't necessarily feel they are? You may feel they're wrong, other people may feel they're wrong but unless they feel they're wrong the only motive to offer an apology is to make the other person feel better. Actually you've got two things going on in your post, admitting you were wrong and apologizing for hurting somebody else or causing conflict. I can feel and admit I'm wrong but not feel sorry for the conflict. I can also feel sorry for the conflict without feeling or admitting I'm wrong (I can also feel I'm wrong and feel sorry for the conflict). "I'm sorry we had a fight", is not an admission they feel their position was wrong, only that they're sorry a fight resulted from it.It is really easy to think, "They are so obviously wrong they should shelve their pride and admit they are wrong." because it assumes you are right (I know things can be a bit more nuanced than that but a lot of arguments are binary in nature at some level). The funny thing is the person may be thinking the same exact thing about you. How do you know you aren't the one who is wrong, and they are right, and you should be the one admitting things? It is funny, you have a couple arguing. "He should admit he was wrong." stems from the same kind of assumption that his not admitting being wrong stems from, the assumption that one is right. He's not admitting he's wrong for the same reasons you aren't admitting you are wrong.Now in clearly factual cases, "The sun is made of peanut butter." people in my experience will own up to it, but when they won't the reason they don't cop to it would be continued ignorance, or pride, not wanting to admit you were wrong/made a mistake/are fallible. Edited October 23, 2009 by Dravin Quote
Bini Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 I don't have a problem admitting I'm wrong. I've been wrong plenty of times. I have more of a problem apologising for something that wasn't my fault. Such as, hurting someone's feelings because they misunderstood what I meant and that's not my fault but the point is they were still hurt. Quote
will227457 Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Then you likely have serious pride and arrogance issues, my friend.you may be right but im not going to argue with the guy whose name is Dracula spelled backwards..... Quote
Dravin Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) I don't have a problem admitting I'm wrong. I've been wrong plenty of times. I have more of a problem apologising for something that wasn't my fault. Such as, hurting someone's feelings because they misunderstood what I meant and that's not my fault but the point is they were still hurt.It is times like that you call upon the time honored classic, "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt." Usually people aren't perceptive enough to notice (or determined enough to make a fuss over it) you didn't apologize for anything you did but instead simply express sympathy over their distressed emotional state. It's kinda like saying you're sorry when somebody passes away, you aren't sorry for anything you did (unless you happen to be guilty of homicide) but that they find themselves in such trying events.Of course occasionally somebody does pay attention/wants to make a fuss that you aren't actually apologizing for anything you did and they get even more offended then before, at that point I can't say I'm sorry their feelings are hurt, if you are going to be that easily offended and determined to be hurt I think you deserve it. Besides if you absolutely insist on another apology you are bound to get something along the lines of, "I'm sorry you find the English language so difficult to understand and about your tendency to associate malicious motives where there are (were ) none." Edited October 23, 2009 by Dravin Quote
MountainManWild Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 what if he really is always right?Not possible.All humans err at one time or another.It also would defy the laws of the universe and physics in my opinion.Nothing is ever truly 100% even though it may appear to be.Everything always seeks balance.The more it is thrust toward one end or the other, the more agressively it seeks balance. Quote
Elphaba Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 I was talking to my daughter about this last night because I have a problem with this. It's not that I won't admit I'm wrong; rather, it's the timing. I've been really struggling for about six months now, and am very fragile. One day about a month ago I went to visit her, and I started talking about someone she did not want to talk about. Normally I handle these things just fine, as I know she has the right not to want to talk about someone, and I respect that. But this time it just hit me hard, and I started bawling. I was also furious and I stormed out of the house despite my daughter's pleas not to. I KNEW I was wrong, but I could not shake the anger I felt--until I could, and once I did I felt horrible for having thrown such a stupid tantrum. Luckily she showed up at my door the next day and I cried buckets while apologizing all over myself. Like I said I've been fragile; otherwise, I am certain I would not have handled it the way I did. However, even when I am at my strongest, if I've been in a serious disagreement, and I get that angry, I still need some space and time to let it go, but once it's gone, and I can look at the situation from a calmer place, I am glad to admit I was wrong as it is very healing to me. I don't know if this applies to your situation, but there you have it. Quote
Dr T Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 I'm NEVER wrong! (I thought I was once but I made a mistake) Quote
Moksha Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 it's a sign of weakness. I think this expression may have been coined by Marie Antoinette. In any case, apologizing and admitting the exact nature of your wrong is a vital step in the repentance and healing process. Quote
Gwen Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 It is times like that you call upon the time honored classic, "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt." Usually people aren't perceptive enough to notice (or determined enough to make a fuss over it) you didn't apologize for anything you did but instead simply express sympathy over their distressed emotional state. It's kinda like saying you're sorry when somebody passes away, you aren't sorry for anything you did (unless you happen to be guilty of homicide) but that they find themselves in such trying events.Of course occasionally somebody does pay attention/wants to make a fuss that you aren't actually apologizing for anything you did and they get even more offended then before, at that point I can't say I'm sorry their feelings are hurt, if you are going to be that easily offended and determined to be hurt I think you deserve it. Besides if you absolutely insist on another apology you are bound to get something along the lines of, "I'm sorry you find the English language so difficult to understand and about your tendency to associate malicious motives where there are (were ) none."i know someone that as far as i can think has NEVER apologized.... the closest he gets is the "i'm sorry your feelings were hurt" line.for the most part i would agree that it's dumb to be upset at someone so foolish and just let it go.... .lol but (didn't see that coming did ya?) sometimes i think it's justified to not accept such an apology. one time the person i mentioned hurt me really really bad, betrayed a trust. months later he comes to me and says "i did.... for this reason.... i think what i did was the right thing.... i felt much better after i did it.... you can be mad at me if you want to, i'm ok with that" not once did he ever ask why it upset me so badly. i simply said "i'm glad you are ok with it" and walked away. i'm not losing any sleep over it but i will never trust this person the same for such inconsiderate "apologies"... he would have done better to never speak of the situation again than what he did.... but anyway.... life goes on. loli guess my point is sometimes a bad "apology" does more harm than no apology. Quote
Mahone Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Now in clearly factual cases, "The sun is made of peanut butter." people in my experience will own up to it, but when they won't the reason they don't cop to it would be continued ignorance, or pride, not wanting to admit you were wrong/made a mistake/are fallible.Not everyone...These screenshots were taken from a forum called the flat earth society. Now I can emphasize with most skeptics but... Quote
Generally_Me Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Suddenly I understand human nature to a much deeper degree...either that or I just lost a few IQ points...thanks a lot Mahone. Quote
Mahone Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Suddenly I understand human nature to a much deeper degree...either that or I just lost a few IQ points...thanks a lot Mahone.You're welcome. I aim to please Quote
ryanh Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Why is it that it is so hard for humans to admit it when they are wrong?Why is it so hard to own it and apolgize for hurting another person or causing a conflict? Especially when doing so would help heal the situation so quickly?Uh oh! What did I do now? Edited October 23, 2009 by ryanh Quote
Maya Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Hey come on guys, I am NEVER wrong! So I dont need to apologize or admitt anything ... Quote
candyprpl Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Hey come on guys, I am NEVER wrong! So I dont need to apologize or admitt anything ...Just apologize and cover your bases:lol: Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.