Only marry return missionaries!

[Guest mysticmorini]

I hope this topic hasn't been beaten to death. I was wondering what people though about the YW's manuals BASICALLY saying "only marry a return missionary" if all YW fallowed this council(which i know they don't) what is a man who joined after his 20's or a man who didn't go on a mission to do? are they left to converts and non members? even with the women who don't fallow the only marry a RM line it seems like they are stigmatized as well. any thoughts?

Edited February 27, 2010 by mysticmorini
clarification

[pam]

It's been beaten to death. :)

[mikbone]

In 1945, at age 17, He joined the United States Naval Reserve and anticipated participating in World War II in the Pacific theater. He was sent to San Diego, California but was not moved overseas before the end of the war. His tour of duty lasted six months beyond the end of the war, and after it was completed he returned to the University of Utah. He graduated cum laude in 1948 with a bachelor's degree in business management. He did not serve a full-time mission as a youth and married at age 21.

Can you guess who this is?

[Guest mysticmorini]

haha sorry pam guess i'll search next time before i post. maybe something new and insightful will come out of this post.

[Cassiopeia]

I hope this topic hasn't been beaten to death. I was wondering what people though about the YW's manuals basically saying "only marry a return missionary or you won't make it to the celestial kingdom" if all YW fallowed this council(which i know they don't) what is a man who joined after his 20's or a man who didn't go on a mission to do? are they left to converts and non members? even with the women who don't fallow the only marry a RM line it seems like they are stigmatized as well. any thoughts?

Does it actually say, "or you won't make it to the Celestial Kingdom"? No. it does not.

And though the brethren are well meaning, I'm quite sure they understand that marrying an RM isn't necessarily a guarantee.

I married an RM in the Jordan River Temple, both never having been intimate with anyone before our union. We were faithful members of the church and regular temple recommend attenders for years.

We still ended up in divorce. I don't ever hear of anyone stigmatizing a woman for not marrying an RM. I have however experienced first hand what it's like to be divorced and LDS in the Salt Lake Valley...it's a very bitter pill to swallow when you are told, you won't see your children in the Celestial Kingdom, you won't find anyone to take you to the temple again and you certainly won't be there cos you divorced him.

Like anything else in life...it's so easy to make judgments looking from the outside in and through a foggy and cracked glass.

[Jenamarie]

I taught in YW's (along with being a YW myself at one time) and I enver heard the "marry an RM or you won't make it to the Celestial Kingdom" line, nor do I remember it reading it in the lesson manual.

I say being an RM can be a handy litmus test (finding out the young man's reason for going, or their reason for NOT going) for a young woman looking for a potential spouse. I don't think it's a deciding factor for her salvation.

[john doe]

I taught in YW's (along with being a YW myself at one time) and I enver heard the "marry an RM or you won't make it to the Celestial Kingdom" line, nor do I remember it reading it in the lesson manual.

There's a good reason for that: it's because it's not in there.

People need to remember that there are always acceptable exceptions to almost every guideline in the church.

[Guest mysticmorini]

In 1945, at age 17, He joined the United States Naval Reserve and anticipated participating in World War II in the Pacific theater. He was sent to San Diego, California but was not moved overseas before the end of the war. His tour of duty lasted six months beyond the end of the war, and after it was completed he returned to the University of Utah. He graduated cum laude in 1948 with a bachelor's degree in business management. He did not serve a full-time mission as a youth and married at age 21.

Can you guess who this is?

i know this one... is it Russell M. Nelson?

[Guest mysticmorini]

There's a good reason for that: it's because it's not in there.

People need to remember that there are always acceptable exceptions to almost every guideline in the church.

the key word was basically, the phase is not there but it lends itself to that interpretation, i remember in my dating years being told specifically "your such a nice guy, but we need to break up because your not an RM" talk about a punch to the gut.

[pam]

i know this one... is it Russell M. Nelson?

I believe he spent 2 years in the Army Reserves.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I believe he spent 2 years in the Army Reserves.

yeah i think your right, but it was in an american hospital for wounded soldiers.

[JohnOF123]

"only marry a return missionary or you won't make it to the celestial kingdom"

Where does it say this??

[mikbone]

i know this one... is it Russell M. Nelson?

Nope, close though. Gotta look a bit higher.

[pam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mysticmorini

"only marry a return missionary or you won't make it to the celestial kingdom"

Where does it say this??

As John Doe pointed out. It doesn't.

[pam]

It's Thomas S. Monson that Mikbone is referring to.

Edited February 27, 2010 by pam

[Guest mysticmorini]

It's Thomas S. Monson that Mikbone is referring to.

of course referring to the whole non RM think many will quickly point out that it was a different time back then.

[Cassiopeia]

of course referring to the whole non RM think many will quickly point out that it was a different time back then.

Back when? And what does this have to do with the topic?

[Guest mysticmorini]

Back when? And what does this have to do with the topic?

when Thomas S. Monson was of the age to go on a mission.

[volgadon]

Very few at that time were sent on missions.

[Maureen]

Back when? And what does this have to do with the topic?

The expectation for young LDS men to serve a mission became greater in 1974 when Spencer W. Kimball made it almost a requirement.

M.

[pam]

Mikbone was only pointing out, that even someone of a Prophet's status and marrying him would not deny you the celestial kingdom. I can't imagine that his wife won't make the celestial kingdom simply based on the fact that President Monson is not a return missionary.

Edited February 27, 2010 by pam

[john doe]

the key word was basically, the phase is not there but it lends itself to that interpretation, i remember in my dating years being told specifically "your such a nice guy, but we need to break up because your not an RM" talk about a punch to the gut.

Here's a question: Would you really be happy being married to someone who used only a person's RM status as a litmus test for marriage? If that''s the only reason someone could come up with to break up with you then they must be pretty shallow in their thinking and you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

[Guest mysticmorini]

Here's a question: Would you really be happy being married to someone who used only a person's RM status as a litmus test for marriage? If that''s the only reason someone could come up with to break up with you then they must be pretty shallow in their thinking and you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

this is true, however a young man seldom thinks that rationally.

[Jenamarie]

Here's a question: Would you really be happy being married to someone who used only a person's RM status as a litmus test for marriage? If that''s the only reason someone could come up with to break up with you then they must be pretty shallow in their thinking and you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

Incase the "litmus test" was in reference to me... It's not the ONLY thing I used to "feel out" a guy for potential marriagability, but sometimes it could be really telling. There's a difference between someone who's an RM because they felt a genuine desire to serve the Lord, and someone who's an RM because it's the only way their parents would pay for their new car, just as there's a difference between someone who's NOT an RM because they just didn't feel it was important, and someone who's not an RM because they joined the church later in life, or served honorably in the military instead.

Again, it's not the ONLY thing I used to determine if I wanted to get more serious with a guy, but it did often provide some very valuable insights into the young man's character and if it held up to what I hoped for in a potential spouse.

[Wingnut]

I hope this topic hasn't been beaten to death. I was wondering what people though about the YW's manuals BASICALLY saying "only marry a return missionary" if all YW fallowed this council(which i know they don't) what is a man who joined after his 20's or a man who didn't go on a mission to do? are they left to converts and non members? even with the women who don't fallow the only marry a RM line it seems like they are stigmatized as well. any thoughts?

I wonder if you've ever read any of the YW teaching manuals before. They neither say that nor BASICALLY say it either.