Teacher suspended for writing "loser" on girl's paper

[ruthiechan]

I think we really need to focus on the child who was called loser. It appears that she thought it was funny as well, but did she really? Or does she actually feel like people do not like her because of her top marks and is thusly a social loser as opposed to an academic one?

[talisyn]

In my workplace if a supervisor called one of the worker bees a 'loser' he'd be immediately scolded and probably given more training in how to manage effectively (real classes, I've seen the computer programs lol). Why would we expect those who teach small children to behave in a less professional manner? One thing people are forgetting is this is a 6th grader, not a high school or college student. Life may be rough sometimes and yeah our kids are gonna meet rude/mean/not nice people. They should not have to take that behavior from those who are getting paid to teach elementary school.

[Elgama]

What serious context..did you read the story...the kids were all laughing about it...it was a joke!

this was a response to something in the discussion not the original situation. I still think even as a joke its inappropriate because of the knock on effect to the students

[Elgama]

I think we really need to focus on the child who was called loser. It appears that she thought it was funny as well, but did she really? Or does she actually feel like people do not like her because of her top marks and is thusly a social loser as opposed to an academic one?

I don't think her parents would have been bothered if she really wasn't bothered

[marts1]

this was a response to something in the discussion not the original situation.

didn't realize that

[Elgama]

didn't realize that

guessed lol it was in response to someone who said they would expect their son to suck it up if it was meant seriously

[Blackmarch]

Appropriate or not? Special circumstances okay? Your thoughts?

Anderson Cooper 360: Blog Archive - Teacher suspended for writing "loser" on girl's papers « - Blogs from CNN.com

its about as appropriate as putting a "kick me" sign on someone.

Which may or may not be a big deal depending on the situation.

One of my favorite high school teachers did stuff that was similar, it was her nature and how she was, and because she was very involved with the students and one of the most helpful teachers, you knew she was in good spirits and joking around with you if she called you a sphincter mouth or told you not to get pregnant or something like that, whereas when she was pissed off (which was really hard to do) her language was very by the book and official (at least till you did something really really bad... but then the fireworks usually came when no one was around).

It was her class that would take first prize from diffferent art competitions year after year, she was also the teacher that won the teacher of the year vote a few times from students, and even from a multi-school vote (ithink it was utah wide).

Edited March 24, 2010 by Blackmarch

[prisonchaplain]

I don't think her parents would have been bothered if she really wasn't bothered

This may not be true. Some parents feel that context matters not--that it is NEVER appropriate for teachers to "joke around," "be the kids' friend," use "unprofessional" language, etc. They simply have their own very strong opinions about how education should be. I can imagine many cases where a student may beg their parent not to intervene, but s/he does anyway.

[Connie]

I think this type of "joking" is a big problem. It reminds me of my BIL who makes disparaging remarks about my sister's weight and then very quickly adds "but i'm just joking!" But is he "just joking" or is this a form of verbal/emotional abuse? "Be lucky i married you. You're so fat, no one else would." It makes me so mad! Or the visiting teaching partner i had a while back whose ex-husband drew a picture of her with spots all over her face (she had a bit of an acne problem) in her daughter's notebook.

Perhaps there are people who can handle this type of "joking" but i think you'd be hard pressed to find a young girl out there who can. She may be laughing on the outside, but, if she's like most young girls, she's crying on the inside. "You're just a white and nerdy LOSER!"

[marts1]

If this were a friendly joke, do you not think because of the world we live in, that the experience of innocent incidents that this might be, would help people to handle the actual very cruel things that will or have happened to them?

[prisonchaplain]

I think this type of "joking" is a big problem. It reminds me of my BIL who makes disparaging remarks about my sister's weight and then very quickly adds "but i'm just joking!" But is he "just joking" or is this a form of verbal/emotional abuse? "Be lucky i married you. You're so fat, no one else would." It makes me so mad! Or the visiting teaching partner i had a while back whose ex-husband drew a picture of her with spots all over her face (she had a bit of an acne problem) in her daughter's notebook.

My contention is that the joking you've listed here, and the responses of some others is of a different nature than this teacher engaged in. If one mentions weight to someone with a weight problem, or blemishes to someone with acne, then that is just mean. This teacher is using irony. The students get it. He's not labeling honors students losers. He's joking--sorry, you only got an A+!

Perhaps there are people who can handle this type of "joking" but i think you'd be hard pressed to find a young girl out there who can.

Body image is a huge issue with young women--and older women--and many men. But the OP isn't about that. It's not even really about put-downs. The teacher is using irony. Everyone gets that he's giving some humorous attention to the best students. It's funny. Nobody is being insulted.

She may be laughing on the outside, but, if she's like most young girls, she's crying on the inside. "You're just a white and nerdy LOSER!"

If we've come to this, then I fear for the future of education and society. We don't dare be humorous or light-hearted, because some wounded soul is going to misunderstand, and be psychologically scarred.

I'm torn on this because for many, the pain is real, and some people think their taunting insults are "just joking." They aren't funny, it is hurtful, and there is a root of meanness to it. But, because of them, have we lost all ability to understand irony, light-hearted ribbing, and healthy joviality?

Perhaps it was the parent who was a wounded soul, full of hurt on the inside, and ready to take offense at any perceived slight?

[Connie]

My contention is that the joking you've listed here, and the responses of some others is of a different nature than this teacher engaged in. If one mentions weight to someone with a weight problem, or blemishes to someone with acne, then that is just mean. This teacher is using irony. The students get it. He's not labeling honors students losers. He's joking--sorry, you only got an A+!

Body image is a huge issue with young women--and older women--and many men. But the OP isn't about that. It's not even really about put-downs. The teacher is using irony. Everyone gets that he's giving some humorous attention to the best students. It's funny. Nobody is being insulted.

If we've come to this, then I fear for the future of education and society. We don't dare be humorous or light-hearted, because some wounded soul is going to misunderstand, and be psychologically scarred.

I'm torn on this because for many, the pain is real, and some people think their taunting insults are "just joking." They aren't funny, it is hurtful, and there is a root of meanness to it. But, because of them, have we lost all ability to understand irony, light-hearted ribbing, and healthy joviality?

Perhaps it was the parent who was a wounded soul, full of hurt on the inside, and ready to take offense at any perceived slight?

Yes, perhaps it was the parent and, given what we know of the situation, it really does seem to be. The girl did not seem to take it in any bad way, and we have to take her word for it.

My contention is this is still a problematic form of humor. For some people the joking i listed and the humor of this teacher would be the same. As someone mentioned before, they might think he was saying "you may not be an academic loser so you must be a social loser or a physical loser." It would bother many and, at a young age, they might not be able to articulate why. They would laugh because everyone else was. They would think something was wrong with them because they couldn't understand "true humor" as everyone else apparently can, that they must not be able to understand irony. There would be a lack of communication either out of fear or maybe not even understanding why it bothered them since everyone else seemed to think it was funny. A person may not feel safe saying "hey, i appreciate that some may find that funny and hopefully you didn't mean it in a bad way, but i don't really like being teased like that. i don't think it's funny. it hurts my feelings" knowing that some would say "what?! that was hilarious! you must not understand irony or something."

[Connie]

I'm not suggesting we change our sense of humor for a seeming minority (though i think we might all be surprised how many "wounded souls" there are in this world--everyone has issues) but that we be more understanding that people are different in how they see things. And if someone musters the courage to say "hey, that's not funny to me, please don't tease me in that way" we should offer understanding and sympathy instead of incredulity.