Are we teaching our children to be snooty?

[bl8tant]

I fight this fight ALL. THE. TIME.

My 15-year-old is, I'm sad to say, somewhat of a racist. We moved from the lily-white Midwest to California, and he has had a terrible time accepting the idea that his Hispanic peers are just as loved by Heavenly Father as he is. He certainly never learned that from his mother or me, and we're working on it with him.

not_ashamed, you're right: kids have lots of other sources besides what they learn in the home. Our goal as parents is to provide such clear and powerful positive instruction in the home that it will drown out all the other not-so-positive things they get from worldly sources.

[Wingnut]

I am probably one of the least snooty, least judgemental people in the world.

You're awfully snooty in your opinion of yourself.

[pam]

I fight this fight ALL. THE. TIME.

My 15-year-old is, I'm sad to say, somewhat of a racist. We moved from the lily-white Midwest to California, and he has had a terrible time accepting the idea that his Hispanic peers are just as loved by Heavenly Father as he is. He certainly never learned that from his mother or me, and we're working on it with him.

not_ashamed, you're right: kids have lots of other sources besides what they learn in the home. Our goal as parents is to provide such clear and powerful positive instruction in the home that it will drown out all the other not-so-positive things they get from worldly sources.

That's why I'm glad I grew up in an area that had such a wide diversity of cultures. I was a minority growing up in my high school. But it helped me learn to appreciate everyone and the differences and similarities in our backgrounds.

[Boris_natasha]

My children are able to see and be around many people with different viewpoints and racial backgrounds, in church and in school. It has helped me and my husband show them the proper responses to differences, by never overreacting. Although, it's easier said than done!

[Voyager]

My 9 and 7 yr olds also copy my behavior. When they become teens though it is a whole other story. I read your post to say that if my daughter is being snooty it must be because I am . That is simply not true. My concern is that LDS teens are not always accepting of others. That bothers me, because I know heavenly father loves us all the same.

I would also have to agree with dove, that in their teenage years kids are influenced more by peers than my parents. I want my kids to learn that they do not have to live like their peers to accept their peers.

I have seen LDS teens and non-LDS teens interact socially. Sometimes it feels they are from different countries and the LDS young people may seem arrogant, but maybe they are unable to totally understand what the others are talking about, or how they are acting.

[Guest Alana]

When I was a teenager I lived in Santa Cruz, Ca then rural Missouri, central California and a few times in the Puget Sound of Washington State. In each of those places there were snooty kids in and out of church. On average I would not say that the LDS youth were more snooty. None of those places had large LDS populations. Maybe it's different the other way around? Though, central California had the highest concentration of LDS youth (though still a small percentage of the total population), in fact, they were the most popular kids, they were the "in" crowd, and I was shocked to find that they were the nicestest most inclusive kids I've ever met in my whole life. I was shy and not so cool and their friendliness to myself and others was astounding. There are things I learned from there I'm hoping to instill in my own children, it was that surprising of an experience.

So, I guess in my opinion, having high values and wanting to have the same around them, didn't affect their friendliness or their common sense when it came to being friends with those not in the church.

[bl8tant]

That's why I'm glad I grew up in an area that had such a wide diversity of cultures.

That's part of the reason I was so excited about moving. I think kids greatly benefit from exposure to kids of other backgrounds and statuses.

[FunkyTown]

That's why I'm glad I grew up in an area that had such a wide diversity of cultures. I was a minority growing up in my high school. But it helped me learn to appreciate everyone and the differences and similarities in our backgrounds.

I grew up with a very narrow diversity of cultures and didn't really learn anything other than my white bread ways until I started travelling.

That's when I learned a greater appreciation for the differences and similarities in our backgrounds.

(PS: What I mean by that is 'I learned that women with exotic accents are hot'.)

[Dravin]

My appreciation for other cultures starts with food. For instance it wasn't until I had Chicken Fried Stake that I started considering Texans human.

[Vanhin]

I teach my kids not to hang around with trouble makers, or people who don't respect their values. And I teach them that the righteous are favored of God, while the wicked bring upon themselves the wrath of God. I teach them that God, however, loves all of his children, and that we should seek to server one another and bring the blessings of the gospel to others by word and deed.

Regards,

Vanhin

[NeuroTypical]

I teach my kids not to hang around with trouble makers, or people who don't respect their values.

...

we should seek to server one another and bring the blessings of the gospel to others by word and deed.

Navigating the seemingly paradoxical waters of "stay away from bad people" and "bring the gospel to bad people" can be a bumpy ride, but is an exciting journey well worth the price of admission.

(At least it is so far for us.)

[SeekingTruth]

When I was in high school, I found myself often times gravitating toward friendships with the Mormon kids precisely because they were not snooty. They radiated a pureness and goodness that I wanted to emulate. And they befriended me, even as an atheist.

Maybe my experience was a unique one, but I doubt it. The LDS do an excellent job of instilling Gospel values into their families-- something we can all take an example from.

[bcguy]

my lds niece is snooty! We crossed paths in a groshrie store and while two lds members crossed in front of me, I said hi to both. One smiled and said hello :) The other, my niece, briefly looked at me, said mm without opening her mouth and continued to walk on without looking back. What a snot! She is as tall as me so her behavior needs adjusting!

BTW, she is in my ward.

[pam]

I've heard about those people who shop in groshrie stores. They are snooty.

Edited June 15, 2010 by pam

[Just_A_Guy]

my lds niece is snooty! We crossed paths in a groshrie store and while two lds members crossed in front of me, I said hi to both. One smiled and said hello :) The other, my niece, briefly looked at me, said mm without opening her mouth and continued to walk on without looking back. What a snot! She is as tall as me so her behavior needs adjusting!

BTW, she is in my ward.

One of the best lessons I learned was on a sweltering day in central California when I was walking to the courthouse to file some papers for the attorney I was clerking for--I was preoccupied with some minor crisis or other. On the way over to the courthouse I happened across a woman walking the other way, made eye contact briefly, but then looked straight ahead again. She stopped, looked me straight in the eye and very loudly said "you know, you could at least smile at me!"

Sometimes we just get too caught up in our own problems to remember the social niceties.

[pam]

My appreciation for other cultures starts with food. For instance it wasn't until I had Chicken Fried Stake that I started considering Texans human.

And was that served at a "Stake" center?

[zippy_do46]

what Darvin is not saying is that it was the size of a Dinner plate. :)