I'm married because... I'm divorced because...

[talisyn]

I married because that's what you do when you want a family with a particular partner.

I divorced because I'm a daughter of God raising another daughter of God, and it was my responsibility to show the little one that sometimes you have to leave a bad situation after all you can do.

I married because (see first answer)

[rameumptom]

I am divorced because my first wife was not committed to building and edifying the relationship, nor keep her temple covenants. Instead, she focused on changing me to be what she perceived to be the perfect person, and selfishly nagged and criticized me. I personally knew I was imperfect, but also knew I was trying to be a good husband and friend.

I am married because my wife and I are dedicated to our relationship. We made a covenant in the temple to build an eternal relationship, and that is exactly what we are doing. We both work hard to serve one another, express our love to each other many times a day, hug, kiss, and laugh. We try to do things together (over the years we've done square dancing, university classes, and are now serving together as stake/service missionaries for the second time). It requires a conscious effort. It also requires you to improve/change yourself, and not nag at your spouse about changing. But after 24 years with her, I know it is well worth it.

[JudoMinja]

I'm divorced, because I had to protect my son.

I made a mistake getting married when I did and to whom I did in the first place. I was not listening to the spirit, as I had become desperate and determined to hurry things along at my own pace. I was more interested in what I wanted instead of what the Lord wanted. My marriage was a humbling experience, and it was getting divorced that was the right decision. Now, my son and I are safe, and I am closer to the Lord than ever before.

It took my son being put in harms way for me to realize that I had been wrong. I clung to my marriage, because I wanted to make it right. With most anyone else, such an attitude could have worked. Even though my initial decision to get married had been a mistake, once a decision is made to be married every effort should be made to honor that decision. I do not believe in casting such a commitment aside easily. Even in situations with abuse, as long as both are willing to do their part to work it out and receive outside help, I believe in working through all your differences.

However, when safety is at stake, divorce may be the only option. As it was for me.

When I decide to marry again, it will be a more careful decision. I do not plan on going through another divorce, and I certainly do not plan on putting my son in harms way. So, I am divorced and single, because I am being selective. I am looking for a virtuous man, and striving to live a life worthy of the virtue I am seeking. When I marry, it will be to a man strong in the gospel, a man with whom I can work out our differences because we have an equal love for God.

[ZappBrannigan]

I am married because 3 weeks after I met my wife, I knew I would never be happy without her. Unfortunatly it took her awhile longer to see my side (like the year I spent in the friend zone)!

Also, we are married because she was divorced!

[happyending]

I am married because I prayerfully and wisely chose someone with a similar familial background and who is deeply committed to being selfless and making me happy. In turn that makes me want to act selflessly and do things that will make his life easier.

I am divorced because I didn't pray about the match and ignored the counsel of those close to me. I ignored blatant warning signs, which, over time, became habits that caused pain to myself and my children.

[shdwlkr]

I am looking at divorce because I allowed worldly things get in the way. We stopped going to church and paying tithe and the challenge of the kids at home 6 of them with special needs just got to me and I reacted badly and now am paying for it.

If I ever allow someone to get close enough to me to think I love them again it had better be with someone who won't give up on me or them or our relationship. It will be very hard for me to even talk to another woman again as I am still at that totally scared stage of the divorce and only time can work on that.

Some things I would suggest to marrieds is to talk more about family challenges, love more, spend time together as a couple and most of all pray together morning and night as a couple for strength to keep working together. Never let others tell you what is right for you and your spouse and most of all realize that life can pull any of us down and we can react very badly.

I still love the soon to be "ex" it is her who has given up on me and that is just the way things are working out. I am not mad at her, but could never go back into the relationship because of things we have talked about in counseling that I never even realized were issues.

If the marriage is worth saving you may both need to go to counseling and do it with a LDS counselor they do see the big picture.

In the end I and her did fail each other and now we are going in opposite directions. If there are kids try and stay positive in front of the kids and most of don't get into a she said he said fight you both loose if you do.

I really hope someday that there is someone for me to love who will walk with me right up to deaths door, but right now I can not see that, all I can do is pray that is what is ahead for me sometime in the time I have left in this life.

I am one of those guys who hates to be alone but would rather be alone then be hurt like this again.

For the record my first wife was murdered, my second after 20 years didn't want to play house anymore so she decided it would be better if I offed myself so she worked on me mentally and almost won, third wife got the benefit of my military, and the other life issues stated before. I thought I had them all taken care of wrong and so things fell apart.

Make sure before you marry that everything is talked out, talk about sex, talk about kids, talk about what has happened in your past and most of if it could affect your marriage discuss it if not never bring it up ever.

I am in my 60's never expected to be starting all over again and learning how to take care of a house all alone and dealing with a divorce again.

Life is full of pot holes and we can either drive slowly through them, fill them in or make a big deal out of them and destroy a marriage.

Never marry someone you don't want as a best friend and never see most things in marriage as a big deal. Some things just can't be over looked and I accept that.

Live long prosper and do good

[sherman79]

I am currently seperated and not completely willingly. I want my marriage to work and I have done everything to make it work but my husband doesn't want to be married anymore so that he can be the way he was before his mission. So I am getting divorced because when we were dating and engaged I didn't pay attention to the fact that he was still skirting the edges of promiscuity and other vices. I loved him and I was sure that when we were married he would leave those things behind. I told myself that it was because we weren't married yet so that it wasn't really unfaithfulness he was just being a guy.

I am now hoping to just salvage what I do have from this marriage which are my 5 beautiful, smart and talented children. That I can raise them in a faithful home and hopefully teach them to be smarter in choosing their partners than I was. I still love my husband. So for me this hurts more than anything else ever has. I hope that this is the type of post that will help someone who is dating or engaged and seeing the red flags but ignoring them because of the excitement of loving and being loved. If he really loves you he doesn't see other women or tell you about them either. He doesn't look at them and comment about how hot they are. He doesn't sneak around with his non lds friends and drink and womanize and then lie to you about it even though you already know cuz his younger sibling told you. He just doesn't do that if he really loves you. And if he tells you he is picking you over the non lds girlfriend he had before his mission because you are his salvation turn around and run away as quickly as possible. Only he can be his salvation you are only in charge of yours. Never be a man's second choice. Those were the warning signs that I ignored. doesn't matter that he was the one in the wrong I still saw it and I still married him.

[UtahValleyGirl]

Marriage is so complicated.

I am married and happy because I believe in being married. I think that I want to live life with someone rather than on my own. I know that even when it gets bad, that in the long run it's a relationship I want.

My parents are also married because they believe in marriage. But they have both been miserable for the last 20 years. Because they can't figure out how to fix it, but also won't end it, most of their kids can't really have healthy relationships with them.

Based off of observing my parents, I can't believe that "saving" a marriage is always the right answer. I personally wish they'd give up.

[shdwlkr]

If the relationship is dead then yes the marriage is just two people living in the same house. If love and caring, wanting to be stronger together then it can be saved if not then it is just a prison for both parties.

It sounds like they have been together so long they don't know how to be individuals and are scared to find out.

Sorry that you have to see this and realize that the relationship is dead.

[Jazok]

I am married because I thought I met a woman who would give me the emotional intimacy that I desired. I stayed married because I took the counsel of church leaders who insisted that having faith and being active would make it work. I'm staying married because of my kids, especially my youngest--a teen--with whom I've finally been able to build a relationship.

ryanh was speaking for me--I've actually said this in almost the same way to confidantes:

I didn't understand how important compatibility in sexual matters can be - I was ignorant of the possibility of problems as large as I experienced; I did not understand that communication and cooperation during courtship is not always indicative of how those skills will function post-marriage

To which I would add to be more specific: I did not understand that sexuality during courtship (in the context of two temple worthy members) is not predictive of sexuality after marriage.

Ultimately, I am heading for divorce because it's become just too obvious that my wife is incapable of genuine intimacy, both physically and emotionally. To most people, my wife is extremely nice and giving, but she's largely shut me off emotionally to the point where it's become abusive.

Looking back I can now see there were warning flags during our courtship. They weren't obvious, but they were there. Had we dated longer, I'm sure they would have grown too large to ignore. At the very least, we would have worked out several issues before we were married and not tried to after.

I've become one of those who believes all couples should see a truly objective marriage counselor before becoming officially engaged.

Edited November 12, 2010 by Jazok
Clarified a sentence, adjusted grammar.

[cynthia_ann]

I'm divorced because I married at a young age, having few good dating experiences, because I didn't examine how compatible we might be (and found later that we wanted much different things out of life and neither of us were willing to budge), because I was not tolerant, and because we had absolutely nothing in common. In hindsight, not marrying in the temple was a red flag, the fact that we both disliked each other's families as well as those families not really appreciating our choice of spouse played a part, our completely different backgrounds, and lack of communication were huge. Intimacy was a huge problem but I didn't think to discuss it beforehand (would always recommend that btw), religious differences were as well- but as we were both LDS I didn't explore his real beliefs before marriage either. I assumed a lot.

I'm remarried to the love of my life forever because we both took the time to study each other's lives and families before we decided that was what we wanted, because we were best friends (we still stay up till all hours of the night talking- just like I used to w/ my gf's at slumber parties but better), and because we talked about absolutely everything, prayed about it, obtained consent from both our families, and married in the temple. Seriously, we talked about everything. Expectations about behavior, gospel principles, intimacy, children and parenting, homeschool vs. public school, vaccinating vs. not, politics, video games, family situations, what kinds of music we listen to (because there are many kinds I can't handle in the house) what would you do ifs...and much more, because I was worried after that first marriage and didn't want a repeat. I wanted to make sure we were absolutely clear on each others' positions and that after all that we still wanted to be married. I didn't know marriage could be so wonderful! He's perfect for me, and I try my best to make him happy :).

[cynthia_ann]

And if he tells you he is picking you over the non lds girlfriend he had before his mission because you are his salvation turn around and run away as quickly as possible. Only he can be his salvation you are only in charge of yours. Never be a man's second choice. Those were the warning signs that I ignored. doesn't matter that he was the one in the wrong I still saw it and I still married him.

Love it. Absolutely. After seeing the lives now of many of those my dad used to call "social cases" (guys I thought I could help or even those I didn't think that about but who needed help) I can say that you should never marry a man who "needs" you in order to make it. The ones who say they'll jump in front of a truck if you leave them or they'll go back to drugs, or the ones you're trying to help along because they "need" you will make for a difficult life. Not that they're necessarily bad, just that you can't drag someone along after you when you're raising a family. You both need to be able to pull your own weight and be a comfort and support to each other or it gets mighty rough.

[bert10]

Marriages that survive all things are based on "Unconditional Love"

All relationships based on Conditional Love shall end. Because when the conditions which we contract to give out our love changes so does the love. So with time we change so does our love. And we end up in a retaliatory relationship.

Please note it is very hard to leave a person when we are in a relationship that has unconditional love for us. And if both are only concerned about giving out love to each other instead of worrying what is in it for me...that marriage will have ties that bind that cannot be broken. For there is no greater power than Love/charity.

The only help we can give is teachings on correct doctrines and on "Unconditional Love". And if the people are willing to learn healing shall come.

bert10

Let me start by saying i'm not looking down on anyone who is divorced, however i am a bit surprised by the numbers i have seen on this site. And apparently marital problems have become such a "hot" issue they deserve there own board.

Because much of the post here will be "negative and reactive" I.E. Here is the problem how do i fix it. I thought it would be nice to have a positive and proactive thread to help others avoid the problems.

So i ask married people answer the question.

I'm married because I....

And divorced

I'm divorced because because I...

(This isn't a place to air the ex's dirty laundry, and i would like to keep it positive so "I'm divorced because my ex is a jerk" is not the type of answer i am looking for. (even if it is true;))

I'm looking to spread advice to people for things they can control, so others faults wouldn't be useful. I. E. If ex was an adulterer the answer "I'm divorced because ex cheated" would tell other not to marry someone who would cheat, but chances are when you married you did you didn't think they would so the advice is more or less "worthless". But if the ex had these type of problems in the past, and you didn't take that into consideration when choosing them... "I'm divorced because I didn't think my ex's past was a big deal" Would be advice an individual could use.

Looking for personal things you do or didn't do that could help others)

I'm married because i choose my best friend. I wish i could take credit but i stole the idea from my folks who a long and happy marriage themselves. I have seen many put too much stake in what a person is doing, or what they could be not who they are.

"He's going to med school so he will be a great provider"

"She is so good with kids she will make a great mother"

Not that these aren't good quality to look for but what happens when he fails out and has to get a job at McDonalds for minimum wage? What happens when it is discovered you can't have kids?

Think about your best friend in grade school. You didn't hang out with them(hopefully) because they had the coolest toys. And even when their mother said they couldn't come out to play you didn't drop them and if you had some cool activity planed you might have even postponed it so they could do it with you.

I married my best friend, someone i want to air my gripes to, share my joy with, someone i'll postpone the great adventures for, someone who i'm happy with living in a 2000sq ft home minutes from the beaches of Florida, taking vacations twice a year. Or living in an 800sq ft duplex in Cali. with paper thin wall, jerk neighbors, living off Mac & Cheese with a entertainment budget that allows us to buy 1 new board game every 2 months because the cost of living is so high. Because i married my best friend most the external ( i hear money is a a big issue in many divorces) doesn't matter.

My advice. Marry your best friend.

[mrmarklin]

Marriages that survive all things are based on "Unconditional Love"

All relationships based on Conditional Love shall end. Because when the conditions which we contract to give out our love changes so does the love. So with time we change so does our love. And we end up in a retaliatory relationship.

Please note it is very hard to leave a person when we are in a relationship that has unconditional love for us. And if both are only concerned about giving out love to each other instead of worrying what is in it for me...that marriage will have ties that bind that cannot be broken. For there is no greater power than Love/charity.

The only help we can give is teachings on correct doctrines and on "Unconditional Love". And if the people are willing to learn healing shall come.

bert10

I'm not quite sure what you mean by any of this. Sounds like psychobabble to me.....................

Bottom line is that marraige is a tough thing. In my courtship there were red flags that I didn't even recognize due to my youth and lack of experience. Luckily we have stayed married because we have both been able to change somewhat. YMMV.

[rameumptom]

I'm not a believer in unconditional love. I believe in Infinite love. All love has conditions, even God's. He infinitely loves us, but the relationship we have with him is conditional on our faith, repentance and obedience. God allowed Lucifer and others to be cast off forever, obedience being a definite condition of dwelling eternally in a loving relationship with God. Yet, he has infinite love.

We can also have infinite love for those around us. Yet, their behaviors can cause conditions in which we must choose to end the relationship completely.

[sherman79]

Cynthia_Ann- oh that is too true. I always live in hope though that someday he will find his own salvation. I no longer feel guilty when he makes bad choices no matter what excuse he uses it is not my fault. He isn't a bad man though just extremely lost.

[bert10]

Are you guys surprised to find out that the LDS divorce rate is as great as the Christians?

The divorce rate is virtually identical to the Christian rate [not including temple here] because the worldly philosophies have invaded the LDS church.

To answer you and those below in this tread...unconditional love is infinite it is the same love that God uses on us. It is the pure love of Christ that enables us to understand and to forgive.

Unconditional love is patient, it does not seek force change on others. This last one should be familiar with you guys who are married. How many spouses spend their time in trying to remake their spouse in their own image of what is a good spouse?

Here are some verses on this..to help us along in understanding this.

Love of Christ passeth knowledge.

Ephesians 3:19 - And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God

There is no fear in love and fear is torment.

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Unconditional Love is also called "perfect Love"

Now Conditional love is called darkness by the Lord. It is not a love that lift but abase men and woman and bring strife and contentions in the marriage and seek to control even to force our spouse to behave or think as we do.

Where in a marriage there are contentions, strife, anger and unhappiness you can be sure that marriage is based on conditional Love which is called darkness by GOD....conditional is the counterfeit of the real thing and cannot work for very long. Every marriage that ends up in divorce it is because of at least one spouse is living conditional love in it.

A little known Secret

And for those of you who are close to divorce know this...it is written in Scriptures "As a man thinketh so is he in his heart." A spouse becomes love only when it is constantly on his mind and heart.

If this person wishes to accomplish this...He cannot afford to dwell on the negativity of their spouses or things of the world. This kills the process of our becoming..and living perfect love.

If we learn to hold unconditional Love in our heart and mind......and learn forgiveness and add praising the Lord for every fault that our spouse possess we begin to bring the power of God down in our marriages. And God will act for the good of us. He may not work in the way we expect Him to ..but He will work things out.

An earthly divorce is not necessarily a Spiritual divorce. For when God has sealed a man and a woman in Marriage...man cannot put asunder a marriage. And I know God does not give divorces simply because the government can give them out, willy nilly.

Because of the high rate of divorces..this generation since the days of Jesus is the first where we are guilty of not only being degenerate and wicked but also an Adulterous generation.

bert10

I'm not quite sure what you mean by any of this. Sounds like psychobabble to me.....................

Bottom line is that marraige is a tough thing. In my courtship there were red flags that I didn't even recognize due to my youth and lack of experience. Luckily we have stayed married because we have both been able to change somewhat. YMMV.

[bert10]

God allows us to separate...but not many to remarry again. For men it is different than it is for woman.

Righteous men do not initiate divorce proceedings. For by which we judge our spouse so will God judge us. And if we divorce our spouse for their faults even adulteries...how can then we go to GOD and seek forgiveness for our own faults and adulteries with our idols...[money, luxuries, food] which we are weak in and put the things of the world before GOD...this is adulteries.

For in the prayer of Jesus...He said..forgive our trespass as we forgive the trespasses of others.

Again I have said for men it is different if the divorce proceeding is initiated by the woman. If that man is righteous...God can allow that man to marry again even if does not get a Spiritual divorce. If the man is wicked ...well that is another matter.

The man as is written in the scriptures is the head of woman. And for that man to divorce she would have to behave like Israel at their worst. The Lord Cried out to Israel.according to the prophet Jeremiah....." Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you"

But for the woman to initiate divorce it does not entitle her to a Spiritual separation...though man may but asunder her marriage, it is not necessarily done so in heaven.

Women have power with God if only they would learn to use it and bring it down on the earth in their marriages. With time and patience and praising God and with unconditional Love God will begin to work on the heart of her spouse..by giving whatsoever he needs to bring him down from pride and blindness.

Pat Burn who was an angry Hockey Coach that recently died of cancer..was renowned. He said the sufferings that he endured in the last couple of years ...worked to soften his heart.

God can do some wondrous work even to the giving of Cancer in order to slow down and awaken people before it is too late. Some learn while others go the grave even more bitter and angry. That is their choice.

But there shall come a point when the Righteous sister cries goes up to heaven and the husband does not repent...the Lord Himself shall remove him.

That is the power of GOD in one's life.

Here is another secret the more righteous a person becomes in the obedience of the Spirit and love.....the more the sin of the spouse increases in the eyes of GOD...when a man or woman sin before the perfection of love...there is only so long where the Lord shall permit it.

bert10

I am looking at divorce because I allowed worldly things get in the way. We stopped going to church and paying tithe and the challenge of the kids at home 6 of them with special needs just got to me and I reacted badly and now am paying for it.

If I ever allow someone to get close enough to me to think I love them again it had better be with someone who won't give up on me or them or our relationship. It will be very hard for me to even talk to another woman again as I am still at that totally scared stage of the divorce and only time can work on that.

Some things I would suggest to marrieds is to talk more about family challenges, love more, spend time together as a couple and most of all pray together morning and night as a couple for strength to keep working together. Never let others tell you what is right for you and your spouse and most of all realize that life can pull any of us down and we can react very badly.

I still love the soon to be "ex" it is her who has given up on me and that is just the way things are working out. I am not mad at her, but could never go back into the relationship because of things we have talked about in counseling that I never even realized were issues.

If the marriage is worth saving you may both need to go to counseling and do it with a LDS counselor they do see the big picture.

In the end I and her did fail each other and now we are going in opposite directions. If there are kids try and stay positive in front of the kids and most of don't get into a she said he said fight you both loose if you do.

I really hope someday that there is someone for me to love who will walk with me right up to deaths door, but right now I can not see that, all I can do is pray that is what is ahead for me sometime in the time I have left in this life.

I am one of those guys who hates to be alone but would rather be alone then be hurt like this again.

For the record my first wife was murdered, my second after 20 years didn't want to play house anymore so she decided it would be better if I offed myself so she worked on me mentally and almost won, third wife got the benefit of my military, and the other life issues stated before. I thought I had them all taken care of wrong and so things fell apart.

Make sure before you marry that everything is talked out, talk about sex, talk about kids, talk about what has happened in your past and most of if it could affect your marriage discuss it if not never bring it up ever.

I am in my 60's never expected to be starting all over again and learning how to take care of a house all alone and dealing with a divorce again.

Life is full of pot holes and we can either drive slowly through them, fill them in or make a big deal out of them and destroy a marriage.

Never marry someone you don't want as a best friend and never see most things in marriage as a big deal. Some things just can't be over looked and I accept that.

Live long prosper and do good

[seeking_peace]

Wow. I may have read way too much in to what you were saying Bert10, but I'm afraid it's left a bad taste in my mouth.

My husband decided that he wanted to be married to someone other than me, so I filed for divorce. Are you saying that since I, a woman, initiated the divorce proceedings God will not grant me a "spiritual divorce." My ex--because he is a man--was able to marry two days after our divorce was final, but I won't be allowed to marry again? That I should have waited for God to remove him? That I should have allowed him to continue making a mockery of marriage until he died?

I'm sorry. I think that is just crazy talk.

[rameumptom]

Bert, your discussion is not exactly gospel principle nor doctrine. God discourages and hates divorce. However, he realizes that it is sometimes necessary, and Jesus mentioned adultery as a reason for doing so. Seeking_peace had a husband who sought another woman - at the least he was committing adultery in his heart. She had a right to divorce him.

The temple sealing remains in tact for the blessings of the righteous member involved. Once that individual is ready to remarry in the temple, the sealing can and almost always is canceled.

For those who trivially divorce, they will be judged by God unless they repent. For those who do repent, God gives second chances. That especially includes women, because it is usually the man who is the slime bag that leads to a divorce.

[hiddentreasures]

The temple sealing remains in tact for the blessings of the righteous member involved. Once that individual is ready to remarry in the temple, the sealing can and almost always is canceled.

.

Thank you for this. Could you include any references which would help me understand this more?

[bert10]

THE FOLLOWING DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE INDIVIDUALLY. Each case is different and only GOD is to Judge and counsel.When the Lord gave some teachings that had some depth to it...He would say let them that have ears...Hear. It meant it only applied for them who could understand.

It is scary stuff and it took me many years to receive this...mainly because I was not ready to see myself under that light. Because I asked and received I stood condemned in my failures to immediately implement the principles in my life. And it did leave a bad taste as it showed me my own shortcomings. At first I could not live the teachings that Adam and Eve taught their children.

This is my experience and as far as I know...God has not release this stuff to the world. And only they who get a testimony of this post and does not follow it are under the law.

It took me a long time to receive this stuff...And God showed me how unjust I was in my expectations of my spouse. And you know what? if anyone live "unconditional Love" control issues disappear or are lessened to such an extent that it does not matter anymore.

Also the ability of our spouse to make us really unhappy when they do things we do not approve of is lessened. It depends on the level or degree of "Unconditional Love" we are in. The greater we understand...the greater our compassion the less we tend to judge evil of others and the more we can forgive.

Here is the hardest lesson of all men must learn...is that they should have no expectation from their wives to behave or think as they do. This must come naturally out of love and not forced. To respect our wives as God respect us is to allow them to think and behave according to their own sense of right and wrong.

The tools we have are "Unconditional Love" "prayers" "praising"and to counsels our spouse. And we are to be careful to not over do it by nagging.

What I have received is for myself because I ask, seek and knock. I Cannot "officially" release this as commandments of GOD since these things were on the earth since the beginning.

I am giving this stuff out so that people who are serious with their marriage or are nearing divorce can pull back from it and re-learn to love their Spouse.

As LDS we ought to to have the lowest divorce rate of any people and religion in the world.

The Christian movie "Fireproof."

From what I have seem....the Christian course "Love dare" I think that is what it is called. In the movie I saw..it had some elements that reminded me how to live "Unconditional Love". This is from what I have seen in the Christian movie called "Fireproof"

bert10

Wow. I may have read way too much in to what you were saying Bert10, but I'm afraid it's left a bad taste in my mouth.

My husband decided that he wanted to be married to someone other than me, so I filed for divorce. Are you saying that since I, a woman, initiated the divorce proceedings God will not grant me a "spiritual divorce." My ex--because he is a man--was able to marry two days after our divorce was final, but I won't be allowed to marry again? That I should have waited for God to remove him? That I should have allowed him to continue making a mockery of marriage until he died?

I'm sorry. I think that is just crazy talk.

Edited December 9, 2010 by bert10

[bert10]

Be careful what you ask for. But since you asked.

Biblical translations is why many fail to grasp the things of the Lord. At least to begin to ask the correct questions to God. In Greeks there were different kinds of words to represent different types of Love...such as Eros..etc. In the English language we have one word and it is "Love" And for example we say to "make Love" even when it is only of the lust of the flesh.

As for marriages...did not GOD say and it is written "let no man put asunder what God has joined?"

What is joined Spiritually by GOD cannot be put asunder except by the power of the Spirit. And what of it ...if governments give divorces? Do they have power to order GOD to dissolve what He has joined?

Is the Spiritual line formed in heaven when a man and a woman marries..so easily put asunder?

The reason why it is nearly impossible for the woman to receive a divorce is because once they are married She is the HOLDER AND THE GUARDIAN of both Lines of the Children. The Spiritual line and the Earthly line.

Now we can study the way Sarah treated and loved her husband Abraham whom she called Lord. And we can also study the Role and relationship of Rachel and Leah in order to understand polygamy and so on.

The Lord said by Isaiah that we learn a little here and there, line upon line, precept upon precept etc. That is how it works.

Why? so that we do not reject it..by biting more than we can chew.

The study should start in Genesis...where God set the order of authority and responsibilities between the man and the woman. And we can only fulfill our role by faith and by "Unconditional Love"

Jacob had it, and lived it so much that His children at times were ashamed of him and thought that he was weak. One of the Names of our Father is "Loving Kindness". It would be easy to perceive our Father as weak if we did not understand "Unconditional Love"

I can answer questions but be specific ....

I think as we go along in the End days...you will hear more and more people with similar teachings.

bert10

Thank you for this. Could you include any references which would help me understand this more?

[ryanh]

Be careful what you ask for. But since you asked.

I read your nebulous phoey-filled writings, and then compare it to what modern day prophets and apostles (Oaks' talk on divorce foremost comes to mind), and I for one choose to reject the majority of your hard-line pontifications and follow the brethren.

It is evident from your writings that you have failed to fully find the unconditional love you speak of, and continue to view others in an absolutist manner. You may not come right out and say it, but clearly you are judgmental and conditional in your acceptance. I'm glad God gave you some direction how to remove that from you marriage, as it is toxic to interpersonal interactions.

[pam]

This is my experience and as far as I know...God has not release this stuff to the world. And only they who get a testimony of this post and does not follow it are under the law.

Excuse me? We are to gain a testimony through your post? You don't provide revelation or doctrine or anything new for us to follow. We get that from the First Presidency who receive if from our Heavenly Father.