Grave dedication question

[Canuck Mormon]

My wife and I recently had a terrible tragedy. She was 32 weeks pregnant when we discovered there was no movement or heartbeat. She still had to give birth, but he was stillborn.

My question is do we need to have the grave dedicated because he never took a breath or lived on this earth? The funeral is tomorrow and the person saying a small prayer has asked to work in the dedication of the grave. I went ahead and told him yes, but I'm still not sure.

Any ideas??

[Maureen]

CM, that is so sad. I'm sorry that that has happend to you and your wife. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

M.

[Wingnut]

My wife and I recently had a terrible tragedy. She was 32 weeks pregnant when we discovered there was no movement or heartbeat. She still had to give birth, but he was stillborn.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine many things more emotionally painful than still having to go through the process of delivering the child.

I don't have a solid answer for you on the dedication. Dedicating a grave isn't a necessary ordinance in the first place. I think it's one of those things that is more for the living than it is for the person in the grave. I'd say that if you want to, do it, but you don't have to.

[MarginOfError]

My wife and I recently had a terrible tragedy. She was 32 weeks pregnant when we discovered there was no movement or heartbeat. She still had to give birth, but he was stillborn.

My question is do we need to have the grave dedicated because he never took a breath or lived on this earth? The funeral is tomorrow and the person saying a small prayer has asked to work in the dedication of the grave. I went ahead and told him yes, but I'm still not sure.

Any ideas??

I feel a little peculiar commenting on procedural matters in the wake of such a tragedy. Please accept my most sincere condolences.

The dedication of a grave is an unnecessary nicety. There really isn't a lot of protocol around it. When a person dies in ways we consider normal and not so tragic, the ordinance merely dedicates the grave as the resting place of the body of the deceased until the Resurrection. I know of no statement regarding whether grave dedication is appropriate for a still born child, and arguments could be made both ways. I'm going to decline to make those arguments. It just feels wrong to even bring it up.

Ultimately, my opinion is that even if it would be technically inappropriate to perform the ordinance, I can't bring myself to believe that the Savior would care if it brings comfort to the family and loved ones who are mourning this loss.

So, my opinion is that you should do what brings comfort to your family. If you still have doubts, talk to your priesthood leader.

Again...so sorry for your loss. I wish there was some worldly power to ease the sadness. We are all mourning with you.

[beefche]

I'm so sorry, Canuck. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I'm with MOE--I don't think it's necessarily wrong to dedicate a grave in this situation. If it is comforting in any measure to you or a member of your family, then I think it would be ok to dedicate the grave.

[applepansy]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're having a funeral. Personally, I would have the grave dedicated.

[martybess]

Oh I am so sorry to read of your heartache and loss. I hope mom is well. Personally I would.

[miztrniceguy]

Very sorry for the loss of your family member. Take comfort in knowing your son will take his place as part of your family when you are all reunited.

[Blackmarch]

My wife and I recently had a terrible tragedy. She was 32 weeks pregnant when we discovered there was no movement or heartbeat. She still had to give birth, but he was stillborn.

My question is do we need to have the grave dedicated because he never took a breath or lived on this earth? The funeral is tomorrow and the person saying a small prayer has asked to work in the dedication of the grave. I went ahead and told him yes, but I'm still not sure.

Any ideas??

Very very sorry to hear this, I hope that all will recover well from the loss of loved one.

I'd say pray and discuss it with your spouse and if that's the impression you get you should do then yes. If the mother feels that the spirit left to be born at a later date then it is probably not as important.

I'd probably go with the dedication unless I feel prompted to do otherwise.

[Canuck Mormon]

We decided to go ahead and dedicate the grave, but without a mention of the coming forth at the first ressurection.

It was a lovely service, very short, and with just family. A short poem was read by my sister in laws and then the prayer and dedication. The worst part was placing the roses on his tiny little casket. I remember hardly being able to see anything because of the tears streaming down my face. I am not realy an emotional person and I hide my emotions quite well, but this time I just couldn't hold back, it wouldn't have been right. My son, who never saw Kai, was quite emotional as well. That goes to show the impact that little Kai had in a very short time.

Thank you all for you well wishes and they are greatly appreciated.

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

My wife and I recently had a terrible tragedy. She was 32 weeks pregnant when we discovered there was no movement or heartbeat. She still had to give birth, but he was stillborn.

My question is do we need to have the grave dedicated because he never took a breath or lived on this earth? The funeral is tomorrow and the person saying a small prayer has asked to work in the dedication of the grave. I went ahead and told him yes, but I'm still not sure.

Any ideas??

My apologies for answering this too late. My condolences to your wife and you, as well as your family.

Busy with moving, organizing and all that.

I did find this in the manual regarding the Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood manual B:

Dedication of Graves

Graves should be dedicated by a Melchizedek Priesthood holder, as authorized by the priesthood officer who conducts the service. To dedicate a grave, he:

1. Addresses Heavenly Father.

2. States that he is acting by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

3. Dedicates and consecrates the burial plot as the resting place for the body of the deceased.

4. (Where appropriate) prays that the place may be hallowed and protected until the Resurrection.

5. Asks the Lord to comfort the family and expresses thoughts as the Spirit directs.

6. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

Hope this helps those with a future question on Dedicatory prayer at the Grave - maybe the mods can make this a sticky??? Not sure.