Tips On How To Become The "Hostess" Type?

[Bini]

I am not the hostess type. The idea of entertaining people is something that is completely out of my comfort zone! I'm not sure why I feel this way because I'm a confident cook and fun person to be around. I've never had any problems enjoying myself or the company of others at get-togethers and parties but the thought of ME being the hostess totally stresses me out! Hubby says it's because I want everything to be perfect and the idea of things possibly going wrong really freaks me out. Maybe he's right. I am a nut when it comes to organising things.. Still, I'd really like to break out of this shell and try being the hostess for once. After all, it's just as simple as throwing a BBQ and everyone bringing their own meat or whatever.. Right?

Sigh.. Any tips? This'll shock everyone cos pretty much everyone I know, knows, that I don't host — ever! It will be an epic moment, seriously..

[pam]

Just relax and enjoy. Plan something very simple..pot luck or something so that you don't have the stress of all the work.

[pam]

I think you should start off by inviting a few of us from lds.net to a meal of pancit and lumpia. We promise we will go very easy on you and put you at ease.

[Bini]

Haha. Thanks, Pam :]

Keeping it simple is key. I think I'm also nervous about people totally thinking my get-together is LAME :[ Pot luck does sound A LOT easier than me trying to prepare or cook something entirely solo.

[Honor]

Not this kind?

[Dravin]

Still, I'd really like to break out of this shell and try being the hostess for once. After all, it's just as simple as throwing a BBQ and everyone bringing their own meat or whatever.. Right?

You don't even have to start there. You can do something like renting a movie and watching it or playing some board/party games. The advantage of having it activity focused instead of meal focused is then you can just put out some chips and dip with maybe a relish tray and you don't have to fret over a large meal.

[mightynancy]

Start small with just a couple of friends whom you trust to love you no matter how your party turns out. :) Board games/party games are fun, or you could get together to watch a sporting event on TV, or watch a DVD. It's the togetherness that counts, not having a hostess who fits into some random definition of what she should be. Be yourself (your gregarious, hostessy self, LOL), and the rest will follow.

I'm an overplanner too. To my surprise, when things don't go as planned, NOBODY notices. It's really okay.

[Bini]

Not this kind?

This stumped me yesterday cos I wasn't "getting" the joke.. Lol. I was thinking to myself, what does a twinkie have to do with anything? DUH. It's a "Hostess" twinkie!

[Wingnut]

This stumped me yesterday cos I wasn't "getting" the joke.. Lol. I was thinking to myself, what does a twinkie have to do with anything? DUH. It's a "Hostess" twinkie!

Don't worry, I didn't get it yesterday, either.

[beefche]

Wow, I didn't get it at all. I thought Honor was just suggesting a ready-made refreshment. Or calling Bini a twinkie.

[Wingnut]

Wow, I didn't get it at all. I thought Honor was just suggesting a ready-made refreshment.

That's what I thought, too. When I went back through this morning, it clicked, and then I read Bini's comment.

[Milluw]

There is two sides of it.

Most people feel great at a gathering when each individual feels cared about. But on the other side, a hostess that runs around looking stressed and not being present kills it. So definantly look at how much time you would want to spend on your dinner/snacks/whatever before they come, so you'll have it all prepared for them in good time, then you can join the party/gathering yourself.

It doesn't nessicarily need to be a feast, it could also just be snacks for a movie or a game night. Just put it in some bowls, in the fridge or whatever there is needed. So that when you pop the movie in or people start to play the games, all you have to do is go and grab the stuff, lean back and enjoy. :)

* Also, if its something bigger you might wan't to prepare what needs to be ready in really good time, so you can go and take a relaxing bath or do what makes your nerves calm down. Since your guests may notice you feeling worn down after preparing.

Oh, and if your doing something as (lets say) potatoes, which you might prefer not to have been out after being cooked for a long time, just peel them and put them in some water with a lid on. You just have to put the heat on when the guests arrives then. (Just an example)

But thats more in the food department in relation to being a hostess, since it sound like the actual party and having fun with your friends is your homefield. :)

Edited January 3, 2011 by Milluw

[miztrniceguy]

At least I wasn't the only one on the same thought train. I was going to suggest being golden sponge cakey and fill up on cream filling. But Honor beat me to it.

[Guest]

I'm a once-a-month-at-least hostess. I just love throwing parties. I usually plan to invite 2 couples and end up with 40 people...

Things I learned about hosting parties:

1.) If you introduce 2 outgoing people who don't know each other with something in common - they usually end up talking the entire time while at the party. No need for anything else... just put easy-prepare food around and they're set.

2.) If you put an entire bevy of females together and have one female who is the "life of the party" in the middle (there's usually one person in your circle of friends who is the "woman who everybody loves", they will end up talking the entire time while at the party because the "popular woman" will carry the conversation all the way to the end of the night. Put a tray of M&M's in the middle and you're all set. You can prepare an activity just in case, but I found that with women, they'd rather talk than play.

3.) If you invite active member friends and non-member or inactive friends to the same party - chances are, they're going to form 2 groups. Member friends usually end up talking about the church which immediately acts like a repellant to the non-members. You will need some kind of activity or something to break up the groups.

4.) If you treat the party like just another dinner at home, your guests will too. It's the easiest way to have people relax in the party and feel "homey". I'm not a very organized hostess. When I invite people, I always say, yeah, party starts at 6, but it's very informal so dinner probably won't be ready until 7. When they walk in the door at 6, I'm usually still preparing dinner, so the first thing they usually ask is - is there anything I can do to help? I give them some small task in the kitchen (like putting M&Ms in the bowl) - or I just say, yea, talk to me in the kitchen. It breaks the ice very fast. But now, a lot of people know me well enough that they usually walk in the house straight to the kitchen and help out. When I have "new" guests over, they don't have a chance to feel awkward, because they just get swept into the kitchen along with everyone else.

5.) Make a bunch of eggrolls and have them ready before the guests arrive. They're instant hit.

6.) If you want a more formal gathering (I don't like to throw these kinds of parties, but I attend a few of them), you will need to think about the "flow" of the party. Have hors d' oevres where you plan for them to gather, then plan for the sit-down dinner with place settings and place cards, then direct them to an activity if you plan one, offer deserts, then have a definite end to the party.

7.) Potluck is not a good house-party method, in my opinion. It's better for ward activities and the like. Usually, when you invite people to a party, they will ask you what they can bring. I always say - don't worry about it, or tell them whatever they want to bring, or tell them to bring drinks or some desert only if they already have it in their pantry. When you have a potluck for your house party you are already putting one stress factor on a guest or a reason for them to decline the invite. You want your guests to enjoy the party and not chance that they are already stressed from preparing the pot before the party even started.

Okay, here's easy prepare meal ideas for parties that you can do in under 30 minutes cook-time - you can even start these when the first guest arrives if you're having something informal:

Appetizer:

Eggrolls - you can buy them already prepared at the Filipino store - it's frozen so you can stock these in your freezer. All you need to do is drop them in the fry daddy straight from the freezer. It cooks in 5 minutes. And you can put 12 of them at a time in a regular-sized fry daddy, so in 30 minutes you would have already made 72 of them.

Chips and M&Ms - yeah, I just break out a couple packages into bowls and spread it out around the house.

Main meal:

Meat on sticks - the night before the party cut up pork sirloin or butt roast into strips. Marinade in Mama Sita's BBQ Marinade (comes in a bottle or powdered form you can get from the Filipino store) and string onto barbecue sticks - put in the fridge ready for the next day. Right before the party starts, you can throw these on the grill and it takes about 20 minutes to cook the thing on medium heat. If you have your husband do this, let him man the eggrolls in the fryer too. Then you can just concentrate on the rest of the meal below:

Pansit Bihon (Rice noodles) - I buy the Pansit Bihon Mix from the Filipino store - The White King brand has the mix and the noodles all in one package. This is a very easy to cook dish that is popular. I usually buy most of the veggies all chopped up already - french cut green beans, shoestring carrots, and coleslaw cabbage. All I need to chop up is the red peppers (I haven't yet found one that is already chopped up). I use the cooked peeled jumbo shrimp that is sold in the freezer aisle. This dish is also ready in 20 minutes.

Chop suey (vegetarian) - I buy the Chop Suey Mix from the Filipino store (yes, yes, I'm a cheat-Filipino-cook!). I get the veggies all chopped up already as well - there's a packaged salad mix that has brocolli, cauliflower, and carrots all in one package that I use. Then I just add the chopped up mushrooms, quartered onions, and chopped up red, green, and yellow peppers in there. Yep, another 20-minute dish that you can cook right next to the Pansit.

Rice - set it and forget it on the rice cooker.

Pandesal - I usually have these out as "rolls" for the non-rice-eating crowd. Sold as packages of 12 from the Filipino store.

Desert:

Depends on whether I'm being lazy or not - I just get some already made pies or cake from the grocery.

If I'm not lazy - I serve banana egg rolls. This is really yum. If I offer these, I make them as an "activity" at the party - the women love to help me make these. You just get a banana and chop it up length-wise then cross-wise to have 4 pieces. Put 2 pieces onto an eggroll wrapper, add 2 squares of Hershey's milk chocolate and roll into an eggroll. Drop in the fryer until the wrapper is light brown then serve on a plate with vanilla ice cream on top and a drizzle of hershey's chocolate syrup. Looks really wonderful and tastes yummy with the warm crunchy wrapper and gooshy chocolate rushing out when you bite it and the coolness of vanilla ice cream for the contrast.

YUM.

Okay, go have fun!

P.S. For your first party - it is the easiest thing to time it when there's a football game on TV... the guys will usually flock to the TV and have something to do - even the ones who don't really watch/like football will find themselves hanging out in there for the comaraderie.

P.P.S. And no matter how much your children beg, do not... I repeat... DO NOT... allow them to take the snakes out of their enclosures during the party. (Yes, I know you don't have kids nor snakes. LOL!).

Edited January 4, 2011 by anatess

[athycai]

the crowd will take care of itself - they always do. just a potluck - so easy to start with. you could maybe have one game. a get to know you or pictionary or something like that. so easy. no worries.

think of them as family. (unless your family stresses you out) ;o)

[applepansy]

Great suggestions from everybody.

Bini, I am a reluctant hostess. But having children got me out of that real fast. When your kids are part of a team that carb loads the night before a sports event...well, eventually as a parent it has to be at your house. hmmmmm....60= kids and pasta (and some other parents). I didn't even scream!!! lol

How about a FHE group? Young couples. Easy discussion topic. Desert. One hour...maybe 1-1/2. :) Prayer and Done.