Finding Worthy Dates

[MisterE]

I live in an area where most of the opposite sex do not follow the same beliefs that LDS people do. Dating is hard for someone who is LDS because the opposite sex is always into something I cannot go along with. Many times, even the members are into things they should not be.

My question is: if I am trying as hard as I can to pursue an eternal marriage, but am unsuccessful, will the Lord punish me?

I am living worthy, but I won't budge when it comes to the church's standards. I also have heard that if a member does not get married then they cannot enjoy the fullness of our Heavenly Father's blessings. (I'm an older single and worried.)

What do you think?

[jennvan]

If we are honestly doing what we believe we should be doing, I don't think the Lord will hold it against us. What we are accountable for though is asking the Lord what other things we need to be looking at or doing differently in our own lives to be who He needs us to be. In so doing, that might get us closer to where He needs us for marriage. It is easy to stop in our progression when we are single because we don't have as much change happening in our lives to help us to move forward. What might have been ok for us 5 years ago (or even a few months ago) may not be ok for us now. It might be time to step things up in one area or another. You say that you won't budge on the church's standards but are you being so rigid in things that don't require rigidity that you are scaring women off?

Also, you state on your profile you are 41, depending on where you live, there might be a mid-singles group going in your area. I always encourage people of that age group to try to contact others who are in their same stage of life. It helps to not feel alone.

[g8trjasonb]

Have you tried an LDS dating website? There's a bunch of them and if you are willing to get to know someone that may live far away first through a computer, then your chances of finding someone obviously go up dramatically.

[mrmarklin]

[quote name=MisterE;588047

My question is: if I am trying as hard as I can to pursue an eternal marriage' date=' but am unsuccessful, will the Lord punish me?

What do you think?

NO

[Just_A_Guy]

I also have heard that if a member does not get married then they cannot enjoy the fullness of our Heavenly Father's blessings.

You have heard wrongly.

[JudoMinja]

I think there is nothing wrong with being "picky", but we should also strive not to be judgmental. We can't see the whole picture and we may sometimes be too hard on others with our judgments. It's good that you want to progress in the gospel and that you don't want to end up with someone who compromises their standards, but we all have our personal struggles. I am sure there is something, somewhere you are struggling with and you wouldn't want a great woman to turn you away just because of this one little flaw in your character.

There are many single LDS people out there who worry themselves over this same connundrum. It is hard to find other good, worthy, single LDS people to date. When you do find someone to date, you tend to find that for some reason or other you are not really compatible. That's okay, as long as you aren't turning someone away that you shouldn't be. How do you know if you are doing this? Prayer. Always pray earnestly about the people you date. The Lord knows more about these people than we ever will, because try as we might to discern their hearts in the process of a few dates we just can't see it all. The Lord KNOWS their hearts, and He can tell you in answer to your prayers if you've found a good match.

As long as you've been praying and you haven't been turning away women the Lord is trying to say you should accept, you're doing okay. You won't be punished for not getting married. Just be patient and keep working on yourself and your personal spiritual progression. The Lord's time is not our time. Some people marry young, some people never marry. Some people lose their first spouse for whatever reason and may or may not ever re-marry. Some people die young before ever even having the chance to experience marriage. As long as you are where the Lord wants you to be, doing what the Lord wants you to do, you will be blessed- married or not.

[JACOB_A4]

God looks at the desires of our hearts...For men = they must do all that they can to find a worthy companion then later marry her in the Temple. For women = they must prepare themselves to qualify for a love of a man, they could prepare spiritually but aside from that, they could attract someone by proper grooming of themselves =) a simple pony tale would do for me ^^ haha...

Do not be so perfectionist, if you are given a chance but not take it...IT WILL BE YOUR OWN DAMNATION, you will be held accountable for it and could eventually lose your eternal reward BUT:TAKENOTE: prayerfully ask the Lord and do fasting if a person is wortthy of your love...Its better to not marry someone than to marry and tie yourself to an undeserving one.

If you die being single but live righteously and would eventually marry in the future...you would not be deprived of your rights ^^ gets? hehe

[shdwlkr]

You want a challenge in the dating world try mine. I am in my middle 60'sa and divorced, and have two small children ages 4 and 5 that I get to spend time with sometimes. Want to feel like a leaper that is me.

I will not give up my relationship with my kids and yes I have been asked that question by women. I can not move from the state I am in or lose my kids so I am here for the next decade or so and that is also a turn off for women, but it is ok for them to say they can't move.

Do I think I will find someone again, who knows I sure don't. I know I hate living alone and doing stuff alone but I am so much happier without the ex and her issues. She did some really bad things that have me wondering about another relationship and what it could do to me for the better and also for the worse.

Keep doing what is right and sooner or later some lady will walk into your life and then the time alone will seem like nothing.

As for me I keep thinking about someone in my life and then go nope not when they find out I have young kids and so far that has been the case, but the future for me is still an unknown and who knows what will happen in the future as I can't control it anymore than I can control the sun or rain that falls out of the sky.

[Martain]

I have heard prophetic council indicating that if there were no dating opportunities in the place you live, then it is appropriate to move to where there are.

I paraphrased but it is a good question... what's preventing you from moving to where this isn't an issue? Moving is never easy, but for marriage? What isn't worth it to find an enternal companion?

[SuperChris]

I can understand, even back when I was agnostic I still kept nearly all the church standards and therefore had significant difficulty finding someone I was willing to date.

Getting married is important, yes. However, if you keep yourself worthy and for whatever reason don't get married in this life, you will still be afforded the opportunity one day.

[Vort]

I live in an area where most of the opposite sex do not follow the same beliefs that LDS people do. Dating is hard for someone who is LDS because the opposite sex is always into something I cannot go along with. Many times, even the members are into things they should not be.

My question is: if I am trying as hard as I can to pursue an eternal marriage, but am unsuccessful, will the Lord punish me?

I am living worthy, but I won't budge when it comes to the church's standards. I also have heard that if a member does not get married then they cannot enjoy the fullness of our Heavenly Father's blessings. (I'm an older single and worried.)

What do you think?

I'm wondering what things the opposite sex is "into" that you cannot go along with. Are we talking fornication? Or playing World of Warcraft? (It may not seem like it, but there is a subtle difference.)