What does it mean "women have let themsleves go"

[Echo2002]

I'm not sure where to post this.

I've heard from several men lately say there's very few prospects because women have let themselves go. What does this mean exactly, too much weight gain, not enough make-up, sloppy clothes?

I'm just curious.

[xLandonx]

too much weight gain, not enough make-up, sloppy clothes?

I try to avoid looking at things this way myself, however, to answer your question it (generaly) means one or more of those three things. Depending on the man certain things might be more important than others.

[prisonchaplain]

As a man in a happy marriage, I can only answer, "I have no idea what you are talking about." These men are engaging in crazy talk. :-)

[Echo2002]

As a man in a happy marriage, I can only answer, "I have no idea what you are talking about." These men are engaging in crazy talk. :-)

haha.

I can understand not liking the weight gain and sloppy clothes. I've never been much of a make-up kind of a girl. Does make-up really make someone more attractive? It's not something you can wear 24/7, so I figure a guy better be attracted to his wife even if she doesn't wear make-up.

[Bini]

Yep, means part or all of that mentioned above.

The statement is annyoying but moreso when the man (or woman) has also let themselves go and yet complains about their partner's shortcomings.

[John11111]

When you stop doing things that you did previously to make/keep yourself looking attractive/appealing.

[xLandonx]

When you stop doing things that you did previously to make/keep yourself looking attractive/appealing.

^ Pretty much sums it up entirely right there.

[Landy77]

My interpretation of that statement is a woman no longer has a moral or ethical standard. They say, do, and act without any standard or accountability to anyone.

[Leah]

I'm not sure where to post this.

I've heard from several men lately say there's very few prospects because women have let themselves go. What does this mean exactly, too much weight gain, not enough make-up, sloppy clothes?

I'm just curious.

Those men are focusing on the wrong things.

Also, I find it not uncommon that the men who make such statements, don't hold themselves to quite the same standard that they hold for women. They feel they "deserve" a supermodel for a girlfriend/wife, no matter where they themselves fall on the physically attractive spectrum.

I once knew a woman who was seriously considering marriage with a man who told her that her current weight was "acceptable", however, she would "not be allowed" to gain any more weight! I wonder how he expected her to bear the many children he desired without her gaining an ounce!

[Backroads]

I agree it's one or more of those three things, but there is kind of an aura about it. To me "letting yourself go" implies an extreme lack of care in your physical body. I don't like the way these men use it, but I say it can be a very real issue.

[Guest]

Also, I find it not uncommon that the men who make such statements, don't hold themselves to quite the same standard that they hold for women. They feel they "deserve" a supermodel for a girlfriend/wife, no matter where they themselves fall on the physically attractive spectrum.

WORD.

I agree with the others, to me it means someone has just stopped trying at all. I don't think the postpartum period should apply. :)

[bettyjbass]

I am Sister Betty Bass, a member of the truth for almost 11 years, married to a man that is a "Former Pastor", and it is hard for me so much. I just say this few words, and hope the Blessing of prayer here this little message reaching to a woman of God, understanding that do not gossip against the marriage , but lift the heart of mine to seek truth of what to do!

[Blocky]

When you stop doing things that you did previously to make/keep yourself looking attractive/appealing.

This is a good definition.

I also think of it as when someone has a major "flaw" that could be "easily" corrected, usually physical. These things are usually easy to point fingers at and 'tsk tsk' about if you're just a random by stander. When you get to know people though, you might find that something that should be easily corrected simply isn't that easy. Most women would love to be thinner, and the reason they aren't isn't because they lack the desire or they are weak willed. It's usually because it's REALLY hard. There are so many successful people out there that are overly heavy.

[Blocky]

WORD.

I agree with the others, to me it means someone has just stopped trying at all. I don't think the postpartum period should apply. :)

By postpartum period, you mean until the time the child starts kindergarten, right?

[Guest FixingTheWrongs]

If the men are quibling over minor issues, shame on them and they need to pull the mote out of their eyes first. To me, this phrase implies EXTREEM neglect on a person's personal appearance and health.

I and my wife "let ourselves go" and packed on 100+ pounds each. Letting one's self go doesn't just affect their personal appearance but eventually WILL lead to major health problems and even early death.

I also don't buy into a person cannot reverse or fix the problem mentality. Is it hard, yes, could it take a LONG time, yes, but I believe it is possible reguardless of other health factors or circumstances, as long as the person has the motivation and will power they can make it happen.

[Guest]

By postpartum period, you mean until the time the child starts kindergarten, right?

I think until sleep is a little more regular. Not that I've ever gotten the same amount of sleep I did pre-kids.

On the other hand, even with 5-month-old twins and constant sleep deprivation, I find it's important to my mental health to keep myself up on some level. I've learned some fast and pretty up-do's for my hair, and I wear enough makeup to help me feel like I don't look as zombie-ish as I feel (mascara because I have blond lashes and thus lizard eyes without it, and a little color on my cheeks) and I keep the days I spend in sweats to a minimum. After a couple of my babies were born, I lived in grungy clothes, no makeup, and didn't fix my hair most of the time. My husband never said anything (smart guy) and still expressed as much interest in me, and eventually I came out of it. But I was not as happy and didn't feel as good about myself, and it had nothing to do with my weight. Right now I have a good 30 pounds or so to lose, but I did just have twins and I just can't muster the energy to diet and exercise until they're sleeping better and life isn't so crazy. But if I wear decent clothes and fix myself up a little, I feel a lot better.

[garryw]

I'm not sure where to post this.

I've heard from several men lately say there's very few prospects because women have let themselves go. What does this mean exactly, too much weight gain, not enough make-up, sloppy clothes?

I'm just curious.

2/3 of women (and men) are overweight in the US. I think that's what he's talking about. That wasn't the case for our parent's generation.

[Echo2002]

These are all very good responses. I was just wondering if I needed to start wearing make up or something to get guys to notice me more. I'm not overweight, so that's not a problem for me, yet. I just feel like I'm too plain or something. I really don't style my hair besides washing and brushing it. I've also wondered if I'm not girly enough for guys.

[Backroads]

I did read an article in Prevention about how a study showed that women who wear make-up are seen as more likable and competent...

I don't want to make it sound like I'm saying "you must wear makeup!" but I actually am a fan of it and I don't think wearing it makes me evil or unconfident. I like makeup because I like to accentuate my eyes which everyone says are my finest feature. I think makeup is fun to put on. I like experimenting with it.

[Vort]

My wife is stunningly beautiful (yes, it's true) and only rarely wears any makeup at all. I cannot express how glad I am for this fact.

[Leah]

These are all very good responses. I was just wondering if I needed to start wearing make up or something to get guys to notice me more. I'm not overweight, so that's not a problem for me, yet. I just feel like I'm too plain or something. I really don't style my hair besides washing and brushing it. I've also wondered if I'm not girly enough for guys.

Don't try to be someone you are not, just to attract a guy.

If a guy won't date someone because she doesn't wear 'enough' makeup or doesn't have a fancy hairstyle.....he's not a guy worth dating.

[John11111]

If you are going to start wearing makeup or styling your hair better dont do it for anyone other then yourself. If it helps you feel better about yourself then go for it, if its bothersome or uncomfortable dont.

We are counseled to take care of ourselves and our bodies they are a sacred gift from our heavenly father, I believe that people who chose to "let themselves go" sometimes forget this. Show respect for the gift we have been given. Just like we dont go to the temple and litter or make a mess of it, our bodies should be treated the same.

[Madriglace]

Letting ones self go is a state of mind .... the result of which shows up on the outside. I am over weight but make an effort to be clean, dress nicely and appropriately, and generally take as good care of myself as I can ... this I do for me. Just because someone is over weight doesn't mean they have let themselves go ... medical issues can be involved. I don't wear makeup because of allergies and because I sweat like crazy!

So anyone who doesn't like what I look like ... tough nooggies!

[dahlia]

Yes, I know this is shallow, but my shallow, non-member, son has met a number of women in the ward. He told me he was quite impressed with how nice the women look and that apparently Mormon women don't let themselves go, even after they've had a number of children.

He may convert after all. : )

[Backroads]

Yes, I know this is shallow, but my shallow, non-member, son has met a number of women in the ward. He told me he was quite impressed with how nice the women look and that apparently Mormon women don't let themselves go, even after they've had a number of children.

He may convert after all. : )

My teenaged BiL made a comment that Mormon girls are prettier than other girls--mind you, the kid barely active. But he will agree that all the health and modesty does something.