What if you have the opportunity to get married but don't?

[lizzy16]

And then in the spirit world. Will you be given a chance?

[annewandering]

no doubt it depends on the circumstances and the knowledge at the time.

[maiku]

I'm not sure about the spirit world but that's a part of what the millennium is for.

[prisonchaplain]

I was 31 when I married. So...Lizzy...there is plenty of time, and a world full of hope. So, tell the dude to cool his heels, and show some patience and maturity. :-)

(FYI...sorry, had to rib ya a bit).

[lizzy16]

I was 31 when I married. So...Lizzy...there is plenty of time, and a world full of hope. So, tell the dude to cool his heels, and show some patience and maturity. :-)

(FYI...sorry, had to rib ya a bit).

hahah! I went to my grandparents for thanksgiving and the first thing they asked was,

"So, what are you hoping to gain from Byu-idaho? A husband? becoming a nuclear engineer?"

" Grandpa. I'm 17. My goals are to gain my BA in English Education, spend my next few summers traveling western USA, working, going to mexico as part of a TESOL program and then go on a mission. And, then I'll get married. At least I hope thats what happends. If the right guy comes along before I have my chance to go on a mission I'm going to be upset."

"Well. When your getting married let me know. I can't wait for you to go to the temple. You'll love the SLC temple sealing room."

He's convinced I'll be married in the SLC temple haha. He then spent the entire weekend suggesting we invite the local YSA over for a game night.

My grandfather is a hoot.

[Forget-Me-Not]

hahah! I went to my grandparents for thanksgiving and the first thing they asked was,

"So, what are you hoping to gain from Byu-idaho? A husband? becoming a nuclear engineer?"

" Grandpa. I'm 17. My goals are to gain my BA in English Education, spend my next few summers traveling western USA, working, going to mexico as part of a TESOL program and then go on a mission. And, then I'll get married. At least I hope thats what happends. If the right guy comes along before I have my chance to go on a mission I'm going to be upset."

"Well. When your getting married let me know. I can't wait for you to go to the temple. You'll love the SLC temple sealing room."

He's convinced I'll be married in the SLC temple haha. He then spent the entire weekend suggesting we invite the local YSA over for a game night.

My grandfather is a hoot.

Lol. Your grandfather sounds great, and I'd suggest that if the right guy does happen to come along before you have a chance to go on a mission, and if it turns out that you're not upset about that after all, or even if you are, to tell your grandfather that he'll be the first one you'll call to let know. It is so important to make plans for one's life and future, and you are so on top of what you want for one so young, which is a great thing.

Anyway, I would absolutely agree with annewandering that it would depend on the circumstances and knowledge at the time, as per having an opportunity but not accepting it. An opportunity to marry does not necessarily mean that accepting a particular opportunity with a particular person is the right choice to make. It's also important to keep in mind that in spite of the value of making plans for one's future, it's also important to have the ability to be very flexible because you just never know what the future might hold.

So, I would say that, while, on the one hand, one should not be so unreasonable in their expectations for a mate to demand such perfection in one that they place themselves entirely beyond that opportunity, I would, on the other hand, say that it can be just as much a mistake, if not more so, to settle for marriage to a partner with which one does not have sufficient commonality, love, or respect, to have a reasonable expectation of being able to successfully travel life's journey with and become one.

As for opportunities being found and given in the spirit world, yes, this can take place. I do know of one particular example of this. I will not attempt to explain the details, not only because I don't recall all of them sufficiently to do them justice, but particularly because I don't want to exploit the very sacred experiences of living individuals that helped to bring about the sealing in marriage of a deceased loved one.

But this particular example involved a man and woman who each lived and died without ever knowing each other, with each dying before being able to marry in mortality. They did not live on earth during the same time frame as each other, either, but they found and committed to one another other in the spirit world and through revelation this was made known to living individuals and after going through proper channels to obtain permission, this couple was able to be sealed by proxy in the temple.

[Blackmarch]

And then in the spirit world. Will you be given a chance?

No idea, but i wouldn't bank on it.... but i would definitely pray for it supposing if by that time I would want to be married (having presumeably passed up all the other chances during mortal life to that point).

[Jennarator]

I was proposed to several times before getting married. I knew I wanted to serve a mission first. Looking back, those guys were LDS, but nnot for me. I should have waited even longer as the guy I marrried was a doofus. Now I have a great guy, tho.

I think the trick is to listen to the spirit and do the best we can with our lives and then we will be in tune when we meet the right person, we should know.

[Forget-Me-Not]

No idea, but i wouldn't bank on it.... but i would definitely pray for it supposing if by that time I would want to be married (having presumeably passed up all the other chances during mortal life to that point).

Yes, and I should point out I wouldn't want to bank on it either. That is to say, I know that every person who desires a mate and lives worthy of that blessing, will be granted it, whether in this life, or the next.

BUT, I surely wouldn't want to tell myself, "Oh, I don't think I want to deal with that right now. Too many other things I'd rather do in life, so I'm just gonna wait for the Spirit world to find my mate."

Of course (and thankfully) there is repentance even after bad decisions and choices, but we also don't want to be of the mindset that it's okay to think we can live life however we please without regard to commandments of the Lord and expect to reap the rewards anyway.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I think the Lord will make a very merciful judgment to people who could get married, but don't, for whatever reason. Matters of the heart are very fragile and fickle, and unpredictable. I feel confident that the Lord will not penalize people who don't get married if they have concerns, or feel it's the wrong time. With eternity ahead of them....I suspect there will be many others who will want spouses eventually who will want to tie the knot who also missed the marriage parade in this life.

Ultimately, these decisions are the Lord's, and I trust Him...One GA said that in the end, when the Lord must assign blessings and punishments, the blessings will be the most He can give, and the punishments, the least He can justify.

Edited November 29, 2011 by mormonmusic

[Forget-Me-Not]

I think the Lord will make a very merciful judgment to people who could get married, but don't, for whatever reason. Matters of the heart are very fragile and fickle, and unpredictable. I feel confident that the Lord will not penalize people who don't get married if they have concerns, or feel it's the wrong time. With eternity ahead of them....I suspect there will be many others who will want spouses eventually who will want to tie the knot who also missed the marriage parade in this life.

Ultimately, these decisions are the Lord's, and I trust Him...One GA said that in the end, when the Lord must assign blessings and punishments, the blessings will be the most He can give, and the punishments, the least He can justify.

Oh goodness, I should add here, too, I very much agree with merciful judgment as well, especially where matters of the heart are concerned. I was married for 34 years and learned many hard and very painful lessons during that time. Things are often much more complicated than we ever expected they would be, yet sometimes they can be so much simpler than we tend to think we must make them. Sometimes we can be so zealous in our desire to do the right thing, that we miss the directions of the Spirit, because we aren't still enough to listen.

[sister_in_faith]

I wonder if even those who marry, if they marry the 'wrong' one, will have an opportunity to re-marry. I wouldn't be surprised. There are a lot of spirits to match up, and I'm sure that here on earth we haven't done the best job of it.

[john doe]

As for opportunities being found and given in the spirit world, yes, this can take place. I do know of one particular example of this. I will not attempt to explain the details, not only because I don't recall all of them sufficiently to do them justice, but particularly because I don't want to exploit the very sacred experiences of living individuals that helped to bring about the sealing in marriage of a deceased loved one.

But this particular example involved a man and woman who each lived and died without ever knowing each other, with each dying before being able to marry in mortality. They did not live on earth during the same time frame as each other, either, but they found and committed to one another other in the spirit world and through revelation this was made known to living individuals and after going through proper channels to obtain permission, this couple was able to be sealed by proxy in the temple.

Please cite references for this story, because it smells fishy to me. Unless a modern-day Prophet of the Lord was directly involved, I would highly doubt the assertion. Perhaps it may happen in the Millenium, but as far as I know, currently the people involved must be listed on historical records as being married.

[Echo2002]

In my Patriarchal Blessing it tells me not to worry about marriage at this time, a Melchezedic(?) Priesthood holder will be provided for me. I'm 33 and I've never been on a date with a guy who likes me more than just friends. I attend single's activities, but no one seems interested. I don't know what is going to happen in the spirit world, but I don't think we will be penalized for something we have no control over.

[Martain]

One question to ask yourself is if there is a difference between having the opportunity to marry and having the fullness of opportunities to marry.

There are many who having the opportunity to marry in this life still chose not to.

Whether or not these individuals will have the opportunity to marry in the next life will depend largely on two things.

1. The fullness of their opportunity

For example, lets say you have an ex-boyfriend who was abusive and now he's stalking you because he wants you to marry him. Do you have an opportunity to marry? Sure. Are you going to be punished for slapping a restraining order on the dude and going your merry way? I doubt it.

2. The fullness of their knowledge regarding it's need

For example, someone who had never heard of the gospel and who knew nothing of eternal marriages or the need to be married to enter the highest level of the celestial kingdom will be judged differently from someone who has had the gospel and knew the need for marriage yet chose not to do so.

We don't know the exact scale the Lord will use in determining this qualification but we know he will be merciful as well as just. He will be the one who determines whether or not we had the fullness of opportunity for marriage.

[UrbanFool]

I don't see why someone should HAVE to get married. Perhaps your path just lies elsewhere. I didn't get married until I was 32, so there really is a long time to thing about it.

[maiku]

I don't see why someone should HAVE to get married. Perhaps your path just lies elsewhere. I didn't get married until I was 32, so there really is a long time to thing about it.

I don't see why anyone should HAVE to obey any of God's commandments.

It's not about obligation but rather a desire to do God's will and the faith that by doing so we will also be doing what's best for us in the eternal scheme of things.

Perhaps you were referring to rushing into marriage, with which I completely agree. One should also keep in mind the risk of procrastinating or putting off marriage as if it weren't a priority.

[jayanna]

I don't think one should rush into a sealing just for the sake of being sealed. While we do want to be obedient, I don't think someone should get sealed unless they do not wish to be in the eternity without the other. I would hate the idea of spending an eternity with someone who only got sealed to be obedient, it undermines my individual worth.

[UrbanFool]

I don't see why anyone should HAVE to obey any of God's commandments.

It's not about obligation but rather a desire to do God's will and the faith that by doing so we will also be doing what's best for us in the eternal scheme of things.

Perhaps you were referring to rushing into marriage, with which I completely agree. One should also keep in mind the risk of procrastinating or putting off marriage as if it weren't a priority.

My comment had nothing to do with obeying God's commands. I also thank God I didn't marry any of the 4 guys that asked (and I said "yes" to before coming to my senses.) When I meet my maker, I hope I don't have to say I got divorced 5 times before I found "the right one".

[Forget-Me-Not]

Please cite references for this story, because it smells fishy to me. Unless a modern-day Prophet of the Lord was directly involved, I would highly doubt the assertion. Perhaps it may happen in the Millenium, but as far as I know, currently the people involved must be listed on historical records as being married.

I'm sorry I'm unable to cite references for you. This is not something I read about. It's something that took place within the family of someone I know personally and I'd had the privilege of meeting the young woman in the story shortly before her death. Ordinarily I wouldn't even mention an example like this, particularly because of the way hearsay stories tend to take on a life of their own, but I just felt impressed to. I wish I could say more, but as far as I know the family has not yet published an account of what happened. But truly I do appreciate your skepticism.

It was, indeed, a highly unusual circumstance and, yes, they did have to seek clearance from the first presidency, which they did. If I could relate the events as they unfolded you would understand better why I mentioned it, though. I do regret that I cannot explain further, as all it involved was quite an interesting process and it also involved such amazing love that I wish I could share the beautiful nature of all that transpired to bring it about, but for the sake of privacy I don't feel at liberty to say more publicly. I'm sorry.

[Madriglace]

If we live up to our covenants and are the best we can be it will be taken care of. Of this I have no worry. I am 58 (well almost another 26 days) and never been married. I have been engaged twice but they didn't want the temple so I didn't want them. I know I will not be forgotten and left out.

[Seminarysnoozer]

I wonder if even those who marry, if they marry the 'wrong' one, will have an opportunity to re-marry. I wouldn't be surprised. There are a lot of spirits to match up, and I'm sure that here on earth we haven't done the best job of it.

I agree. There are likely more not married than married if you count all those that died before the age of 8 and all those that lived in this life with diseases such as Trisomy 21. That number probably outnumbers all the members of the church in all dispensations, at least to this point.