NessaBee Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) Hi everybody, I'm getting married in January 2012 (not a sealing/temple wedding yet, but a small ceremony in my fiance's ward chapel) and I'm a convert (10/31/10). I've already purchased a wedding dress (Satin A-line with Asymmetrical Skirt - David's Bridal) (you can also view the back of the dress on this same page, below the big picture of the dress) with these cap sleeves added: Cap sleeve with beaded floral motif. - David's Bridal. When I tried it on, I didn't think it was immodest. I really liked the dress (with the cap sleeves, of course) and it fit the budget also. I bought a veil that goes to my waist to go along with it and overall, I was happy with my outfit. But I am kind of concerned that other people (mainly my in-laws) might not think it's modest since it isn't the traditional short sleeve wedding dress that I've seen so many other LDS women wear to their sealing/temple wedding. I really need help on deciding what do (if I can or shouldn't wear the dress down the aisle alone). I want to know what you think. If it is immodest then I'm going to order a jacket to go over it, something this: bridesmaid jacket style: VPBJ015 [VPBJ015] - $20.00 : $70-$90|cheap bridesmaid dresses|free shipping-V.P in white. I might even modify it to a short sleeve instead of a 3/4 sleeve. Any kind and helpful information is appreciated! Thanks so much! ~Nessa Edited December 1, 2011 by NessaBee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Super pretty dress!! It would, however be considered immodest to most LDS as it wouldn't cover much shoulder, and the sleves are sheer. If you have a good relationship with your soon to be mother in law ask her advice. Ask the RS president, or a close friend. They might be able to help. I know that some people are much more conservitive about modesty than others, and depending on the people that will be there, it may or may not matter, much. Also does your fiance care. I know you don't want to show him the dress, however does he care about if you have sheer or full sleves? I think his opinion matters, too, as he is the one you want to look good for. Perhaps just asking if he would feel more comfortable if you had sleves around his family, on his wedding day or not. Have fun and congrats!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Hi everybody, I'm getting married in January 2012 (not a sealing/temple wedding yet, but a small ceremony in my fiance's ward chapel) and I'm a convert (10/31/10). I've already purchased a wedding dress (Satin A-line with Asymmetrical Skirt - David's Bridal) (you can also view the back of the dress on this same page, below the big picture of the dress) with these cap sleeves added: Cap sleeve with beaded floral motif. - David's Bridal. When I tried it on, I didn't think it was immodest. I really liked the dress (with the cap sleeves, of course) and it fit the budget also. I bought a veil that goes to my waist to go along with it and overall, I was happy with my outfit. But I am kind of concerned that other people (mainly my in-laws) might not think it's modest since it isn't the traditional short sleeve wedding dress that I've seen so many other LDS women wear to their sealing/temple wedding. I really need help on deciding what do (if I can or shouldn't wear the dress down the aisle alone). I want to know what you think. If it is immodest then I'm going to order a jacket to go over it, something this: bridesmaid jacket style: VPBJ015 [VPBJ015] - $20.00 : $70-$90|cheap bridesmaid dresses|free shipping-V.P in white. I might even modify it to a short sleeve instead of a 3/4 sleeve. Any kind and helpful information is appreciated! Thanks so much! ~NessaFAIR WARNING: I am the very last person you would ever want to get fashion advice from.Looking at the picture (and it is a very pretty dress), my impression is that the sleeveless/strapless look may not go over well at an LDS service, and in fact may not even be allowed. I suspect that few LDS bishops in my area (western US) would allow a strapless gown for a chapel wedding.But I don't know if that's the case where you are, so you may wish to check with your fiance's bishop first. If it's not deemed appropriate, I suspect there are sisters (and, heck, maybe even some of the brethren) who could make some adjustments to the wedding gown to make it acceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Nessa,Here is a link to some Satin Bolero jackets that I think would cover the subject and still be ultra feminine and modest View Satin Bolero by alexbridal on Etsy This one is nice Ivory sleeveless satin wedding bolero jacket shrug by alexbridal . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Super pretty dress!! It would, however be considered immodest to most LDS as it wouldn't cover much shoulder, and the sleves are sheer. If you have a good relationship with your soon to be mother in law ask her advice. Ask the RS president, or a close friend. They might be able to help. I know that some people are much more conservitive about modesty than others, and depending on the people that will be there, it may or may not matter, much. Also does your fiance care. I know you don't want to show him the dress, however does he care about if you have sheer or full sleves? I think his opinion matters, too, as he is the one you want to look good for. Perhaps just asking if he would feel more comfortable if you had sleves around his family, on his wedding day or not. Have fun and congrats!!Thanks so much for the advice! I agree, pleasing the future hubby that day is very important. I will definitely ask a couple of my future in-laws and will buy a jacket just in case. Thanks again for everything :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 FAIR WARNING: I am the very last person you would ever want to get fashion advice from.Looking at the picture (and it is a very pretty dress), my impression is that the sleeveless/strapless look may not go over well at an LDS service, and in fact may not even be allowed. I suspect that few LDS bishops in my area (western US) would allow a strapless gown for a chapel wedding.But I don't know if that's the case where you are, so you may wish to check with your fiance's bishop first. If it's not deemed appropriate, I suspect there are sisters (and, heck, maybe even some of the brethren) who could make some adjustments to the wedding gown to make it acceptable.Thank you. By the way, I wasn't planning on wearing the dress without sleeves, LOL. No way. But I will try to consult the Bishop about the dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Nessa,Here is a link to some Satin Bolero jackets that I think would cover the subject and still be ultra feminine and modest View Satin Bolero by alexbridal on Etsy This one is nice Ivory sleeveless satin wedding bolero jacket shrug by alexbridal .Thanks for recommending that website! I will definitely check it out. The jackets are very pretty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) It doesn't matter what anybody else say in the ward - including your mother in law.What does matter is that you are preparing for the temple. When we made our baptismal covenants, we covenanted to abide by certain things such as the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity. Part of that is the choice of dress we wear. At baptism, it's a very general guideline. But, the temple is a lot stricter because of the garments.Therefore, if your intention is to be sealed to your spouse, then the preparation for that starts now. And a marriage is one of the most important events in your life as an eternal family with God. This would be something you would want to abide by the standards set forth by the church. And the standards is - even if you're not yet qualified to go to the temple, you always want to stay worthy of a temple recommend - and as far as fashion goes, you want to be garment-appropriate.There are a gazillion bridal gowns. It would be much less complicated to choose a super awesomely cute garment-appropriate gown without having to add/change/alter/retrofit it to be such. My sister wore a super awesome "Maria Clara" gown (Filipino) for her Catholic wedding. It's the best gown I've ever seen including the ones in Hollywood.It's like this except everything from the cape to the hem of the train is in embroidered lace: Edited December 1, 2011 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 It doesn't matter what anybody else say in the ward - including your mother in law.What does matter is that you are preparing for the temple. When we made our baptismal covenants, we covenanted to abide by certain things such as the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity. Part of that is the choice of dress we wear. At baptism, it's a very general guideline. But, the temple is a lot stricter because of the garments.Therefore, if your intention is to be sealed to your spouse, then the preparation for that starts now. And a marriage is one of the most important events in your life as an eternal family with God. This would be something you would want to abide by the standards set forth by the church. And the standards is - even if you're not yet qualified to go to the temple, you always want to stay worthy of a temple recommend - and as far as fashion goes, you want to be garment-appropriate.There are a gazillion bridal gowns. It would be much less complicated to choose a super awesomely cute garment-appropriate gown without having to add/change/alter/retrofit it to be such. My sister wore a super awesome "Maria Clara" gown (Filipino) for her Catholic wedding. It's the best gown I've ever seen including the ones in Hollywood.It's like this except everything from the cape to the hem of the train is in embroidered lace:Thank you for your insight. I agree with mostly everything you have said but since I've purchased my dress already, I'll definitely just wear a nice jacket on top of it. If I were to go back in time though, I still wouldn't have had the time to find or order a modest dress such as the one you mentioned. In addition, I had a tight budget that I needed to stick to and the dress you provided in your comment looks very fancy and eccentric to me, nonetheless I'm sure it looked gorgeous on your sister. Unfortunately, none of the dresses I found in stores were modest enough and I had to make some changes to make it look more appropriate, but overall I am happy with the dress I chose and don't find it complicated at all. I just need to wear a simple jacket to cover the shoulders since my effort to make the dress more modest clearly didn't cut it. Thanks again though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Those sheer cap sleeves would be easy to underline with a piece of regular satin. Just an idea. The dress is beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Just an FYI: Weddings are not allowed in LDS chapels. They aren't even set up for weddings with an aisle down the middle (except in some of the really old buildings or if the building is rented.) Most LDS weddings which are held at the meeting house are done in the cultural hall. There are amazing ways to decorate to make it look much better than just a cultural hall. Also, the RS room can be used. Check with the Bishop. BTW...beautiful dress, but not LDS standard. David's Bridal might be able to help with that though. I know the stores in Utah can put sleeves on just about anything. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Just an FYI: Weddings are not allowed in LDS chapels. They aren't even set up for weddings with an aisle down the middle (except in some of the really old buildings or if the building is rented.) Yes, they are. There are restrictions on what is allowed, but chapels are used for weddings. I've attended a few in LDS chapels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes, they are. There are restrictions on what is allowed, but chapels are used for weddings. I've attended a few in LDS chapels.ok. Then the Bishop has approved it. They aren't normally approved at least not where I live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 Lately the weddings I have seen have been in the cultural hall. They used to be in the chapel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 We were not allowed to use the chapel for ours. Bishop said the new rules are no wedding there, we usded the RS room. Still waiting for our cancellations to go thru two years later......yes we were worthy for a temple wedding, just still waiting.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 ... I want to know what you think. ... ~Nessa Nessa, My advice - do what-ever you can to make the beautiful dress even more modest than everyone expects. Then tell your daughters , granddaughters and great granddaughters (sons to) what a joy modesty is in preparing for marriage. Make this a saga to be told and remembered in your family for generations. Congratulations - especially on your efforts to make your wedding wonderful for you and your guests.The Traveler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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