YaYaYaYana Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Hi there.... I'm currently 22 years old for like another month... when I was 20 and 21 I messed up and sinned... Being the spineless coward that I am I don't really want to get punished by the bishop..... so I've been hiding out.. I haven't gone to church since 2008 December so it's been 3 years... I'm just thinking about waiting till I'm 40..that way When I come back to the bishop to confess.. he'll just tell me " That's ok it was a long time ago...Just come back.." ~ No discipline.. nothing.. I'll be free.... It's driving me crazy though .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 So you would rather go crazy for 18 years in the hope of no discipline than own up now and get it over with then live the 18 years without hiding? Hmm is it such a hard choice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted December 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 It is though... easier said than done... Part of the problem is that I am still thinking about how sorry I am for that sin in the first place..... One of the things I like to live by is ... Never regret anything.. Because it too was once something that you wanted....... Don't you have to regret something a lot to confess it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 If you didnt regret it then you wouldnt be worrying about it. It is good to put things behind you but not before you deal with them. If its something that you need to go to the bishop about then you know you have not dealt with it completely yet. Your conscious is letting you know you are not done with it. No it might be easy to do but the decision is easy. Do you want this hanging on your back foever or do you want to be clean again? You already know what needs to be done. :) God loves you and will help you make it right if you decide that is what you are going to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 It is though... easier said than done...Part of the problem is that I am still thinking about how sorry I am for that sin in the first place.....One of the things I like to live by is ... Never regret anything.. Because it too was once something that you wanted....... Don't you have to regret something a lot to confess it?You have to regret something to repent from it in any meaningful sense. Part of repentance is Godly sorrow which can be termed regret. While it is good not to let regret rule your life it a bad thing to live by a philosophy that puts repentance outside of your reach depending on how you term regret. To live a life refusing to 'regret' is to live a life blind to the potential to become better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamas_Girl Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 I'm just thinking about waiting till I'm 40..that way When I come back to the bishop to confess.. he'll just tell me " That's ok it was a long time ago...Just come back.." ~No discipline.. nothing.. I'll be free....Been there, done that -- 25 years instead of a total of 21, but... I really don't recommend it. Seriously. No discipline? You'll be free? Take it from one who's been there, there is no greater punishment than what we put ourselves through. And no harsher judge, jury and executioner than we are to ourselves -- not repenting of sins can be a prison all its own. I carried an elephant around on my shoulders for 25 years, and then went in to my bishop. After talking to him I could feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders, literally. It leaves me wondering why I waited all those years. The joy and happiness of being set free by the atoning blood of Jesus Christ is true freedom, nothing delivers the joy and happiness that it does. But you have to do what's right for you, I can only share my own experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 On some level you already regret the sins or you wouldn't be worried about what the Bishop might think or do. My suggestion is to talk to the Bishop and get it over with. Do not think of anything he asks of you as punishment because it really isn't punishment. What he will ask of you is to repent and he will probably give you steps to take that will help you in the process. Why hold yourself away from the happiness and joy the gospel brings? think of the joy you'll have when its all behind you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dove Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Hi there....I'm currently 22 years old for like another month...when I was 20 and 21 I messed up and sinned... Being the spineless coward that I am I don't really want to get punished by the bishop..... so I've been hiding out.. I haven't gone to church since 2008 December so it's been 3 years...I'm just thinking about waiting till I'm 40..that way When I come back to the bishop to confess.. he'll just tell me " That's ok it was a long time ago...Just come back.." ~No discipline.. nothing.. I'll be free....It's driving me crazy though ....When you say "it's driving me crazy though...," it sounds like the Spirit is talking to you and encouraging you to begin the repentance process~Remember that it's not really about the bishop and whether or not he'll punish you. The bishop acts as a representative of Jesus Christ. The Savior loves us perfectly, and died so that even our darkest hours in sin can be turned for our good if we repent and trust in Him...He knows us perfectly and He already knows perfectly your sin, however grievous that sin may have been...He is reaching out with open arms to receive you in your efforts to repent....I believe He is our BFF...and as such is not here to arbitrarily punish us; but, to bless us with the best course of action for us...Maybe what this comes down to for you is how much you trust the bishop to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Do you believe in your bishop, that he'll exemplify the Savior in his dealings with you? Perhaps something to think about.Just remember how much God loves you and wants the best for you and your eternal welfare. The longer you keep from fully repenting, so much the longer you will not be able to really feel HIs love for you, the deep abiding love that can only be felt through being worthy of the Holy Spirit.Best of wishes in this process for you..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Are you a melchizedek priesthood holder? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted December 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Are you a melchizedek priesthood holder?No, Im a 22 year old Girl~ wait.... does this mean girls don't get punished as strictly as men are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RescueMom Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 No, Im a 22 year old Girl~ wait.... does this mean girls don't get punished as strictly as men are? No, not necessarily, but a non-endowed member usually gets a lessor punishment, lessor covenants have been broken.Mamma_Girl is right, don't wait that long. If you go in and confess, wanting true repentance, it won't be as difficult as you think. Most Bishops are very loving and want to help people return to the flock, excommunicating someone is one of the very last resorts they want to use. If you wait until you're 40, you might be so far away from the church you won't want to come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 No, Im a 22 year old Girl~ wait.... does this mean girls don't get punished as strictly as men are? Not necessarily... But Melchizedek Priesthood holders are under the Stake President for major transgressions while everyone else is under the Bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Also taken into account is the person's knowledge and maturity in the gospel, as well as the state of their heart. A leader, melchizedek priesthood holder, would generally have a stiffer time of it upon confession, I believe, than a single person who has no priesthood and isn't long in the tooth in the gospel. However, it would be up to the Bishop to consider everything. He has a lot of leeway in making judgments about things like this. I would go and get it over with. I doubt if there will be excommunication. Better do that than waiting 18 years and feeling beat up over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamas_Girl Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 (edited) I will add that I did have another experience that resulted in my being put on church probation. However, I didn't see it as a punishment. I knew what I did was wrong, and I wanted to get it taken care of, so I looked at the punishment more with gladness than with sorrow because I knew that the worst was over and things could only get better. Church probation isn't the same as excommunication. You're still a member, you'll still be expected to attend church meetings, pray fervently at home, and study the scriptures; what you can't do is give public prayers in church, hold callings, or take the sacrament, or of course attend the temple. This usually only lasts from 6-12 months, and then you can go back to doing all the usual things. So don't fear probation either, it's another good thing. The main thing you'll need to do is put it behind you and not repeat your mistake. I didn't "like" resuemom's post because she agreed with me, but because she made a very important comment, the longer you are away from the church the lesser your chances of coming back. I know I came back from my first post because my bishop decided he was going to get me back before his release. That'll teach him, I just came back and he was bishop for something like 8 years! He just kept praying for me till my return. I am now a full temple recommend holder once again. :) The reason that I'm saying this is that it's true, once anyone stops coming out to church they're, in a sense, inviting the wrong spirit in. And once the wrong one gets settled he's a devil to get rid of, and the road back is more painful than if the individual just did the right thing in the first place. Don't let your fear of punishment prevent you from enjoying the blessings of the gospel like I did in my first post. See your bishop ASAP and he'll know what you'll need to do. Edited December 12, 2011 by Mamas_Girl decided to explain probation a bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Something implied in your OP is that "I'll just sin now and repent later." You may not consciously be thinking this, but that is, in essence, what your question is asking. Alma taught about procrastinating repentance. Ultimately, when one has that type of an attitude, they are mocking the atonement. They may not be doing that deliberately because they lack a true understanding of the atonement and repentance. However, by saying that I can just repent later, they are saying that the atonement isn't necessary for them. Also, you are afraid of being punished. I've often said we are all spiritual 2 year olds. That is a childish reaction to doing wrong. A child will often seek to hide or lie to his parents to avoid punishment. A responsible adult will admit mistakes, make restitution as much as possible, learn and resolve to not make the same mistake. In other words--repent. As others have said, part of repentance is having a godly sorrow--a regret for the wrong action. I hope that you realize that your reaction to repent in 20 years is not the attitude or action the Lord wants for you. Regardless of what you did and regardless of the consequences, God wants you to repent and return to Him. I hope you choose to do so. The bishop is the man the Lord has authorized and blessed to guide you through this. Give him a chance to help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 And when you are 40 you will have wasted 20 years .... been there done that, not a good thing. Now I am having to cram 20 years of doing what needs done in a very short span of time. We have no guaranteees on our time on earth ... can you afford to waste a single second? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted January 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Thank you everyone for your comments... I read each and every one of them .. even though I didn't reply to eat one individually I have given them some thought..... I really don't mean to be mocking the atonement.... My mom has found a closer ward to our house and has thought about switching... Is it ok to switch first and just do the confession with the New Bishop? I might still be scared of consequences but confessing to a stranger might feel a lot better... Since I;m gonna be turning 23 in about 3 1/2 weeks i might as well get it over with >.< 2) Switch and do the confession with new bishop? 3) Do the confession with my current Bishop? Which choice seems better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldsz Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Which ever Bishop is assigned to you in the ward that encompasses your geographical area is the one that would be best to report to as he as the direct authority/stewardship over you - meaning he receives total inspiration over what will be best for you. Not saying that meeting any other bishop is bad, but it is far better to meet with the one who has stewardship over the ward you belong to. I remember I always wanted to talk about some of the problems I had being in a part-member family to an older man in my ward that I trusted, yet, he would always say the same thing, "Go talk to the Bishop, he is the one who receives that inspiration for you and has stewardship over you, he can help you more than I can". So that's my two cents! Best of luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) Alma 13: 27 And now, my brethren, I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the day of your repentance;And a great talk by Elder Eyring Do Not Delay - Ensign Nov. 1999 - ensignI especially like this point: even should we be forgiven at some later time, the Lord cannot restore the good effects our repentance today might have had on those we love and are to serve. That is particularly poignant for the parents of young children. In those tender years there are chances for shaping and lifting spirits which may never come again. But even the grandfather who may have missed chances with his own children might, by choosing to repent today, do for grandchildren what he once could have done for their parents. Edited January 2, 2012 by Eowyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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