Feedback on a trip I would like to take..

[Bini]

If you have a spouse and kids, do you ever do something COMPLETELY for yourself?

My sister and I have been entertaining the idea of attending a convention for fans in Chicago later this year. She's gone to these before and has come back with cool souvenirs etc etc. Anyway, I have never been interested in anything like this before, until a year ago when I started watching this particular series, its anime series and reading its comics. Now, I'd LOVE to go with her! In my head, I know how this could workout. My parents would love to watch baby for a weekend and my husband will be busy working his usual schedule, so no issues there. Saying that, this trip will be expensive - no question. The bundle package we're wanting is not the ultimate fan VIP treatment but it's silver grade, so it's still going to cost an arm and a leg. Although I haven't committed to anything, a yes or no will need to be decided on my part soon because tickets get sold out fast! I mean, people fly from all over the world to attend these.. They have big red letters on their website saying that if you don't order gold or silver packages, there's no guarantee you'll get seats or even get in! Lame :[ So if we go - we go big.

Now for the question. Is this trip completely inappropriate for me to bring up to with my husband? I'm not so sure he'll say no, in fact, there's a good chance he'll say "go ahead" but I know that a big part of him will be bumming because that's a lot of cash blown on just me, when it could be used, or saved, for something else.

[IamMe]

Are you debt free?

If not, than the money probably could be better put towards bills and such. If yes, than by all means go for it...provided it doesn't mean you go into any debt to do so.

[JudoMinja]

I attended an anime convention once. :) It was local, and it was while I was living on-campus at college. I went with a group of college friends and we all even made our own costumes to go in. I loved it. It was an amazing, fun experience, and I got tons of great pictures of other peoples costumes. I wouldn't mind going to one again someday . When my son is a little older, if he likes anime, I might take him to one with me.

I would suggest trying to find out if there are any anime conventions held closer to where you live that would be a bit smaller than the Chicago one, and therefore cheaper. If you can find one, I'd attend there instead.

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be allowed to do something big and fun for yourself with your friends. Just remember that it needs to be something within the means of your family budget, and something where you wouldn't mind if your husband wanted to do something similar for himself. If the expense is just going to be too much, you may have to settle for trying to find something different of interest that you can participate in.

[Vort]

If you have a spouse and kids, do you ever do something COMPLETELY for yourself?

As in the trip example you gave? No, not really.

Now for the question. Is this trip completely inappropriate for me to bring up to with my husband? I'm not so sure he'll say no, in fact, there's a good chance he'll say "go ahead" but I know that a big part of him will be bumming because that's a lot of cash blown on just me, when it could be used, or saved, for something else.

Whether or not it's "inappropriate" is between you and your husband. I am sure that many other couples have done such things. That doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing to do, though. I'd say you should discuss it with him.

[Dravin]

Sure, all the time. I buy myself sodas, eat out lunch by myself occasionally, add things to the shopping list intended just for me, and buy myself computer games (Steam sales). At some point I'll be upgrading my gaming rig or buying a new one and while I'd be willing to let my lovely wife use it I don't pretend that it'll be for both of us.

If you can afford to spend an amount of money for something intended solely for you is going to be a factor of finances.

Edited March 22, 2012 by Dravin

[beefche]

I with Vort. Talk to your husband and even let him know that you are concerned he will say yes and still be bummed about spending the money like that. Perhaps this is something you can do next year and do something less expensive this year?

[annewandering]

Sometimes, after discussing it with your husband, you just have to go for it. If you can afford it, it wont cause big problems, etc then why not?

[Bini]

Regarding the finances.. We've definitely been on budget after last year's bills (DH had emergency surgery and then I had a baby). I'll casually bring it up with my husband and see what he thinks about it. "Casual" being the keyword, that way, he won't feel pressured in saying yes.

@ Dravin - Wow! Gaming rigs are pricey!

[mrmarklin]

If you can afford it go for it. You only go around once!

What else do we do with our lives except build memories with family and friends? At the end of the day that's really all there is.

Of course building a relationship with God is part of the equation, too. But in large part it ends up being the same thing.

[Dravin]

@ Dravin - Wow! Gaming rigs are pricey!

Depends what class you look at. I'm not as crazy as some folks, I'm more in the $800-1000 dollar range for a gaming rig (I know some people who wouldn't consider that a gaming rig, but I upgrade, purchases, and put together my systems with gaming in mind ergo gaming rig as opposed to school/work/general purpose) and I tend to do it every 3-4 years or so (interim upgrades delay that). That's ~$30 a month on the high side and ~$17 a month on the low side. Games add to that a little bit but I keep an eye out for deals and try to play the heck out of my games. I've got one game that I spent $10 on sale and I've played ~80 hours out of it and will probably be putting more into it. That's less than 13 cents an hour for entertainment. Of course that's a best case scenario.

You do it right and gaming doesn't have to be an expensive hobby, though if you insist on $3000 machines every other year and blow through a few brand new ($50-$60) games a month it can be. And of course even if it's reasonable once you consider time it doesn't get rid of the sticker shock when you have a Newegg shopping cart with $800 worth of parts in it.

Edited March 22, 2012 by Dravin

[annewandering]

My 'gaming' machine, lol, cost me 399?, or thereabouts, at walmart. FFXI is pretty good on computers. there is a monthly charge but that is variable depending on budget. Castleville costs nothing but time. ^^ The computer is a big expense in our house but my husband uses the handmedown one since he doesnt game at all. I am pretty good with computers so we can stretch the life out till it just cant handle the traffic anymore.

I do feel somewhat guilty but then again it keeps me happy and my mind active, which is always good when you cant get around very well.

For me its money well spent. Life has to have more than drudge in it. Sometimes you just need to enjoy, maybe especially when there has been a lot of stress. :)

[Guest]

Now is probably the best time to talk about organizing your finances...

I've found that if my husband doesn't put us on a clear financial line, I would buy the latest iPad using mortgage money...

So, we have 3 accounts - his money, my money, kids money, and family money. It's all in the budget - he gets the same allowance as I do and then we set aside money for the kids' allowance. Then there's the family money that goes to bills, savings, investments, healthcare, car maintenance, house repairs, etc. etc. etc.

So that, if I get an opportunity to go to Chicago and there's no money in my allowance account, I don't get to go. But, at the same time, if I know it's coming well ahead of time, I can save up all my allowance money so I can go. :)

Now, we still squibble over who gets to treat the family to dinner out when the food budget in the family account gets blown...

[lizzy16]

I don't mean to get too off topic. But, a gaming rig? Is that like xbox, nintedo ect?

A family I know is doing good with finances. The wife take trips to see her sisters across the country a few times a year. I'd babysit for them :) The husband was happy the wife was spending time with her sister.

[IamMe]

I don't mean to get too off topic. But, a gaming rig? Is that like xbox, nintedo ect?

A family I know is doing good with finances. The wife take trips to see her sisters across the country a few times a year. I'd babysit for them :) The husband was happy the wife was spending time with her sister.

I think he means a computer. My hubby just spent 2 grand building a new system last month.

He's very proud of it. I use it for cruisin around on here

I know many other couples that enjoy travelling without their spouses. I personally couldn't imagine doing that. But that's just me, I feel like I get very little time with hubby as it is with work and all the other things going on, that I really treasure and look forward to every little bit I can get with him.

[Vort]

I've found that if my husband doesn't put us on a clear financial line, I would buy the latest iPad using mortgage money...

I wonder why?

So, we have 3 accounts - his money, my money, kids money, and family money.

Aha. Question answered.

:)

[Bini]

There is no "his" and "mine" when it comes to funds. But we do have money set aside for various things, such as: vacation, Christmas, K9's, etc.

[dahlia]

I used to go to Star Trek conventions every year. They were great fun and I have fond memories of going to them, and then taking my son when he was old enough. If you have the money, go for it, but don't go into debt for it.

[Guest]

I wonder why?

Aha. Question answered.

:)

:D:D

Hey, I forgot to mention SHOES! I don't have to count shoes...

[Vort]

:D:D

Hey, I forgot to mention SHOES! I don't have to count shoes...

Ah, yes! THAT makes three!

[Bini]

Well I talked about it with DH. He approves it and feels like this would be a great opportunity for my sister and I to spend time together (which we haven't done in YEARS). It's a still bit premature to celebrate but I'm already beaming with excitement. I guess this event will officially classify me as a nerd? We'll get to meet cast members, voice-actors and artists. I'm already debating whether I should "dress" for the occasion, or should I say, cosplay? I've recently been introduced to LARPing as well, although, I'm not that fanatic of a fan (yet..).

[Guest]

Have a great time! I figure I'll be able to do things like that when the kids are older or gone. I left for 5 days once to work as staff at a womens' retreat, and it was a lot to ask of my husband and his mom. We barely go anywhere as a family, so I'd feel too guilty to go anywhere that would cost much. We'd figure out somewhere that we could all go together. But someday. . . someday. . .

Right now I dream of going somewhere by myself and sleeping and reading and maybe getting a spa treatment or two.

[lizzy16]

Well I talked about it with DH. He approves it and feels like this would be a great opportunity for my sister and I to spend time together (which we haven't done in YEARS). It's a still bit premature to celebrate but I'm already beaming with excitement. I guess this event will officially classify me as a nerd? We'll get to meet cast members, voice-actors and artists. I'm already debating whether I should "dress" for the occasion, or should I say, cosplay? I've recently been introduced to LARPing as well, although, I'm not that fanatic of a fan (yet..).

Hahha. larping and anime?? Definite nerd. You would love my roommates.

[Bini]

Hahha. larping and anime?? Definite nerd. You would love my roommates.

Never "larped" but was introduced to the term about a month ago or so. Not really a hardcore anime fan either, this particular series didn't start off as an anime, but it is now :]