Fit or unfit to home school?

[Bini]

My child is nowhere near school-age but I'm curious as to how parents know whether or not they are cut-out (the whole package, eg: enough education, enough time to devote, enough patience) to do home school with their children. How do parents determine if their ability to teach will be a service, or disservice to their children? Is there a specific criteria that is considered? If so, what is listed on that criteria?

[annewandering]

Are you organized and determined? I am no good with structure so it was hard for me. Dont be too critical of yourself though. There are lots of sites online that can help you evaluate your feelings on whether you can do it. There are so many people homeschooling anymore that there is a lot of support online for you.

[Vort]

Do you sincerely want to homeschool your child? Yes? Then you are qualified. Whatever you don't know, you will learn along the way.

[Jenamarie]

What Vort said.

Take a look at home school curriculum, read some home schooling books, see what it *actually* entails, which may be different than what you *imagine* it entails (I know it was quiet a bit different than I'd expected when I first started researching it!) There are many curriculums that will guide the parent in how to present the material to the child, and how to test their knowledge to be sure that they're learning.

NO ONE will ever know your child the way you know your child. You will come to know her learning style, and as you move along your home school journey you'll be better able to tailor your teaching style to them. If a math program you picked out ends up going right over your child's head, you can change it, mid-school-year, and if you end up having to do some math into the summer that's no big deal. Your child doesn't fall behind, because your not tied to an arbitrary 180-day schedule.

Trust yourself. If you truly love your child then you'll keep a sharp eye open for where you might be falling short as a home school parent, and you'll make adjustments accordingly. You'll make mistakes, most likely, but most of them won't be of the "Oh my goodness, I've screwed up my child!" variety. And when you think about it, public school doesn't have a 100% success rate either, so cut yourself a little slack. If your child graduates from your home school with a strong character, a love of knowledge, and able to get into college, and/or enter into a trade that they have a passion for, then you've succeeded in your job as a parent. :)

[beefche]

You also don't have to homeschool the entire time. You can choose to homeschool to a certain age. Some areas have a hybrid program. We have one in my city. The child goes to school 2 days a week with other kids to learn very specific things. The other days, he works on the information and continues the studies.

[applepansy]

I agree with Vort. If you have the sincere, committed desire to home school, then you're qualified. You're more qualified that a certified teacher because you're the parent. You will know what your child needs and will be able to devote the time she needs.

There are so many resources for parents today. Its very easy to home school. As Anne said there is support from other parents but there is more than that. There are sites which have a curriculum and lesson plans, groups in your area who meet to do group activities, etc. Its possible to home school through high school with not a lot of headache and effort because kids can do high school online.

What's fun about home schooling is that you can learn right along with your child, especially when they get older.

If you're serious about it google and join a few forums and ask questions of people who are home schooling. Try to find a group in your area and ask about their support system and activities.

I think its amazing you're thinking about this now.

I home schooled my oldest child his 9th grade year. He got in trouble in public school and we were another year before we could move from a not-so-good school environment. I met with the school district to find out what I needed to do exactly so that he would get credit and then documented everything. This was in 1992-3. It wasn't difficult. There are so many places that have resources and they aren't even online, not that online was even an option back then. LOL

If I had to do it over again I would home school all my kids through at least junior high. I ended up almost home schooling anyway. Most of my kids teachers sent so much homework home that we were doing at least 4 hours of schooling at night. I told my daughter's 7th grade English teacher that if I have to spend over an hour a night on English then I might as well just take my daughter out of her class and teach her at home anyway. I'm not against homework. It is important and places a vital role in learning, but it really got out of hand there for awhile.

I'm considering a combination of public and homeschooling for my grandson. I'm not sure how that will play out. He desperately needs the association of other children but he's going to be reading before he get to Kindergarten and then be bored.

[Guest]

And like anything else, homeschooling is a job. You'll need to treat it like you would a paid job. With planning, goals, measurements, training, and consistency - not just for the child but for you as well. You can't just one day say... ah, my girlfriends are calling me to go to the spa. Time to drop the kid at the in-laws and run!

And on this year's Scripps Spelling Bee semi-finalist is a home schooler from my town. Unfortunately, the 6-year-old homeschooler (youngest contestant ever) did not make it to semis after mis-spelling ingluvies. Yep, a 6-year-old homeschooler. Ingluvies.

[NeuroTypical]

Yep - what everyone else is saying. Get the right curriculums, and you learn right alongside your kid.

I helped teach my kids to read. Two experiences I would not trade for all the riches of the world. Now they're working on making "their diction crisp and clear, their speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to the ear" (Phineas and Ferb reference).

I'm helping teach my kids to spell. I never had a problem with it, they're struggling like kids do. We curse at the english language and all it's stupid rules and exceptions. But we're learning.

For math, one kid is just plain better at it than I am, and I was there to see it happen. I am totally able and capable of continuing to teach her - she just grasps concepts faster and does more things in her head than I will ever be able to. There may be tutors or early college classes or whatever when the advanced algebra shows up.

Although I had an 8 yr old kid better at math than me, I can do this math pretty well:

Quality of education:

1 teacher for 20 students < 1 teacher for 2 students

[Guest]

Quality of education:

1 teacher for 20 students < 1 teacher for 2 students

I'm sorry, I have to disagree with this.

Japanese schools is 1 teacher to 60 students. You can pit any Japanese student against any American homeschooler any day of the week.

My sister's kids go to the Catholic School where her husband works. 1 teacher to 20 students. All 3 of her kids can take on your homeschooler any day of the week too.

My kid goes to a Montessori school. 1 teacher and 1 assistant to 18 kids. Any of the kids in his class can take on your homeschooler any day of the week too.

My other kid goes to a regular public school. 1 teacher to 23 kids. My kid can take on your homeschooler any day of the week. I can't speak for all other 22 kids though...

Edited May 31, 2012 by anatess

[NeuroTypical]

I understand where you're coming from, but you're comparing apples and oranges. Bini's question isn't about how to obtain the absolute best quality education the planet has to offer by moving to Japan. She's looking into what would happen if she homeschools vs. other options in her area and culture.

Think of it this way: Japaneese schools have one teacher for 60 students. Do you believe that if Japan had one teacher for 30 students, they'd do worse?

My basic opinion, is that in general, the more individualized attention a student gets, the better that student will do. Do you disagree? If so, how come?

[Bini]

I'm skeptical of homeschooling but the idea does appeal to me. I have a friend that is a Special Ed teacher and about half of the students she sees are homeschooled that are behind grade level. So this has contributed to my uncertainties of homeschooling. Just because you can, doesn't mean that you should. I'm sure some of these students my friend teaches in Special Ed come from homeschooling parents with a lot of heart and soul in what they do. But in general, I agree that if there's a desire and a will, there's a way and anything is achievable. My husband is perhaps a bit more skeptical about homeschooling than I am. He worries that my patience will wear thin with it being a continuous 1-1 with our daughter, especially, in a contained learning environment. I know I have the ability to teach, I believe my educational background and self-discipline will come in handy but I too question whether overall I'm in a position to follow through with it long-term. I understand that homeschool doesn't have to be a "forever thing". You can do homeschool and school, or eventually transition your kids into school as they get older. I know there are options. At this point, I'm just curious how others determined whether they were cut-out for it.

[Jenamarie]

It doesn't have to be a contained environment. You don't have to do 100% of your homeschool at home. :) You can do trips to museums, or join a homeschool co-op with with other homeschooling families that will pool resources to teach enrichment classes and have park days. You'll also have more time in the day for your kid to do things like piano lessons, or sewing lessons, or other classes that can be "outsourced" to other persons to teach, after you're done with the academic stuff for the day (because covering a days worth of material with just 1 child takes far fewer hours than it does to cover the same material with 20+ kids). "Homeschool" can be a bit of a misnomer sometimes.

[beefche]

After seeing my best friend homeschool her kids--I'm all for it. It's not like she stood in front of them and lectured them for 8 hrs/day. She would get them started on the computer program that taught them and answer questions they had. She would take them on trips to the museum or other places to learn more about the subject.

It looked like a lot of fun, actually.

[Guest]

My basic opinion, is that in general, the more individualized attention a student gets, the better that student will do. Do you disagree? If so, how come?

I agree to a point. There are two people at play here plus the system of instruction. Individualized attention does not necessarily mean a 1:2 teacher to student ratio. There are environments who you can put 1:1 to and they would still fail due to the skillset/personality of the teacher not matching with the student and the system of instruction. There are environments who you can put 1:100 to and they will maintain high quality because they have an amazing system of instruction with an amazing teacher that works with that dynamic.

Individualized attention means knowing how to identify the teacher/student/system of instruction limitations and putting together an environment where all 3 match perfectly.

...

And as I write this, I am seething at my public school son's idiot teacher who is barring my 5th grader from attending his last day of elementary school party because he failed to turn in a field trip form 2 weeks ago. This child has been paper-organization challenged since he was born. "A" student regardless. What irks me more is that I'm in constant communication with this teacher and she knows that he is paper challenged and that I am working with him constantly on it. Field trip forms are important, so I always stay on top of it. But, I wouldn't know anything about a missing form unless the teacher tells me... and so I ask her why she didn't tell me this time and she said, I'm teaching your son responsibility. Oh really? This is your idea of teaching my kid how to remember to turn in forms? By setting him up to fail? Idiot. I mean... c'mon, he got an "A" in all his classes... which means, his paper organization skill was good enough to remember to bring home and turn in his homework to get an "A"!

---

P.S. A perfect FAIL 1:2 or even 1:1 scenario is me homeschooling my kids. Yep. I can't even manage to go through their homework without not feeling like wanting to pull both our hairs out. And yeah, I graduated Valedictorian in high school, cum laude in engineering with a master's degree. Yep.

Edited May 31, 2012 by anatess

[Vort]

I'm skeptical of homeschooling but the idea does appeal to me. I have a friend that is a Special Ed teacher and about half of the students she sees are homeschooled that are behind grade level.

Realize that your friend never sees the homeschooled students that are at or above grade level. She's a special ed teacher, so therefore she only ever sees the kids who are behind their grade level -- homeschooled, public schooled, or otherwise.

He worries that my patience will wear thin with it being a continuous 1-1 with our daughter, especially, in a contained learning environment.

One of the great attractions of homeschooling for us was the fact that we didn't have to ship our kids off for eight hours a day. Instead, we (that is, my wife) got to spend their growing-up lives WITH THEM.

[Guest]

After seeing my best friend homeschool her kids--I'm all for it. It's not like she stood in front of them and lectured them for 8 hrs/day. She would get them started on the computer program that taught them and answer questions they had. She would take them on trips to the museum or other places to learn more about the subject.

It looked like a lot of fun, actually.

People look at us funny when we tell them we have all these critters at home. But, it's actually an amazing learning experience. I have two kids who knows all these crazy things about all kinds of snakes because they have pet snakes. They have ball pythons and a hognose but they can tell you what you need to do when your dog gets bit by a cottonmouth. I mean, the pet snakes jumpstart their curiousity about all snakes and all this information on the computer, the zoos, the musuems, and even Disney's Animal Kingdom and Bush Gardens and such just feed all that curiosity and they're like sponges.

My younger son has this crazy love affair with buildings. He learned to count by going up and down elevators. We took him to New York City and he was counting windows of connecting buildings and adding them up. He's in the Montessori and they teach math by counting and grouping beads. So, I just told him, just imagine that these beads are doors to rooms in Burj Khalifa... and off he goes...

Edited May 31, 2012 by anatess

[Guest]

At this point, I'm just curious how others determined whether they were cut-out for it.

I can't answer the question directly. But, I can answer how I determined that I was not cut out for it.

My husband took our first 2 years of marriage to complete his Bachelor's Degree. He would go to school and come home with something that he didn't quite understand from the lecture. He would ask me to help him understand the stuff... so, I would sit down with him and explain stuff, help him work his homework, etc... by mid-terms he dreaded coming to me for anything, and I dreaded looking at his workbooks. I would get so upset when I look at his workbook and he couldn't answer something so simple that I've explained to him. And he'd dread coming to me because I made him feel stupid. We'd end up fighting and it started to hurt our marriage.

Now, we can talk religion or politics or economics, have a lively debate and this not affect us at all. It helped him a lot with his philosophical electives - you know, like in Econ Analysis class where all they did was write papers about what they feel are the advantages and disadvantages of some economic theory. Our discussions make him look at a wider view of things which help him see things he, otherwise, wouldn't have thought of himself.

[beefche]

Bini, remember you will be homeschooling to some degree. I hope you will teach your child how to count, her alphabet, her address and phone, etc. My mom taught me how to read. So, you can get a feel for your style--but remember, that homeschooling as an education has so many resources to help you. It won't be exactly like teaching her how to read.

[intchantress]

I think you also need to be aware that there are MANY different homeschool methods. Some people do "school at home" that requires a curriculum and a lot of organization. I personally unschool my kids. Its is much less "work" and much more watching and facilitating. I answer questions and provide a very stimulating environment and watch as my kids explore and learn and amaze me with how much of their world they absorb. It is a very peaceful and enjoyable way to educate my children.

I reccomend doing tons of reading about homeschool and figure out which method is best for your kids and for you. If you aren't happy with a chosen method, be flexable and try new things until you find something that works

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I'm skeptical of homeschooling but the idea does appeal to me. I have a friend that is a Special Ed teacher and about half of the students she sees are homeschooled that are behind grade level.

As a Special Ed teacher ALL the students she sees are struggling in school whether they are home schooled or public schooled. Some parents with children who have special needs homeschool them for that reason, not vice versa.

I have 5 children, and they have all been homeschooled. My 5th grader is behind grade level. You might assume that is because I did something wrong, but the school psychologist said they can tell from the testing that was done that the reason he is behind is a learning disability, he has slow processing...and that he is NOT behind because of anything I did or didn't do as his teacher, or any "laziness" on his part.

My first two sons were homeschooled their entire school "career"...one is in his sceond year at the community college, the other is starting his first year. They are 17 and 16. My daughter plans to start college at 16 as her brothers have.

My kids are able to go to college through a program called Running Start. It is available to home schooled or public schooled students. I don't know the percentage of public school kids that particpate, but I know a lot of homeschool kids that do it. It's pretty common for them.

You didn't mention socialization...so I'll keep this short. Socialization happens in the home. When people say "what about socialization what they really mean is "won't your kid turn into a nerd?" But there are plenty of "nerds" in public school, aren't there? Look at the kids and families in your ward, I think you will find that whatever level of "social apptitude" the children have or do not have is mirrored by the parents skills.

[Guest]

When people say "what about socialization what they really mean is "won't your kid turn into a nerd?"

No, that's not what they really mean. What they really mean is - doesn't he need social interaction with different types of people with differing personalities and differing ideas so he can be a well-adjusted social being?

Of course, if you don't let your kid out of the house, being a well-adjusted social being will be a challenge. I don't think home schoolers prevent their kids from having friends or joining organizations or going camping with the scouts or playing soccer in a league, etc. etc. etc.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

No, that's not what they really mean. What they really mean is - doesn't he need social interaction with different types of people with differing personalities and differing ideas so he can be a well-adjusted social being?

I don't think we disagree here. Perhaps the term "nerd" had evolved and changed, but when I was in school it meant precisely that...a person who is NOT a well-adjusted social being, who doesn't do will in social interaction with different types of people/personalities/ideas and situations.

[Sharky]

I see a lot of familes in my area that do the home school thing & have 3 very STRONG opinions:

#1 Make sure if you home school that your kids get LOTS of opportuntiy to socialize with other kids their ages .... more then just at church, scouts, etc.

Get them involved in local groups & events & other things where you the parents are not present or a very big impact to ensure the kids have the chance to gain that experience & socializattion skills & the chance to explore & grow their own personality traits & explore & develop the confidence required to make it thru life.

#2 Teach things in "realism".

One neighbor has her kids learning all sorts of things like home canning & cooking from scratch & sewing all their own clothes, raising foods/fiber, spinning & weaving etc. All those things are good & they should be learned but if everything in the Home School Curiculum is somehow tied back to those things at the expense of other "bits of knowledge" ..... much of what they are learning is based on philosephy, the beliefs of ideals, though they know little how those ideals fit into "real life". Her kids, as teenagers, are very socially akward & unfortunately seem to have had their lives mapped out for them from earlier on.

By comparison, the neighbor across the road home schools. Their kids are the most pleasent kids to visit with & they work harder then I do. They know more about animals & plants & gardening then I know or ever will know. They are probly 3 or more grades ahead when it comes to math & have a greater understanding of geometry then anyone else I know. Why? Everything they do on the farm, everything in life, can be tied back to the Home School Curiculm. So rather then concentarting on the Home Ec/Home Making stuff with the curriculm, they are taking the curicclm & applying it to day-to-day life in every way.

#3 MOST IMPORTANT in my opinion .... when you kid gets to be high school age, if they want to go to public school rather then home school, LET THEM! Hopefully you have given them everything thing possible to learn the necessary socialization skills & the ability to survive main-stream school. Teenage years are important to "fitting in" & friends etc, so let them make that decision.

In my area public schools are required to work with home school parents/kids. Things like shop & sports programs are generally courses that kids take thru the school while home schooling the pther stuff. So home school kids do have the opportunity to blend in some in their middle school & early high school years. By high school age they are old enough to understand the decision & to discuss the benefits & purposes & advantages of Home School & of Public School.

So once they reach that age, let them, with your help, explore that option of going to high school rather then home school & then support them in that decision.

Just my observations.

Edited September 21, 2012 by Sharky

[Vort]

You didn't mention socialization...so I'll keep this short. Socialization happens in the home. When people say "what about socialization what they really mean is "won't your kid turn into a nerd?" But there are plenty of "nerds" in public school, aren't there? Look at the kids and families in your ward, I think you will find that whatever level of "social apptitude" the children have or do not have is mirrored by the parents skills.

This is a wonderful point, almost universally misunderstood by those looking at homeschooling from the outside. They somehow think that the emotional and social rigors of attending school from age 5 make for a better, more pleasant, more socially aware and adept human being. The truth, if anything, is the opposite: Public schools are often the perfect way to learn the most aggressive, antisocial, destructive interpersonal behaviors. And those parents who care enough to make the (very significant) sacrifice to homeschool are often the ones who care enough to teach their children proper social skills.

[Guest]

I don't think we disagree here. Perhaps the term "nerd" had evolved and changed, but when I was in school it meant precisely that...a person who is NOT a well-adjusted social being, who doesn't do will in social interaction with different types of people/personalities/ideas and situations.

Okay, here's what is written in my "English as a 3rd Language Book for Daily Use":

Nerd = A person who gains pleasure from amassing large quantities of knowledge about subjects often too detailed or complicated for most other people to be bothered with. They usually weave in and out of the fabrics of society without being detected and only choose to "nerd it up" on situations of their choosing.

Geek = A nerd who either doesn't have sufficient intellectual skills or social skills to avoid being singled out in society as a nerd. They're the ones that give nerds a bad name.

Dork = not enough intellectual skills nor social skills but tries his best to be a nerd ultimately ending up being made fun of for trying.

Okay, so this stems back from the Bill Gates versus Steve Jobs conflict of the early 80's where Steve Jobs is the nerd and Bill Gates is the geek who wishes he was Steve Jobs (okay, so you know which camp I'm on, lol). And, of course, IBM'ers were just plain dorks.

Same with Star Wars as the nerds who exposed Star Trek for the geeks that they are (okay, so you know which camp I'm on in that one too). LOL.

Okay, so there's this movie Revenge of the nerds (rated R, I'm sure) that gives nerds a bad name. Total mis-use of the term nerd, of course, which makes them just plain dorks for doing so.

:D:D