I feel im being abused?

[Vort]

I feel bad that he was called a girl and accused of being a troll.....

The troll part is unfortunate. Being called a girl was an assumption, not unreasonable given his screen name, and certainly isn't insulting. I have been assumed female by many because of my recent avatars for the last couple of years, and I can't say it's been insulting to me.

[pam]

Yep, check the last log-in date: dogemily’s Profile » LDS Social Network

You can't always go by that though. That is php fox and the forums are run by vbulletin. I've seen people logged in and participating in the forums but their last log in on their profile shows a month before.

[Timpman]

I agree with your mom. Quit whining.

[Dove]

The troll part is unfortunate. Being called a girl was an assumption, not unreasonable given his screen name, and certainly isn't insulting. I have been assumed female by many because of my recent avatars for the last couple of years, and I can't say it's been insulting to me.

Hey Vort,

Sorry, I wasn't intending to accuse you of being insulting or rude. Yeah, it was only a mistake to call him a girl. I feel bad because that assumption probably embarrassed him more when he was already expressing quite a bit how embarrassed he felt by what his mom had said to him......feelings of a young person who probably doesn't have the best handle on how to deal with feelings of humiliation and being punished for an act that was younger then his years. Is there a therapist in the house? I wish I had better tools in knowing how to treat others with emotional difficulties. I certainly have my own problems. Yet, sometimes in relating to others I wish I knew how to in a kind and patient way that invited them to feel safe and accepted.

[Martain]

It's been a while since I've been here and I admit that I only got to page 4 and you might not be reading this anymore dogemily but if you are, I hope to be able to say something that might help.

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself... what do you really want? Isn't what you really want, simply to be able to go to drivers ed and get your Xbox and Ipod back? Will anger get them back for you? Will complaining? Will threatening? Will rebellion? Has it done such so far? If they're not helping you accomplish your desires then they are hindering you. If they're hindering you, then perhaps you should let the anger and resentment and frustration go.

Now what would get these privileges back? That's what you want to be asking yourself. What can you do or say that will change things?

First you'll have to ask yourself what caused her to react this way in the first place. Well, she acted this way because she was mortified. You say she's your father's girlfriend right? Well I'm not a professional but I have some possible insights into her behavior.

Being your father's girlfriend, she probably has not yet had children of her own. How would you feel if on the first day of drivers ed you were expected to parallel park a semi? She probably feels that way.

Being a parent is often stressful. Teenagers exponentially complicates the whole thing =).

Normally a mother raises a child from a babe and learns throughout that process how to deal with frustration and embarrassment when a child behaves poorly. Normally you get in a lot of practice driving a car before you get your license and drive it without supervision too.

If suddenly you HAD to parallel park a semi tomorrow without having been taught or learning how... would you make mistakes? Perhaps even colossal mistakes? Would you want the law to arrest you, fine you, for such mistakes? Or would you want people to be patient with you instead? Would you want justice? Or would you want mercy?

If you were suddenly responsible for raising and taking care of two teenagers yet had never had the chance to be taught or learn how to raise children, would you make mistakes? Perhaps even colossal mistakes? Would you want people to be patient with you while you learned what to do and what not to do? Would you want forgiveness?

There is justice and there is mercy. The confiscation of your Xbox and Ipod with the temporary loss of the privilege to take drivers ed is an action of justice. You behaved poorly and there was consequences. What you're now wanting is mercy. Yes you made mistakes and yes you behaved poorly but you want her to forgive you and restore the privileges you lost.

Her calling you the names she did was embarrassing. One could say that you embarrassed her and so she had the right to embarrass you and that such name calling was just. But that isn't true. Just like you made mistakes and behaved poorly, so did she. What I hear you saying is that justice should be applied to her too in that she should be punished for what she's been calling you and for treating you like a child.

But do you see where I'm going with this? If you want mercy... how can you deny it to her? If on one hand you want to be given mercy yet on the other hand demand justice punish another? That's what we call a hypocrite.

You haven't done anything to deserve mercy but you want it all the same. So if you want mercy, then you need to give it too. That's the way it works.

D&C 64

9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

Let go of the anger, of the resentment, of the desire to get even and forgive her for making mistakes. Realize that she's new to this and she's going to make mistakes. Realize it's not easy for her to suddenly be a parent and give her some slack to learn from her mistakes. Forgive her and have mercy.

Tell her that it really hurts your feelings when she calls you names. Tell her that you realize that it must be very hard to suddenly become a parent especially to teenagers and that you know she'll make mistakes. Tell her that you forgive her.

Then be humble, apologize to her for your behavior in the restaurant. Tell her your sorry that you embarrassed her and ask for her forgiveness. Let her know that you realize that you're still learning to be mature and that you're going to make mistakes too but that you hope she won't give up on you. Ask her to please forgive you and then ask her what you can do to have your privileges restored.

If you do this with humbly and sincerely, without any attitude, having given mercy yourself, you're now able to receive mercy as well.

Good luck-

[Suzie]

What can I say...after reading this thread, all I can say is where is Ashton Kutcher? Because I'm afraid you all have been punk'd. Just a feeling.

[annewandering]

What can I say...after reading this thread, all I can say is where is Ashton Kutcher? Because I'm afraid you all have been punk'd. Just a feeling.

would not be surprised.