How do I tell my wife I am leaving the church?

[Anddenex]

I theorize that if someone was to apply the real teachings of the Christ, then less people would be subjected to the midden heap.

I suppose PB, if all people actually applied and lived the real teachings of Christ, there wouldn't be anyone who was inactive, or anyone who would be leaving Christ's true Church either, and there wouldn't be any difference of beliefs regarding the life hereafter.

I am sorry for your loss, yes, that would be very difficult.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Ah, you misunderstand me, which is not surprising, given that we prefer to see what we want to see. I did not say I did not believe in eternal marriage or the essences of our religion. Although, I can't fault you for assuming that given my perspective. I don't fault women for their rabid desire to apply what they know, but I do fault them ignoring their own humanity when doing it.

I suppose I am still rationalizing my choices, but I always thought it odd that the people who tell me what I should be doing something, are doing something else entirely different out of the public eye. Ironically, I am faulted more for my honesty, than the ones who prefer to hide behind cliches. For reference sake, my ex did tell me I was the better person, despite running away many times and chasing something "better". The church is my mothers life and she is by far the most humble woman I know and my father, was a return missionary and a bishop, so I have a valid perspective.

Sure, I am a broken man, inactive, soul searching, lost, a sinner, but I have realized that despite being born and raised in the church, applying the teachings does not necessarily qualify one for an honest heart.

Edited May 17, 2013 by Praetorian_Brow

[NeuroTypical]

Big changes, parting of ways, staying despite critical differences, all can bring heavy burdens to bear.

Swiper, I'm glad your marriage is stronger. Got my fingers crossed for y'all.

PB:

I am a broken man, inactive, soul searching, lost, a sinner,

Quite a mouthful. I'm glad you come here, and hope this forum helps you as you walk these paths.

[Just_A_Guy]

Sure, I am a broken man, inactive, soul searching, lost, a sinner, but I have realized that despite being born and raised in the church, applying the teachings does not necessarily qualify one for an honest heart.

I think developing an honest heart--and turning that heart over to Christ--is the sum total of the Church's teachings and the natural result of following and applying those teachings properly. I would further submit that as one becomes more honest in heart and truly understanding of and devoted to the true and living Christ, one's love for and loyalty to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its teachings will increase.

It's unfortunate indeed that you've been hurt so frequently and so deeply by people who didn't understand that.

[Swiper]

But I do find it interesting, Swiper, that your daughter's wellbeing is your driving force. What in particular bothers you?

My daughter has a birth defect. Her brain did not develop properly during the fetus stage. This defect in her braincauses difficulties in thinking a rational manner and to use logic in her daily life. Her actions are driven by emotions which can become very varied and intense. This is particular true during seizure episodes when she can get stuck in explosive fits of rage where she loses control of her conduct.

I'm concerned about the object lessons about chastity and modesty at Young Women (e.g. "Licked cupcake lessons") and other teachings about the proper role and conduct of a woman in the church. I know several LDS women who suffers from depression which can be traced to what they were taught during their time in Young Women. If these rational and logical women has had severe problems with living up to expectations as a Young Women and then properly handling their failures to do so, how would then my daughter (who cannot think rationally) be able to handle any mistakes when it comes to living up to the LDS standards expected from a young woman?

Last year she spent more than five months at residential behavioral treatment facility after suicidal attempt at the age of nine. I rather minimize any exposure to things that can increase the risk of her doing something stupid again. I feel that the lessons taught at Young Women will increase this risk.

[skippy740]

While I understand that you've made your decision, Church lessons are supposed to supplement the gospel teaching in the home, not be a substitution.

It's your job as her father to teach her the correct doctrine, not the instructors at Church.

I agree with your line of thinking on this topic, just in a different method.