Sealed to my wife But in love with another.... what do i do?

[Pahoranite]

You chose her for a reason, now try to re-figure out why.

[Backroads]

I don't think considering what would have been with another spouse is abnormal. I've done it on occassion, but only as a passing thought. Dwelling on those thoughts instead of sending them on their way is a very bad idea that will lead to dissatisfaction with the good you have.

You have been married a month. Most couples at this point would still be locked away in the bedroom, unable to speak in coherant sentences due to extreme twitterpation that is overshadowing early marriage practical difficulties (because they are always there). And yet you are already bored of this marriage.

If the marriage is that bad, do the both of you a favor and end it.

But here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. If you divorce this wife and marry the old girlfriend and everything isn't sunshine and gumdrops 24/7 either... Wife #1 probably will not take you back.

2. If you do find that absolutely perfect woman who will never give you a problem and will lead to a perfect and flawless marriage... there's no guarantee she will want you.

[applepansy]

I had to add this to the bottom of this thread.

[RMGuy]

I loved Eowyn's response.

Just some perspective. Our first year of marriage was hell. Years two through 14 were up and down, good and bad, but mostly positive. Years 15 and 16 was FREAKING AWESOME! I'll let you know how 17 goes when I get there.

:-)

-RM

[EarlJibbs]

Aren't the seriousness of the Temple Covenants we make made clear prior to making them?

That fact that you say that you are in love with your ex.... does that mean that you are in contact with her and you feel this way? Or are you simply holding on to those feelings?

My opinion, since you asked it is this. I agree with those that have said do not have children if this is really a valid concern and get out now. You have already done your wife a huge disservice by "settling" for her. No one wants to feel like that, and I imagine that if she didnt "settle" for you, you are going to rip her heart out. Figure out your feelings. Just because those feelings of past loves are still there, doesnt mean that you cannot be with or love your now wife. Get over the other girl and put in 100% into your marrage. Anything less will end tragically.

[Vort]

I loved Eowyn's response.

Just some perspective. Our first year of marriage was hell. Years two through 14 were up and down, good and bad, but mostly positive. Years 15 and 16 was FREAKING AWESOME! I'll let you know how 17 goes when I get there.

You mean to say if you keep your covenants and work hard to love each other and be happy together, it might actually work?

Who could have known?

[RMGuy]

You mean to say if you keep your covenants and work hard to love each other and be happy together, it might actually work?

Who could have known?

Crazy huh Vort, and another observation if I may be permitted. The harder I've worked at it, the better it has gotten....which makes me want to work harder at it....which makes it better....

A very interesting phenomenon. I'm not done with the research yet though...I've having too much fun with the experiment to conclude the study and report the ultimate results.

-RM

[MorningStar]

I have recently been sealed to my wife in the temple after dating for about 8 months. She is a great person and it was great dating her. I also dated another before her that i had a great relationship with. I obviously chose my wife but after a month of marriage i cant stop thinking about how much better things would have been if i had married the girl i knew before my wife! Its a wierd feeling to be in love with another girl... it really affects my attitude with our marriage. what am i going to do? If i could go back i think i would change it but im sealed now and i guess im just stuck...

If you leave her, make sure you tell her how great it was dating her and being married to her. I think that would make her feel better.

An old friend of mine was sealed to a guy and two weeks later he said, "You know, I don't really want to be married. I would just like to date you again." Then she discovered him chatting up girls on BYU campus without his wedding ring.

[Guest]

The OP hasn't even been back, which means;

1. We scared him off,

2. He forgot he even posted this

3. He posted this in the heat of an argument and didn't really mean it, and now regrets it, or

4. We've been played.

[Iggy]

The OP hasn't even been back, which means;

4. We've been played.

My vote.

[estradling75]

I'd go with 1... I figure he came looking for acceptance and validation and instead got dumped over the head with a big icy bucket of suck-it-up.

[Vort]

I'd go with 1... I figure he came looking for acceptance and validation and instead got dumped over the head with a big icy bucket of suck-it-up.

Agreed, and it's too bad, but I'm not sure what would have been more appropriate for him. Certainly not validation.

[slamjet]

Kids these days...

[applepansy]

Everyone needs a big icy bucket of suck-it-up poured over their head on occasion.

[applepansy]

The OP hasn't even been back, which means;

1. We scared him off,

2. He forgot he even posted this

3. He posted this in the heat of an argument and didn't really mean it, and now regrets it, or

4. We've been played.

Or maybe...

5. He forgot to validate his account.

[slamjet]

Everyone needs a big icy bucket of suck-it-up poured over their head on occasion.

[Cosmos2016]

You obviously loved your wife enough to want to be sealed together for time and all eternity. Remember why you chose her over everyone else. Then just "buck up, buttercup!" Do the right thing and love your wife. She also chose you so don't break her heart. Love her and treat her like you would want to be treated.