Leaving the Church Because Pianists Aren't Paid

[Wingnut]

I was recently asked to serve in a calling. I was brought up that you don't turn down a calling...so, I agreed to think about it. I did, for a period of days, including a lot of prayer and fasting. Then I wrote what started as a brief note and finished at 5 pages to the members of the bishopric and the requesting auxiliary. I explained how I saw the program, what I thought was necessary support from leaders, and the rest of the ward, and how I felt I would act/react to various challenges that this calling would present as well as my priorities with regards to family, work, church, etc. I closed by letting them know if they felt this was where the Lord needed me I was happy to serve, but they should have this information up front.

Then I didn't hear from them for 3 weeks.

It came to pass, that a member of the bishopric pulled me aside and said that my note had scared some people even though they thought it was spot on and probably needed to be said. And it came to pass that they decided not to extend that calling to RMGuy, but rather to extend the call to serve as the primary pianist. And it came to pass that RMGuy was pleased to say yes, and there was peace throughout the land.

:)

-RM

Mr. Wingnut did a similar thing last year. He was asked to serve in a stake calling, but it presented a direct conflict of interests with some non-church personal commitments that he has. Though he was pretty sure he was going to turn it down, he took a week to consider and pray. During that time, he ended up writing a seven-page treatise on why he would not ever accept that particular calling, or at least, conditions that would have to change in order for him to do so. When the stake presidency counselor met with him again, my husband told him that he felt it wasn't a good calling for him and our family at the time, and that was accepted as an adequate answer. My husband still has his essay in case it ever comes up again, though. :)

[Backroads]

My parents brought me up that I should never ever turn down a calling. I have yet to turn down a calling, but my thoughts are different from my parents and should I truly feel the need, I will turn down a calling. I see nothing wrong with doing so.

[Backroads]

Another thought on saying "No":

While I have always heard it's best to say "no" without giving reasons, I've come to realize just how true it is.

Saying "No" while providing supporting reasons turns those reasons into problems and problems can potentially be solved. If you have absolutely no intention of doing requested thing no matter how ideal the circumstances, don't give a reason for your "no".

[Vort]

c#?! Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

AKA the key of Microsoft.

[Guest]

I have 2 stories....

1.) My 11-year-old son is taking piano lessons and he would sometimes play the reverent music before Primary starts. His friend from Young Men asked him to accompany him for his high school drama competition. He wants to do If I Were a Rich Man from Fiddler on the Roof and he needs accompaniment. My son said yes (he thinks he's got all this talent)... the competition is in 8 days, and the score that he was given was the real deal score... the pianists here who've seen it can attest that it is not some kid piano tune! My son sees the score and says, Okay - I'll play it... I guess he thought it was easy enough! Anyway... he brings it home he tries to play it - and of course, he can't - and so he comes to me and asks me for help... I'm like, let's tell your friend we can't do it. And, my son says, No, he will do it even if it kills him! So we both sat down at the piano, figured out how he can keep his promise, and I taught him how to play chords in under an hour. No, it was more like 30 minutes.

And I kid you not - his friend came over the house right then and there to practice, he sang, my son accompanied with just him playing whatever chord is on top of the words in the score adding his own embellishments... AND IT SOUNDED AMAZING! They went to the competition a few days later and their number was the only one that had real live accompaniment. Everyone else sang to a CD/mp3. And they got lots of applause and kudos and such. They didn't win, but they did great!

So now, my son wants to volunteer for everything.... like Stake Primary Choir. Ugh.

2.) My Catholic brother-in-law is a musical genius. He composes complete scores for all instruments and vocals for an entire Mass (kinda like Mozart's Requiem Mass). He works for the Catholic Church. And that's how he earns his living.

Now, he's the kind of guy where you can put the score for an entire Mass that he's never heard of infront of him right when the Priest is walking down the aisle and he can play it on the piano, conduct it for a choir, or do whatever is needed to it... So, he is always asked to do these emergency musical things. Like, he was in the middle of writing the mass for the Filipino Saint that just got canoninzed a month ago when I begged him to re-arrange a choral piece to make it "Primary friendly" for Thanksgiving sacrament meeting. He obliged and it was one of the best pieces our Primary has sung at Church... but I'm sure he didn't get much sleep to make up the time he lost. I did not know he was in the middle of a big project, otherwise, I wouldn't have asked!

His main problem is... he has perfect pitch. And having to conduct a non-professional choir is painful to him. He said, it literally feels like ice-picks are stuck into his ears everytime somebody sings the wrong note! So everytime the Church asks him in a pinch to run the choir, it's a big sacrifice for him. He doesn't feel comfortable saying No!

And then, there are the never-ending family gatherings where everybody asks him to play the piano to a sing-along. Now, that's a real killer for him. LOL! He tries to oblige but then he has to beg off after a short while because he just can't physically take it anymore.

But man, I wish I had that kind of talent. I would love to sit on the piano all day long and play and play and play. Yes, I realize I'm just saying that because I don't have talent...

Edited December 12, 2012 by anatess

[MarginOfError]

c#?! Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

C#? pfft.

Try B#!

:snicker:

[Guest]

* Apologies to all the JKP fans out there. Not meant to offend.

I think JKP's song this year (As A Child of God) is the boringest song she's ever made. And I like a lot of JKP.

No JKP in the 2013 program, though.

[Guest]

AKA the key of Microsoft.

Make something as complicated as possible. That explains SO much.

[Guest]

What part of

do you not understand?

[MorningStar]

I think JKP's song this year (As A Child of God) is the boringest song she's ever made. And I like a lot of JKP.

No JKP in the 2013 program, though.

Her best songs are Primary songs.

[MorningStar]

What part of

do you not understand?

The nice thing is, you know that almost every note you're playing is a sharp! Except for those double sharps. Those kind of make my brain hurt.

[viannqueen3]

Thankfully I just recently ended my 7 year tenure as the ward organist... which isn't too bad except that they also had me playing in RS for the past year or two. The thought of trying to juggle the organ and three young kids (3rd due this Jan) under the age of 5 was scaring me! I can't tell you how many times I've had to make a diaper run and being panicked about getting back in time to do the rest or closing hymn. I'm so glad I've never gotten pulled into accompanying people though. Not as good in that area.

[Guest]

I'd say her only good songs are her Primary songs, but that wouldn't be nice.

[Vort]

Make something as complicated as possible. That explains SO much.

Uh...yes. That. Exactly. You read my mind.

(And by sheer coincidence, Microsoft offers programmers the .Net Framework, featuring a programming language called C#. But only a hopeless geek would make a joke about that.)

[Guest]

I can handle as many flats as you'll throw at me, but more than 3 sharps in a key signature really gives me trouble. Why is that? Am I the only one?

[Guest]

Uh...yes. That. Exactly. You read my mind.

(And by sheer coincidence, Microsoft offers programmers the .Net Framework, featuring a programming language called C#. But only a hopeless geek would make a joke about that.)

I was trying without success to equate the two, since I'm a musician and hubby is a programmer who hates everything about Microsoft.

[Vort]

The nice thing is, you know that almost every note you're playing is a sharp! Except for those double sharps. Those kind of make my brain hurt.

You realize that if we didn't use the awful, bastardized equal tempering on our pianos, a double sharp would have a unique meaning, not just the next whole step up, right?

[Bini]

I think many, many, many members of the church have a very hard time saying "no". I think it comes with our desire to serve and do good. Perhaps we need a special Sunday School class where we all get small mirrors and just practice saying "nope, sorry..."

-RM

What an EXCELLENT idea!

I have a harder time saying "No" to strangers than I do with people that I know.

[Bini]

When one of my best friends got married, her pianist flaked. She didn't get sick. She just plain forgot and this was after she had told her in a rather demanding tone to leave her $100 on the piano in an envelope. The bride was freaking and one of our friends just happened to have wedding music in her car. Woo hoo!

So did you ever find out what happened to the pianist?

Never did.

[Vort]

I have a harder time saying "No" to strangers than I do with people that I know.

"Oh, I'm jist a girl who cain't say n.......... n.......... nnnnnn......."

One of my favorite Hee Haw memories from growing up...

[MorningStar]

I can handle as many flats as you'll throw at me, but more than 3 sharps in a key signature really gives me trouble. Why is that? Am I the only one?

I'm the same way! I would rather play 6 flats than 3 sharps! Our old director gave us a Sally DeFord song and it was 5 sharps. I was going, "What the heck? Can most ward choir pianists play this?!" I appreciate the free music, but after a while most of our songs were by Sally DeFord. Same with my last ward.

[classylady]

I can handle as many flats as you'll throw at me, but more than 3 sharps in a key signature really gives me trouble. Why is that? Am I the only one?

No you're not the only one. I don't know why I can do flats, and struggle with sharps.

[MorningStar]

Advice to choir directors: If you have a budget at all, use it, or they will assume you don't need it and you won't be able to buy any new music. Then after people walk off with the music you do have already, you will be stuck with Sally DeFord and hymns. I do love you, Sally DeFord, but I also love lots of other composers.

[mtnbikemom]

I'm the same way! I would rather play 6 flats than 3 sharps! Our old director gave us a Sally DeFord song and it was 5 sharps. I was going, "What the heck? Can most ward choir pianists play this?!" I appreciate the free music, but after a while most of our songs were by Sally DeFord. Same with my last ward.

I hear that! Multiple sharps make me break out in a cold sweat and the room starts to spin. Wait, maybe that's because I didn't eat breakfast. Regardless, sharps are evil. To slightly alter a classic Spinal Tap quote: "The key of c# is the most difficult of all keys. It's makes pianists weep, instantly."

On the positive side of Sally Deford, you don't have to look at the music, just default to an arpeggio in the left hand and you're probably dead on. Time saver for everyone.

[RMGuy]

Advice to choir directors: If you have a budget at all, use it, or they will assume you don't need it and you won't be able to buy any new music. Then after people walk off with the music you do have already, you will be stuck with Sally DeFord and hymns. I do love you, Sally DeFord, but I also love lots of other composers.

There's a budget for these things?!?!?!!

-RM