Want To Cut.


Gretchen
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I am a cutter, too. Those feelings are hard to shake, put just remind yourself over and over, minute by minute if necessary, that you will get through those moments. "This too shall pass" and as Paul said to his old ways "I am dead to that." Find something tectile to pick up and hold in your hand like a rock and just feel that rock. Feel its texture, its shape. Look at it. Rerally notice its colors, lines, indentations. Take it with you on a walk and work it around in your hands.

Doing things like that get my mind off of cutting and plants my feet back firmly on the ground.

If you need to chat, pm me anytime. Best of blessings to you!

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As many of you know, I used to cut. Recently I have been wanting to cut. Anyone got any advice as to what to do? :dontknow:

Gretchen,

I have to admit that when I was young I cut too....at first it was just a couple times over about a month...nothing really too bad I just didn't want my parents to find out...that was the scariest thing. But then I started hanging with the wrong crowd and started cutting a lot more....it really started to effect my grades! And then my parents found out I had been cutting.....the school called them about my absences from these classes and that was it....I was grounded for a month and had to account for every minute I was in school. It was hard because all my friends seemed to get away with cutting while I had to endure English Lit. and stupid classes like Government (which I hated)! But then I wised up and realized cutting was just hurting myself...I never cut again!

:combust:

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1-800 DON'T-CUT (800-366-8288)

http://www.coolnurse.com/self-injury.htm

Much love to you, sister. I wish I could take your pain so you wouldn't feel you had to cut yourself. My best friend cuts herself. She has DID (formerly MPD). Lots of pain in her past and she has cut herself terribly. The book DrT recommends is a good one. Please call that number.

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I'm a cutter as well though i promised someone dear to me i wouldn't do it any more. It's hard sometimes. When you feel like now and then(or all the time) you have to be the strong one or the forgiving one. I found cutting let me be weak and i could hide it, so when i needed to let it all out i could vent on myself and the world didn't know. this last little while has been very hard, i can't go long without wanting to do it, but i know i'll let someone down if i do. I'm a weak person over all, but i can't let people down, i can't know they are disappointed in me. So now i suffer in silence and muddle through.

I think i know how you feel Gretchen, i wish you better luck and success than i am having.

Tal

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Sister Tal, please check out that link above. I know that sometimes, no matter what anyone says or does, it doesn't change how you feel.

One of my best friends is a thoracic surgeon and she use to cut. I asked her if she now took that out on her patients. She reassured me that she did not but did admit that she is a better surgeon when she is feeling that way. She is very careful but decisive. I didn't quite know what to say to her except that at least she has a creative outlet of sorts and I hoped she never really had a bad day if I had some pathology in a lung and went to her.

I wondered how this affected her practice but she has been a cutter for years and also a successful surgeon for years. Perhaps expressing your pain in a a more creative way, such as painting, sculpting would be good, something that required you to let those emotions out while creating something of worth and beauty would be good.

For what it is worth, much love and support.

Sug

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I got an awesome book for you to read. My brother has Aspergers as well, he and I were very combative growing up and tended to stay away from each other till I got older and found this book its called "A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines" by Janna Levin

Its about a scientist who has Autism (undefined type due to the fact he lived so long ago and its a topic newly explored) that acomplished some awesome things in his life, through his eyes. Its based on a true story. I recommend it to every one.

-LT04

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I got an awesome book for you to read. My brother has Aspergers as well, he and I were very combative growing up and tended to stay away from each other till I got older and found this book its called "A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines" by Janna Levin

Its about a scientist who has Autism (undefined type due to the fact he lived so long ago and its a topic newly explored) that acomplished some awesome things in his life, through his eyes. Its based on a true story. I recommend it to every one.

-LT04

I am not sure how ro reply properly on this site. This is my first time.

I have Asperger's too! I cut sometimes and am trying to stop. I haven't cut for a while. Please, is your brother accepted at church? Most of my Branch do not accept me and several do not even tolerate me. I have not gone to church for the last three weeks because I do not feel I can cope with the hatred much more and I don't want to cut myself and I don't want to come home crying every Sunday, any more. I love the Gospel with all my heart, but my best friend is away on holiday so I have no support now at all.

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Dear Lizard,

I'm sorry to report that he is more often unaccepted then he is accepted in and out side of the church. All his life has been a struggle with acceptance, to the point as a child I think around 5 years old when the other children started to notice there was a difference between him and them thats when he stooped getting invited to birthday parties and no one would come over to play with him. Due to the extent of his Asperger's there was a huge debate regarding the subject of baptism. He was eventually baptized but must remain "a friend of the church" ( I understand there are different levels of this) and is unable to receive the priesthood.

He always does very well on tests in school if he sits down face to face with the test administrator. If he were to take a true false test and fill in the bubble sheet he would do very poorly. In the 5th grade he was scoring in some areas at a 12th grade level.

After our father left us he withdrew from the physical world. He has spent a lot of time in out of juvy. He wanted to join the army like I did but they wouldn't let him in b/c of the Asperger's. That hit him hard. I would have to say he feels like he's treated as if he were a second class citizen. Also unforturnate for him he like (like any other human being) goes where he does become accepted and know has some very bad friends who are in and out of jail and sell drugs.

I would have to describe him as having 2 personalities. One is smart, very intelligent, very thoughtful, kind, sympathetic and shows great concern for others. The other only comes out when he can't convey the thoughts or feelings he is having through speech, he doesn't seem to have any other mediums to communicate with like art, writing that kind of thing. If he does he expressis it in "Asperger's" so if you can't speak it your out of luck. So if speech doesn't do the job he turns to passive aggressive behavior. (not sure if that comes with the job or thats a "talent" he picked up with his questionable friends.

I'm sorry you are treated the way you are. This question baffles me. Why would G-d give human beings the ability to look down to each other? I guess I can understand if you were to look at China we just can't deal with the number of populace they have, but to look down your nose at someone standing right in front of you just leaves me wondering.

Even if I were to tell you its them not you. I know thats not going to fix the problem, at best it may help you to feel a wee bit better about your self and even then wear off before you left for church. I don't think any one can understand the depths of depression some one with Asperger's feels. I would also have to say I think you must feel very lonely, despite the fact you could be in a room with lots of people.

My advice to you is take a Sunday off if you have to wait till your friend comes back (unless they plan to be gone for 6 months or something)

I used to be a cutter too. I've been cut free for (hmmm..... let me think) Lets see I bought this house on 7 July 2003 and it was before that. I was treated as the lightning rod of hate from the army not church. We had a 1st Sergeant who was determined to get to Sergeant Major fast regardless of how many soldier he got killed or drove to drink or go to rehab. We had 21 suicide attempts in 6 weeks. I'm sure he has front row tickets in hell just for that. I know how you feel with your branch. I told the shrink the Army sent me to its like being in a fire. If your the one sent to treat the wounds shouldn't you take me out of the burning building first? He had a good point he said "We can't put all of our patients into glass jars separate from all the problems they have until they get better b/c as soon as we let them out they would have to come back b/c they wouldn't be conditioned to deal with problems anymore." So keep that in mind it helped me a lot.

I don't know if you are a big reader or not (I guess you would have to be to get this far into my post) but here are some books that I refer to often in regards to having to deal with other people 1 ) "Boundaries" by Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend, and 2 ) "Mans search for meaning" by Dr. Victor Frankel. I'm very dislesic (bare with the spelling please) when I look at a world map and find the US some times I swear it says MexAmeriCanada. (not that bad but you get the idea) I found these books very helpful and easy to read.

I hoped this helped I'll try to do some independent home work on the topic of Asperger's, maybe I can find you a group on the net that look to each other for support, or some tips that will help with day to day life. Good luck and G-d bless,

-LT04

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Thank you xhenli, only thing that is preventing me from being around people is that I am not a people person. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I suffer from Aspergers, I do not know. Thank you for praying for me, it means a lot.

The World needs more Aspies. I'm Aspie too. And I sometimes cut. Going on the computer helps to distract me, as does going to bed and having a nap, or reading a book or mag to stop my jumbled thoughts...

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Dear Lizard,

I'm sorry to report that he is more often unaccepted then he is accepted in and out side of the church. All his life has been a struggle with acceptance, to the point as a child I think around 5 years old when the other children started to notice there was a difference between him and them thats when he stooped getting invited to birthday parties and no one would come over to play with him. Due to the extent of his Asperger's there was a huge debate regarding the subject of baptism. He was eventually baptized but must remain "a friend of the church" ( I understand there are different levels of this) and is unable to receive the priesthood.

He always does very well on tests in school if he sits down face to face with the test administrator. If he were to take a true false test and fill in the bubble sheet he would do very poorly. In the 5th grade he was scoring in some areas at a 12th grade level.

After our father left us he withdrew from the physical world. He has spent a lot of time in out of juvy. He wanted to join the army like I did but they wouldn't let him in b/c of the Asperger's. That hit him hard. I would have to say he feels like he's treated as if he were a second class citizen. Also unforturnate for him he like (like any other human being) goes where he does become accepted and know has some very bad friends who are in and out of jail and sell drugs.

I would have to describe him as having 2 personalities. One is smart, very intelligent, very thoughtful, kind, sympathetic and shows great concern for others. The other only comes out when he can't convey the thoughts or feelings he is having through speech, he doesn't seem to have any other mediums to communicate with like art, writing that kind of thing. If he does he expressis it in "Asperger's" so if you can't speak it your out of luck. So if speech doesn't do the job he turns to passive aggressive behavior. (not sure if that comes with the job or thats a "talent" he picked up with his questionable friends.

I'm sorry you are treated the way you are. This question baffles me. Why would G-d give human beings the ability to look down to each other? I guess I can understand if you were to look at China we just can't deal with the number of populace they have, but to look down your nose at someone standing right in front of you just leaves me wondering.

Even if I were to tell you its them not you. I know thats not going to fix the problem, at best it may help you to feel a wee bit better about your self and even then wear off before you left for church. I don't think any one can understand the depths of depression some one with Asperger's feels. I would also have to say I think you must feel very lonely, despite the fact you could be in a room with lots of people.

My advice to you is take a Sunday off if you have to wait till your friend comes back (unless they plan to be gone for 6 months or something)

I used to be a cutter too. I've been cut free for (hmmm..... let me think) Lets see I bought this house on 7 July 2003 and it was before that. I was treated as the lightning rod of hate from the army not church. We had a 1st Sergeant who was determined to get to Sergeant Major fast regardless of how many soldier he got killed or drove to drink or go to rehab. We had 21 suicide attempts in 6 weeks. I'm sure he has front row tickets in hell just for that. I know how you feel with your branch. I told the shrink the Army sent me to its like being in a fire. If your the one sent to treat the wounds shouldn't you take me out of the burning building first? He had a good point he said "We can't put all of our patients into glass jars separate from all the problems they have until they get better b/c as soon as we let them out they would have to come back b/c they wouldn't be conditioned to deal with problems anymore." So keep that in mind it helped me a lot.

I don't know if you are a big reader or not (I guess you would have to be to get this far into my post) but here are some books that I refer to often in regards to having to deal with other people 1 ) "Boundaries" by Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend, and 2 ) "Mans search for meaning" by Dr. Victor Frankel. I'm very dislesic (bare with the spelling please) when I look at a world map and find the US some times I swear it says MexAmeriCanada. (not that bad but you get the idea) I found these books very helpful and easy to read.

I hoped this helped I'll try to do some independent home work on the topic of Asperger's, maybe I can find you a group on the net that look to each other for support, or some tips that will help with day to day life. Good luck and G-d bless,

-LT04

G'Day

An online group that I find great is Aspie Hangout. Also the Blue Room. Both are Delphi Forum groups.

I had started my own thread, or topic (or whatever it's called) called LDS Aspie Christians (think that site was Christian Aspies) but after a while I gave up, because most people who responded thought LDS meant Learning Disabled...

My friend will be away for another two months. :(

But when all is said and done, (more is said than done) oops; that just came to mind, coz I've seen it somewhere. No, I meant, when all is said and done (more is said than done) the Gospel is true! I sometimes feel so very sorry for the members who can't or won't give me a chance. But mostly, I just feel sorry for me and my heart hurts but my spirit hurts more. They are my brothers and sisters and I love EACH and EVERY one of them---even the ones I don't like!--- but I tolerate them and they don't tolerate me. :dontknow:

I am thankful that you understand your brother the way you do. He needs support and understanding. Not lectures. Believe me, he gives himself enough of those. But he will go where he is accepted, as would most of us if we were given that chance and were honest with ourselves.

I am "honest to a fault" the District President said. But that does NOT make sense to me!!! People should not ask something if they do not want the honest answer and I will not betray my Saviour, by being dishonest to please mankind and make myself popular. :excl:

So, a voice in the wilderness I continue to stand and howl at the moon (I like wolves). :P

Someone once said (and I use it all the time) The truth can be supported by a minority of one.

Yes, I read a lot; but only if it interests me.

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Lizard,

Well I'm sorry to hear your friend will be gone for so long. However, we will always be here to give you a digital hug. :bearhug:

-LT04

Thanks. I love that cute emoticon!!! Boy do I have a lot to learn about navigating this site and discovering emoticons of a different nature... :wow:

:angel: Ooh, I found me! (ducking from lightning). :D

I am looking forward to getting to know people through this site and the chat room here. I've been in it once already. It's so good to know that we share a common bond.

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