How do you make sense of all this?

[Yered]

Recently a the leadership of a ward made a mistake that affected the way my life now functions. The mistake was caught and was not done on purpose and they ward tried to do what they could and eventually had to get the the stake leadership involved as they attempted to remedy the situation but the damage was already done.

I was born Mormon, grew up Mormon. Thought I knew what to expect from church leadership and have had a rude awakening that things are not the same in the church as you are taught. I have heard just as everyone else that the message the church gives, the religion is true and that the members can make mistakes. It isn't helping thou.

The changes that have happened in my life because of a mistake that happened over a few days is eroding at me badly. I see corruption in a lot of places in the church now and yes I know it is because I am looking for it now that I have seen what can go wrong.

Too me it seems like the days have returned when Joseph Smith was seeking answers originally when the many religions that existed before the first vision where causing conflict in himself.

I am so lost now on this whole matter. Some of you may say prayer and I have tried that and it doesn't seem to be working, may be because I am in a dark place and am not listening or don't trust even God at the moment after what happened.

What am I supposed to do?

[Wingnut]

Call me cynical, but it sounds a little like you're only seeing what you want to see. If you don't trust God, what do you expect to learn from us here?

[NeuroTypical]

There's not enough info here to go on. What was the mistake, and what harm are you experiencing?

I see corruption in a lot of places in the church now and yes I know it is because I am looking for it now that I have seen what can go wrong.

Well, if you know of corruption, you should report it. Is someone embezzling tithing funds? Is someone abusing their office? The church takes these matters most seriously.

[estradling75]

We all go through dark points in our lives. It is part of our purpose here on earth. It is a test to see if we will choose to hold to what we know to be true... Or if we will doubt.

Your experience has given you cause to doubt... You have a choice to let the doubts take root and bloom or you can pray with a variation of "Lord I believe... Help my unbelief." to root it out

I know it seems more complicated and much harder to do in the dark spot that you are in now... and you probably think that no one else gets it, but we have all had to do our own version of that (or will at some point). From experience we can tell you that that is the path. The choice is yours. Good luck

[Yered]

Call me cynical, but it sounds a little like you're only seeing what you want to see. If you don't trust God, what do you expect to learn from us here?

I know I may only be seeing what I want to see. I came here for help on getting thru that not to be flamed for it.

[Yered]

There's not enough info here to go on. What was the mistake, and what harm are you experiencing?

Well, if you know of corruption, you should report it. Is someone embezzling tithing funds? Is someone abusing their office? The church takes these matters most seriously.

The leadership all the way up to the Stake level are aware of the situation and are dealing with the situation. The details are not necessary into what happened. It is enough for you to know that something wrong was done and that those in the proper positions are aware of what happened.

My life was affected and changed in a big way and I am just looking for ways to get past it while still dealing with the repercussions of what was done. The Ward and Stake involved are helping correct what was done but there is more to it then the physical(worldly) implications. It has affected me emotionally, my beliefs, what I have taught. I now have trust issues with church leadership and so I am turning to members for assistance in overcoming this.

[applepansy]

Pick any organization in the world. If you look for corruption you'll find it. Human beings are flawed.

If i were in your shoes I would hold on to what I know to be true. Such as: Heavenly Father lives and loves us, Jesus is the Christ and He died for my sins, Joseph Smith is the prophet of the last dispensation, the Book of Mormon is the word of God, It is scripture.

Then I would fast and pray. If you truly need a confirmation of the basics of our faith you'll get one.

If you dwell on the bad things or people who make mistakes then all that will happen is you will end up not believing at all. If that's where you want to go that's up to you. Satan uses our doubts and if we let those doubts grow eventually he wins.

Every member has trials in life that test their faith. This is probably one of those times for you.

btw, I don't thing Wingnut is flaming you. She has a valid question "What do you expect to learn from us here?" If you've already made up your mind and are just venting then nothing anyone says will help you or the people responding. If you answer the question and other questions you might find helpful answers.

[Backroads]

Yes, you probably don't want to hear "pray" and I can get why.

So I will phrase it differently: go back to the basics, whatever they may be for you. Don't worry about the stake, don't worry about the Church in general. Put them on the back burner. Read your scriptures, meditate, think about God and goodness.

[skippy740]

I know I may only be seeing what I want to see. I came here for help on getting thru that not to be flamed for it.

You get what you put in. We have no details, no story. We have no context.

The charge of conspiracy or corruption is serious, and I don't want it to describe ANY church leaders on ANY level... without a reason.

Without more details, we CANNOT help. Can you share something we can go on so we can give you more 'concrete' help?

[skippy740]

The leadership all the way up to the Stake level are aware of the situation and are dealing with the situation. The details are not necessary into what happened. It is enough for you to know that something wrong was done and that those in the proper positions are aware of what happened.

My life was affected and changed in a big way and I am just looking for ways to get past it while still dealing with the repercussions of what was done. The Ward and Stake involved are helping correct what was done but there is more to it then the physical(worldly) implications. It has affected me emotionally, my beliefs, what I have taught. I now have trust issues with church leadership and so I am turning to members for assistance in overcoming this.

Without more details, I cannot think of any situation where Church leadership can affect your life in a fundamental way.

The only thing I can think of, was if you were on Church Assistance, and leadership decided to no longer fulfill your food order request.

Unless you were employed by someone who also happened to be in Church leadership, I don't see how or why your life would be fundamentally affected.

[Guest]

Stop turning to members for help in feeling better about it, and turn to the Lord.

[NeuroTypical]

I now have trust issues with church leadership and so I am turning to members for assistance in overcoming this.

I'm not sure what you mean by "trust issues". It almost sounds like you're talking about an inappropriate block to being able to trust? As in, you were burned, but you should still be able to trust, but you're not able to because you're having 'trust issues'?

I'm trying to understand what's going on, before responding to it.

[Bini]

I understand you not wanting to disclose details but it makes it difficult to give any advice.

I'm having my own struggles with church and the gospel but I'm not going to let those insecurities rob me of what I know to be true. Some days I even question what I know but I'm seeing that we all question from time to time. It's just important not to let major pitfalls dictate our outlook on life and any faith we have in the Lord. I'm so grateful for the reminder that none of us are perfect - I'm not perfect - and that it's okay to go through the motions of praying, fasting, etc. even if I don't 'feel it' or believe it at that moment. The humility it takes to just do it, despite whatever emotional hang-ups we're having, is enough to crack the door open and let Christ in. That's what I'm trying to do.

[Dravin]

Without details the only thing that can be said is the standard Sunday School answers (which are perfectly valid and correct answers but not particularly targeted or specific). If you aren't listening or trusting God there really isn't anything you can do while you are in that state, you priority would be to start listening and trusting God. Since you are effectively faithless at this moment I suggest applying Alma 32 to your life.

[MarginOfError]

Recently a the leadership of a ward made a mistake that affected the way my life now functions. The mistake was caught and was not done on purpose and they ward tried to do what they could and eventually had to get the the stake leadership involved as they attempted to remedy the situation but the damage was already done.

I was born Mormon, grew up Mormon. Thought I knew what to expect from church leadership and have had a rude awakening that things are not the same in the church as you are taught. I have heard just as everyone else that the message the church gives, the religion is true and that the members can make mistakes. It isn't helping thou.

The changes that have happened in my life because of a mistake that happened over a few days is eroding at me badly. I see corruption in a lot of places in the church now and yes I know it is because I am looking for it now that I have seen what can go wrong.

Too me it seems like the days have returned when Joseph Smith was seeking answers originally when the many religions that existed before the first vision where causing conflict in himself.

I am so lost now on this whole matter. Some of you may say prayer and I have tried that and it doesn't seem to be working, may be because I am in a dark place and am not listening or don't trust even God at the moment after what happened.

What am I supposed to do?

I doubt you'll find many people on this forum that are more cynical toward church administration and leadership than I am. I can easily see how one might be disenchanted with the "inspired guidance" of local leaders if they saw a lot of the day-to-day operations.

That isn't a problem with the Gospel, that's a problem with the culture.

What's more concerning to me, however, is that you say a mistake was made, and as soon as the mistake was discovered, multiple levels of people joined in to try to fix the mistake? What exactly is wrong here? I can only imagine it was a pretty serious mistake if the stake hopped in to help fix it, but still, they're trying to fix it.

You have my sympathies for the pain and frustration these events have clearly pushed into your life. And I think you should consider the possibility that you've amplified these frustrations by having unrealistic expectations of a volunteer organization.

[HiJolly]

I know I may only be seeing what I want to see. I came here for help on getting thru that not to be flamed for it.

Wingnut flaming? Get real. I suspect this is an indicator of your personality, and it's not good. Too sensitive. Sheesh.

[Misshalfway]

I don't know what happened to you. Whatever it was, it sounds like it's really shaken your testimony. I had something happen to me once. A stake president said some hurtful things at a time when I was really in need of help. I was young and idealistic at the time. It didn't occur to me that Stake presidents would ever behave in such a way. As I look back on it, the stake president really was doing the best he could at the time. I've wondered if he ever regretted that visit with me. I remember one time seeing him years later. He starred at me for a really long time. It was almost as if he was trying to get the courage to apologize to me.

It sounds like you recognize the humanness in this situation and that you even had the person try to correct the mistake! I'm sorry that effort didn't stop the fall out that seems to still be effecting you. That makes it harder to get over.

I only have one remedy for these situations. And that is forgiveness. It's natural to feel a sense of disillusionment after an experience like this. But don't harbor the bitterness. Don't fan the flames of your outrage. Stuff like this happens. We all get hurt and we all hurt each other. What else can we do but forgive? I guess I don't know anything that heals better.

[Sharky]

For me, I guess the specifics of what took place really don't matter, my response would be the same either way:

Please remember, that leaders within the church ... all members for that matter ... are human.

We all make mistakes & many of those mistakes have consequences or effect our lives or the lives of others. There is no way to get around that, it is part of life, part of being human, part of why we are here on earth.

Strive to learn to be forgiving or at least understanding. Strive to see the individuals who you feel wronged you as the human beings that they are.

Learning to forgive is not easy & does not happen readily. It may take a very long time for you to do so.

Holding onto animosity or anger or hatred will only eat at you & will significantly change & alter your life even more, & not for the better.