Handling the mentally diseased

[Vort]

How best do we handle the mentally diseased? I'm not talking about those who are depressed. I'm talking about those who rant and rave. Mockery is cruel and unproductive, but trying to engage them in actual conversation is pointless.

 

What do you do when a street person, obviously mentally diseased, tries to engage you? I had this happen some months ago. The guy was clearly talking to (or toward) me, though I was not immediately beside him, and what he said seemed sad and vaguely threatening. So I chose to engage with him and try to be friendly, and we spent the next fifteen minutes on a bus talking (actually, he was doing the talking). He seemed to get somewhat more sane as he talked to me, and we parted with friendly words.

 

On the other hand, I occasionally come across an online raver. I once was on a private list with a guy who was clearly paranoid and, frankly, bonkers. I am unhappy to say that I did not treat him well; instead, I took him at his word, tried to engage him in conversation, and picked apart what he said to demonstrate its flaws. Believe it or not, I wasn't being intentionally cruel; I simply could not comprehend that people might be in such bad mental health. I did have some fellow list members who treated him with more compassion. I learned from them.

 

We occasionally get such folks here, and I'm still somewhat at a loss how to respond. By the time I realize they're ravers, I have usually already tried to engage them on some higher level of conversation. And they usually end up getting banned anyway. On the one hand, I feel kind of bad dismissing them out of hand because they're messed up. On the other hand, it's not like you can have actual, rational conversations with such people.

 

Few of us are seriously physically diseased, but I venture to guess that none of us is perfectly healthy in body. Similarly, I think most of us are not mentally diseased to the point of raving, but neither is any of us in perfect mental health. I certainly hope that others are kind to me in my failings, so I want to be that way with others. This might be a good way for me to view others on this very list when I get impatient with what they write: Maybe their failure to engage or even apparently understand what I and others are saying is a symptom of a mental unwellness, and they should be treated with kindness and respect. This opens up the possibility of being wrongly condescending, of course. But the alternative is to expect something that some people are perhaps simply incapable of giving. My reflexive reaction is to consider such unresponsiveness or denial as a sign of dishonest character. I might do well to reconsider that as a sign of mental struggle against, I don't know, bitterness or hatred or fear or despair or doubt.

 

Just some bedtime musings.

[Josiah]

There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.” -President Thomas S. Monson

 

Easier said than done, but so true.

Edited August 13, 2015 by Josiah

[classylady]

I never quite know what to say to those who clearly have mental problems.  I'm sorry to say that I try to avoid them.  Whenever I do happen to engage in a conversation I try to keep it short and I avoid anything contentious.

 

My daughter-in-law's father is on the fringes of society.  He is unable to keep a job.  He once was a member of the church, and still believes, but he has such extreme views that he is almost laughable.  He once called his daughter evil for dating.  (And, that's not the only time he has called her such things).  He will occasionally be sane, but more often than not he's way out there.  He did bring his ex-wife into the church, and by that deed his daughter was born into a home where the gospel was available.  My dil is a wonderful, stalwart member of the church.  For that, I am grateful to this man.

Edited August 13, 2015 by classylady

[Crypto]

Sometimes it may be disease. Or maybe more accurately sometimes dis-ease.

Every person has their own life experiences and knowledge to draw upon, and often the case this causes people no matter how rightly or wrongly build views that are different.

 

To compound the issue people in general don't actually have open minds (rightly and wrongly), and their hearts are hardened to things that may differ from the view they have built.

Compassion might be a good start, it tends to be soothing to those in dis ease.

[NeuroTypical]

It helps to know a little about the breadth and depth of mental issues.  Bipolar isn't aphasia isn't schizophrenia isn't manic depression isn't Borderline Personality isn't PTSD.  What works for one, doesn't work for another.  Click your way through these 16 photos for a high-level view. 

 

Fun story: I was driving past my ward building, and saw an old man lying on the grass waving a weak hand at me.  I pulled over to help, and had a really interesting 45 minute experience.  Dood jumped up to tell me he had been 'stricken by the lord' and would have lay there until someone came he could pass his message to.  The rest of the time was him passing his message on.  It was cold, so I let him into the church so we could warm up and he could talk and write.  His message was something along the lines of this:

 

"My wife is the reincarnation of Mary and per prophecy has committed adultery three times once with Elvis once with one of the horseman from revelation and once with a yet-to-be-named prophet.  The things spoken of by [insert random OT and NT prophet names here] are coming to pass and I have sold all my worldly possessions in order to take her to Las Vegas where she will usher in the next [it went on like this for two pages.]"

 

His sense of urgency and overwhelming energy was impressive.  He needed to get his story out, and he needed me to interact with him to make sure I was receiving his message.  He also needed the news media and church HQ to be contacted so they could do their part.  I called the bishop.  I could hear his eyes roll over the phone.  Bishop told me dood is harmless, and does this whenever he forgets to take his medication.  He promised to call dood's wife, and would meet her at the church to go take him back home.

 

Anyway, I'm not a doctor, but I think dood was a paranoid schizophrenic.  Just keeping him from wandering into traffic looking for someone to talk to was all he needed. He's best off with his wife and out of jail.  

 

There are plenty of other types of crazy.  There are also good crazy people and evil crazy people, and their illness isn't as important as their goodness/evilness.   There's harmless crazy and dangerous crazy.

 

The more you know, the better you are at taking clues about a person from their body language and mannerisms, the more help you can be.  Conversely, the less you know, and the less able to read people you are, the less help you can be.

Edited August 13, 2015 by NeuroTypical

[Palerider]

I don't have all the answers .... I know that this topic is spoken of frequently in our home. Our son is a councilor at a sexual offenders unit and and we talk about mental health often. I do know he has educated me and continues to do so on this topic.