NeedleinA Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Attempted to unsuccessfully make a poll, so here is the next best thing. Looking for your insight on the following please: Q #1: As an adult male OR do the adult males you know have real close friends outside of their immediate family? 1. No, immediate family is it.2. Yes, but only about one close friend outside of the immediate family.3. Yes, several close friends. Q #2: IF you or the male you know does NOT have close friends outside of the immediate family, how do you/they feel about it? 1. Perfectly content with it, only need(s) the immediate family.2. Wonders if this common place for adult men.3. Wishes you/he had a close friend outside of the immediate family. I personally normally answer 1 & 1 to both questions but often wonder if this is common place too among other adult men. If so why do you think it is so?? I saw a quote from Vort recently on another thread which triggered my thoughts. For years I have thought that I was some kind of male anomaly, it appears I am not alone. His comment: "As an adult man, I have no truly close friends outside my wife and immediate family. One of my close friends is a man I Skype with who lives in Italy and whom I have never met before in the flesh. I consider myself "close" friends with a few men who are or have been members of my ward; but "close" in in quotes because they are not close the way my close friends were when I was twelve. I do occasionally talk about personal and even sensitive things with them, because I trust them. But we are not "best buddies" like I had in my childhood." Thank you in advance for your thoughts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 M6 husband is 1 and 1. He has always been this way. He was a loner type in high school.He has great people skills; he just doesn't feel a need to cultivate friendships outside of immediate family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 I have some close friends outside of my family. I have two other guys that I go on trips to Nauvoo with. They are my Nauvoo Junkie buddies. I also have another church member that I go to Notre Dame football games with. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JojoBag Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 I have one good friend and many acquaintances. Palerider and NeedleinA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Yes. I have many friends, but two that I'm particularly close to. My friends are among the greatest blessings in my life. I'm so, so lucky to have them. One is like my brother, though we're quite different. We both refer to each other as the brother we never wanted. I do have a little brother whom I love dearly, and he is also among my closest friends, but the guy I'm thinking of is my age. My brother is seven years younger than I am. Another is a female (sorry everyone) and she equal to my two beloved sisters. LadyGator is 100% cool with it, because LadyGator and I are so open with each other. We text several times a week, while my male friend and I talk easily every day. Usually it's politics, sports, music, frat boy razzing, etc. For me it's the opposite of childhood. I thought I had friends, but looking back, but I didn't. My friendships as an adult are far more enriching, deep and wonderful than my childhood friendships ever were. Reason number 12 I don't get nostalgic for childhood at all. I would never go back. In fact, I really wish I knew at 16 that life would be so good at 30+. Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) 3N/AMost adult male I'm close to have close friends outside of immediate family. Are cousins outside of immediate family? My brothers are close to cousins a few times removed. Edited January 2, 2016 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) 3N/AMost adult male I'm close to have close friends outside of immediate family. Are cousins outside of immediate family? My brothers are close to cousins a few times removed.I have a bunch of cousins (grew up Irish Catholic) but we never talk. Different people, different lives. If we weren't related, we wouldn't know each other. We only see each other funerals. Even then it's just "Hello." and that's it. I wish people treated friendship differently. My friends (oddly) like to hang out with me not because they are obligated, but because they actually like my company. Often times with family (no, not always, yes there are exceptions) it's based on obligation. Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 I have a bunch of cousins (grew up Irish Catholic) but we never talk. Different people, different lives. If we weren't related, we wouldn't know each other. I wish people treated friendship differently. My friends (oddly) like to hang out with me not because they are obligated, but because they actually like my company. Often times with family (no, not always, yes there are exceptions) it's based on obligation.Not the case in my family. We have family members we're not close to and we have family members we are close to. Those we're not close to are still in the tree and so when there's a family event or if they need anything we pitch in out of obligation. Those we're close to we hang out with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Not the case in my family. We have family members we're not close to and we have family members we are close to. Those we're not close to are still in the tree and so when there's a family event or if they need anything we pitch in out of obligation. Those we're close to we hang out with. Nothing wrong with it all. But there is nothing wrong me not being close either.I know you didn't say there was, Anatess :). Just saying. I DO get a little defensive because it's assumed that you have to be close with all your family or you are deficient in some way. On my Moms side (the non Irish Catholic side), I'm super close to an aunt and my memere. So it's not like I'm against being close with your family or anything. Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Just saying. I DO get a little defensive because it's assumed that you have to be close with all your family or you are deficient in some way. Isn't it great how other people get to determine all our deficiencies? It makes it so much easier to expand our internally-constructed list, you know, in case populating that list correctly and completely is one of our deficiencies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Isn't it great how other people get to determine all our deficiencies? It makes it so much easier to expand our internally-constructed list, you know, in case populating that list correctly and completely is one of our deficiencies... Amen to that Zil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Ok, I'll vouch for zil as wife #4... Or was it 12? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Ok, I'll vouch for zil as wife #4... Or was it 12? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Ok, I'll vouch for zil as wife #4... Or was it 12?She's been downgraded from wife to "potential wife." We've had some issues with her being an FSU fan...And requirement #1? This gentlemen prefers blondes. (for the record everyone, it's a total joke. I don't know what hair color Zil has!) Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 She's been downgraded from wife to "potential wife." We've had some issues with her being an FSU fan... Do you know why all the best football players (in Oklahoma anyway) go to OU instead of OSU? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Do you know why all the best football players (in Oklahoma anyway) go to OU instead of OSU? Yes, because they aren't good enough to be Gators. After all, we gotta send our rejects somewhere! Zing! Zing! (I really shouldn't say anything, after all, we stunk up the joint yesterday) Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Yes, because they aren't good enough to be Gators. After all, we gotta send our rejects somewhere! Cuz it's easier to spell (OU than OSU)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Do you know why all the best football players (in Oklahoma anyway) go to OU instead of OSU? Joke from the distant past that I heard in high school: Q: What does the "N" stand for on the helmets of Nebraska football players? A: Nollij. Backroads and askandanswer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Joke from the distant past that I heard in high school: Q: What does the "N" stand for on the helmets of Nebraska football players? A: Nollij. What does an FSU player do after winning the national championship? Turns off the Playstation 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted January 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Football.. a favorite thread hijacker. This why I stay away from sports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Football.. a favorite thread hijacker. This why I stay away from sports. Back on topic: This is the kind of banter I have with all my friends. Joke telling, playfully teasing each other. My close friends and I do that along with much deeper conversations as well. Edited January 2, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Football.. a favorite thread hijacker. This why I stay away from sports. Yea....we sports fanatics are like that ...... Lol !!!! The best kind of game to watch in sports are the games where the teams are rivals ....too many to mention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 I've already had my say on this topic. Let me just add that I do know men that I consider to be "close friends"; it's just that that term doesn't mean exactly what it used to mean. And I am convinced that there is a lot more to intimate friendship than most American men of my acquaintance seem to understand. But there is a downside. On a recent flight, I watched an Italian "comedy" featuring a half-dozen or so close friends discussing the naming of a child. The father was joking with his friends that he would name the boy "Benito" (as in Mussolini), and the friends were absolutely shocked and had lots of nasty things to say. By the time the father admitted he was only joking, things were spiraling downward. Frankly, this is exactly the sort of scenario I envision when having people know you intimately. Along with such intimacy comes, or should come, the caveat that you never, ever use the information to hurt the other person. Kind of like with marriage, you know. In the end, I suppose it's a matter of trust and trustworthiness. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted January 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 I personally wonder why it is that I am content not to have close friends?a. growing up in the military moving all the time, friends come and go so frequently, just stopped trying?b. I'm lazy?c. I don't need that outside bond?d. Time is too valuable with my family?e. I already have 5 close friends (4 kids & wife), just don't need to juggle a 6th? Who knows. Anyways, I'm teaching HP tomorrow and this is the topic I feel prompted to discuss, so thank you all for your insights thus far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Investigator Posted January 2, 2016 Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Both me and my Husband don't get on with our families too well, we do visit them but we don't really have anything in common with them and a lot of them smoke and drink and stuff which neither of us want around the kids. My Husband has a lot of friends he sees maybe once a month or two months. His best friend he has had since School and he is a Muslim convert. His best friend at work is a married lady but we normally do stuff with both of them. I like having close friends I have 3 close lady friends that I do stuff with normally on a 1 to 1 basis and a couple of male friends, I am into a lot of science fiction and philosophy, listen to rock music and have quite a dark sense of humour so I find I have more in common with guys as a rule. The lady friends I have are like me and it took me a while to find them. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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