How do you decipher your own feelings as opposed to an answer?

[S]

I have never been the one to talk about marriage or kids because it's never been a "major want for me",(even being married in the Temple wasn't even a thought in my mind, I know that's bad) I use to think something was wrong with my priorities because that's all my friends could ever talk about! and still continue to talk about I've never been an open person I never talk about my feelings. However I've recently been talking to a RM who I can see all that with I've been praying and pondering over it and everything points to that person. That person is constantly on my mind day and night but am I confusing my own feelings to an answer???

[Guest]

Time and experience.  You can't expect to know or learn at the time of momentous decisions.  You have to learn it before, then apply it later.  Consider this talk.

Try the Lord.  Practice and learn.  As we seek out the Lord's counsel in smaller things where we study it out in our minds and ask God if it be right, pay attention.  Do what you think you're supposed to be doing.  As you go, you'll notice the subtle promptings.  This takes much practice to get right.  At first, it will seem very much like your own thoughts.  But with practice, study, prayer, and time you'll slowly begin to discern what the differences are.

As you gain confidence in listening to the Spirit in smaller things, you will gain confidence in listening to the Spirit in greater things.  The basket will appear bigger each time.  Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.

There is no way to verbalize it and describe it to you any more than there is a way to verbalize the difference between the flavor of salt and sugar to someone with no taste buds. 

 

Edited March 30, 2017 by Guest

[CV75]

3 hours ago, S said:

I have never been the one to talk about marriage or kids because it's never been a "major want for me",(even being married in the Temple wasn't even a thought in my mind, I know that's bad) I use to think something was wrong with my priorities because that's all my friends could ever talk about! and still continue to talk about I've never been an open person I never talk about my feelings. However I've recently been talking to a RM who I can see all that with I've been praying and pondering over it and everything points to that person. That person is constantly on my mind day and night but am I confusing my own feelings to an answer???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_EzSp84wbA

Elder Bednar answers this question.

[Fether]

God expects us to make decisions for ourselves. The Holy Ghost will not direct us in all things (D+C 58:26-29). We are all very capable of making right decisions. Choosing someone to marry is a choice if our own and is largly left to us. The only time the Holy Ghost will jump in and interfere with this type of decisions will be when you are about to make big mistake in choosing your spouse or for cofirnation. If you see nothing wrong with marrying the person and you want to marry the person. Do it

"When [Bruce R. McConkie] set out to choose a companion for eternity, he did not go to the Lord and ask whom he ought to marry. “I went out and found the girl I wanted,” he said. “She suited me; … it just seemed … as though this ought to be. … [Then] all I did was pray to the Lord and ask for some guidance and direction in connection with the decision that I’d reached.”" - Dallin H. Oaks "revelation" https://www.lds.org/new-era/1982/09/revelation?lang=eng

 

 

 

 

When when it comes to getting married, the decision is yours

 

[person0]

9 hours ago, S said:

I have never been the one to talk about marriage or kids because it's never been a "major want for me",(even being married in the Temple wasn't even a thought in my mind, I know that's bad) I use to think something was wrong with my priorities because that's all my friends could ever talk about! and still continue to talk about I've never been an open person I never talk about my feelings. However I've recently been talking to a RM who I can see all that with I've been praying and pondering over it and everything points to that person. That person is constantly on my mind day and night but am I confusing my own feelings to an answer???

First off in regards to the post title question "How do you decipher your own feelings as opposed to an answer?".  It is often unnecessary to do so.  Those who have the Gift of the Holy Ghost can stand confident in knowing that so long as they are living in accordance with the principles of the gospel and the commandments of the Lord, they will be impressed upon when a decision or action is wrong or bad.  Most decisions can be made based on the 'yellow light' principle: Proceed with caution.

Now, in regard to the specifics of the OP:  "I've been praying and pondering over it and everything points to that person." I would like to explain my personal experience in hopes to shed some light on the process of personal revelation where another individual's agency is involved.

I returned from my mission and already had a 'best friend' who I expected to date, along with dating others and enjoy life before getting married.  I returned home close to Christmas day and was preparing a gift for my 'friend' when I felt an impression that I interpreted to mean I should seek to marry her.

I pondered throughout the day on the impression and at night in my prayers I asked along the lines of the following questions in a logical order, I carefully crafted the questions so that God could answer me with 100% certainty either yes or no by the power of the Holy Ghost, but without affecting her agency:

1)  Is [name of person] someone with whom I would be compatible and could have joy?

2)  Is [name of person] a person thou wouldst approve for me to marry?

3)  Does't thou approve that I should ask [name of person] to marry me?

4)  If [name of person] is willing to marry me, is it thy will that I should marry her?

(BTW: The answer was yes to all my questions and I have now been happily married for a good number of years)

You could also craft other questions along these lines, however, as you can see, by preparing specific questions for the Lord you can get specific answers and know the appropriate course of action without affecting the other persons agency and without uncertainty.  If you ask these questions and feel you do not receive any answer at all then return to the concept of the 'yellow light' rule presented earlier and definitely proceed, until you receive an impression to do otherwise.

Others may have a different process, but I have come to this process after much study, and pondering and have a personal testimony of this process.  Best wishes to you 

Edited March 30, 2017 by person0

[Guest]

When in doubt, you can always pray and say, "Heavenly Father, I have thought this over and I am interpreting my feelings as the Spirit telling me to marry this person.  I am moving forward.  If this is in any way wrong, then please stop me!"  (This is not recommended until you are pretty sure you want to marry someone but want that final confirmation).

My experience has been that the Spirit sometimes communicates through distinct feelings.  I remember studying the doctrine of predestination, a doctrine that some Protestants believe where you are destined to either go to heaven or not go to heaven, and it is a choice made by God and is outside your control - your agency has nothing to do with where you end up.  I had a distinct feeling that this idea did not feel right, that something was wrong.  I believe that the Spirit was testifying to me through a distinct feeling that this Protestant doctrine was incorrect.

More often, though, I think the Spirit is more subtle than even direct feelings.  I believe that, if you are full of the Spirit, your thoughts will be influenced by the Spirit to the point that you are acting under the influence of the Spirit without realizing it.  For example, have you ever noticed that your life somehow seems naturally guided towards certain outcomes - towards a certain job, a certain spouse, etc?  Is it possible that you are full of the Spirit, and the Spirit is guiding your very thoughts, and is subtly guiding you towards these outcomes, even without you realizing it?  To you, it just feels natural, but perhaps the Spirit is guiding you behind the scenes?

This is why, if you are living righteously and are worthy of the Spirit, and you find yourself naturally in a relationship with a righteous woman and it would be the most natural thing in the world to get married, chances are you have been subtly led to this point by the Spirit, and unless you get a distinct feeling to run for the hills, you are perhaps safe to proceed (confirming this decision through prayer and the temple, of course).

Edited March 30, 2017 by DoctorLemon

[Anddenex]

IMHO, one of the best talks regarding your question: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence?lang=eng

This was given by Elder Holland. 

[Sunday21]

 

[Sunday21]

 

[Traveler]

15 hours ago, S said:

I have never been the one to talk about marriage or kids because it's never been a "major want for me",(even being married in the Temple wasn't even a thought in my mind, I know that's bad) I use to think something was wrong with my priorities because that's all my friends could ever talk about! and still continue to talk about I've never been an open person I never talk about my feelings. However I've recently been talking to a RM who I can see all that with I've been praying and pondering over it and everything points to that person. That person is constantly on my mind day and night but am I confusing my own feelings to an answer???

 

If your feelings entice you to love, enjoy and live gospel principles (like keeping the Sabbath holy, reading scripture, being virtuous in your relationship and keeping temple covenants – then your mind, heart and emotions are solid and influenced by the spirit.  If you are having difficulty with such standards – your heart, mind and emotions are working against you.

 

The Traveler