Girlfriend/ Possibly Fiancé Soon[F23] Admitted To Me[M24] That She Has Had A Problem With Pornography

[NightSG]

12 hours ago, anatess2 said:

On the flip side, one of the biggest problems with women reading romance novels is that they tend to start to expect to find the guy in real life - or in their husbands.  Imagine your girlfriend/wife yearning for you to be just like the guy in The Notebook.  True story:  a friend of mine broke up with his fiancee because she asked him to read The Notebook before they get married.

Forget The Notebook; I just want a relationship like Carl and Ellie in Up.

(Well, ok, without the early death bit, but still, that was 8 minutes without dialog that told a better love story than many novels.)

[anatess2]

9 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Forget The Notebook; I just want a relationship like Carl and Ellie in Up.

(Well, ok, without the early death bit, but still, that was 8 minutes without dialog that told a better love story than many novels.)

And without the no-children part I hope.

Lots of great love stories out there.  But you should not want Carl and Ellie's relationship.  You should want your own.  You are not Carl and your wife is not Ellie.  You have your own love story.

My love story is the best love story in existence.  And we're just a few chapters in.  It's gonna be awesome to unfold the rest of the chapters.

[JohnsonJones]

I think the waiting period is heavily dependent on each Bishop and each situation.  I've seen Bishops handle very similar situations very differently.  Some would give your fiancé a temple recommend today and say, get married and sealed as quickly as possible.  Others would have that same situation have the individual not have a recommend and wait for up to a year.

In that light, it's very hard to say how long the bishop may or may not do things. 

The best thing to do for someone in a family that is suffering from something like this is to love them.  Simply show that you love them even with all their mistakes and problems.

Something to consider.  There are some who are addicted to pornography that will suffer from this addiction their entire lives.  It is a life long struggle for some.  If you marry someone that is in this situation, this may be something that you will have to deal with for your entire marriage.  I'm not wanting to discourage anyone here, but I have unfortunately seen this play out.  It works best when one spouse unconditionally loves the other, AND...the problem does not blossom or explode into worse problems (in a VERY FEW incidents, I have seen these addictions turn into something that the addicted individual wants to play out in their lives rather than just watching it via a screen or other things).  Some find out that they cannot live with a spouse that struggles with this problem, though, and it leads to a very tragic end (normally divorce, and I personally do not feel this type of thing is something that should be divorced over...but that's a personal opinion).

You should be asking yourself, what will you do if she cannot overcome this?  If she cannot, this is something that you could possibly deal with for the rest of your life. 

I would say it is something that can be handled, as long as there is unconditional love there.  I just mention it because if you have not considered it, you probably should consider that aspect.

On the otherhand, congratulations on the engagement, I hope you do get married and have a VERY HAPPY marriage.  Hopefully you guys can get married sooner than later.

[Danny Phantom]

On 11/29/2017 at 1:03 PM, JohnsonJones said:

I think the waiting period is heavily dependent on each Bishop and each situation.  I've seen Bishops handle very similar situations very differently.  Some would give your fiancé a temple recommend today and say, get married and sealed as quickly as possible.  Others would have that same situation have the individual not have a recommend and wait for up to a year.

In that light, it's very hard to say how long the bishop may or may not do things. 

The best thing to do for someone in a family that is suffering from something like this is to love them.  Simply show that you love them even with all their mistakes and problems.

Something to consider.  There are some who are addicted to pornography that will suffer from this addiction their entire lives.  It is a life long struggle for some.  If you marry someone that is in this situation, this may be something that you will have to deal with for your entire marriage.  I'm not wanting to discourage anyone here, but I have unfortunately seen this play out.  It works best when one spouse unconditionally loves the other, AND...the problem does not blossom or explode into worse problems (in a VERY FEW incidents, I have seen these addictions turn into something that the addicted individual wants to play out in their lives rather than just watching it via a screen or other things).  Some find out that they cannot live with a spouse that struggles with this problem, though, and it leads to a very tragic end (normally divorce, and I personally do not feel this type of thing is something that should be divorced over...but that's a personal opinion).

You should be asking yourself, what will you do if she cannot overcome this?  If she cannot, this is something that you could possibly deal with for the rest of your life. 

I would say it is something that can be handled, as long as there is unconditional love there.  I just mention it because if you have not considered it, you probably should consider that aspect.

On the otherhand, congratulations on the engagement, I hope you do get married and have a VERY HAPPY marriage.  Hopefully you guys can get married sooner than later.

Thank you! To update, she is going to get her temple recommend in about a week when she meets with her Bishop again. She’s been doing very well! On top of that, we’re looking at a late spring wedding!?

[Midwest LDS]

2 minutes ago, Danny Phantom said:

Thank you! To update, she is going to get her temple recommend in about a week when she meets with her Bishop again. She’s been doing very well! On top of that, we’re looking at a late spring wedding!?

 Hey that's great news @Danny Phantom thanks for the update and I hope you have a great start to your marriage!

[Jane_Doe]

FANTASTIC!!!!!!