Baptism Questions/Advice

[DesertRat]

Howdy!

Just a brief back story of how I ended up here: I was raised christian and attended church regularly growing up. During middle school and high school, I went to a pentecostal youth group with friends. I drifted away from religion when I got to college and continued on that path up until just recently (about 15 years later).

Fast forward to today. I have lived here in Utah for several years. I was in Salt Lake recently and decided to go across the street to tour temple square. My only intention was to learn about the temple a bit and walk around. I ended up leaving with a Book of Mormon and spent at least a few hours looking around the history museum! I have since been reading the BoM daily, cross referencing to the Bible, and taking notes. I attended my first sacrament meeting at a local meeting house just earlier this month too! I have been really surprised at how much of an interest I have taken in the church and the BoM. I have considered looking at baptism down the road, but I definitely have some things in my personal life that need to be sorted out first. 

Which brings me to my questions...

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 8 years. We live in separate houses. He is an atheist and does not believe in marriage. I am fine with both of those beliefs, but I know this could present a problem for baptism with the law of chastity. Anyone have any advice or similar situations as this one??

And the next one...Coffee & alcohol. 😆 Not being raised Mormon, those items were always a part of growing up and family functions. Not so easy to quit cold turkey on either. I have been making an honest effort to scale back and have been successful thus far. Do they take into consideration a person who is trying and making progress or do you have to be completely clean of those substances before baptism?? 

Thanks! 

 

Edited August 27, 2018 by DesertRat

[Maureen]

I'm surprised no one who is LDS have responded to you yet @DesertRat. I am non-LDS so can't really answer your questions.

@zil, @Jane_Doe, @Sunday21, anyone interested in helping out?

M.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Maureen

[unixknight]

I doubt the coffee and alcohol thing would be a barrier to baptism but you would be asked to commit to living chaste.  

How do you think your boyfriend would react to that?

[zil]

2 minutes ago, Maureen said:

I'm surprised no one who is LDS have responded to you yet

It being the user's first post, it wasn't actually posted for the rest of us to see "14 hours ago" - despite what the date line on the post says.  Rather, @DesertRat posted it 14 hours ago, and it went into a queue for moderators.  When, exactly, moderators released it from that queue, I don't know, but in my experience, when his happens, it does not show up in the "content I haven't read" list (which is where I always start from).  Therefore, until someone else replies, or until I accidentally trip over it, I won't see the first (or second or third, I believe) post by a newbie.

14 hours ago, DesertRat said:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We live in separate houses. He is an atheist and does not believe in marriage. I am fine with both of those beliefs, but I know this could present a problem for baptism with the law of chastity. Anyone have any advice or similar situations as this one??

And the next one...Coffee & alcohol. 😆 Not being raised Mormon, those items were always a part of growing up and family functions. Not so easy to quit cold turkey on either. I have been making an honest effort to scale back and have been successful thus far. Do they take into consideration a person who is trying and making progress or do you have to be completely clean of those substances before baptism?? 

Welcome, DesertRat!

Hopefully someone else on the boards knows detailed answers to these questions - I don't.  However, I give it as my opinion that it would not be wise to agree to baptism - in which you make a covenant with God to live according to the teachings of the Church - until / unless you are able to live the Word of Wisdom and the law of chastity.  Don't be too hard on yourself - it's a process and some need more time than others, and some need different answers and experiences than others - your path is your path.

The missionaries on http://www.mormon.org/ might be useful for you, particularly if you aren't ready to meet with missionaries in person.

[askandanswer]

Thinking ahead a bit further to the possibilities of both marriage and baptism, I think it would be wise talk with your boyfriend about how you might raise any children together and what the views of both of you would be on the idea of raising your future children in the church. Given that he is atheist, he could be opposed to that idea.

[DesertRat]

2 hours ago, Maureen said:

I'm surprised no one who is LDS have responded to you yet @DesertRat. I am non-LDS so can't really answer your questions.

@zil, @Jane_Doe, @Sunday21, anyone interested in helping out?

M.

Thanks, Maureen! 😊

[DesertRat]

2 hours ago, unixknight said:

I doubt the coffee and alcohol thing would be a barrier to baptism but you would be asked to commit to living chaste.  

How do you think your boyfriend would react to that?

Oh, probably not well!! 😆 And to be completely honest, neither would I. If our relationship was relatively new, that would be one thing. 8 years, however, not so much. I think it will need to be a wait and see what happens kind of thing.

[DesertRat]

2 hours ago, zil said:

It being the user's first post, it wasn't actually posted for the rest of us to see "14 hours ago" - despite what the date line on the post says.  Rather, @DesertRat posted it 14 hours ago, and it went into a queue for moderators.  When, exactly, moderators released it from that queue, I don't know, but in my experience, when his happens, it does not show up in the "content I haven't read" list (which is where I always start from).  Therefore, until someone else replies, or until I accidentally trip over it, I won't see the first (or second or third, I believe) post by a newbie.

Welcome, DesertRat!

Hopefully someone else on the boards knows detailed answers to these questions - I don't.  However, I give it as my opinion that it would not be wise to agree to baptism - in which you make a covenant with God to live according to the teachings of the Church - until / unless you are able to live the Word of Wisdom and the law of chastity.  Don't be too hard on yourself - it's a process and some need more time than others, and some need different answers and experiences than others - your path is your path.

The missionaries on http://www.mormon.org/ might be useful for you, particularly if you aren't ready to meet with missionaries in person.

Well said, Zil!

I am definitely not being hard on myself about any of this. After all, this all came out just a few months ago! I trust that things will happen as they need to and when they need to.

I'll look into chatting with missionaries. I plan to attend another sacrament meeting here next week, so if not in person, then definitely online!

Thanks! 😁

[DesertRat]

1 hour ago, askandanswer said:

Thinking ahead a bit further to the possibilities of both marriage and baptism, I think it would be wise talk with your boyfriend about how you might raise any children together and what the views of both of you would be on the idea of raising your future children in the church. Given that he is atheist, he could be opposed to that idea.

Marriage for him is definitely out of the question. I have brought that up on a few occasions over the last 8 years. Fortunately, neither of us want children, so there at least wouldn't be the issue of what religion to raise them in.

Like I said to unixknight, it's most likely going to have to be a wait and see scenario. I trust that things will work out as they need to. I just need to be patient. 😊

[Fether]

On 7/29/2018 at 7:36 PM, DesertRat said:

Howdy!

Just a brief back story of how I ended up here: I was raised Lutheran and attended church regularly growing up. During middle school and high school, I went to a pentecostal youth group with friends (quite different than the Lutheran church 🤣). I drifted away from religion when I got to college and continued on that path up until just recently (about 15 years later).

Fast forward to today. I have lived here in Utah for about 5 years. I was in Salt Lake back in June for a convention and decided to escape the crowds and go across the street to tour temple square. My only intention was to learn about the temple a bit and walk around and enjoy being away from the crowds at the convention center. I ended up leaving with a Book of Mormon and spent at least a few hours looking around the history museum! I have since been reading the BoM daily, cross referencing to the Bible, and taking notes. I attended my first sacrament meeting at a local meeting house just earlier this month too! I have been really surprised at how much of an interest I have taken in the church and the BoM. I have considered looking at baptism down the road, but I definitely have some things in my personal life that need to be sorted out first. 

Which brings me to my questions...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We live in separate houses. He is an atheist and does not believe in marriage. I am fine with both of those beliefs, but I know this could present a problem for baptism with the law of chastity. Anyone have any advice or similar situations as this one??

And the next one...Coffee & alcohol. 😆 Not being raised Mormon, those items were always a part of growing up and family functions. Not so easy to quit cold turkey on either. I have been making an honest effort to scale back and have been successful thus far. Do they take into consideration a person who is trying and making progress or do you have to be completely clean of those substances before baptism?? 

Thanks! 

 

I’m very impressed with your faith! 

It is a hard truth that things ought to be given up when seeking after the gospel. For you that includes coffee, alcohol, and sex. And later when you are learning more, you may find that you have pride, grudges, or any other multitude of destructive personality traits.

Bur the first thing I would do would be to get with the missionaries and learn more about the gospel through them.

Best of luck!!

[DesertRat]

39 minutes ago, Fether said:

I’m very impressed with your faith! 

It is a hard truth that things ought to be given up when seeking after the gospel. For you that includes coffee, alcohol, and sex. And later when you are learning more, you may find that you have pride, grudges, or any other multitude of destructive personality traits.

Bur the first thing I would do would be to get with the missionaries and learn more about the gospel through them.

Best of luck!!

Thank you, Fether!

I agree. It hasn't been easy, but I feel better already. The amount of money that I have been saving on both coffee and alcohol has been pretty nice too! I have already cut that down to a quarter of what I was spending before! 😳

I'll be getting touch with the missionaries soon. Either in person or via chat. 

Thanks for your support!