Counsel or Command?

[Someone]

I am preparing for my mission but then I fell inlove again with my past girlfriend but became friend whom I've helped in her times of depression and later on became a member of the church and eventually the one who baptized her.

So things went good and eventually I confessed again, and this time she confessed too, and we both love each other and support each other spiritually by doing scripture study together etc. and emotionally by making each other happy and inlove.

But then when I was interviewed by my bishop for my application, he said that I should cut my connection to her and focus on preparing, he also said that we should really really cut everything and just talk again after my mission. 

I just nod, and said yes, cause I know and understand that eventually I will have to leave, but not to the point that I'm going to stop talking to her.

And weekly my bishop calls me over the phone to check if I'm still talking to her and if yes, same thing "stop it." 

So I decided to talk to her and explained things out and we agreed to cut everything, and we just still love each other, she understand me perfectly and she is very willing to wait. 

But every now and then, no matter how much I comfort myself and pray and pray so many times, my heart would always feel so much heavy. And found myself crying very often. 

I'm still doing my best to keep my words and be obedient and prepare for my mission, but I can't help myself not to ponder whether is this really the right thing or not? Oft times I can't help but feel suppressed and it's very annoying.

Edited May 21, 2020 by Someone

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Someone, you have a very, very, VEEERY common story.  I know the emotions are strong.  I know you and she are head over heels with each other.  Your bishop is giving you good advice.

You can't pray away the connection or the emotions.  The only thing that will make this easier, is following his counsel, and then letting time pass.  Time will ease the strong emotions.  Breaking things off will be hard.  Doing hard things, even though it's hard, is one step away from being little kid, and a step towards being an adult.

Edited May 21, 2020 by NeuroTypical

[anatess2]

So... I promised my husband that I will finally do what the doctor told me to do and go on a lifestyle change on - tat-tat-tada - MONDAY!  Gasp.  This involves having to let go of my favorite Filipino foods completely and drastically reducing RICE!  Can you believe that?  A Filipino on rice restriction.  I struggled with this for so long - it's like I'm going to have to rip my identity...

Anyway... I'm so old my son is old enough to be on a mission and yet I still have a hard time doing the things necessary for my well-being.  But on Monday, I'm finally going to do it.  It's going to be hard.  It's going to be tough for the next few years.  But if I want to serve my Lord and my God, I have to do this.  And it will be done.  So bye-bye rice and humba and pinirito.  I love you and I'm going to miss you.  But until my health is back where it belongs, I will think of you with fondness but not dwell on your tastiness until then.  But don't think that just because I finished my health mission that I will come back to you.  I may have drastically changed by then that I don't even want to be with you anymore.  So long, good friends.

[Just_A_Guy]

2 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Hi Someone, you have a very, very, VEEERY common story.  I know the emotions are strong.  I know you and she are head over heels with each other.  Your bishop is giving you good advice.

You can't pray away the connection or the emotions.  The only thing that will make this easier, is following his counsel, and then letting time pass.  Time will ease the strong emotions.  Breaking things off will be hard.  Doing hard things, even though it's hard, is one step away from being little kid, and a step towards being an adult.

NeuroTypical’s advice is both more tactful and more insightful than mine would have been.   

[Jane_Doe]

A huge thing here is: why did the Bishop give you this advice?

It's not to punish either of you.  Or to say that the connection you two feel is bad.   However, it's to put the most important connection first: God.  From your story, I'm guessing that in the past you had put hormones first.  That's not fair to you, to her, or to God.  Focusing on God first and maturing in service to Him is to help you become the best man you can be, to love & honor God and your bride* the way they deserve.  

*Whomever that may be.