Not sure

[Shon Schip]

Back in 1983 I was molested by my bishop, I was 14 years old. I thought what he did was normal at the time 40 plus years later I realize it wasn’t. I love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I don’t want to bring anything bad to the church but I was deceived. The bishop has passed away. What do I do?

[Grunt]

12 hours ago, Shon Schip said:

Back in 1983 I was molested by my bishop, I was 14 years old. I thought what he did was normal at the time 40 plus years later I realize it wasn’t. I love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I don’t want to bring anything bad to the church but I was deceived. The bishop has passed away. What do I do?

I suppose "what you do" depends on what you're looking for.  Are you looking to bring light to this?   Are you looking for closure?   Are you looking to find a way mentally past this?

Given that he's dead, it doesn't seem like there is much that can be done to punish him.   He's answering for his actions already.   I would suggest counseling.  If this is something that affects you 40 years later, only advice would be to find a way to make yourself whole.   

My prayers are certainly with you today.

Edited May 20, 2023 by Grunt

[askandanswer]

Nothing you do can affect the Bishop now. You can only affect you at this point. I suggest you make your actions and decisions based primarily on what is in your best interests and what is the most important thing to do for yourself. I have no experience in this area but I'm pretty sure the church has procedures for how to handle things like this. Whatever you decide to do, I hope your love for the church will continue as ultimately, our best hope for healing comes from Christ. 

[NeuroTypical]

Sorry to hear this happened.  I'm not sure what to suggest.  What action do you think you can take, that will \bring you closest to God?

Sometimes, I'd suggest going public if there's a chance the abuser is still out there abusing.  But 40 years and a dead abuser sort of takes that reason away.

Edited May 20, 2023 by NeuroTypical

[Just_A_Guy]

17 hours ago, Shon Schip said:

Back in 1983 I was molested by my bishop, I was 14 years old. I thought what he did was normal at the time 40 plus years later I realize it wasn’t. I love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I don’t want to bring anything bad to the church but I was deceived. The bishop has passed away. What do I do?

First off:  props for the courage that it takes to talk about it.  Going through that kind of thing stinks, and I’m sure it’s been a rocky road since then.

Second off:  You need to report this; to your legal authorities and to the Church.  Yes, the perp is dead.  But as you probably know—in all likelihood, your bishop did this to others too.  Law enforcement and/or the Church may have resources to do follow-up and identify other victims and make sure they have the help that they need.  Going to the media and launching a whole PR campaign may be overkill—but that absolutely does not mean you are obligated to keep this completely secret.

Lastly:  I think you need to find legal counsel.  You don’t want a mad dog who’s out to embarrass the Church and/or milk it dry.  On the other hand:  under the circumstances, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the Church to cover any unreimbursed mental health/ counseling expenses, or that kind of thing; and my experience is that they are usually willing to help out.  (Obviously, you’ll want to bear in mind that they get a lot of spurious claims; so you (or your attorney) will probably be asked some pretty probing questions over the course of settlement discussions.  And that can be an ordeal in and of itself.)  Again you want to be really careful that you pick an attorney who is willing to follow your agenda, rather than using your story to further their own agenda or political grudges.  And of course, you are going to have to do some soul searching to figure out where lies the line between “making me (as) whole (as possible)”, versus “vengeance is mine!”.  I find that wandering into the latter course is often tempting but, in the long run, rarely particularly helpful.  

Best of luck.

Edited May 20, 2023 by Just_A_Guy

[askandanswer]

@Shon Schip, @Just_A_Guy might be too modest to say this, but, without going into any details, you should know that he is particularly well-placed to advise on this matter