Relief Society Presidencies no longer sit with Bishopric

[Ironhold]

On 3/19/2024 at 3:56 PM, classylady said:

In my younger years as a parent, I remember thinking “why can’t those parents keep their children quiet, or keep them in their seats during Sacrament meeting? My children are able to sit still and be quiet.” I was definitely being judgmental. Then, when my daughter died in a car accident, her two-month old son survived but with a brain injury, (I wonder if it contributed to him being on the autism spectrum?), we pretty much raised him. We would be sitting in Sacrament meeting, and he would suddenly get up and dart up onto the stand. He was a handful. I simply wasn’t prepared as a parent, even though I had raised 7 other children before him, to know how to deal with his behavior, or how to discipline or incentivize him to behave. He’s 20 now, and I still flounder with knowing how to help him flourish. He’s very high functioning, brilliant in areas of language skills, but has an eating disorder and other quirks. I feel like I have failed him as a parent. Anyhow, I’m a little more understanding of children who misbehave. Though, I do admit I find it hard to condone parents who blatantly just sit there and let their children be disruptive. 

Autism is something that a person is born with. Yes, I'm high-functioning. 

Now, people who are autistic often have greater than usual difficulties in processing change and in handling stressful situations, so it's entirely possible that your grandson had an astoundingly hard time dealing with it. 

Also... what sort of quirks and "eating disorder" are we talking about? There's a lot that often goes hand-in-hand with autism, and so depending upon what we're looking at this could be how your grandson is wired. 

[LDSGator]

2 hours ago, Ironhold said:

Autism is something that a person is born with. Yes, I'm high-functioning. 

Now, people who are autistic often have greater than usual difficulties in processing change and in handling stressful situations, so it's entirely possible that your grandson had an astoundingly hard time dealing with it. 

Also... what sort of quirks and "eating disorder" are we talking about? There's a lot that often goes hand-in-hand with autism, and so depending upon what we're looking at this could be how your grandson is wired. 

One of my closest friends has Aspergers. He’s mentioned before that he’s glad he was born when he was, simply because there’s more understanding of Autism now than ever before. 

 

[Ironhold]

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

One of my closest friends has Aspergers. He’s mentioned before that he’s glad he was born when he was, simply because there’s more understanding of Autism now than ever before. 

 

When I was growing up, "Rain Man" was pretty much the only reference people had for what autism was. Because I was so "high-functioning" and had already been labeled as "gifted" everyone just presumed I was neurotypical and that any time any of my quirks manifest it was in fact some sort of personal failing on my part. It's a big part of why I suffered so much growing up, as the adults viewed everything I said or did through this lens and never imagined that perhaps I was needing some help. 

Yes, I was well into adulthood before I was given an official diagnosis, and by then I'd left behind a sad history of poor choices, burned bridges, and people I'd hurt. 

[LDSGator]

2 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

It's a big part of why I suffered so much growing up, as the adults viewed everything I said or did through this lens and never imagined that perhaps I was needing some help. 

 

I’m so sorry bro. Childhood was a miserable time for a lot of us. 😞 

[Ironhold]

15 hours ago, LDSGator said:

I’m so sorry bro. Childhood was a miserable time for a lot of us. 😞 

The big hurdles I'm facing now:

1. Getting people to understand that because I'm wired differently, I sometimes have a few issues. For example, if I get stressed enough, the muscles in my jaw and tongue will actually seize temporarily, leaving me unable to speak for a brief period. Rather than understand that they need to give me a second, a lot of folks who witness this will just presume what I was going to say and go off of that. 

2. The combination of my being on the spectrum and what I've lived through has left me high-strung at times and constantly on alert, which leads to anxiety issues and the like. 

3. The assemblage of mental and physical health issues I have mean I have no peace or comfort. Even on a good day I'm usually in some degree of constant dull pain, and trying to be "normal" is also mentally taxing. 

4. There is no "my bad!" big enough to magically undo the damage that was done to me, but whenever I try to explain to someone how A led to B there's a non-zero chance they'll flip out on me for how I'm still "blaming" them for what happened in the past and I need to let it go. 

5. The combination of my being on the spectrum and what I've lived through has rocked my perceptions of what is "normal". It's to the point that I'm actually having trouble writing fiction because I have no frame of reference for what certain emotions feel like or how someone feeling those emotions would act. 

[LDSGator]

10 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

The big hurdles I'm facing now:

1. Getting people to understand that because I'm wired differently, I sometimes have a few issues. For example, if I get stressed enough, the muscles in my jaw and tongue will actually seize temporarily, leaving me unable to speak for a brief period. Rather than understand that they need to give me a second, a lot of folks who witness this will just presume what I was going to say and go off of that. 

2. The combination of my being on the spectrum and what I've lived through has left me high-strung at times and constantly on alert, which leads to anxiety issues and the like. 

3. The assemblage of mental and physical health issues I have mean I have no peace or comfort. Even on a good day I'm usually in some degree of constant dull pain, and trying to be "normal" is also mentally taxing. 

4. There is no "my bad!" big enough to magically undo the damage that was done to me, but whenever I try to explain to someone how A led to B there's a non-zero chance they'll flip out on me for how I'm still "blaming" them for what happened in the past and I need to let it go. 

5. The combination of my being on the spectrum and what I've lived through has rocked my perceptions of what is "normal". It's to the point that I'm actually having trouble writing fiction because I have no frame of reference for what certain emotions feel like or how someone feeling those emotions would act. 

Dude, I hope things work out for you. You are absolutely in my prayers.  

[Ironhold]

6 minutes ago, LDSGator said:

Dude, I hope things work out for you. You are absolutely in my prayers.  

Thanks.

But yeah, I've spent 6 years tinkering with the script for a one-off indie comic. Where I'm stuck at is the scene where the character's efforts and sacrifices actually pay off for them, as TBH I don't know what that's like. All I can think about is how everything I've tried in life has failed miserably sooner or later, either because I didn't get the support I needed or because something clouded my judgement to the point that I self-destructed at a critical moment. 

[LDSGator]

24 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

But yeah, I've spent 6 years tinkering with the script for a one-off indie comic

Those are often the best ones. One issue wonders. 

[LDSGator]

@Ironhold In all seriousness, you should give the comic a shot. I’m a lifelong fan of the medium, and I’m sure you are as well. I don’t know any comic writers personally, but I’ll guess that the overwhelming majority of them struggled to get it all together. Rookies at everything usually struggle at first.   

[Ironhold]

49 minutes ago, LDSGator said:

@Ironhold In all seriousness, you should give the comic a shot. I’m a lifelong fan of the medium, and I’m sure you are as well. I don’t know any comic writers personally, but I’ll guess that the overwhelming majority of them struggled to get it all together. Rookies at everything usually struggle at first.   

Right now, the US comic book industry is in extreme turmoil. The major publishers keep falling down on the job because they've lost sight of the art and the audience, but the indie houses and would-be crowd-funders aren't a large enough presence yet to buoy the industry back up on its own. As a result, people are turning to Japanese, Korean, and non-traditional titles in large numbers to fill the void. 

[Traveler]

22 hours ago, Ironhold said:

 

But yeah, I've spent 6 years tinkering with the script for a one-off indie comic. .......

Just for fun – a long time ago, when the wife and I were still raising our children, I kept a notebook of stupid things I said.  All with the idea of perhaps someday publishing a book of humor.   Some examples: 

“Your mother is coming over today?  Does she need to borrow your broom?”

“Your sister is on another diet?  Did she break her Richter scale?”

The husband comes home from work and the wife is in the kitchen fixing hamburgers for dinner.  

    Husband: “Why are the hamburgers so big?”

    Wife: “Because I got big buns.”

     Warning!!!! Whatever cute and fun thing you are thinking of saying could be damaging to your health.

 

The Traveler

[LDSGator]

21 hours ago, Ironhold said:

Right now, the US comic book industry is in extreme turmoil. The major publishers keep falling down on the job because they've lost sight of the art and the audience, but the indie houses and would-be crowd-funders aren't a large enough presence yet to buoy the industry back up on its own. As a result, people are turning to Japanese, Korean, and non-traditional titles in large numbers to fill the void. 

It’s interesting you say that, because the local comic store here is booming. I’m on a casual first name basis with the owner (the way most of the regular customers are, nothing special) and he mentioned it’s the DC\Marvel ones that are still best sellers.  He doesn’t stock a ton of indie stuff because it doesn’t sell. 

[LDSGator]

Just to be clear @Ironhold, I’m not saying you are wrong. Gainesville/Ocala are not a good representation of the comic tastes of the entire nation. 

Edited March 22 by LDSGator

[Ironhold]

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

It’s interesting you say that, because the local comic store here is booming. I’m on a casual first name basis with the owner (the way most of the regular customers are, nothing special) and he mentioned it’s the DC\Marvel ones that are still best sellers.  He doesn’t stock a ton of indie stuff because it doesn’t sell. 

It's a rare comic shop these days that can sustain itself solely on new comics; nowadays, most rely on some mix of card games, back issues, tabletop games, graphic novels, manga, and merchandise to pay the bills. 

As much as the mainstream publishers don't want to admit it, they're putting out more misses than hits. Even 6 - 7 years ago people were noticing inches-thick stacks of unsold individual issues of "modern" mainstream comics, made worse by Marvel not always accepting returns. There's 15 of the green comics and 14 of the blue & yellow ones, and the fact that they're to the rear means they aren't even the current issue. 

Edited March 22 by Ironhold

[LDSGator]

24 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

It's a rare comic shop these days that can sustain itself solely on new comics; nowadays, most rely on some mix of card games, back issues, tabletop games, graphic novels, manga, and merchandise to pay the bills. 

 

Yes, agree fully. 

[classylady]

On 3/20/2024 at 3:51 PM, Ironhold said:

Autism is something that a person is born with. Yes, I'm high-functioning. 

Now, people who are autistic often have greater than usual difficulties in processing change and in handling stressful situations, so it's entirely possible that your grandson had an astoundingly hard time dealing with it. 

Also... what sort of quirks and "eating disorder" are we talking about? There's a lot that often goes hand-in-hand with autism, and so depending upon what we're looking at this could be how your grandson is wired. 

My grandson was diagnosed as a child with Asperger’s, but now it’s called the autism spectrum. He is high-functioning, but he has anxiety, which at times can be severe. He was at college last year, but his anxiety and difficulty with dealing with the social environment (roommates), he came back home. He overeats, and it’s like he has no concept of feeling full or knowing when to stop eating. I have to hide certain foods from him. He has a hard time with delaying gratification, such as saving money for something in the future, or just paying his bills. Most people wouldn’t have any idea he is on the spectrum when they first meet him. It’s after they have been around him for awhile that they begin to notice his quirks, such as not understanding personal space, etc.

[Ironhold]

22 hours ago, classylady said:

My grandson was diagnosed as a child with Asperger’s, but now it’s called the autism spectrum. He is high-functioning, but he has anxiety, which at times can be severe. He was at college last year, but his anxiety and difficulty with dealing with the social environment (roommates), he came back home. He overeats, and it’s like he has no concept of feeling full or knowing when to stop eating. I have to hide certain foods from him. He has a hard time with delaying gratification, such as saving money for something in the future, or just paying his bills. Most people wouldn’t have any idea he is on the spectrum when they first meet him. It’s after they have been around him for awhile that they begin to notice his quirks, such as not understanding personal space, etc.

In your grandson's case, it literally *could* be that the part of his brain governing the signals from his stomach isn't working properly and so he *could* legit not have an understanding of when his body is full. And apparently, some people on the spectrum do have issues with delayed gratification; I myself had issues at one point to where when I was stressed or not focused I'd spend money. 

That's the thing with autism, as it's almost always comorbid with *something* physical, mental, or emotional, if not some combination thereof.