She is MY MOTHER.

[Elphaba]

I put this LDS Gospel Discussion because it is about my mother, who is LDS. I really wanted to tell you about her if I may.

This is about my mother, of whom I often have such a hard time being with--we are polar opposites and disagree about everything!

It is about my mother who has been incredibly kind to me, and I can never tell her how grateful I am, yet there has always been distance between us, and always will be. So be it.

This is about my mother who has lived in fear all of her life, every day of her life. This is about my mother who will barely talk to you, and will hide from you, and withdraw, and avoid, and turn out all of the lights and watch television, by herself, in the pitch dark every night.

It is about my mother, My Mother, of whom I am suddenly so incredibly proud of I can't think of her without swelling with an affection I have never, in my 52 years, felt for her, and I want people to know about what a wonderful thing she is doing.

I want people to know, not only because what she is doing is so important, but because it's My Mother doing it! My Mother who never does anything, never goes anywhere, never talks to anyone, and is sad and depressed and cannot figure out how to live the rest of her life.

That was my mother. But this is My Mother!

We were having the usual conversation one day. Some of you know my father was severely abusive. My mother has my forgiveness for her part in any of this, and she knows this. But she does not forgive herself.

It occurred to me that if she volunteered at a women's shelter, perhaps that would help her with her sense of despondency she so often suffers because of her guilt. So I mentioned it.

Shocked, I saw her light up!

Shocked again, she actually called the places you call, called the people you call, and has gone and talked to the people you talk to! My Mother did this!

She has gone to the women's shelter a number of times, where she's discovered they need clothes for the women. People often donate clothes for the children. But the women come in with only the clothes on their back, and they have nothing decent to wear.

So, My Mother has gone out and purchased a substantial amount of clothes for the women who are so shattered when they arrive. Hopefully they are a little less shattered because my mother has given them something decent to wear out the door. Probably not, because of the trauma. But that's okay. My Mother knows what that trauma feels like, and she knows what she is doing is important.

You have no idea how proud I am of My Mother for doing this.

But there's more.

She has gone to her bishop, and asked him if she could talk to him about women and abuse. She has spent a lifetime of frustration when people say things like "Well, why doesn't she just leave him?" My Mother understands why they don't just leave him.

And she has a bishop who wants to know why they don't just leave them. This alone has given my mother such peace, because there just has not been anyone in her life who cared. What a wonderful bishop.

But again, I can't tell you how incredible it is that My Mother, even walked to the bishop's office, sat down, told him her story, and ASKED for his help with this. She would never have done this before. Ever.

But there's even more.

She also has a friend from her FHE group who she talked to about what she was doing, and her friend sparked up just like my mother did. She is as kind, touched, appalled, and motivated as my mother, and wants to do everything she can to help these women and children. My mother barely knew this woman--now they're going to the stores together, making deals for clothes for the shelters! She's 72, her friend is 82, and they are fabulous!

My Mother made a friend! My Mother is going out, and spending her time thinking of ways she can help the shelter and actually talking to people!

I had no idea when I made this suggestion to her that she would actually take my advice. In fact, she feels she has been inspired by the Lord, and that this is her life's work now. I am not going to argue with that.

All I know is that my mother, My Mother, who has never had much joy, who has never had much direction, who has longed to know her mission in life, but has been too scared to walk out that door, My Mother, is the most courageous woman I know.

She is an amazing woman of whom I am so incredibly proud. I never thought I would ever say that. I know that sounds mean and a bit heartless. But it is the truth, and I say it so that you will understand how astonishing this woman is. I am overwhelmed with pride, and wonder, hope, and joy.

But even with all of this happiness I see coming from her as she tells me about her excursions for the day, I realize something that I hadn't known before, and it is hard. It's very hard. I can't explain it now--perhaps another day.

I love my mother. Not My Mother.

Just my mother. I love her with all my heart. I wish I could tell her that when I am with her. I can't right now.

Soon?

Elphaba

[MorningStar]

Awwwww! That's so awesome! I know what it's like to have an awkward relationship with one parent, but I love them both. Yay for your mom!

[Guest rainbird]

That is a touching, really beautiful story! No matter what we've gone though in our lives, God still has work for us, and in His work is joy...

Thank you!

-CK

[WillowTheWhisp]

I hope one day that you can tell her. It's important that you tell her, that she knows ................... knows because she hears it from you and can be touched by that knowing just as you are obviously so touched by this and have touched others by what you have shared here.

[Canuck Mormon]

What a story Elph. I wish you could tell your Mother how you feel. Try not to wait too long, or you might not get the chance.

[Snow]

Whaddya mean you can't tell her?

You're an adult. If you have something to say, just say it.

[siouxz72]

Wow...elphie!! What a great story! I do believe that your mother has been inspired by the Lord and you were the instrument He used! I've told you many times that it's a very loving Heavenly Father that brought you in to the lives of so many people, your mom being one of them! You were the one that when the Lord said "This family will suffer terribly at the hands of this man" you said... "Let it be me..I can handle it..Don't let anyone else in my family suffer like I will" You are a wonderful woman, elphie!! And an inspiration and a wonder to us all!! I love you and I love that you love your mama and what she is so courageously doing now. She learned that courage from one whom she loves just as much!! Thank you SO SO much for sharing this great story with us all!

Love you, sister!!

xoxo,

Siouxz

[Moksha]

Thank you so much for sharing this story of a remarkable transformation.

[LdsNana]

Elder Packer said, in his book - "Teach Ye Diligently"

Parents will learn infinitely more from their children, that their children will ever learn from them...

You are the capstone of her life... you must go to her. She, needs - your approval - desperately - and right now...

tDMg

LdsNana-AskMormon

[Alaskagain]

Thank you very, very much, Elphaba!

Please will you print out your OP, put it with an I Love You card and leave it where your mother will find it?

:)Beside a box of kleenex.

[WANDERER]

Elphi, tell her that you love her and are proud of her and think that she is brave in an uplifting way. The card is a good idea. She might not know how to respond to it and withdraw from it, but I'm sure your words will mean a lot to her.

[pushka]

Wow Elphie!! That really is a wonderful story, I'm really happy to hear of how fulfilled your mum now feels since helping out the women at the Refuge Centre!! I'm really happy that it has brought the two of you closer again, and renewed your feelings of love and admiration for her...Keep up the good work of encouraging folks Elphie!! :)

[minivan]

Whaddya mean you can't tell her?

You're an adult. If you have something to say, just say it.

dude, quit ruining the lovely mood, poop-face.

This is a really happy and warm story:)