MorningStar Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 My cousin's grandparents were 20 years apart and they had a wonderful marriage. He was 40 and she was 20 when they got married. I can't imagine wanting to marry a 40-year-old at that age, but it worked for them. :) Quote
Palerider Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 Did he know that you were you? (That you were the parent?) I mean, if so, I cannot fathom such rudeness. If not, the individual was still extremely foolish to voice such opinions at the wedding.Ironically, my parent-in-laws were intially concerned about the seven years difference between my wife and I. My BIL is 14 years older than my sis--they've done great. My grandfather was 9 years senior to grandma.If the couple were 20-years plus apart it would seem a bit much. On the other hand, I wouldn't oppose it on moral grounds (unless she was mid-teen or younger). I'd keep my private concerns private--especially at a wedding.Palerider, without referencing your church, in this matter it sounds like you were a true saint. this took place at the wedding reception.....and yes he knew I was the parent....he is a friend of mine.....he did not know that my parents were 10yrs apart in age..... Quote
Palerider Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 Here is a question. (I jsut asked myself this question, and it wasn't as easy to answer)How many of you that had a daughter say age 20-24 would approve of her marrying a righteous LDS man in his 40's...(of course in the temple)?Shoe is on the other foot now isn't it?answer this,....could you allow your daughter to marry when she is 18yrs old to someone who is 28yrs old????? Quote
prisonchaplain Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 How many of you that had a daughter say age 20-24 would approve of her marrying a righteous LDS man in his 40's...(of course in the temple)?Shoe is on the other foot now isn't it? I might ultimately accept it, but we would rightly test their commitment and love for each other with a boatload of questions, concerns, and suggestions of caution. Of course, as Palerider points out, we'd likely have similar responses with a 10 year difference. In fact, some of the brothers that might express an interest in my daughters would likely garner my skepticism, despite being the same age. Quote
Moksha Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 From what I can tell, no teenage girls want to engage in arranged marriages with fifty years old guys. Quote
Fiannan Posted April 16, 2008 Author Report Posted April 16, 2008 The Spirit would have to pretty much overwhelm me for me to approve of it. At 20, (and being 20 myself) I don't think you're able to see the full implications of marrying someone that much older than you. And, still, I think 20+ difference is just not proper. Call me old fashioned, but no amount of arguing is going to get me to change my mind on that, not so long as people only live to an average age of 80 or so years. I have a son who is 20. He seems all bent out of shape over one of his friends getting engaged to a man in his mid-30s (and previously divorced). I just asked him why he was concerned -- since he has a stunning girlfriend anyway. Anyway, I think, correct me if I am wrong, that many guys in their early 20s see older men as a big threat. These guys may be more mature, more stable, and to many women, more desirable physically. Yes, if I was a guy in my early 20s I might not appreciate the competition.Yet there are many young women attracted to older guys. How many 18 - 22 year olds would turn down a date with David Ducovney, Brad Pitt, Jonney Depp or Tom Cruz if these men were single and available? I think many guys in their 30s or 40s or even 50s can attest that they have had younger women attracted to them -- even to the point of stalking. I have encountered this personally a few times (and I am married with 8 kids!!!). Quote
Fiannan Posted April 16, 2008 Author Report Posted April 16, 2008 From what I can tell, no teenage girls want to engage in arranged marriages with fifty years old guys. Maybe not the arranged part. Quote
Fiannan Posted April 16, 2008 Author Report Posted April 16, 2008 answer this,....could you allow your daughter to marry when she is 18yrs old to someone who is 28yrs old????? Sounds pretty reasonable.:) Quote
Hemidakota Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 Fiannan, did you say you have eight children? Quote
Fiannan Posted April 16, 2008 Author Report Posted April 16, 2008 Fiannan, did you say you have eight children?[/quotFour boys and four girls!:) Quote
Hemidakota Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 "Yu da man" Congrats... That indeed is alot of sacrifices in having a large family. I have 6-girls and 2-boys. Quote
Fiannan Posted April 16, 2008 Author Report Posted April 16, 2008 "Yu da man" Congrats...That indeed is alot of sacrifices in having a large family. I have 6-girls and 2-boys. That's great! Although I have never been harassed by anyone when I take my kids to the store or anything like that. Always wanted the opportunity to have an obnoxious person do this but they just don't. Oh well. Quote
Moksha Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 Originally Posted by Moksha From what I can tell, no teenage girls want to engage in arranged marriages with fifty years old guys. Maybe not the arranged part. Well, let's take a hypothetical polygamy case then: Say there is a fifty year old polygamist, we can call him Humbert-Humbert and a fourteen year old girl, we can call her Lita.What you are saying is that Lita would not like to be in an arranged marriage with middle aged Humbert-Humbert, but perhaps on her own accord would be happy to be in this duo.How long would Lita's happiness last? Might it be just a passing schoolgirl fancy, rather than a commitment for time and eternity? Also, there would be the statutory consideration as to whether Lita is really mature enough to make such a commitment to Humbert-Humbert.What if these FLDS Polygamists were able to institute the Amish idea of a Rumspringa for their adolescents (a period of time where they could live away from the compound and taste the outside world) then at the age of 18 could decide for themselves if they wished to get hitched to the Humbert-Humberts of their world? Quote
tiancum Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 answer this,....could you allow your daughter to marry when she is 18yrs old to someone who is 28yrs old?????Yea, no prob...I keep asking myself, could the Lord want two people with vastly diverse ages to be together, i gotta answer, yes. Quote
littlemisschatterbox Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 How many 18 - 22 year olds would turn down a date with David Ducovney, Brad Pitt, Jonney Depp or Tom Cruz if these men were single and available?I would turn them down but I'm only 16 lol I'm not quite sure what to make of the spiritual age difference but I think that when an older man and a younger girl get together its a little odd. I mean it's their choice, but it just seems...different?(if thats the word I'm looking for) to me. This could be based on how the media has shown the "acceptable" couple to be though. Most couples I see are usually around the same age, and if there happens to be a large age difference then things are said about them like "oh that girl must be a gold digger" or something along those line. Overall though I think it is their choice and if that is what they choose to do and they feel it is right..then go for it Quote
Guest Breezy Posted April 17, 2008 Report Posted April 17, 2008 I have been with my husband since 1983. I was 20 when I met him he was 47. There is a 27 year difference between us. He has 6 children from 2 previous marriages. 3 of those children are much older than me 1 is the same age within a month and 2 are younger than me. I work, he does not and hasnt for 11 years. He is Catholic and thinks mormons are a cult. I dont know if I believe in God or not but think mormons are anything but a cult. The point to this is that even though we are not even close to what most people would think of as a compatible couple much less an ideal one we have survived. It has been anything but easy but we did it. I think a successful mariage has less to do with age and more to do with a willingness to see it thru and work it out. Quote
ztodd Posted April 17, 2008 Report Posted April 17, 2008 You'll find examples of where a big age difference doesn't break the deal and you'll find examples of where it does. Case by case basis. Too hard to judge another's situation. Sometimes people are a little too quick to say that age doesn't matter. Of course it matters. It's an issue you have to look at. Maybe a big issue. It has a direct impact on how compatible the couple is- how much they have in common, their common values, their goals, their life plans, etc. With a big age difference it becomes even more important for the couple to explore all of these issues and make a well thought out and well prayed about decision. Quote
Fiannan Posted April 17, 2008 Author Report Posted April 17, 2008 Thirty year age difference -- just saw this story about Putin:Putin secretly divorces his wife and marries rhythmical gymnast Alina Kabaeva? - Pravda.RuOh well, the younger generation in Russia is totally into Putin anyway -- check out the Putin music video: Quote
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